TNP OOC Quotes: Best Of

IndieGirl

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TNP Nation
IndieGirl
Post your favorite OOC Memories here...




Sydia pretending to be insane:
I've just described a locomotive which uses, and is comprised of, various illegal narcotics.

Syd again:
I'm Led Zeppeloin, Germany's heaviest lover!

Syd participating in the OOC in one of the ways he's best at...:
useless.gif


The Topic of Tangents
"Keep it irrelivant!"
UN Catagory: Spam fest
Civil Rights: Widely abused | Relevance: Unheard of | Political Freedoms: Corrupt
The Topic of Tangents is a small, useless topic notable for its complete lack of content. It's RPing, spamming population hold the asterix symbol dear, although those talking sense tend to be viewed with suspicion.

There is no moderation in the traditional sense, but a largely benevolant topic starter lets posters talk about what they like. The government devotes most of its attentions to nonsense, with areas such as logic and common sense receiving almost no funds by comparison.

Rubbish is catapulted into Tangents from the RP forum, spamming is encouraged, and the topic is headed up by a bunch of bored flatmates. Sagacity is well under control. Tagent's national animal is the spammer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the *.

Virtual Boy:
What does props mean? I'm always scared to use it in case it means "Mole shagger" or something.

Monte Ozarka in the Share Your Photos Here Thread:
I would like to give my sincerest apologies to all members of the African-American watermelon community. My previous remark was not mean to be racist or in any way detracting from the African-American watermelon race. Please forgive me and trust that I shall never make the same error again. I am sorry for my words.

This gem of a conversation from the “Truth or Dare?” thread:

Virtual Boy: I can't believe you've never been in a fight, I've been in gazillions. It's rough over in Britain though :D

Democratic Donkeys: Yeah, us people in the USA are civilized. That's why we have so many gun deaths. Pistols at dawn Sirrah!

Virtual Boy: Yeah, I'd probably be dead by now if we could "pack gats" or somesuch.

Democratic Donkeys: Ya bro, we be rollin' an' capping niggas all day an' all night biatch. Ya heard!?

Virtual Boy: Uh.. s'up? :blink:

Monte Ozarka: I, for one, would be very happy to see sword duels being legalized again. Carry on. ::off topic::

Virtual Boy: You like swords do you? ;) (Obscene comment of the day #2)

Monte Ozarka: *groans* Oh, yeaaaah. Especially big, long thick ones...ones that need to be grabbed and held by two hands. (Obscene comment of the day #3) ;)

Virtual Boy: Hand-and-a-half swords? You've got to be Level 4 at least to get one of those.. (D&D reference o' the day #1)

MonkeyWooWoo: You're always checking out men's rapier's then? (just wrong comment of the day #1)

Virtual Boy: Long, thin and sproingy? :blink:

MonkeyWooWoo: :blink:

Virtual Boy: That's exactly what I was thinking. Well done that man!

Monte Ozarka: I don't discriminate between my swords. If it does the job, it's good enough for me. :D

Lebedya: :o And I thought I was being risque when I went off on a tangent about "post enhancers" :blush:

Sydia in "T or D?" after DD changed his username to Umblowp the Magical Engire per a dare from VB:
I've forever got the image of a drug-adled talking steam engine in my brain thanks to you, DD! With those swirling multicolours for paintwork, red-rimmed eyes, constant grin on his face, blunt hanging out the side of his mouth and a bong for a funnel.

Disclaimer: Drugs are bad, m'kay?

Veebs:
Sydia:
Bits of the Communist Manifesto and Das Kapital no doubt had much to do with it.

Um.. how do you get to see bits of those Marxist works? Did you go into work one day and your best mate said:

Barney:
Here - Dave! The means of production shall be reclaimed for the common good of the working proletariat! And can we swop sandwiches 'cos mine's salmon? :(

VB:
I just played the first half of Music Has The Right To Children by Boards of Canada on my stereo, probably annoying my entire floor.

My entire floor:
What's that crap he's got on? It sounds like two nuns shagging a synthesiser.
VB:
I just upped the ante (?) by putting on some Joy Division! MuhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahaNewOrderbutmoreannoyingyerrss.

