Maggie Sucks it Hard
Lone Wolves United Takes Credit
Babies around the world laugh and
giggle when they hear the news
Magnetic Island, the first defender turncoat to ever take advantage of LWU’s “Entertainment for Intel” campaign, came by Lone Wolves United today to re-ignite old flames by ripping up the RMB with blasphemy and degradations. The moderators, with quick speed and agility thanks to their heavily greased palms, gave Magnetic Island the spanking he should have received when he acted up at his 13th birthday last year. The moderators lashed out against the vandal and destroyed every nation he had with the exception of “Scardino”. At the end of the wave of regional happenings stood a statement that would come to be a holy phrase in Lone Wolves United clearly indicating that Maggie’s Islands had sunk.
But why is Magnetic Island hated so much in Lone Wolves United? When Lone Wolves United was still in its old region, “The Lone Wolves United”, and harbored only 15-20 nations, Magnetic Island, the founder and leader of the successful defender region, Aurora, asked to make a deal with Scardino, the founder of TLWU. Magnetic Island, even then, felt the defender side of NationStates dying and asked Scardino to let him raid with TLWU. In return, Maggie agreed not to send Aurora to defend any regions targeted by The Lone Wolves United. Scardino agreed to this offer, always having a warm spot in his heart for working with people under-the-table, and Magnetic Island went on to be one of the best raiders LWU has ever seen. He took the initiative to invade large regions on his own and credit them to The Lone Wolves United earning him much favor with Scardino. Unfortunately, a reporter for the now defunct “NationStates News” revealed the agreement between Magnetic Island and Scardino and, for the first time, controversy consumed The Lone Wolves United. For months Scardino was accused not only of dealing with Magnetic Island but of actually being Magnetic Island.
The moderators celebrate Maggie's
demise on LWU's regional happenings
Scardino spent those months fighting to defend not only his credibility but the credibility of The Lone Wolves United as a whole as raiders like Svejk of The Jolly Roger (defunct) threw blasphemous statements against him and his region without ceasing. Eventually, however, after they had dealt their damage, these conspiracy theories were reduced to quiet murmurs in the dark corners of the raider community making themselves known only through snide remarks and an air of distrust amongst the ignorant.
So will this change anything? When asked what he thought, long term resident Arbitor replied that he considered this to be “solid poof against that thing” and felt that this would restore the good name of Lone Wolves United and one of the sexiest military leaders in NationStates (me). Arbitor closed the interview with “I mean I know they werent smart to begin with but theyd half to be stuped to keep sayin that shit”.
Outside of Lone Wolves United, and even in the defender community, the general feeling towards Maggie seems to have been the same: He was a piss stain on NationStates’ white sheets. Even in his own region, Aurora, Maggie had wreaked havoc by ejecting everyone who disagreed with him over even the most trivial of matters and even attempted to rule his region with a cast-iron fist modeled after the style made wildly popular in LWU by Evil Wolf but succeeded only in causing LWU to receive the occasional unsightly refugee. The world smiles as this figure falls into the great abyss and waits to see who will grab a shovel and clean up the shit he left behind.
In solidarity,
Scardino