"Ask Romanoffia"

Romanoffia

Romanoffia

Garde à l'eau!
Ask Romanoffia!

TNP's ultimate Advice Thread!

Submit your silly or serious questions about what you need advice on. The sillier and stranger, the better!
 
Koth:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck IF INDEED a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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The answer to that depends upon whether or not you ask that question in Latin. "Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?"

If the question is asked in Latin, it is meaningless because there are no woodchucks in Europe, only marmots which are not quite woodchucks. And woodchucks cannot chuck wood because they lack opposing thumbs and generally are not known for their innate desire nor ability to use wood in any manner of ballistic applications.

Add to that the fact that if you went to ancient Rome and asked an ancient Roman that question he would probably look at you like you were nuts. Of course, if ever found yourself talking to any ancient Roman there would be something severely wrong with the current time-space continuum. :P





Prince Windsor:
Is TNP under a coup? :O
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Always! If it isn't it would not be TNP. :lol:


Lord Byron:
How do I use This Thread? http://forum.thenorthpacific.org/topic/6925668/1/#new
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You just post your question in the thread. Someone may or may not answer it.


mcmasterdonia:
What is the meaning of life?
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In pure existential terms in a Kirkegaard the answer to that question is "Life is meaningless and everything we do is useless so wipe that silly grin off your face."

The answer to your question is 42.


Kingborough:
Will the world end in 2013?
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I'm sure for some people it will. Relatively speaking, that is.

The world already ended for the Aztecs despite a lot of time having been left on the calender. :P
 
Romanoffia:
Add to that the fact that if you went to ancient Rome and asked an ancient Roman that question he would probably look at you like you were nuts. Of course, if ever found yourself talking to any ancient Roman there would be something severely wrong with the current time-space continuum. :P
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In the context of NS, aren't I already talking to an ancient Roman? :P
 
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All snippets I've heard about Kirkegaard make him sound well worth reading. Reading is hard though. This brings me onto something I can ask Romanoffia: Why is it so hard for me to finish reading anything that's not a wikipedia article?
 
Why is it so hard to finish anything that's not a Wiki article? Because most books are too long and boring as hell because they are filled with superfluous crap.

Kirkegaard will have most people going to sleep in the first few pages. Try reading Gibbon's Rise and Fall of The Roman Empire. It's fairly boring unless you figure out that he was really writing about the British Empire, and then, it's still a fairly boring work occasionally punctuated with some interesting stuff. Usually some very bloody, but nonetheless interesting stuff.

I think the historians got it all wrong. Julius Caesar didn't say to Brutus, "And you too, Brutus?". What I think Julius Caesar really said was, "Brutus,you prick!" :P



@ Koth - Indeed, I would, by NS terms, be an ancient Roman. :clap: :lol:
 
DD:
Where were you raised? Region of the country is fine, no need for specific coordinates. :evil:
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All over the US and Canada. And your point would be? :P


Blue Wolf:
Dear Romanoffia, I am vomiting blood. It is not my own. Is this a problem?
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That would depend. Is it a full moon tonight?


(BW - that has to be most twisted yet hysterical thing I have ever seen on this forum. :lol: :rofl: )
 
Dear Ask Romanoffia-

My cat threw up all over the couch yesterday. I didn't want it to look like a mess, so I regurgitated on the couch as well to make it look natural. Earlier tonight, I had my boss over for dinner. I knew his wife thought the color of my couch was ugly, so while he was in the bathroom I tied her to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, and she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya.

Advice?
 
Iro:
Dear Ask Romanoffia-

My cat threw up all over the couch yesterday. I didn't want it to look like a mess, so I regurgitated on the couch as well to make it look natural. Earlier tonight, I had my boss over for dinner. I knew his wife thought the color of my couch was ugly, so while he was in the bathroom I tied her to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, and she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya.

Advice?
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You should have scraped up all the cat puke, put in in a blender with some bleu cheese, poured it all over some pasta and called it 'Alfredo' sauce. Yum!
 
Dear Romanoffia, what is the least painful way to un-glue ones genitals from their leg should they happen to spill superglue in their lap?
 
@ Iro - Yes.

@ DD - I wasn't raised in any specific region of the US. I lived all over Canada. And all before I was 25. :p

@ Heron Lord - Not being familiar with having glued my nu-nus to a leg with crazy glue, I am familiar with crazy glue. It is a cyano-acrylite compound and therefore mildly water soluble. It is also soluble quite rapidly in acetone.

In the case of water, it will take about 12 hours so jumping jacks might help to tear the glued parts apart - I would imagine that would not be recommended.

In the case of acetone - the glued parts would be freed in a matter of a few minutes, or, as a result of pouring acetone over one's genitals, instantly as you ran around in the agony of possibly unimaginable pain from the acetone.

If you are in the habit of unintentionally gluing your genitals to your leg, I might suggest changing your choice of glue. If you are in the habit of intentionally engaging in this activity, then mental health councilling is advised. :p

Just be glad you weren't using a staple gun. ;D
 
I tried the acetone... IT WAS NOT THE GOOD PLAN.... was hoping you would have some secret like lemons or something... I am deathly afraid of a repeat occurrence.
 
was glueing together a model in bed while reading... I managed to get the boxers of in time but failed to figure out how to keep the other parts from sticking to things... Just glad i didnt glue it to my hand or something worse like the mattress...
 
flemingovia:
Dear Romanoffia,

How can i stop that bloody awful Llama llama duck song from going round and round in my head?
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That's easy. Listen to this song a few times: The Badger Song and you will forget about that awfull Llama Llama crap. In fact, you may forget most everything after listening to The Badger Song as you may indeed lose your sanity. :P

Great Bights Mum:
Get a bottle of tequila and a salt shaker.

Sorry, Roman, I couldn't help myself.
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You are, indeed, a true mind reader! :winner:
 
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