The (Mis)Adventures of Bastarlaos and Parasius

(This is the first part of the new series "The (Mis)Adventures of Bastarlaos and Parasius". There will be a new chapter every week on Friday. Feel free to ask questions and make comments and criticisms. It helps me become a better writer, and helps to create a better story for you to enjoy. Note, I placed this here as an Arts thing... apologies if it's wrong.)


How the Hell was I here? How was I even alive? How was I still standing, amidst the rubble that signifies the calamity of this war? How, after all that has happened, from the sudden invasion of the lands that made up my home, to the bitter blitz that brought the very city I was in to its knees was I not dead? What was I doing at that moment with my rifle? Why was I even pointing it towards the woman on the ground in this absolutely annihilated buildi-

...Oh wait. I could answer those last two questions. She was an enemy of the state, and that was the bitch that started this whole war. Now I remembered. Well, that's two questions answered... now only a hundred more or so to go. I sighed and looked down at her. Well, I guess it's time for that dramatic end all speech that occurs at the bitter end when the hero takes down the villain once and for all.

...Though I wasn't sure if I was the hero or the villain in that case. Maybe both? Ah screw it, I don't really care anyways.

"So here we are." I began, with a smirk. "The war you began, with the intention of seizing everything that I worked for." I stepped back and stretched my arm, motioning towards the rubble that made up the Capitol building. If one looked closely, they could see tatters of paper that used to line the walls, splintered pieces of wood that was once part of picture frames that most likely held paintings and photographs of great moments and leaders of history, and shards of marble strewn about from what was once the flooring. "This is your prize. This is the fruits of your "labor". Your own capitol is in pieces. Rubble occupies the spaces where buildings once stood. The roads are littered with the blood of your people... all because you wanted a bit more cash for you damned empire." She slowly lifted her head and glared straight at me. As I looked down at her and met her gaze, I noticed mixed feelings of fear and fury in her eyes.

"This is of your own doing." She spat back, clearly infuriated. "Had you accepted my demands, this would not have happe-"

"Yes yes, clearly it's my fault that you started a war and underestimated the relations I maintain." I interrupted, pissing her off even further. "Of course, it's my fault as usual. Anyways... many have suffered for your actions. It will take quite some time to rebuild my own nation, let alone your own." I lifted my gun up to her head. She stared at me silently, her eyes daring me to take the shot. This was it, defining moment time. Let's see how it goes. I opened my mouth and asked the final question that would decide her fate.

"There's only one question that remains. Do you wish to surrender... or die?" She knew the consequences if she was to die now. Her people would suffer. Her nation would collapse. She would be condemning them to a death that would make my stomach churn, if my people had not suffered a brutal beating themselves. Before she spoke, I decided to add something on.

"By the way, I will shoot. I've no sympathy for you or your people. I offered peace, yet you refused. If you were to die now, it would make little difference." I leaned back against a large stone. From the looks of it, it most likely made up part of the ceiling of this building. Slowly, she looked up at the sky and mouthed a few words. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly. I cocked my rifle, knowing what her choice would be. No matter what, this war would be over. She opened her eyes, looked straight into mine, and uttered two words.

"...Surrender. Unconditional." I nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. I didn't need to kill her, and her nation could rebuild... hopefully with a fresh outlook on life. I would have shot her if I needed to, but thankfully that did not come to pass.

"Excellent. I have one more question for you then." I replied. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was the question. It would absolutely define my own fate, and would come to haunt me for years to come. It was the question I asked at that very moment that would shatter my world and change me in ways I could never understand at that time.

"Now that I've won... what do I do now?"

...It was also regarded as the dumbest question in history, hands down.

...Was he fucking kidding me?

Did... did he really ask that question?

Is he... actually an idiot?

Those were the three question running through my head after he uttered that absolutely stupid question. I was more than livid at that moment. I was hoping he was kidding, but when I looked into his eyes, he looked entirely lost and confused. Oh Seisal damn it, he was being serious. I lost to this guy!? I-

...Are you people seriously stuck on Seisal thing? It's God, okay? It means God. Stop making fun of my language and read the story.

I was utterly speechless. This guy had no idea what to do next, and his nation was supposed to be the weakest in the world! Yes, he was incredibly wealthy and yes, he had a lot of good friends, but he was weak! It should have been a four week conquest, maximum. Everyone said he was going to be a splendid little war! Instead, we got attacked by his fleet while we were landing, forcing us to redirect our naval air force to fight the enemy fleet. Then, he forced heavy casualties on the beaches themselves, reducing the morale. Finally, he engaged us all over his islands, with his armed forces weakening our own in hit and run attempts and actually stopping our advance twenty miles from his Capitol!

That was all in the first four weeks, before his allies declared war. On that day, what was supposed to be a "splendid little war" became the next chapter of what would become three years of bloody, brutal warfare. It would stretch from his homeland, to the outreaches of my empire, to his allies and my own, and finally, here in my home city. Over those three years, he fought me with his armies and with those of his allies, and personally fought me on the fields of battle. Ever since he halted the advance on his Capitol, he won all but one of our personal duels (I forced that exception to a draw), and a large majority of the battles that took place. After three years of vicious warfare, he clamped down on my foreign trade and his allies blockaded every port I owned. Needless to say, I lost...

...To this damned idiot. I snarled and sat up finally. I winced as I moved, in response to the pain within my chest. I probably smashed a rib or two in the final duel with him. It shouldn't send me into critical condition though. A bit of rest and my ribs should heal. The rest of my wounds will take a long while though... as my country rebuilt, I would recover.

...Before you ask, magic. Before you ask, one of the perks of being a personification. Before you ask, I'll explain what a personification is. Basically, we represent nations and stereotypes of its people in a humanoid form. We act like normal people and do things like normal people... sort of. There are a few differences however. We can't die as easily as normal people. We usually recover from wounds and diseases faster, depending on the political, economic, and social stability of the nation of the personification. If any of these three areas are unstable, the personification's health will be severely affected. At the moment, I was politically and economically unstable. I would absolutely recover, because I needed to. If I didn't recover, and I did die... the nation would plunge into chaos and more people would die, until a new personification rose up to take my place. Given the circumstances, I wasn't sure my replacement would reflect my ideals.

