PANDA PROSTITUTION INVESTIGATION

Milograd

Milograd

TNPer
MY NAME IS AH MILOGRAD

FOR OF TO BE HALF OF LAZARUS I LODGE QUESTION ABOUT PANDA PROSTITUTION CABAL IN THE NORTH PACIFIC

WE QUESTION THE DONKEYS SO DEMOCRATIC

THE WOLVES BLUE BECAUSE OF ILLEGAL TEST

WE LIKE

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OH YAH THE PANDA PROSTITUES MAKE MY WEINER BURN LIKE AH HOT HOT HOT.


HOW ARE THE COAT PRODUCTION? DO YOU MAKE COATS FOR MY WEE WEE? I LIKE AH THE LEATHER LIKE AH CANDOM
 
HELLO MY NAME IS BE BORCAT

I AM NICE TO MEET YOU

PLEASE TO BE TELLING OF THE LOCATION FOR PANDA PROSTITUTE FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS LAZARUS
 
ABOVE PHOTO EVIDENCE CLEARLY SHOW CONDONE OF PROSTITUTE ESCAPE

VERY NICE

BUT PICTURE SHOW MUCH SAD ABANDONED CHILDS

NOT NICE

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OH YAH WHERE IS THE LOCATION OF THE PROSTITUES? I LIKE THE PROSTITUES. THEY ARE GERY NICE
 
CHAIRMAN'S VISUAL PICTURE IS VERY WORRYING

PLEASE TO BE SURE THAT PANDA BE WELL CARE FOR BY PANDA PROSTITUTE

TO BE FINDING EXAMPLE OF LAZARENE STANDARD ON INTERNET PLEASE TO BE LOOKING HERE

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YES NEW IMAGE BY COMRADE FUNKADELIA SHOW VERY WORRYING EVIDENCE

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IS TO BE FINDING FURTHER EVIDENCE TO PANDA PROSTITUTION DRUG RING

PLEASE TO BE TELLING HOW FINE DRUGS ARE? ARE TO BE PURE ENOUGH FOR ENDANGERED SPECIES?
 
PANDA CLAN ABDUCTION BY NORTHERN PACIFIC MAKE FOR COCAINE PANDA

NO CONVICTION FOR COCAINE-SELLING PANDA

NOT NICE
 
IS NOT NICE

MUST PROVIDE FOR KIDNAP PANDA

MUST ALLOW USE OF PURER DRUG POWDER

IN LAZARUS PROPER JUSTICE SERVED TO PROTECT PANDAS FROM CYCLE OF POVERTY BY PROVIDE PROPER EDUCATION UNDER MY DIPLOMACY GROUP BOARD IN PRISON

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WE HAVE SOLUTION TO PROTECT INTEGRITY AND VIRGINITY OF PANDA

IS TO SELF-DEFENSE IN LAZARENE STYLE

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IS TO BE NECESSARY FOR LAZARENE PANDA WHEN LOAN TO PANDA PROSTITUTES
 
BEHOLD SCHOOL AGE PANDA CLIQUE EXPOSED TO CRACK-COCAINE

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NO INNOCENCE IN THEIR EYES

SITUATION WORSENS

THEY BECOME DEAL LEERS AND SELL TO YOUNG GIRL AT SKETCH AMUSEMENT CENTER

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OH DEAR
 
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THIS IS DESCRIPTION OF PANDA HE KILL ALOT OF PEOPLE CAUSE HE WANT DA MONEY. IF YOU SEE DIS PANDA CALL 555-LAZARUS POLICE OR CONTACT US WWW. LAZARUSVERYVERYNICE .COM
 
COURT OF THE NORTH PACIFIC

AFTER GET CAUGHT DEAL COCAINE BLOW YOUNG PANDA MARCELLUS IS BROUGHT TO COURT. ELUVATAR DEFENDS SCUM OF SOCIETY FOR SUPPOSED JUSTICE

"GREAT HONOR TO SERVE" SAY ELU

Marcellus had only known Eluvatar for a week, yet his entire future essentially rested in Elu's cold, frail hands. "I must be freed of from this cruel, manipulative system," said Marcellus. He sighed as the judge entered the room.

