This is a tabloid article intended as fun (pronounced "fuhn"). It is not intended to be a serious commentary on recent events, nor is it intended in any way to contribute to the oh-so-gripping point by point whine fest going on throughout Nationstates. It is Satire, designed to be read by those with a sense of humour. Any attempt to make political capital out of it will be met with derision, and much use of the following smilies:
and possibly 
and 
If you cannot recognise satire when you see it, I suggest you stare for a while at this picture of a kitten and puppy and think happy thoughts. Everyone else, scroll down...
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This article is based on a series of children's books that are quite well known in the UK. The famous five are a bunch of chums from the Lexicon. Julian (the leader of the gang), Dick, George (who is actually a girl) and Anne. The fifth member of the gang is Timmy the dog
It was the beginning of the Summer Hols, and the Famous Five were leaving their boarding school in the North Pacific and returning home to the Lexicon (which is why they have not been seen in TNP for a while)
“This is going to be a spiffing Summer everyone! six weeks together with nothing to do but lark about!” said Anne.
Dick looked at her sternly. “Yes, Anne, but don’t forget we have that war against the rotters in the North Pacific to finish.”
George, meanwhile, seemed off in a world all of her own. All the others could hear was her murmuring: “406, 407, 408, 409….”
Julian turned round in his seat to face his chum: “You are right, Dick! What rum adventures we had in the North Pacific! What did you do against the North Pacificans?”
“Woof”, said Timmy, encouragingly
“Well," replied Dick, "I marched right over to their forum and I told them how jolly beastly they have been to everyone. That showed them.”
“Well done, Dick.” Said everyone, admiringly.
“Ra-ther,” continued Dick, “By the time I had finished they were clutching their sides in shame and tears were rolling down their cheeks.”
George continued to stare at the passing scenery: “…511,512, 513, 514….”
Julian turned to his little sister: “And what about you, Anne?”
“Well, I made lots of postcards which said “Former English Colony is beastly to small animals” and I sent them to everyone who is friends with her. I even put lots of smilies on them to make me look cute.”
Everyone looked at Anne. For such a young girl, they all agreed, she had done splendidly. George alone did not join in the congratulations, but continued to murmur: “…589, 590, 591, 592…”
Dick looked back at his chum: “What have you done, Julian?”
“well, I am the leader, so my role is more inspirational. I stay here and tell you lot how brilliant we are and how we are going to win against the beastly North Pacificans.”
“And are we?” said Dick and Anne together.
Julian looked, for the first time, rather embarrassed: “Are we what?”
George looked up from her counting: “…608, 609, 610… are we winning the war?”
Julian seemed unwilling to answer the question. Instead he asked, “George, what are you doing?”
“I am counting up to a thousand.” Said George, with a smile on her face.
“Why?” cried everyone.
George looked at them as if they were all being silly, “It makes this story look a little longer than it actually is. Just like our forum.”
“Woof” said Timmy, approvingly.
“You ARE clever, George” said Anne, with a look of hero worship on her face as she stared at her older chum. “And what happens when you reach 1000?”
George looked very wise: “Then I start counting down to 1 again.”
“Brilliant!!!!” said Anne, Julian and Dick together. “I wish I had thought of that” said Dick.
Suddenly, Anne looked up at her older brother. “Julian, there is one thing I do not understand.”
“What is it, Anne old thing” said her older brother, ruffling her curly hair in an affectionate way.
Anne looked at Julian seriously “If we are winning this war against the North Pacific, why is everyone laughing at us all over Nationstates?”
Julian turned bright red. “Ah” he said “it is because they are all ADN. Everyone but us is owned by the ADN.”
“Is the North Pacific ADN?” said Anne. “Of course, silly” said Dick. “Julian explained all that to us last week.”
Anne was a bit upset at being called silly. Boys could be so cruel sometimes. But she fought back her tears. “And the Lone Wolves United. Are they ADN?” she said. “Yes”, Julian replied, gravely. “I am afraid to tell you that they are ADN too. The ADN are everywhere.”
George smiled to herself “624” she replied.
Dick sighed. “Oh well. I suppose there is nothing else to do now but count to 1000 with George. 625” “626” said Anne. Anne was not altogether happy at this, but felt she ought to join in.