::wOOt::

My entire landing:
What's that crap he's put on now? It sounds like New Order... but more annoying.
VB:
I just stuck Soul Trader by ILS in my stereo! Muhahahahhahahahhahabreakbeatatthishour?Youmustbemad!Yersss.

My entire floor:
What's that crap he's put on NOW?! It sounds like a herd of technologically-advanced yaks fighting a major space battle against the Death Star. Arsehole!
VB:
I just started playing Decksanddrumsandrockandroll by Propellerheads! Muhahahahhahahahaonlyonealbumwhatashameittrulyisbegorrahandbejabersyerrrss.

My entire floor:
What's that crap! NOOOOO! It's Take California - I'll never get it out of my head now, NEVVVVEEEERRRRRR!!! :cry:  :cry:


VB in the Endorse Poe And Get A Hug Thread:
Poe:
He even attempted to make friends with the dead through his ouija board, and no one from there wanted to be around him either.

I can see it now..
Francos and the ouija board:
If you like me, spell 'yes' (Waits)... No, 'yes' doesn't begin with 'Fu'

VB
 
Thess:
That's the brilliance of my idea. Every song ever made segues effortlessly into Rob Zombie. wink.gif

Here's a clip from the super-extended version of Lord of the Rings, starring Rob Zombie as Tom Bombadil.

"Ring ding a derry-daaaaw
Tom Bombadillo gonna kick it some more, YEAH!
Well I am a ripper-man
Tom Bombadillo gonna kick it again, YEAH!

MORE
HU-
MAN

THAN
HU-Mamamamamamamamaman!"

Then he chases Frodo and Sam around on the Zomboni. (If you haven't heard of the Zomboni, then I pity you for your life is not yet fully complete.)


Veebs responding to a question about dying for a loved one:
Yeah, course. As long as I get to die by blowing stuff up and being really dramatic.


Veebs:
Did you almost sign up to the forum as another name?

Also, did your mum and dad nearly call you Ringo, after the dog?


Susurrare:
Well, I wouldn't have chosen a word that when spoken out loud sounds like drunken slurring! :lol:

Given the choice, I would have named my first NS Nation, and hence this and all subsequent forum accounts, "Susurrus". But that was already taken, and since my best variation on that was what you see before you, I'm stuck with it for ever. Damn my personal continuity ethic...

Virtual Boy in the Kissing Booth:
I've seen Ringu, and it's like watching paint dry while some goblins stand in the distance and say to each other:

One goblin to another:
Dave, shall we go over?
Dave the goblin:
What for? That stupid girl with the big fringe has a monopoly on VHS
Original goblin:
Oh yeah, her. Cow *Smokes cigarette*

VB in the Kissing Booth AGAIN:
I'm off to snog a book! Damn that "Wuthering Heights" is sexy!
*Passionately snogs his copy of Wuthering Heights*
Wuthering-Heights-snogged.jpg

Virtual Boy:
"Cheers :D No-one's ever tickled my beard before"

Morality Police Officer:
Uh, sir. You can't say that in an area where they may be children sir.
VB:
Oh crap, not you again. Don't you have a warrant out for Poe's arrest? Anyway - have you checked?
Morality Police Officer:
I don't follow sir. What do you mean exactly?
VB:
Have you checked if there's any kids around? Cos if there isn't, do I really need to be arrested? Can you just warn me - I'm a handsome young man, I wouldn't do well in jail. Soap bars and such.
Morality Police Officer:
I'm afraid that just violated the Message Board Morality Code, Section 1135 sir. You'll have to come with us.
VB:
*ACHEM!!* You just said "violated", and "come with us". There's so much that could be read into that I don't even wanna think about it.
Morality Police Officer:
Oh dear. I suppose we could just let you off with a caution this time, but don't think about doing it again Mr. Boy, otherwise we'll have to bring the full weight of the law down on you.
VB:
I'm going to just leave and not say anything. Is that okay?
Morality Police Officer:
Certainly sir, but here's my number just in case you have any difficulties.
*VB drops card and runs away*

Virtual Boy in the Things You've Always Wondered Thread:
Anyway, one thing I wonder is - you know ninjas? Do they have a shop where they buy all their stuff? 'Cos if you firebombed the shop then they'd have to stop ninjing.