The problem was that he now held my future in his hands. He could kill me off accidentally... and given the question he just asked, that was most likely scenario.

"Seriously?" I exclaimed in response to the question. "I... that's ridiculous. Have you ever done this before?" He glared at me and shook his head.

"No... because people don't attack me randomly without cause... or burn half my nation to a fucking crisp." He replied, clearly annoyed. I gritted my teeth in return. This dumbass... he held my fate. There was no way I could survive with him around. I'd surely die with him at the helm.

...Or would I? He doesn't know anything about war settlements or about the peace process. He doesn't know that I've demanded some pretty sadistic stuff in war settlements. This could be a chance to get out of this mess and lose very little in the process! All I need to do is just keep my mouth shu-

"Hm... I don't know anything about war settlements and the like. What did you do when you defeated other nations?" Shit. It was like he was reading my mind or something. I bit my tongue and sighed. I needed to lie... I needed to lie. If I didn't, then I'd be in pretty deep water.
"Uh... well..." I stammered, trying to regain my footing in this conversation. "I uh, demanded things. Yeah. That's what I did." He raised an eyebrow and I smiled politely. It really burned to smile at this guy. I truly despised him, but I needed to play nice for now.

"Well?" He asked, motioning with his hand for me to continue. "Go on. What did you demand?" I looked up at the sky for a few moments as I thought. It was really a nice day out... this wasn't the kind of day I expected to lose a war on. Better start rattling things off, before he gets impatient.

"...Uh, lemme think... money?"

"You invaded me for profit in the first place. I'll return to normal economic growth quite quickly."

"How about... art and culture?"

"That's definitely not enough for what you caused."

"...Forced treaty of friendship?"

"Why do I want to be friends with you?" I blinked and growled at him in exchange.

"Because I'm a powerhouse of course!"

"Clearly not, since you got your ass kicked." I actually began to snarl at him at that moment. How dare he insult my nation's power! I should beat the ever loving snot out of him for that comment... but I don't have time to start an argument. I needed to think of something and fast. Slowly, I started to realize that my options were severely limited. At this point, there was only one thing I could do. I gulped and looked down as I thought about the idea. I didn't like it at all. I actually hated it.

I had no choice though... it was them or me.

"Then... the dismantling of my empire." I said in resignation. "I'll lose every colony I own and let them go fre-"

"Wait. You had colonies? From winning wars?"

"...Yes..."

"You can do that!?" I gaped at him in shock. Was he messing with my head!? Did he actually not know this, or was he being sarcastic? I mean from the look on his face, it seemed genuine. That was... really concerning. Eventually, I closed my mouth and shook my head with a sigh.

"No shit you could do that. That's War Settlements 101. Did you really not know thi- why are you smirking?" I was telling him off for his lack of knowledge when I realized he was beginning to smirk. Why though? What could be his rationale for smirk-

...Oh no. Oh Seisal, please no. I shook my head slowly and pleaded with my eyes as I realized what was running through his mind. Damn it, don't do it. Please don- OH COME ON! He started nodding in exchange and his smirk seemed to grow brighter.

"Please. Not that. Anything but that." I pleaded, tears running to my eyes. "I... I'll become a laughing stock. Not that... please." He shrugged and grinned in return. My heart sank as he began to speak.

"Then you should have thought of the consequences before starting this whole war."

"Look... I fucked up. I'm sorry. Please. I can't do that... anything you want, but that." I got on my knees and started to beg. "Please... don't make me a colony! Anything but that!" He stared at me curiously for a moment, clearly deep in thought. For a moment, we stared at each other, and the entire area seemed to go quiet. If it wasn't for the debris and blood, this would have been a lovely moment to relax. Finally, he blinked and sighed.

"Honestly? I didn't think I could make you a colony... good to know though, thanks!" He smiled sweetly and I just stared in utter dismay. "I think that's what I'll do... actually, that's what my plan is."

If he was an idiot, then I was absolutely a full blown dumbass.

---

I gotta say, for a powerful imperialist nation, she sure liked to talk a lot. Then again, her people were renowned for their oration... and for not knowing when silence is desired. Even further, she was giving me answers and advice (albeit accidentally) that really benefitted me, at her own expense. I went from letting her off with a warning to actually engaging in imperialism and conquest by turning her into a colony. There would definitely be a few issues raised at home by Congress, but popular sentiment would most likely lean for this idea. I watched as she began to tear up and shudder in fear.

"Aw... what's wrong?" I asked in a mocking tone. "Are you mad that you screwed yourself over?" She looked up at me angrily, but still crying.

"Sh-Sh-Shut up!" She stammered with annoyance. "I...I'm... just shut up!" She sniffled and looked down at the ground. I would feel bad for her, but she did destroy half of my nation in the war and it took a long time to rebuild some of it... especially in a wartime economy. She was gonna pay, big time.

"Well well... so nothing to say." I retorted, grinning triumphantly. "That's quite alright." I sat down on the piece of rubble I was leaning and watched her cry some. Slowly, she began to look upwards towards the sky. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were flushed. Damn... she was quite upset.

"This... this isn't fair!" She cried out. "I was supposed to win, not him! Why did you abandon me Seisal!?" Seisal? Who the Hell was that? Perhaps... it was an old lover of hers or an officer in her armed forces? That's something of interest. I would definitely have a look later on.

"Now... I'm this bastard's colony! I was the one doing the whipping and chaining! ME! Now, he's gonna do the same to me, and force me to do disgusting things for his amusement!"

...

...

What the Hell? In The Writer's (God's) name... what was she blabbering about? I watched as she looked straight at me with anger and sorrow... which suddenly evaporated when she saw the blank look that reflected in a cracked mirror behind her. Confusion and intrigue instantly took center stage in her eyes, and she raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Um... is something wrong?" She asked me with what sounded like sincerity in her voice. I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out for a moment. I... I was still trying to understand what the Hell she just said. That... was really weird.

"...Uh..." I finally croaked out, prompting her eyebrow to rise slightly. "Nothing... at all?"

...I guessed her perceptions of colonialism were slightly- just possibly slightly... and by that I mean incredibly- different from my own.