And so The Famous Five spent the whole summer counting up to 1000…. and back…. .and up again.
and possibly and If you cannot recognise satire when you see it, I suggest you stare for a while at this picture of a kitten and puppy and think happy thoughts. Everyone else, scroll down...
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Five invade a feeder together.
By Enid Blyton
By Enid Blyton
This article is based on a series of children's books that are quite well known in the UK. The famous five are a bunch of chums from the Lexicon. Julian (the leader of the gang), Dick, George (who is actually a girl) and Anne. The fifth member of the gang is Timmy the dog
It was the beginning of the Summer Hols, and the Famous Five were leaving their boarding school in the North Pacific and returning home to the Lexicon (which is why they have not been seen in TNP for a while)
“This is going to be a spiffing Summer everyone! six weeks together with nothing to do but lark about!” said Anne.
Dick looked at her sternly. “Yes, Anne, but don’t forget we have that war against the rotters in the North Pacific to finish.”
George, meanwhile, seemed off in a world all of her own. All the others could hear was her murmuring: “406, 407, 408, 409….”
Julian turned round in his seat to face his chum: “You are right, Dick! What rum adventures we had in the North Pacific! What did you do against the North Pacificans?”
“Woof”, said Timmy, encouragingly
“Well," replied Dick, "I marched right over to their forum and I told them how jolly beastly they have been to everyone. That showed them.”
“Well done, Dick.” Said everyone, admiringly.
“Ra-ther,” continued Dick, “By the time I had finished they were clutching their sides in shame and tears were rolling down their cheeks.”
George continued to stare at the passing scenery: “…511,512, 513, 514….”
Julian turned to his little sister: “And what about you, Anne?”
“Well, I made lots of postcards which said “Former English Colony is beastly to small animals” and I sent them to everyone who is friends with her. I even put lots of smilies on them to make me look cute.”
Everyone looked at Anne. For such a young girl, they all agreed, she had done splendidly. George alone did not join in the congratulations, but continued to murmur: “…589, 590, 591, 592…”
Dick looked back at his chum: “What have you done, Julian?”
“well, I am the leader, so my role is more inspirational. I stay here and tell you lot how brilliant we are and how we are going to win against the beastly North Pacificans.”
“And are we?” said Dick and Anne together.
Julian looked, for the first time, rather embarrassed: “Are we what?”
George looked up from her counting: “…608, 609, 610… are we winning the war?”
Julian seemed unwilling to answer the question. Instead he asked, “George, what are you doing?”
“I am counting up to a thousand.” Said George, with a smile on her face.
“Why?” cried everyone.
George looked at them as if they were all being silly, “It makes this story look a little longer than it actually is. Just like our forum.”
“Woof” said Timmy, approvingly.
“You ARE clever, George” said Anne, with a look of hero worship on her face as she stared at her older chum. “And what happens when you reach 1000?”
George looked very wise: “Then I start counting down to 1 again.”
“Brilliant!!!!” said Anne, Julian and Dick together. “I wish I had thought of that” said Dick.
Suddenly, Anne looked up at her older brother. “Julian, there is one thing I do not understand.”
“What is it, Anne old thing” said her older brother, ruffling her curly hair in an affectionate way.
Anne looked at Julian seriously “If we are winning this war against the North Pacific, why is everyone laughing at us all over Nationstates?”
Julian turned bright red. “Ah” he said “it is because they are all ADN. Everyone but us is owned by the ADN.”
“Is the North Pacific ADN?” said Anne. “Of course, silly” said Dick. “Julian explained all that to us last week.”
Anne was a bit upset at being called silly. Boys could be so cruel sometimes. But she fought back her tears. “And the Lone Wolves United. Are they ADN?” she said. “Yes”, Julian replied, gravely. “I am afraid to tell you that they are ADN too. The ADN are everywhere.”
George smiled to herself “624” she replied.
Dick sighed. “Oh well. I suppose there is nothing else to do now but count to 1000 with George. 625” “626” said Anne. Anne was not altogether happy at this, but felt she ought to join in.
And so The Famous Five spent the whole summer counting up to 1000…. and back…. .and up again.
