ARCHIVED: Most dangerous man in Grogeriovania(Everybody invited to join)

King Pyter

King Pyter

TNPer
(Crap I can't believe I made this while I was drunk).
Re-Edit:

King Petyr V looks down at the morning newpaper.
The October 21st edition of a popular Grogeriovanian reads; "The corpse escaped grasped of the authorities". Below it follows "Grogeriovania is in shock and horror as the most dangerous man in country, the infamous Eddrio 'The corpse' Palkovich, has escaped from a sting operation of the countries national police force. Police have issued...". King Petyr refused to read the other rest of the paper and looks at his minister of defense and the national chief of all armed forces who are directly in front of him.

"What the fu*# happened"? King Pyter calmy ask the two men.

"During our intrapment operation, we sorrounded he's house at the Lower Saradale area during midnight." He points at a location on the map placed in front of the frustrated king. "30 men to the north and west of his house and a small police boat at the Saradale stream in case he tried to escape there.When we breached the house, we found a tunnel that he dug, possibly for some time now, under his basement. Upon inspection the hole, we discovered that it lead to the Mayashka docks. We had our teams cordon and scour the area. We found no trace of Palkovich, your highness. He may have sneaked out into one of the cargo boxes and escaped the country your highness. At least that is what we suspect." Replies Yuri Stolattov, Chief of all armed forces of the country.

"By the fourteen Gods of Franco, you mean he escaped the country"! Shouts the King Petyr, slamming his fist on his desk.

"Possibly your emminence". Says Mr. Ian Sakkrokov, Minister of defense.

"Can we track him with the bar codes"? King Petyr ask, reffering to the bar codes implanted into every citizen of Grogeriovania for safe monitoring of its people.

Mr. Sakkrokov nods, "He burned it off his face sir, along with the tracking chip that accompanies it.

King Petyr looks sharply at Stolattov. "What are the armed forces doing about this little dilemma of ours"? He ask.

All available police officers have been deployed in search of the criminal and protecting our citizens your highness". Mr. Stollatov replies.

"What is our course of action then gentlemen"? King Pyter ask as he turns around and looks outside his window, looking at his nation.

Mr. Sakkrokov places an envalope on king Pyter's desk.
"We've already sent this messages to all countries in North Pacific plus 700 crappes inside an envalope your grace".

King Petyr turns back and grabs the envalope. He opens it and reads the letter inside it.

"To all nations of the North Pacific,

A dangerous criminal, Eddrio Palkovich, has escaped the country of Grogeriovania and maybe heading to one of yours. He's physical descriptions are that he is a 6ft. male caucasian with blonde hair and blue eyes, he was last seen wearing a black fedora hat, a gray coat and blue jeans. He's age is 65 years old. We advice that all nations be on full alert for this man is extremely dangrous. If possible we would like this criminal apprehended alive and be brought back to Grogeriovania to face Grogeriovanian justice and be sentenced to death.
His crimes include:

  • *Smuggling of improvised weapons(Namely wooden swords and cheese bombs)
    *Threatining an official.
    *Vandalism.
    *Public indecency.
    *Production of illigal goods.
    *Attemted murder.
    *Animal cruelty.
    *Loitering.
    *Arson.
    *Breaking and entering.
    *Public disturbance.
    *Resisting arrest.
    *Prostitution.
    *Consuption of three-eyed toads.
    *Possesion of plastic bags.
    *Possesion of 1960's pornograohy without a license.
    *Aggrevated assult and battery.
    *Overspeeding.
    *Burglary.
    *Conterfietting.
    *Plagarism.
    *Tax evasion .
    *Possesion of firearms without a permit.
    *Perjury.
    *Impersonation of a police officer.
    *Driving under the influence.
    *Copyright infriedgement.
    *Disorderly conduct.
    *Reckless driving.
    *Use of government vehicles without a permit.
    *Being disrespectful to the elderly without a permit.
    *Petty theft.

Again we advise extreme caution when apprehending this individual. The Kingdom of Grogeriovania will assist any nation in the pursuit of this criminal"

much love
Grogeriovania.

King Pyter looks at his the Minister of defense, supressing a smile.
"You don't know how to write a letter, don't you"? King Petyr ask.

"No sir" Mr. Sakkrokov answers.

"This are dark times gentlemen" King Petyr look's out of the window again. "Let's hope we this animal get's caught soon. You two are dismissed".