I never realized how dusty this place actually was until just last week. Then again, this was the old Imperial Capitol Building, and it hasn't been entered in a long time. I sneezed suddenly and watched as some of the dust in the small office flew around the room. He gave me a funny look and I shrugged.

"The… the dust." I stammered. "It's messing with me. Sorry." He simply nodded and went back to typing as quickly as possible. I watched him for a moment, once again enraptured by the speed and efficiency that he typed the spreadsheets for the budget. Eventually, he slowed down and looked up at me with a look of confusion and a hint of annoyance. I mumbled an apology, looked down at my laptop, and got right back to work.

Over the past week, I've been working with the very person that I was ultimately fighting against to rebuild my once proud nation. This was the guy who somehow, against all odds and predictions, beat me back in his homeland, got other nations to support him in his war, and ultimately crushed me on all levels. To say that I was mortified would be the understatement of the century at this point, because to lose to this guy… well, I was partially glad he let me continue to run my mouth a week ago, or I would have certainly died by now.

I slowly stopped typing and looked out the window of the small office. Outside it was a fairly sunny day. There were a few clouds in the sky yes, but the sun was shining through them quite strongly. The winds were gently blowing, causing the trees to rustle and causing a few small petals to fall from the trees. It was definitely a wonderful day, one that could inspire some form of hope when all else is lost.

It was in definite contrast to a week ago, when I couldn't feel anything but despair.

---

As I slowly lifted my rifle up towards the sky, I looked her over rather quickly. It seemed she was somewhat wounded from our fight. Given that she was going to be my colony, I really couldn't have that. Slowly, I walked towards her and she started to snarl at me, much to my annoyance. I pointed the gun at her head and she suddenly went quiet. Her blue eyes were glaring daggers at my own eyes in an attempt to force me back, but I wouldn't have any of it. I needed to make sure she wasn't terribly injured before I did anything else.

"Just hold still damn it." I muttered. "I'm not going to hurt you." Slowly, I put down my gun behind me and started to look over her. She was definitely quite a mess. Her blonde hair was stained with blood from her guards and my comrades. Shards of glass lay buried throughout her left arm, and blood slowly trickled down to form a tiny pool near her fingertips. As I pressed on her wrist a bit, she started to hiss in pain. Quickly, I yanked my hand away and sighed. Her wrist was definitely broken.

"Right or left?" I asked, making eye contact with her again. Her right eyebrow quirked and she sent me a confused look. I sighed and rolled my eyes in exchange, then added "I mean do you write with your right hand or your left?"

"Oh…" She replied. "Right hand… it should be fine." I nodded and checked her right arm. It did seem to be in immensely better shape than her left. She flicked her right wrist left and right to show me that her arm was fine. Good… that means less work for me. Slowly, my eyes made their way down her legs. They were cut up pretty bad from the fall she took down the stairs. Eventually, my eyes made their way up to hers.

As I thought it over, I realized that this was the first time ever that I actually got a good look at her. Usually, I was too busy trying not to get shot or stabbed in battle to take the time to look. Looking over her now, she still looked pretty damn young. Even though we were both almost entering our fifties, we seemed to look like we were still in our early twenties. I guess we could thank whatever spiritual personification force that affects us for that… or in this case, curse it.

"You got cut up pretty bad." I finally said. She glanced at me with annoyance and rolled her eyes as I shrugged. "Hey, I'm just pointing out the obvious. At any rate, I suggest making your way outside towards the street. There should be a few vehicles right outside. Have my soldiers bring you to one of the vehicles so you can be brought to one of our field hospitals." I stood up, brushed off some of the dust from my uniform and stretched a bit. I watched as she slowly stood up and gave me a strange look in response.

"…What are you going to do?" She asked. I actually hadn't thought about that much honestly. However, I really didn't want to tell her that because she would start rambling on about how I knew nothing about war and how it was a shock that I beat her (which it was quite honestly) and yadda yadda. So… what was I going to do then?

"Probably look around a bit." I suddenly blurted out without thinking. Idiot did you really… ugh. I looked away and bit on my tongue. After a few seconds of doing so I turned back towards her and added "Then I'll probably head back home to oversee festivals and the like." I looked her in the eyes an-

Oops. Maybe I should have said something else.

"WHAT!?" She cried out, exploding with energy. I stumbled back as she went from nearly quiet and hesitant to brash and BEYOND furious. I gulped as she marched over to me and actually started to shake me by my shoulders.

"After all of this, you're just going to leave me like this!? You actually think this is some kind of joke!? You can't just leave a colony in this state! I WOULD DIE WITHIN A WEEK YOU STUPID FUCKING FAILURE OF A COLONIZER!" I blinked, pushed her back, and stumbled away. She hissed again, and gripped her left wrist. I took a deep breath and stared at her with incredulity. This girl… was absolutely a nightmare. She was the bane of my existence for the past three years; destroying my economy and ruining the lives of many of my civilians with her stupid rationale for war… since when does "red eyes; therefore inferior personification" work for a casus belli anyways? I sighed and glared at her. I hated this girl, but if I was going to rebuild and force her to suffer, I needed her help ironically.

"Okay then." I replied softly. In an instant, her entire temper defused and she simply stared in shock.

"…O…Okay?" She croaked out after an agonizing moment of silence. "I shake you and you say… okay?" Slowly, I nodded and she threw her hands up. "Are you an idiot!? You're supposed to punish me for insolence! You're doing this all wro-"

"No, we're doing this my way." I responded in a harsh tone. "That means, put up and tell me what you need me to do so we can get you back on track, or shut up and DIE." I couldn't help but smirk a bit as she dropped her hands to her sides and simply blinked in return. For a moment, we stared at each other, neither of us uttering a word. I issued her a challenge and she knew that she lost.

"…Troops." She finally whispered. I folded my hands and tilted my head slightly. I was about to tell her to speak up when she suddenly added "You need troops… or, you need to put troops in different places. Also, a provisional government needs to be set up while in the process of rebuilding. This is of course after I sign the peace treaty that states my unconditional surrender. Once we sign the treaty and set up a government, we need to begin caring for the wounded and dismantling any rebel forces that could begin terrorist attacks in my lands. Also, you need to look over my colonies and prepare them for independence and start rebuil- what the Hell is wrong with you?"

