Emperor Matthuis
TNPer
An Interview With the Chocolate Queen
North Pacifican reporters goes hyper on sugar rush in Darkesia
After much travelling this intrepid reporter finally reached Darkesia, it is a dark and chocolaty land, full of sugar rushes and occasional allergies. We were swiftly escorted to the great, towering Palace of Chocolate, where we waited anxiously to meet the beautiful Queen Dark. Recently banished from the hallowed halls of Pacifica, she briefly flirted with the underworld of Kandarin, but more recently she has joined The West Pacific under the handsome TAO. It was approaching midday and the floor was beginning to feel slightly sticky, when suddenly the great doors opened, where Queen Dark stood. She kisses me on the cheek and beckons me in to a dark room, over dinner we begin to talk.
After the formal niceties, I enquire as to why she choose The West Pacific. She giggles, ‘Easy. I have a TAO fixation and Neenee is there.’ I nod as she continues, ‘My original intent was just to hang out and spam. But I saw they had an open system of governance and they were so darned friendly, and so I got sucked into the Town Council after only a few hours in the region.’ She laughs warmly, as the waiters bring in white chocolate cheesecakes with cream. I ask in between mouthfuls if she has plans to join The West Pacifican Senate, Queen Dark thinks for a moment. ‘I hadn’t thought about it actually, and I don’t think I am qualified. There’s some kind of postcount system that prevents people like me from getting in. But I like the way the Town Council is working. It’s a nice atmosphere and everyone gets a chance to give their point of view. It’s already effectively made an official vote in the Senate and it’s still in its formation stages. I could actually get a chance to make a difference someplace.’ She seems excited by the prospect, I ask about why she did not retire from the international scene altogether. ‘My friends are here. When I tried to stay away from it, I kept thinking about all my friends who I wanted to talk to. I’m a hopeless addict and have now faced it.’
As the main course is being served, I dare to enquire about the thornier issue of why she had been banished or left the New Pacific Order, led by Emperor Moo. She fixes me with a stare and then smiles, ‘It always chaffed me that he would pay more attention to his Cybernations’ subjects than to his NationStates’ ones. Couple that with over a year of being to "wait just a few more weeks" before some great plan of his came about and you have one frustrated Queen Dark.’ I am interested and enquire further, she goes on to cast her doubt over the theories that the great Ivan Moldavi had attempted to recapture Pacifica from Emperor Moo. Queen Dark dismisses it as: ‘a convenient fear reaction that Moo had and then spread it to everyone.’ Intrigued, I go on to ask her about her feelings on Emperor Moo and Pacifica. ‘I am opposed to Moo’s rule because I believe he has lead the region away from Francoist thought and his poor leadership has harmed the region. I do not oppose the NPO, nor do I oppose The Pacific.’
I move on to ask her briefly about Cybernations, ‘I was around for the birth of Cybernations and all Ivan’s speeches about how we were to leave NationStates at the door. The idea was supposed to be to unite players from different parts of NationStates. The chance for defenders and invaders, Feederites and Userites, AND and NPO, to play on the first team for the first time.’ Sternly she says: ‘But game crossover makes me want to commit homicide.’ I neglect to ask on who.
Finally I ask about perhaps the most pressing issue, are the rumours of a chocolate shortage in Pacifica unfounded? ‘They are absolutely true. Darkesian chocolate is forbidden in The Pacific at this time and sadly most of the manufacturing equipment was located inside Pacifican territory. However West Pacifican officials have offered the proceeds of Minineenee Cookies to help rebuild the industry.’ Queen Dark speaks with utter conviction, ‘The Chocolate must flow.’
Regretfully, dinner had ended but as I was about to thank her for the hospitality and interview, she wiggles her eyebrows seductively at me. ‘Would you care for a dip in my newly constructed chocolate hot tub?’ It is a tantalizing prospect, but the journalist in me takes over and thinking Queen Dark has finally let her guard down, I seize the opportunity. ‘Are there any secrets about the New Pacific Order that you would be willing to say?’ She smiles at me, ‘Absolutely none.’
