INTRO Now by now, I’m sure many of you have heard about our Constitution. It is chided in the OOC forums, browbeaten by many a Regional Assembly member, and a source of much wonder, amazement, frustration, and confusion for all new players (and some older ones too.) While it remains a shining pinnacle of stability and freedom for a region scarred by war and strife, let’s not kid ourselves; it’s over-written with staid baffling language that’s as interesting as a hairy midget in drag. You know it bears much dignity and importance but it’s uncannily ugly and you just can’t seem to look away. As Minister of Justice, I’ve taken the task of attempting to make sense of this maze of legalese for a people wanting to just skim through it (or in other words read it without the fear of entering a coma.) So what’s different between this version and Hers? Well, Hersfold took the honourable task of trying to explain every aspect of our Constitution, the how and why, while taking time to work in a beautiful message of our region’s spirit of diversity, freedom, and inclusiveness to continue despite the smouldering war scarred setting it was drafted in. Ironically, the original Dummy version was not only longer than the original document but covered four different topics!! My version is dumbed down, lacking in poignancy with lots of unsuccessful attempts at humour. That’s the key difference in style; Hersfold is funny, I just try to be. Now to cover the three most obvious questions: Why not have a Constitution that’s not filled with a sinister legalese, that depends on bourgeois white collars to make sense of it for us? What’s up with the paranoia? From what I can see, all the Regional Assembly seems to try to do is change and alter the constitution to fit their agenda so how is this document really ubiquitous or essential if it’s only a rag that’s constantly being altered to keep up with the times? And hey wait, why should I trust you to tell me my rights? Aren’t you a Post-Left Anarchist with a name filled with drug innuendos, wasting everyone’s time and patience with kooky ideas, and a vision of the past based on your anti-establishment ideology? Well the reason why the language is so mind-numbing is because of the increased role of accountability; like the law in real life, the language is air-tight as to avoid loopholes, abuse, misinterpretation, and to provide the equality of justice and law to all citizens. Much of the detail was crafted by our resident senior jurist Grosseschnauzer, who should be applauded for his trademarked eloquent posts (even the ones where you have no idea what the hell he’s saying.) The other key aspect of the constitution is PARANOIA, this constitution is revolutionary by North Pacific standards by not only outlining the roles of any person who hold any amount of power but how they should take power, the conditions for thinking of taking a position of power, what they should do if they’re confused with what to do once they’ve taken power, how to tie your shoelaces while holding power, and what to do if you’ve lost the power somewhere in that mess you call a bedroom. The history of the North Pacific is a portrait devoted to diversity with splashes of horrible dictatorial rule by people who slipped under our noses, took over the region while the rest of us were arguing whether what the tyrant did was legally bad or illegally bad. A constitution is a tricky thing to do right, some countries don’t even bother but the goal is always to cement our core values forever while remaining a living embodiment of our ideals. That’s why it’s always being amended by the Regional Assembly, to keep up with the times if you will. Only not in that ever freakish Madonna way.