"I AM JUDGE" SAID JUDGE
 
THE FORBIDDEN CITY
Office of Meow Zedong (Operational Codename: Borcat)

"Yes, it seems the pandas are trading in cocaine." "Lazarene pure uncut cocaine?" "No, TNP style cocaine."

Meow Zedong walked to the door. The tides of the fountain outside rippled, dark and unceasing. Like Meow's emotions.

"We must stop them."

orbat to come
 
orbat for milograd under president borcat attached

Alpha Force deployed in North Pacific
2 - Dreadfire Class Aircraft Carriers
4899 Speztnaz troops
15 Destroyers
88 Battleships
1 Marine Fleet
1 Orbital Cannon
15,000 sodliers armed with FN FAL for freedom from oppression and NSA dogs
 
Lazarus Liberation Army Barracks.

When they say the pandas are making the cocaine. We had to stop them so we call aaaall the generals for plan.

"I am general. We must use nukes to kill the pandas" said general

"Ok" said soldier
 
JUDGE GO TO BENCH AND SAY TO MARCELLUS "MARCELLUS YOU BAD PANDA YOU DO THE DRUG AND GET VERY HIGH AND IT IS BAD."

ELUVATAR SAY "OBJECTION"

JUDGE SAY "OVERRULE"

"Damn," Eluvatar thought to himself. This was the only chance he could get to properly defend someone like Marcellus, but the Judge didn't seem like he was going to go for it.

ELUVATAR SAY "PLEASE JUDGE MARCELLUS IS NOT BAD PANDA MAN."

JUDGE SAY "I KNOW MARCELLUS HE DO THE DRUG AND HIRE MY SISTER AS PROSTITUTE."
 
Lazarus Situation Room 003 (Operational Codename: SNOWY PANDA PAWS)

"Hello, Meow?"

"Yes, who is it?"

"This is Doge."

"Ah...General Doge. Where is the fleet?"

"It will be in their capital in a few weeks (OOC: One post)."
 
MARCELLUS GO FOR JUGULAR AS CLASS STRUGGLE INTENSIFIES

JUDGE USES POWERFUL GAVEL TO SMASH MARCELLUS SKULL HARDER THAN COCAINE EVER COULD

BUT ELU BREAK UP FIGHT BECAUSE ELU ALWAYS CARRIES MOST POWERFUL WEAPON OF ALL

INDEED ELU CARRIES PORTABLE VERSION CONSTIBILLOCODE IN POCKET

"WE SURRENDER" SAID JUDGE

JUDGE WHO WAS SOLD INTO SLAVERY BY MARCELLUS AFTERWARDS

JUSTICE IS IMPECCABLE
 
OFF THE COAST AFTER ONE WEEK

The fleet was ready to kill all the cocaine pandas. All the missiles were ready and the soldiers going to the capital.

"FIRE ALL THE MISSILES. BAD PANDAS MUST DIE DIE DIE" said admiral.

2000 missiles hit the capital. Alot of people die.
 
2 YEAR LATER.

MARCELLUS WHIP JUDGE ALL DAY BECAUSE HE IS SLAVE.

JUDGE START TO LIKE

"VERY NICE."

HE SAY TO MARCELLUS.

MARCELLUS LOOK INTO EYES OF JUDGE.

"I AH LOVE YOU JUDGE. I KNOW YOU LIKEA THE WHIP SO I DO IT VERY MUCH"

"I LOVE YOU TOO MARCELLUS. I LIKE THE WHIP PACHOO PACHOO."

MARCELLUS AND JUDGE WHIP EACH OTHER FOR MUCH YEARS.

TRUE LOVE.

JUSTICE IS IMPECCABLE.
 