The two nod and walk out of the room, punching each other in the arm as they get out. King Petyr can only hope that the corpse could soon be caught and brought to trial.


Grogeriovania is asking for the assistance of any nation in the spprehension of Eddrio Palkovich. Any nation that does so will be rewarded by Grogeriovania for their efforts. All nations willing may join in the manhunt.
 
The man sits in front of King Infuschein, studying the man. The two men spend more than a minute quitely staring at each other. Finally sensing the king's uneasiness the man extends his hand. "I am Chief Inspector Hilando Dorez of the Grogeriovanian national police. I'm here to speak to you about a certain criminal we are after. He's name is Eddrio Palkovich known simply as 'the corpse' and he is wanted for more than a dozen crimes."
 
The inspector notices that the king is wearing a golden designer wrist watch. "I see you like the finer things in life your highness. Rolex watch, a necktie from Giovanni's summer collection and if I am not mistaken, that shirt if from Paulo Monroe's. What your wearing now must cost more than my whole salary in a year. Altough you are in a high ranking position, a position that sometimes require you to spend quite alot so that you might look respectable in the eyes of society. Yes, most men in power of today's materialistic age spend quite a lot to look respectable." The inspector senses the king's irritation and boredom and cuts to the chase. "You see your grace the man I'm after has a fondness for men in power. He likes men with seats of pwer with sharp suits and designer shoes. He's drawn to men such as yourself... sexually."
 
"I don't think you fully understand the situation here your grace. He wouldn't ask you to go on a date with, he would stalk you. He would follow you, study your every move, slowly building up your profile. Then once he knows your every move, your behavior, he will make hes move. You wouldn't know when he'll strike, the next thing you'll know is that you'll be in his love dungeon." The inspector places a folder in the king's desk. "Those are crime scene photos of his basement in his house in Gregoriovania. Those white spots all the around the room... they're not paint. He's already 'made aquintance' with our Minister of finance, a very famous t.v personality, a very wealthy t.v evangelist and several successful bussiness men in our country. He didn't kill them of course. Rather he had his way with them and then released them at public areas. We found our Minister of finance in front of a church wearing nothing but a thong. This is why he's named the most dangerous man in Gregoriovania. He's the most dangerous man in Gregoriovania if your rich, much of his other crimes were... fabricated to get support from the public. Now you may think that such as man as yourself man, a king, a monarch, have adequate means to protect yourself. Well I must imform you that your security is sadly lacking. Even I myself could have gotten into your office unnoticed and ubducted you without anybody noticing for some time. In fact..." The inspector pulls out a revolver from his pocket and places it in front of the king "The two 'royal guards' in front of your office were asleep. If the corpse was in your country your grace, it wouldn't be too difficult for him to enter this room right now."
 
"OK, first of all, what do you mean by 'could have gotten into my office unnoticed'? You did just get into my office unnoticed. Secondly, what do you mean I don't fully understand the situation? They're's a homosexual pervert after me who's gonna butt rape me, what's more to understand?"
 
"Don't you have any secrurity cameras in your..." The inspector looks around the room looking for any surveillance cameras. "Ohh... you don't." He said upon finding none. The inspector focuses his gaze at the King King Infuschein again. "I see that you do understand the gravity of this situation. Now my country is willing to help yours in the search for this criminal if you permit us. We send officers and members of the armed forces if necessary and we will provide your country important information to apprehend. This man must be caught for the sake of us all."
 
"I don't think my people will much like guards roaming the streets, thank you very much," [me]says as he flickers through a folder that was lying on his desk. He looks up at the man, half-expecting him to ramble on about how bad our security is again.
 
The inspector stands up. "I and my nation respects your decision your highness but if you ever require our assistance, we will be more than happy to help." He takes off his black leather glove and shakes the king's hand again. King Infuschein notices how pale the man's hand is. He turned back and walked out, leaving something with the sleeping gaurds.

A few hours later, the king's gaurds enter his office. "My liege, someone is here to see you."
 
Two men enter the room. They are both dressed in gray trench coats. The both bow before King Infuschein. "You're majesty, I am Gregor Krikov. An ambassador of Gregoriovania. This is my assistant, Hans Obermann, my assitant. We have been sent by the kingdom of Gregoriovania to discuss security matters with you."
 
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