What To Do In A Terrorist Attack
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.
Use your flashlight to lift fallen debris right off you!
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water, and at least one (1) armless hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist, if you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the f*** away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses, and biohazard symbols have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pink eye and leprosy. They often rub their hands together maniacally.
If door is closed, karate chop it open.
Try to absord as much radiation as possible with your groin area, after five minutes and twelve seconds, however, you may become sterile.
After exposure to radiation, it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions. Watch your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that s***.
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton, or Yanni on the radio, cower in a corner or run like hell.
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with arms akimbo until they stop.
Austin is radioactive, move to Houston.
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.
Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.
A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation. Always carry one!
If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.
Use your flashlight to lift fallen debris right off you!
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water, and at least one (1) armless hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist, if you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the f*** away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses, and biohazard symbols have a lot in common. Think about it.
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pink eye and leprosy. They often rub their hands together maniacally.
If door is closed, karate chop it open.
Try to absord as much radiation as possible with your groin area, after five minutes and twelve seconds, however, you may become sterile.
After exposure to radiation, it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions. Watch your head.
If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that s***.
If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton, or Yanni on the radio, cower in a corner or run like hell.
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with arms akimbo until they stop.
Austin is radioactive, move to Houston.
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.
Do not drive a station wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.
A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation. Always carry one!