Slowly, I blinked and looked down at my hand. Oh… it was twitching. No control over that or my mind it seems… great. I looked back up at her and felt my mouth quiver. Every moment I tried to utter a sound, nothing but wind seemed to come out. My entire brain was scrambled from that list…

Oh Writer, help me.

"…You've never done this before ever, have you?" She asked me nonchalantly. I shook my head and she hung hers in return. This… was going to be a long week.

---

"Hey. Snap out of it." I blinked and jumped with a start. Quickly, my head spun towards him and I gulped. Damn it, I must have dozed off or something. He was looking at me with those demonic red eyes that I came to hate over the past three years of war. Slowly, I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. As I did, I felt a sudden burst of pain rush from my wrist all the way up my arm, prompting me to wince a bit. I mumbled, then started to think over this past week.

After the whole discussion over what he would do (and realizing he had ZERO knowledge on how to run a defeated nation turned colony), I got him to accept my assistance in starting to rebuild in the postwar. We decided to rush over to the field hospital to get my wounds checked out and my wrist in a cast; then I convinced him to spend a week working in the old Imperial Palace south of our location. I expected him to let me do a lot of work and make it completely easy for me to incite a rebellion…

Except, that's not what happened at all. Actually, he scolded me when I tried to reduce his military numbers, return my old leaders to the provisional government, AND give me a lot of autonomy. Needless to say, he may suck at running a colony or properly ending a war, but he wasn't a complete idiot. At least he knew to keep a good amount of troops in my lands and that letting old leaders into the government was a very terrible idea. Still, I tried to push him on both, but when he pointed out that he was the one holding all the cards, I ended up folding.

"If you're going to stare out a window, you might as well hand off the work to someone else." I blinked and looked back at him. He closed his laptop, opened his eyes, and stared at me with annoyance.

"Actually, my stuff is done." I said, slightly irritated. Without thinking, I tossed over the folder to him and yelped. Thankfully, he caught it without the papers falling out, but he gave me a dirty look right afterwards.

"Okay then…" He said as he skimmed through the folder. "It seems to be in order and the like. I'll run this by my staff later." He closed it and looked up at me again. "Now… what do we do about you?"

Oh shit. I felt my heart start to beat faster at that very instant. My right hand started to shake fast, and I felt a chill rush down my spine. This… this was fear. This must be what absolute fear is. I committed some pretty awful acts in the war, and even the war itself was based on a casus belli of utter bullshit and imperialism. I was going to pay, and I knew I deserved every bit of it.

…That won't stop me though. None of that… will stop me from fighting! I stood up dramatically and threw my chair to the side. Quickly, he stood up as well, his black hair swaying with the abrupt motion. We stared each other down silently, neither of us having the guts to make the first move. Finally, I took a deep breath and started to speak.

"You… may have won. You may have beaten me in this nightmarish war. You may be high and mighty right now, but damn it you won't be for long." I took a step forward, and cracked my neck. He took a step forward and eyed me with caution.

"I don't care what you do to me… you can beat me, whip me, do unmentionable things to me. Mark my words right now. I, Parasi Vymona, personification of the Parasius Empire, will take any brutality you give me. You can break my mind and body… but you will never break the spirit of the people! They will rise up and they will defeat you, no matter the cost!" I whipped my head to the right across in a dramatic sweep and grinned. "DON'T YOU THINK OTHERWISE, BECAUSE I PROMISE YOU RIGHT NOW… that I have no idea why you're just standing there staring at me blankly."

Literally, that was what he was doing. His mouth was again wide open, his eyes just… blank? That… that's new. I don't think I ever saw anyone stare blankly like that before after a speech like that. I felt my grin evaporate and the fear and confidence running up and down my spine just seemed to suspend itself suddenly. I was beyond confused-

…Oh… wow. I just… I just gave him permission to…

"…I…" He finally croaked out, after a very long and uncomfortable silence. "I… think… I think we should um… rethink colonialism in general. Also… we should probably uh… get you help for your masochism." I couldn't even start yelling at him again. I just… I…

"…I think… you might be right." That was all I could say in return. Slowly, we took a step back from each other and looked away. I felt my cheeks light up with a burning sensation. I didn't really know what it was, nor could I care. Slowly, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and noticed his cheeks were turning red. Was… was he blushing? I blinked and whipped my head straight towards him.

"…Are you blushing!?" I cried out with annoyance. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and whistled. "You are! What the hell! That's how colonialism works you moron. You're supposed to be the big bad conqueror who takes what they want and-"

"I don't want to be the big bad conqueror though."

…What. I watched as his cheeks slowly returned to the paleness they were before. He gradually turned his head, and I noticed the soft look in his eyes. I was beyond livid now. He... he wasn't following protocols!

"But, this is tradition. All conquerors are big and evil." I retorted, letting my anger show. "You can't go breaking the tradition of the past like that and expect people not to say something!" I noticed his eyes start to harden and I watched as he started to show his teeth in anger. I gulped and hesitantly stepped back.

"Guess what? Too fucking bad. I'm in charge of you now Ms. Vymona, and I say we're not doing that."

"But you can't-"

"DROP IT." I suddenly shut my mouth and squirmed a bit under his glare. This was entirely new… I never saw this from him before. I opened my mouth to object, but he forced it shut by adding "I don't give a shit what tradition you or your cronies followed. I don't play by those rules because pillaging your lands isn't profitable at all… and this is about profit. If I simply exploited your lands, I'll end up having to deal with the instability and uprisings. There would be no way for me to make any money under those circumstances, and your people would end up suffering."

I knew what he meant by profit. My homeland was quite modernized and rich with a good few resources. Under the High Lord, we had become a massive Empire. The lands we seized were never truly developed, only exploited for materials. That was how colonialism worked, and that was how everyone did it for as long as any personification could remember.

Even with tradition, he didn't give two shits about exploitation of resources it seemed. Over the past week, I watched as he introduced legislation to his Congress for financial assistance to my homeland, began setting aside his own resources to aid in reconstruction, and clashed with his own leader over the lack of initial profit with his plan. He even convinced his own government to give my people a major tax break for the next two years. It didn't make any sense and I thought he was completely nuts…

But no. I finally saw it. I could finally see why he was one of the wealthiest nations in the world… and I could see that he intended to profit off of my survival and economic upturn.