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Written by Emperor Matthuis
Editor of The Northern Telegraph
North Pacifican reporters goes hyper on sugar rush in Darkesia
After much travelling this intrepid reporter finally reached Darkesia, it is a dark and chocolaty land, full of sugar rushes and occasional allergies. We were swiftly escorted to the great, towering Palace of Chocolate, where we waited anxiously to meet the beautiful Queen Dark. Recently banished from the hallowed halls of Pacifica, she briefly flirted with the underworld of Kandarin, but more recently she has joined The West Pacific under the handsome TAO. It was approaching midday and the floor was beginning to feel slightly sticky, when suddenly the great doors opened, where Queen Dark stood. She kisses me on the cheek and beckons me in to a dark room, over dinner we begin to talk.
After the formal niceties, I enquire as to why she choose The West Pacific. She giggles, ‘Easy. I have a TAO fixation and Neenee is there.’ I nod as she continues, ‘My original intent was just to hang out and spam. But I saw they had an open system of governance and they were so darned friendly, and so I got sucked into the Town Council after only a few hours in the region.’ She laughs warmly, as the waiters bring in white chocolate cheesecakes with cream. I ask in between mouthfuls if she has plans to join The West Pacifican Senate, Queen Dark thinks for a moment. ‘I hadn’t thought about it actually, and I don’t think I am qualified. There’s some kind of postcount system that prevents people like me from getting in. But I like the way the Town Council is working. It’s a nice atmosphere and everyone gets a chance to give their point of view. It’s already effectively made an official vote in the Senate and it’s still in its formation stages. I could actually get a chance to make a difference someplace.’ She seems excited by the prospect, I ask about why she did not retire from the international scene altogether. ‘My friends are here. When I tried to stay away from it, I kept thinking about all my friends who I wanted to talk to. I’m a hopeless addict and have now faced it.’
As the main course is being served, I dare to enquire about the thornier issue of why she had been banished or left the New Pacific Order, led by Emperor Moo. She fixes me with a stare and then smiles, ‘It always chaffed me that he would pay more attention to his Cybernations’ subjects than to his NationStates’ ones. Couple that with over a year of being to "wait just a few more weeks" before some great plan of his came about and you have one frustrated Queen Dark.’ I am interested and enquire further, she goes on to cast her doubt over the theories that the great Ivan Moldavi had attempted to recapture Pacifica from Emperor Moo. Queen Dark dismisses it as: ‘a convenient fear reaction that Moo had and then spread it to everyone.’ Intrigued, I go on to ask her about her feelings on Emperor Moo and Pacifica. ‘I am opposed to Moo’s rule because I believe he has lead the region away from Francoist thought and his poor leadership has harmed the region. I do not oppose the NPO, nor do I oppose The Pacific.’
I move on to ask her briefly about Cybernations, ‘I was around for the birth of Cybernations and all Ivan’s speeches about how we were to leave NationStates at the door. The idea was supposed to be to unite players from different parts of NationStates. The chance for defenders and invaders, Feederites and Userites, AND and NPO, to play on the first team for the first time.’ Sternly she says: ‘But game crossover makes me want to commit homicide.’ I neglect to ask on who.
Finally I ask about perhaps the most pressing issue, are the rumours of a chocolate shortage in Pacifica unfounded? ‘They are absolutely true. Darkesian chocolate is forbidden in The Pacific at this time and sadly most of the manufacturing equipment was located inside Pacifican territory. However West Pacifican officials have offered the proceeds of Minineenee Cookies to help rebuild the industry.’ Queen Dark speaks with utter conviction, ‘The Chocolate must flow.’
Regretfully, dinner had ended but as I was about to thank her for the hospitality and interview, she wiggles her eyebrows seductively at me. ‘Would you care for a dip in my newly constructed chocolate hot tub?’ It is a tantalizing prospect, but the journalist in me takes over and thinking Queen Dark has finally let her guard down, I seize the opportunity. ‘Are there any secrets about the New Pacific Order that you would be willing to say?’ She smiles at me, ‘Absolutely none.’
---
Written by Emperor Matthuis
Editor of The Northern Telegraph