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Statement from the People's Republic of Lazarus
Regarding the Symbolism Behind "PANDA PROSTITUTION INVESTIGATION (PPI)"
and the Future of Our Diplomatic Relationship​
To whom it may concern:

"PANDA PROSTITUTION INVESTIGATION" is in some ways symbolic of how we presently perceive our relationship with The North Pacific. The People's Republic of Lazarus would like to ask the great people of The North Pacific about where exactly they wish to go in terms of our relationship. We chose to articulate our analysis of the situation through our poetry. The story is clearly an allegory and a symbol for the diplomatic dissonance and uncertainty that we are currently experience. You are the Judge and we are the lost Marcellus, and though we secretly love each other there was a indeed a recent time where we had to be uncertain of what the future held for us. However, the important difference is that the story of Marcellus the Crackhead Panda and the Judge had an end, and their relationship is finite, whereas ours is essentially eternal within the context of this game. But all cliffhangers lead us off cliffs, and thus we must protect ourselves from ending our story with a cliffhanger.

To do so, we must address the central cause of our uncertainty. We were informed that there were differing opinions about where TNP wants to go with Lazarus; indeed, it was similar to how there were different perspectives about the morality of the panda's drug use and lifestyle between our regions in the story. In our eyes, based on the statements we privately received shortly before I took over the Chairmanship, there seemed to be different perspectives about the morality and righteousness of the PRL's actions following the fallout of the removal of imperialists from the region and the fallout with Balder. Our original plan was to immediately pursue closer bonds with the North Pacific, but these statements caused us to pause our pursuit of that goal.

If the leadership or chief diplomats of The North Pacific would be willing to talk to us in private about this issue so that we may clarify the circumstances and desires of both parties, it would be most appreciated and understood. Thank you kindly for your time and attention. In the end, the People's Republic simply wants to build a better relationship with our brothers to the north.

We encourage you to contact Matheca or Milograd for further inquiries. Cheers.

Humble regards,
Milograd
WA Delegate of Lazarus
 
As hilarious as it would be for this entire story to have been a preamble to the communique, regretfully that isn't the case. We were bored and wanted to screw around, but we went a bit overboard.

Our apologies. We were having some dumb -- heavy emphasis on dumb there -- fun. :ADN:
 
I'm not sure if this requires a serious response or not... but I am going to give one anyway:

- TNP has kept the line of communication open between us and both Balder and Lazarus during their recent disagreements with one another.
- The North Pacific provided support to Harmoneia when she accidentally resigned from the World Assembly (and possibly when she first took the Delegacy (I can't remember for certain)
- After some consultation with yourself and Former Queen/Chairwoman Harmoneia we removed the Persona Non Grata status placed upon yourself to allow you to represent Lazarus as its ambassador and in recognition of your genuine regret for the past actions in the South Pacific who remains an important ally of the North Pacific
- On behalf of the North Pacific we congratulated both Harmoneia and yourself on taking the Delegacy and mentioned that we hoped for closer ties with your administration. Military cooperation is something that I am particularly interested in.

Further I would say that I am unaware of any discussions surrounding your appointment to the Chairmanship that involved negativity from the North Pacific. I don't even remember seeing you on IRC during that time to discuss it with you, and we have not had exchanged telegrams in some time.

This does not sound like the case of two regions heading for the cliff :P
 
All right, awesome. Admittedly, this thread was largely a joke (Truth be told, I need to get my amusement fix in a way that doesn't involve purges, so I'm trying some things out >_>) but I did want to talk to you.

I heard that there were concerns about us and that there might be a possible break when I took the delegacy, so I'm happy to hear that that's not the case. I'm obviously very grateful for TNP's friendship towards Lazarus, particularly when we've needed it, and will do my best to reciprocate it. :)

As for military cooperation, Lazarus is exclusively defender now, but if TNP would like to cooperate with us in defense operations I'd be extremely receptive to that. Cheers.
 
...

I, uh, em. Yeah. Ok.

McM answered your questions but it would been, ehm, more expedient if you had just put that to us in the first place instead of the ... poem.
 
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