"…Okay." I finally said. "I… I'll let it go." He nodded and for the first time, I finally saw a warm smile grow on his face. I felt a knot in my stomach at the smile. It wasn't that it was a creepy smile or anything, but it was just so… sincere.

"Excellent. Since we're more or less finished with all the primary business, I believe we need to focus on you now." He responded. "As I was trying to ask earlier… where do you plan on staying?" I blinked and raised an eyebrow. Now I was slightly suspicious.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked him, hoping to get more info. He sighed and looked out the window. That was not a good sign clearly if he sighed like that. For a moment, he was silent. I started to absentmindedly tap my foot, hoping he would pick up the pace.

"I heard rumors floating about." He replied almost suddenly. I blinked and took a step closer to him.

"What kind of rumors?" I was now starting to panic. He looked over at me with a look of fear in his eyes, and that made me gulp in return.

"Some of your old Imperial advisors seemed to be on the prowl… looking for you." What? How… why were they looking for me!? What did I do? "Apparently, they're mad that you 'betrayed them' and surrendered like a smart personification, rather than fight to the death like a dumbass and leave your people to suffer miserably." I was beyond livid. This couldn't actually be happening. I opened my mouth to speak, and then closed it as I looked around the room wildly.

"…So what are you saying?" I eventually asked, unable to really say anything else. He looked at me and shrugged. I didn't like where this was going one bit…

"I know you can do more to help with the rebuilding if you come with me to my nation personally Ms. Vymona. It's an odd thing to do, but it may be easier and safer for you if you were closer to the political centers of the nation."

…NOPE. DID NOT LIKE. I scoffed and started to laugh. He totally made up that angry mob rumor just to scare me into going with him. Well I knew better than to let him scare me. I smirked and shook my head.

"Nice try, but I know better. I'd rather stay here than go with the likes of you!" I watched as he returned my smirk and started to walk towards the door.

"Okay then. Have fun handling that angry mob of former officials!" I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. Like he'd scare me with that stor-

…What the Hell were those small lights? Why were they cluttered together? Why could I hear what sounded like angry shouting and possibly chanting? What purpose were those people clothed in tuxedos, ties, and-

…Oh. Fuck. You. Seisal.

"WAIT!" I screamed, running after him, folder in hand. "I CHANGED MY MIND! DON'T LET ME DIE!" I leaped down the large regal staircase, bolted past the two guards standing in front of the double doors to the Palace, and towards the black car that he was walking into. He stopped as my footsteps clambered down the front steps and stepped to the side. I stopped right in front of him and watched as he gracefully extended his hand, motioning me to enter the car. I nodded and quickly got in the car. I heard a chuckle, and then he got in next to me and closed the door.

"Driver. To the airport, and step on it." In an instant, the car started to zoom down the street. I wheezed for a moment and then sat back in the leather seat.

"Thanks… um…" I forced out, still gasping for air. "Uh… uh…"

"…Uh what?" He asked me, quirking an eyebrow. Oh, this was going to suck.

"...What was your name again?"

The car screeched to a stop almost instantly. My head smashed against the front seat and I groaned in pain. Slowly, I sat up and looked over at hi-

…Uh oh.

"…You fought me… for three fucking years." He said, staring at me in shock. "You… don't even know my name?" I smiled sheepishly in exchange, knowing full well I was more or less screwed. For a moment, I expected him to toss me out of the car and leave me to burn. However, he snapped his fingers a few times and the car started moving again.

"…It's Bastavo. Bastavo Arenado of the Bastarlaos Federation." I nodded and watched as he simply looked out his window. Wait… Bastarlaos? I smirked and chuckled."

"So could I call you bastar-"

"Finish your question and I'll toss you out of the car." I grinned deviously and sighed. This wasn't the best situation I could be in…

But… maybe this wasn't going to be THAT awful. Who knows, I could end up picking up something good from all of this.

Chapter 3: Rich Man's Paradise​

Bastavo Arenado

Ugh. Planes are evil.

Quickly, I made my way off the jet. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was able to hold for the damn four hour ride too! If it wasn't for that sudden deer rushing by, we wouldn't have had to jerk upwards... oh Writer help me, thinking about that was making me sick. As I frantically scanned the gate, I spotted a potted plant. Well, not the best, but it'd have to do. I rushed over as quickly as possible...

YES! I JUST MADE IT! I puked into the potted plant and groaned in pain. The damn acidic taste in my mouth wasn't helping my situation at all. My stomach was writhing in pure agony with the sudden expulsion of its contents and I felt my knees finally give way. I sunk down onto my knees and moaned again.

"You have got to be kidding me." I spat a bit to get whatever was left in my mouth and slowly turned my head to the left. Ms. Vymona was standing over me, shaking her head in disbelief at my current situation. I rolled my eyes, wiped my mouth with my right hand and stood up. I instantly regretted doing so, because now I was going to have to wash my hand off. Ah well. Slowly, I lowered my hand and finally gave her my attention.

"No Ms. Vymona. I'm not kidding you." I replied, slightly aggravated. She winced as I called her by her last name, then started to smirk.

"First off, just call me Parasi. It would be easier for both of us." I simply nodded and she sighed with relief. "Honestly, it makes me sound like an old woman, and I'm not THAT old just yet. Besides, we're the same age more or less... you're fifty three, right?" I blinked and threw my hands up with annoyance. She quirked an eyebrow and I just rolled my eyes in return.

"You remember my damn age but not my name!? What the Hell!" I sputtered, even more annoyed than before. She grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

"Well... I was planning on changing your name, so I didn't bother to learn it." Oh gee, that made me feel a shit ton better. I actually considered changing her own name in retribution, but I wasn't really in the mood to be a complete hardass today. As I was running through my thought process (and potentially mean names to call her) she pressed on to her second point.

"Second, you're actually afraid of planes? I thought you were kidding about that!" I looked up at her with irritation and groaned.