(I picked that one because he used "ninja" as a gerund, and that is hot stuff.)


Poe:
PP: That people bruises aren't like fruit bruises...that way if you pummel someone you really hate good enough, they just rot, and you're not actually responsible for killing them, and to stop the rotting process they have to cut out their bruises and pour lemon juice in them. Heh...I mean, I don't like the fact that My Little Pony isn't as predominent now as it was when I was in kindergarten. Teehee.

Veebs in the Bar Fight Thread:
*Gets flung over bar, but gets back up, stands on the counter and shouts*

"HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FIST?!! IF YOU HAVEN'T THEN I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU!!!"

*Flings himself at nearest customer, who happens to be a woman from the Salvation Army.

"I've never fought a member of the military before! Perhaps today is a good day to die!"

Poe in the Bar Fight Thread:
But now she's Headless Poo-Smeared Amelia, who kisses Sus with her stumpy neck hole in the back of my Ghostbusters rip-off Ghost-Sucking/Restraining BackVac.

That's the best sentence I've ever written in my life.


Flemingovia:
Do you realise that in nearly two years on this forum, NOBODY has ever snogged me?

It is becuase I am old, isn't it? It's an ageism thing.  :cry: I can change. I can be "hip" and "trendy" and "cool".

I can talk urbanly, if I have to. I can bling, once I find out what a bling is.
 
Veebs in the Televisual Obsession Thread:
The aim of the thread is to discover whether anyone shares your TV tastes. It might help you make new friends, get married, make mortal enemies who swear on the bloody corpse of Jarrek the Slain to cut out your innards and feed them to the Lion-Men of Troldohneth 4!! Die fools! AGHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Veebs in the Stream of Consciousness Thread:
It's officially two weeks since my birthday. Boo!  I want more presents. Give me some presents and I'll send you a PM telling you where the WMDs are in Iraq. I'll give you a clue - they aren't where everyone's already looked. They're buried under a big W. For 'Weapons of Mass Destruction'. They should send Phil Silvers to look for them ::wOOt::

Does anyone watch 'Yu-Gi-Oh!'? What's it about? None of the Japanese stuff makes much sense to me. Beyblades? They're crap - whatever happened to Pogs? Pogs were amazing :(

Why do companies have to rename products? It annoys me when they just change the name of something without asking. I'm still reeling from when they changed Marathon to Snickers, and I was only a toddler when it happened (I think). They should take a poll asking what their products should be renamed as. I think that they did a similar thing when they tried to change the name of Coco Pops. Fools! How could they change Coco Pops. The advert's theme tune wouldn't sound right if they'd changed it  'I've gotta have a bowl of Coco Pops'. I prefer Honey Nut Loops anyway - but I see they've taken the nut out of them now. Buggerists.

If you sprinted at the start of a marathon, could you catch the professional runners up and overtake them? I wonder if anyone's actually done that. I'd like to try, but I'd probably collapse and die after 200 yards. I'd at least be famous. I wonder what the headstone would say...

'Here lies Virtual Boy, he tried to beat Usiwenge Matuspe, but the hare never beats the tortoise'.
I'd arrange for someone lay a wreath spelling 'B******s' underneath every ten days.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. Have a good day!

Poe:
That's all I can think, except that I'm currently afraid of teabags...mainly because one has to be so trusting to use them...I mean, there could be anything in there, and you wouldn't know, because it's ground up and hidden behind filter paper. They could have dehydrated and ground up their garbage, or cat litter, and the unsuspecting teabag user could very well not know what they are drinking. *shudders* No matter how much I love my peppermint tea at night, nothing is worth that risk. Nothing.


IP:
Poe....shhhsh (for once)

We could be on the verge of getting your bush caught in your woolies.

Poe:
:blink: I hope that means something different in Britain than it does over here in the good old US of A.

