On A Clear Day You Can See Forever

You ever look up at the sky? Not a glance. Really LOOK. See the stars, the clouds, the planets or the universe?

Ever look at Deneb on a moonless winter night with wonder?

They say the eye is the window to our soul. Well the eye can see a star that's two thousand six-hundred light years away. Trying to wrap your head around that kind of distance is a staggering prospect. You cannot conceive that kind of distance, nor the amount of nothing that represents.

Between the stars there is darkness, and nothing but solitary loneliness. And yet we shine. We can appreciate the pinprick of light a distant star provides. We cast about, our so far fruitless search for life yielding no results. And yet we must continue. We must keep looking. We must continue the search.

The stars represent that untamed wild. With secrets, and passions yet undiscovered, a context for our world and for our place in all of this. Are we the first? The last? Are we weak? Are we mighty?

Should we fear the darkness? Should the darkness fear us?

Will I find god in that forgotten place between nothing and everything? Will I encounter a friend?

Will I discover that we are all that there is, a perfection of form and substance not yet seen, and never seen again?

I don't know. When I look up I can see the stars. If I look close enough I can see forever.

For me, that's enough.

I have thoughts sometimes that I try to put down on paper(or paper analogue). Figure this is as good a place as any to ramble, right?

More to come, maybe.

That was lovely. I recently acquired a good quality telescope. I finally realize what all the fuss is about with telescopes. It is truly transporting.

Great Bights Mum:

That was lovely. I recently acquired a good quality telescope. I finally realize what all the fuss is about with telescopes. It is truly transporting.

Click to expand...

Indeed. I still remember my first telescope when I was 10. I had been asking for it forever, but my parents were poor and I didn't think I'd ever get one.

Then one Christmas there it was. I didn't get any other presents that year(except for some clothes), but that telescope saw a lot of use.

In the Morning

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1 (The King James Version)

So I'm not a religious person. In fact, one could say I'm the exact opposite of religious. They use the word "atheist" but I've never been a fan of that word. It speaks to a kind of "anti-religion" that I just can't ascribe to. Religion isn't the problem, and faith is not a flaw.

I do not have faith. I look around me, and I see plenty of people with faith. Faith in god, faith in the government, even faith in their car.

I'm not agnostic. I don't believe in some power greater than myself. I believe in what I can see. My faith extends only far enough to confirm that reality is real, and that my senses are not being fooled. And I don't even take that for granted.

I'm skeptical of everyone and everything. The world to me is nothing but a giant question with no definite answers. And it is not a happy existence.

It's like there's something inside me that's missing. Something everyone else takes for granted. So I don't see faith as a flaw, I see it as a crucial component I'm lacking.

Somehow I've come to terms with that inherent brokenness. That lack of comfort. The belief, faith, and surety that comes with it... these are all lost to me. Probably forever.

I am broken inside.

And no matter how many times I ask, I cannot figure out why.

On my old blog when I played EVE, I used to pepper the thing with fiction. Figure I can do the same here as well. I wrote a few very brief short stories about the zombie event, which I posted to the zombie forums but I have no doubt they'll sink to the very bottom sooner rather than later. I had a little bit of fun with this one.

The Past:

The graves of my fathers had been disturbed. I'd had nightmares last night. Flashes of red and white skin. Gnashing of teeth and moans of pain. When I looked out the window to see the dirt spread out around the burial grounds, I knew that the ancient curse had returned. I'd read about this in the temple outside of town, and I knew I'd need to move fast to stay alive. I grabbed my sword, some water, and some bread from the larder. With any luck I could come back for more later.

The cows were mostly gone already. Their bodies were splayed with the ribcages upright. Animal after animal, eaten while alive.

I heard it before I saw it. The moan and shuffling walk. It was covered in blood and gore, but I raised my sword. As it neared, I felt something grab me from behind. I fell backwards to the ground as I skewered the beast in front of me.

I needed to take off the head. But whatever had grabbed me from behind wasn't interested in the little details. I felt a searing pain as it bit into my shoulder. The sun was high in the sky as I looked up, it got brighter all of a sudden, then it was as though the new moon had come.

It's not so bad really. A bit boring. I don't need to sleep anymore, so that's nice.

The Present:

Great the alarm is blaring again. If this is another one of those stupid drills I'm going to murder someone. I JUST WENT TO BED YOU SHITS. The protocols here are the best in the nation but if we have an escaped contagion our problems are way worse than some goddamned safety rules can account for.

Oh great, security is here to escort me to a holding area. I get it already... you want to move the high value person... HOLY SHIT. That guy's got his intestines on the outside of his fucking body.

Yeah and the security guy just lost a finger. I'm getting the fuck out of here. Yeah shoot it... that'll help you moron. There's gotta be something in my lab to help with this. It's obviously Z54. Looks like the field test got out of hand. Always does.

Alright, this is the cure. I'll just inoculate myself, then get out of here and develop more. Worst comes to worst, we'll have to rebuild. Oh, I could be queen.

Hey you dead head mother fuckers! How's that sound eh? QUEEN OF THE FUCKING ZOMBIES?

Oh you want a piece of me you piece of rotting flesh? Go ahead, I'm immune.

Fuck Fuck. It's dead from trying to bite me but I don't feel so good. I think I'm losing blood. I think I'm in some real fucking trouble here.

The Future:

John grabbed the handle of the capsule. His mind raced: How had they missed this thing? It's right outside the first major city on Athena! The one they'd founded three hundred years ago. And here's some random Pallusian object out in the open? Thirty million people and a spaceport were in walking distance of this thing and it never got discovered? What were the chances?

The smell from inside was musty. He'd heard of ancient burial chambers having a smell of death and dust, but he'd never gotten to experience it for himself. The historians and archeologists had never figured out what happened to the Pallusians five thousand years ago. John held out hope that this tomb held that secret.

"I'm going to be famous," John said to the air.

But, he wasn't alone it seemed. Right then he heard a knock to his left. It was slow, regular. He looked over and saw the door. It had a handle like the main capsule door. His hand shook as he reached for it, his flashlight wobbling.

And then he opened it. The darkness on the other side felt... real somehow. He had little time to contemplate that fact as a grinning face appeared and hands dragged him into the dark. As John felt the cold embrace of death, he smiled as well. The Pallusians weren't dead after all.

And neither was he.

Neither here nor there:

I live. I LIV*cough*

Hold on, I'll get this.

I LIVE.

I am Ch't'm'aak. I have lived for untold eons between the stars and now I come to your small world. I would not deign to speak to you except for this: your dead have called out to me, in their final moments. They do not wish to die.

They have spoken to me, and I have returned to pay their impertinence with my power. They shall live again. But know this: The price of this bargain is great. Those who are living must perish. In death your world will fade like the stars that came before it. Like the old gods whom I have slain. Your meager world will spin on in the void until your star consumes it, and no one will know your names.

The dead shall rise, the living shall perish and all will be made right in my eyes.

Ok, was that good? I gotta tell you, it's been a while since I did the whole zombie plague thing. It's really one of my favorite ways to end a world, ya know? Still on? We don't even use a microphone. WELL TURN IT OFF.