"Yes. I'm sorry I'm afraid of falling from a thin piece of fucking metal that flies on the damn air 10,000 meters above that giant water hole of death we call the Balacios Ocean." I retorted with the utmost sarcasm. "I'm sorry tha- why are you giving me that look?" The look I was referring to was the one very similar to my own about a week ago when she referenced the whole whipping and chaining scenario... with the disgusting acts and the... um...

Wow this girl seriously had issues. At any rate, she was giving me THAT look (which for future reference, we will call the "What The Fuck" Look) and I couldn't really understand why. I didn't really say anything that bad. Yes, perhaps my phobia of flight is somewhat irrational to some, but it never caused that reaction.

Of course, I should learn not to assume such things, because she made it quite clear what her issue was right then and there.

"Uh, what the Hell is a meter?" She asked me.

...Oh you have got to be kidding me.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked, starting to laugh. "You gotta be. Come on, that's pretty damn funny. You of all people know what a meter is! You're a former empire, of course you do!" I continued laughing and finally looked up at her eyes for confirma- OH WRITER DAMN IT SHE REALLY WASN'T KIDDING! I suddenly stopped laughing and stared in shock at this revelation. How could she not know what a meter was? Wasn't she one of the former world superpowers or something!?

"You're... you're not kidding." I concluded. She simply nodded and I slapped myself in the face with my palm (known in my nation as a "facepalm"). I murmured and slowly, let the sting from my hand resonate across my entire face. I was really annoyed at this point. In the Writer’s name, this would be a lot more work than I expected. Was she truly worth keeping around?

No. She was. She had a pretty large economy by herself. With a bit of time and a lot of work, I could take advantage of the reconstruction and benefit by the expansion of corporations based in my own nation. It would definitely take time, but I also know I had no choice in the matter. If I let her go now, she would rise again and seek revenge upon me. I knew full well I couldn't take a second war. I needed to just get through this the best I could and pray to the Writer I profit from this.

"Alright." I said, motioning with my hands to put emphasis on what I was saying. "We can work with this. You'll need to start transitioning over to the new measurement system so we could better rebuild the colony. What system are you using currently?"

"The Imperial system." She replied, to my utter horror. "You know, with feet, inches, and-"

"OH PLEASE NO, NOT THAT." I cried out in agony, throwing my hands up. "That system makes ZERO sense whatsoever! We NEED to switch you over as quickly as possible. I'll help you along, but that system needs to go." I watched as she blinked in surprise, and then sighed.

"Okay, then we'll start switching." I breathed a sigh of relief at the agreement. "I assume you'll do the same with education in the colony?" I nodded and she sighed. "I figured. Alright, then we'll go with that."

"Great!" I said with a big grin. Metric beat Imperial any day. It always made more sense anyways. 12 inches for one foot, yet three feet for a yard!? How stupid! "Now, I'm going to run off to the bathroom to wash off my hand. Go get our luggage and I'll meet you near the car!" I started to walk off and I heard a cry of distress. Quickly, I spun around and barely had time to respond to her grabbing my shoulders. Instantly, she started to shake me in anger.

"IDIOT! Which way do I go!?" She yelled at me. I watched as a few people eyed me warily as they stopped and watched the spectacle. Oh great. Now I was in the public's eye yet again, and that was a place I always HATED to be.

"It's called READ!" I responded in annoyance. "Now stop shaking me and stop causing a damn scen- oh shit." She stopped suddenly and stared at me in confusion to my sudden shock. Quickly, the crowd of people that were behind her moved to the sides to make way for four men in black suits...

And one woman in a blue suit right in the center. Murmurs immediately broke out and suddenly, we had a near riot right on our hands. Everyone was trying to rush towards her, hoping to get her autograph. The four men in black suits quickly started to push the crowd back. Riot police instantly burst onto the scene, flanking both sides of her in an effort to calm the crowd and keep the woman safe. I was in utter awe. Why was she of all people here? Surely she hadn't meant to come meet us in person! Perhaps she had meant to meet us here. Perhaps she did learn that I kept Parasi alive against the wishes of the people. The moment I saw the look in her eyes, I knew I was about to pay up.

"...M...Ma'am..." I stammered, unable to say anything else. I looked at Parasi in utter fear. She was fairly confused at what I meant, until she heard a cough behind her. Slowly, she pulled me towards her and leaned her head next to mine. I could see the rising panic in her eyes and if I listened close enough, I could almost hear her heart beat faster.

“Who's behind me?" Parasi whispered, clearly hoping that the answer wasn't what it obviously was. I gulped and tried not to flinch under the woman's cold gaze.

"Your new boss." I mumbled quietly. I saw the faint glimmer of hope vanish from her eyes as it gave way to a look of doom and despair. Being in my land is very different from being in hers. Here, no one cared for her, but then again, her people were pretty pissed too.

I guess it didn't matter where Parasi went. She was-

---

Parasi Vymona

Absolutely fucked. Oh Seisal, I am beyond screwed at this point. There was no way I was going to get out of this moment alive. I was stuck in an airport of my former enemy and my new er... I guess "boss" or "owner". The point was I was surrounded by the enemy. People were beyond furious with me here and they had a right to be. I caused devastation here on a massive level and the fact I wasn't really spotted until now was a blessing.

By this point, the crowd had calmed down and stopped trying to rush whatever was behind me and me. Everyone wanted to see what would happen next. The entire airport had more or less gone silent, waiting on my next few words. It was time to face the music.

"...What do I do?" I whispered to Bastavo, hoping he'd have an answer. All I received in return was a look of utter despair and hopelessness. Damn it, thanks a lot Bastard. Way to have my back. Slowly, I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst. I released his shoulders and then turned around to face the President of the Bastarlaos Federation.

Wow. She was REALLY pissed. I stared at her silently and looked over her features. For a woman in her late twenties, she was pretty damn smart... looked good too. Her brown eyes complimented her auburn hair quite nicely. Actually, it reminded me a lot of the nice fall colors at the old park in Nysama (the former Imperial Capitol). I used to go to that park all the time before I became a massive powerhouse, but I guess I just lost the time to do so. Her slender figure seemed to match my own. How she stayed in shape and commanded an economic superpower was beyond me. Speaking of exercise, I really needed to get back into the whole military jogging thing. Maybe they had a place here fo-

"Well?" She finally asked, clearly as antagonistic as possible. "We're waiting." I scanned around the crowd and realized the looks were the same. Everywhere I looked, I only saw anger and sadness. Not a single friendly face was in this mob. They wanted my head, and I realized that this was going to be where I would die. How ironic... the place I invaded would become the very tomb that seals my fate.