DD in the Stream of Consciousness Thread:
Actually I think potholes are harder. I mean, what's the deal with potholes? Why call it a "pot" hole? Do you keep a pot in it? No! I mean....come on.....is this mic on?

Rocketman:
i dont think i would like to read all the stream of conciousness peoples posts....it would take too muych thime away from, what i feel nnedsz to be wreittin. i just go where they fingers take me to the keyxz . wouildnt it be kinda funny to see no more keyboareds with no backspace button?> abd wiykdbbt (wouldnt it) be neat to only be ab le to take steps as far away as 2 inches.?im sure theyu may create a thread from what i have poested here...edit:posted/ so i reallyiont knowq what to say sept thank moms, dad, and myu sistahs. dioos mother fugoi./

DD:
Something is horribly wrong! Threads are actually getting replied to! :o

Oh, hi Poe.

Poe:
:P  I soooo wish that smiley were like eighty times bigger.

DD:
Well if wishes were fishes there wouldn't be room for water in the ocean. So :P

Poe:
*moves her index finger* Eeee-urr, eeeu er reee.

DD:
Today i'm a Business Dress Casual-ty.

Poe:
That's okay, DD. I'm sure your mom will take your sheet-toga out of the wash eventually.

DD:
Actually I washed it last night. :P

And it's all good, I got a job! Plus I kinda like wearing nice clothes every once in a while

Poe:
YAY!! YOU GOT THE JOB! I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! *does a dance*

Veebs:
If you're doping up racehorses, I know a guy who knows a guy who slept with a waitress who served a guy who can get people killed for you. Wink wink ;)

DD in the Action Thread:
*Laughs in scorn and goes to play some table tennis with the exhumed corpse of Mary Shelley* Yeah mary, can you beleive it? Trying to give me orders?! Man you're so easy to talk to.

Veebs in the Action Thread:
*Steals a monster truck and invades India*
*Drives out of India with the Indian Army still chasing him, straight into Pakistan*
*Drives out of Pakistan with the Indian Army and the Pakistani Army still chasing him, straight into Kashmir*
*Inadvertantly starts World War Three by parking in a mountain pass and then running off, leaving the two armies stuck in the middle of Kashmir with nothing else to do but fight*


And again...:
*Beams onto the deck of the starship Sensorize, ready for some ass-kickin' action against the fembots of Opportunus Six, only to find that Star Trek is now nothing like it used to be. Damn*
*Beams down to the planet Killonius Twenty-One only to find that there's no Burger King - only a MacDonalds. Damn*
*Travels through a wormhole to the planet Earth, hoping for some good takeout food, only to find that there's nothing left but pasties. Damn*
*Opens up his own fastfood store, only to find that all thr other stores have restocked with top quality food. Damn*
*Shoots himself with a pricing gun. Blam*


One mo time...:
*Laughs at BMA's last post* :lol:
*Sings a medley of Michael Bolton's songs to a metal backing*
*Single handedly climbs K2 wearing a Power Rangers outfit and a BMW medallion that would have broken the Beastie Boys' necks*
*Does that Russian dancing thing, you know the one - you fold your arms and kick out a lot*
*Puts all his junk mail in the toaster and waits for the fire alarm to go off*

Eff it I'll post them all...:
*Dismayed at the actions of other posters, VB journeys to Tibet in search of cut price Jin Seng root for his arthritis. On the way he's assaulted by two tigers and an air-stewardess. He didn't mind the air-stewardess assaulting him, but the tigers were too much. Catches flight home*
*Eats Jin Seng roots and realises it was for curing constipation, not arthritis*
*Spends rest of day on toilet*
 
Veebs Still In the Action Thread. Someone Revive That One Please:
*Invades the North Pacific in the name of Harry, England and Saint George. Huzzah you American and Australian pleibians! Huzzah indeedy!*
*Whips out his weapon - no, not that, It'd concuss people in China if that got whipped out - the ultimate in offensive hardware, the giant king of the ordinance, the grand poobah of the problematic implements: an airhorn. AWOOOGAH!*
*Moves Poe out of his path, to a safe Italian restaurant. I've a hankerin' for some pasta*
*Deafens the colonial rebels, but spares Bloomshire as an honourary Briton, despite him using me as a steed earlier. Take that Charlie Foreigner, ahahahahaha ::wOOt:: *
*Screams at the top of his lungs - "It's a done deal"*
*Hails a cab and goes to the restaurant with Blooms. Stops halfway there to invade France and kick some French people in the knees. Ahahaha! Take that Larry Foreigner. Onward cabbie - take me to the Italian place*

DD in the Action Thread:
*Rubs his head*
*Says "How many times has man heard this type of situation???"