"This is more or less my fault." In a sudden instant, anger turned to utter shock as those words were uttered. I stood there, reeling at the words. My ears perked up as footsteps slowly closed the distance behind me, and then I watched as Bastavo surpassed me. He stopped a few steps in front of me and smirked. I was utterly confused. Why was he coming to my aid? For what purpose would he say that?

"Really now?" The woman in the blue suit retorted, crossing her arms. "Explain then why you felt the need to bring this MENACE back to our lands!" Suddenly, the crowd burst in anger and fury, with chants starting all around me. I looked back over at him, and watched with shock as he crossed his own arms and continued to smirk.

"I decided to bring her back with me for my own research." He simply replied. Research? What... what research?

"Research?" She asked, clearly intrigued. I listened as he chuckled and felt a chill rush down my spine.

"Yes. Research, observation, and some other third word I can’t think of. I want to see if it is possible to change her people, which have suffered under imperial rule for quite some time, from utterly hating us to actually enjoying our company." I furrowed my eyebrows at him in utter annoyance. Suffering under imperial rule? That's a load of bull! My Emperor was a nice person to the people that came to visit him at his lavish parties!

...Oh. He meant the lower classes. Okay, I actually couldn't argue with that one. I took a step forward and for some stupid, unknown reason, opened my fat mouth once more.

"Look. I know I did terrible things, and-"

"YOU KILLED MY SON YOU DEMON!" One woman cried out. From that one response, another round of chanting and shoving began, with riot police beginning to falter.

"Mr. Arenado. I do not agree with your stance on this matter. Quite frankly, I see no reason why she even needs to be kept alive. She started this war... and as such, she will have to pay the price." I sighed and looked down towards my shoes. I was beyond miserable now. I had no home, no one to turn to, and everyone wanted my head on a platter. There was only one thing I could hope on to turn this situation around, and the chance of that happening was one in a million. I knew the truth of the matter, but clearly they would never listen to the enemy. I brought them pain; they had no reason to keep my alive.

"...But she can't be at fault Ma'am. She had no power to begin with."

OH SEISAL, THANK YOU! I hid my feelings of euphoria and extreme relief as people started screaming at Bastavo again. From the different cries, I could hear anguish and outrage at his statement. I myself was completely stunned into silence. I watched as he simply sighed and pulled out a few papers from his bag.

"Get this. She had ZERO power in the government. In fact, she only ran a single battalion and is involved in all imperial festivities." He handed the paperwork to the woman and quickly, she read it over. "She was barred from any other power. Therefore, she was only following orders." I quirked an eyebrow as he spoke about my role in the Imperial government. He was making it sound like a personification could even be part of the government. That didn't really seem possible... come to think of it, that was a pretty ridiculous notion.

"I see." That was all the President of the Federation said in return. Slowly, her eyes looked up at me, then back at Bastavo, and finally back at me. "So, what do we do with her?" The crowd had gone silent again, as the information about my lack of involvement began to settle into place.

"I was thinking that over during the past week I was there. I was thinking that she could serve as a colonial adviser of sorts. She would know a lot more about her geopolitics and her own lands than us, so that could be of use." I stepped back in fear of the crowds and expected them to start up again. Instead, all I heard was murmurs and whispers. I wasn't sure if that scared me more or if that was somewhat of a relief. Slowly, my attention returned to the woman in the blue tuxedo and I watched her sigh.

"I'm still not fully convinced, but fine. I, President Julia Williams of the Bastarlaos Federation, hereby appoint Ms. Parasi Vymona as the official Colonial Advisor of the Parasian Colonial State. Now then, can we get moving? I'm getting tired of standing around." I watched as Bastavo nodded and motioned for me to follow with his head. I nodded, looked down and briskly followed him. I wasn't sure if I was completely glad to be saved now, but maybe I'd have my chance at redemption with someone.

---

"We’ve arrived." I blinked and my eyes fluttered open. The first thing I noticed was Bastavo looking at me silently, not saying a word. He looked... serene for lack of a better term. I was more or less staring up at the ceiling of the car we took. I knew I should be turning my head about now, but I was absolutely too lazy to do so. Lazily, I let my eyes settle to the right to focus on him.

"Arrived?" I mumbled in exchange. "What do you mean by arrived?" I watched as he rolled his eyes and sighed with a look of irritation on his face.

"You have a nasty habit of not listening, huh?" He asked me. I felt my eyebrow pulse impulsively and forcibly swallowed my pride. He ticked me off yes, but he was also the son of a gun that was kind enough (or stupid enough) to save my own life. I may not like him, but I owe him a bit of respect for his work. I shrugged and smiled sheepishly; he exchanged that with a groan and another roll of his eyes.

"This will become your new home." He said, motioning with his head towards the left side. I was a bit nervous to say the least. I expected that he must have lived lavishly, with a ton of servants and butlers waiting on his every command. I was more than ready for the paved golden pathways with all the romanticist sculptures, exquisite benches, and a long reflection pool leading up to the house. Hell, I was prepared to gaze in pure awe at a giant marble arc symbolizing the incredible culture he could possess and yadda yadda. This of course, would all lead up to a massive palace with incredible columns and luxurious walls and et cetera et cetera.

What I wasn't prepared for was the truth. The moment I looked to the left, I was actually met with disappointment.

"…This is it?" I asked him, staring at my new home. I almost heard a snort of amusement from behind me in response to my shock and disappointment. I was met with a fairly old three story house, with white walls rather than some cream colored walls I expected. The steps leading to the front door were actually fairly plain. There was a porch with an old rocking chair, and rather than the tons of pillars I expected, it was only two beams to hold up the roof above it. The window frames were actually a cream color, which was somewhat amusing to notice. At least the windows themselves were in good condition, though the ones on the second and third floors had the noticeable addition of a screen in each one to prevent any… accidents. Damn it, so much for pushing him out the window (but then I'd be caught and killed right after now that I thought about it). To the right of the house was a flagpole, with the Federation’s flag waving proudly in the air. The flagpole itself was actually a metallic gray, which almost drove me nuts. I HATED metallic colors to an extreme- yes I was aware of the irony, being a nation of military steel and all- and I actually tried to resist the urge to yell at hi-

"For fuck’s sake!" I cried out in anguish. "The flag pole isn’t even white! What the Hell is wrong with you!?" That apparently did it for him as he burst into laughter. I groaned and hung my head in annoyance. I truly wished I didn't open my mouth, as I wanted to punch his teeth in for his rebuttal.

"Ha… well, I see that this ticks you off. Excellent thing to know as well, thanks!" I buried my face in my hands and resisted the urge to punch him so hard. Slowly, I let my head rise to view over the rest of the house. My eyes trailed upwards towards the roof. It was shingled with what looked like red clay, rounded shingle which unnerved me somewhat. I couldn’t believe that someone would actually live under this kind of roof. This architecture in general… it just seemed completely foreign! I quickly broke my gaze to look at the pathway leading up to the house. I couldn't help but look on in utter disdain at the lack of a reflection pool, a fountain, or even statues. There was a row of trees at least, and two white gravel-laden pathways on both sides of the row leading up to the house. There were two benches facing away from the trees, one on each side. I was expecting luxury and the like, but instead I was greeted with a sense of normalcy.

"Disappointed are we?" I turned around to face a smirking Bastavo, his red eyes radiating with humor. Slowly, I nodded my head and watched as his smirk seemed to break out into a full-fledged grin. "Not surprised. A lot of foreign nations are shocked when they see my home for the first time."

"You'e one of the richest nations in the world though!" I retorted, thoroughly unnerved by his grin. "Why exactly would you not spend your wealth lavishly? Wouldn't you want people to know the wealth you possessed?" Slowly, he sighed and opened his side of the car door. He climbed out and started to walk towards the house, beckoning me to follow. I quickly took off my seatbelt, slid out of the car, and rushed to catch up with him. Suddenly, I stopped and rushed back to the car. I grabbed my laptop bag from it and then closed the door. Losing my laptop was a bad idea; after all, I still had a lot of work to do.

"Think about this Parasi." He started in a quite nonchalant tone as I followed close behind. "Why exactly do I need a large mansion with tons of large statues, fountains, pillars, this and that, and yadda yadda? Do I truly need any of that stuff?" He spun around on his toes and started to walk backwards. I thought over what he said quite carefully. Wouldn't he want to show off his wealth though? Shouldn’t the rich do that?

"Call me frugal I suppose." He continued, breaking my train of thought. "Some time ago, I truly decided that I didn't need any of that. I literally could walk to my car, drive about thirty or so minutes, and go to a museum if I desperately wanted to admire statues and the like. More importantly, I don’t need massive houses with a ton of empty or unused rooms." He winked and leaned against the porch stairs. “In the end, it’s about cost effectiveness. If I won’t use it, I shouldn’t look to obtain it. I didn’t think I needed any of that and so far, I’ve been quite correct in my thinking.” When he put it that way, it did kind of make sense. I didn’t fully understand why he wouldn’t want to act rich. Come to think of it… at any conference of personifications or whenever he’s on the news, he didn’t really seem like he was living lavishly. In fact, anytime I saw him, he was usually either dressed in the formal tuxedo and the like or informally, like any normal person.

“However, there is one ‘luxury’ thing I will say that I was glad to spend money on.” I raised an eyebrow at Bastavo’s words. The only response from him was a small smile. Gradually, he pushed himself away from the porch and began to walk around the house. I followed him, unsure of what I was going to see. When we reached the back, he stopped and sidestepped to let me pass. As I did, I realized what he meant by “luxury” instantaneously. It was a very lovely courtyard, with a fountain right at the center. Four pathways extended from the center, each branching out into parts unknown. There were a few places to sit around the flowerbeds and the courtyard. A few lawn chairs dotted the rear of the house, allowing for a place to tan and relax. There were also wooden benches, painted white with expertise. The pathway that led towards the house ended at a porch, with a small table and a parasol directly above it. There was a hammock set up on the porch and it was directly under the shade cast by the house.

All of that paled in comparison to the pathway leading away from the house and straight for the lake. I felt my legs move, independent from the rest of my mind. I watched in awe as the view of the lake merely expanded to gloriousness as I passed the trees blocking the view to the rest of the lake. Finally, I reached the shore and simply stared around. Mountains graced the view with magnificence, seemingly rushing towards the Heavens themselves. In front was a massive forest, pristine and untouched by the ravaging effects of modern civilization. The waters themselves were crystal clear.

“…Magnificence.” It was the only word uttered from my mouth. “Bastavo, you LIVE here!?” I spun around and stared at him with shock. He grinned and slowly approached.

“Like I said, I don’t need to buy statues or fountains or things. Nature works just fine.” He replied, simply smiling. “The fountain is there because I did want one fountain to have. I didn’t know why, I guess I just liked how that looked.” I was still too stunned to speak. This was where I was going to live from now on. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t feel bad that I was here rather than home. Then again, this was perfection, and I always did love nature.

“I guess you’re excited to be here.” He said with a smirk. I raised an eyebrow and frowned. Damn it, I couldn’t let this beauty cloud my judgment. I still lost that war, and I needed to focus on achieving my independence from this bastard.

“Eh, it’s nice.” I responded flatly. He merely grinned and shrugged. “I’m going to work on the report on the porch then. Is that fine?”

“Sounds good. I’ll go get your room ready and get boxes moved in.” He turned around and started to walk away from me. I clutched my bag and watched him silently. He reached the sliding door and then unlocked it with a key. I sighed and started to walk towards one of the benches.

“Oh! Parasi!” I looked up and noticed Bastavo had finally opened the door. However, he was looking at me with a warm smile on. I furrowed my brow and waited for a smug addendum to his speech.

"Yeah?" I asked, prepared to fight.

"Welcome home." I blinked and watched as he walked in, leaving me out here confused as hell.