"Where do you want to go" says the male
"I dunno, wherever you want to" says the female
"I asked you first" says the male
"I hate you" says the female. *

Veebs in the Fight To The Death Thread:
For one night only..
THAT ROOTIN' TOOTIN' VIRTUAL BOY VS. THE SAVAGE, TWO-CARS-IN-THE-GARAGE BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE (AND TINY FRIEND)!!
MeversusBearintheBigBlueHouse.jpg

OPA to DD:
I'd love to see you (Sarcasmoblaster set to "rancor") and IP (just being himself) go at it.
 
Veebs:
I once went five rounds with a whippet,
Who said 'My god that's just not cricket,
You kicked my arse good'
I said 'I told you I would!'
And then he said -
'Oh, yeah. You did didn't you'.

Copyright Virtual Boy 2004. All rights reserved, particularly the right to eat exactly what I like - thank you very much Mr. Atkins. Give me back my carbohydrates.
 
Veebs again:
I only like the odd T.Rex song. For example Debora. Case in point: I used to think Bang A Gong was called Pentagon. Which just demonstrates how little I listen to lyrics.

I still think it would've sounded better as Pentagon. Damn you Bolan.

P.S. Thank you for spanking me by the way.
 
Flemingovia:
HELP - Please end a domestic row.

What does the term "toe-rag" actually mean, as in

"You toe-rag, what are you doing sending Turkish Delight to other women?"

I don't know how I missed this one - I'm sorry, Flem! I loved that turkish delight.
 
Flemingovia:
I wonder how the terms "left wing" and "right wing" came to be coined?

Left and right wings of where or what? Who decided?

Imagine the discussions:

Hitler: So then, we will be right, and you can be Left.

Marx (grumbles): I don't see why you have to be right. Why can't we be right?

Thatcher: Shut up, you horrible little oik. We got here first and we bagsied the
Right wing.

Lenin: In a true workers collective, "right" and "Left" are both expressions of the legitimate historical imperitive on the.... (so on for 43 pages)

Hitler: Shut up, Shut up, shut up. Bloody Peasant.

Marx: Fascist!

Hitler: Exactly.
 
Veebs:
I'm watching Charlies Angels again.... the TV show, not the films.
Does anyone else get name-block while watching detective shows? You know when they just refer to people by their last names all the time, like:

QUOTE (Chris Monroe)
Taylor and Irving must have been involved with the diamond heist somehow, and that allowed O'Donnell and Mirsky to take over the company with the funds. Hoskins shot Ryan because Adams needed the dough, and Matthau felt responsible. Oppenheimer created the Automic bomb, and Jagger fronted the Stones. Lee was a general in the Civil War - and Charlie? Does anybody have a clue what I'm talking about anymore?

QUOTE (Charlie's speaker)
I was looking at your breasts the whole time Chris!

I never know what they're talking about in detective shows. That's why I like Columbo and Petrocelli. Columbo calls everyone "sir" and "ma'am", and Petrocelli never does any bloody work - he's always trying to build his house.
 
Veebs:
Bloody hell, I knew a lass I really fancied once who had a b/f (bollock-face). Right annoying sod he was too. I'd have punched his lights out if I'd had the chance, but she was about as interested in me as Peter Pan was in stealing Hook's boat.

The stupid idiot never once thought about stealing the boat did he? If he'd stolen the boat it'd have been over ages before it was. Daft binner.
 
J2S's rules for the kissing booth:
Rules of kissing booth (please ignore it)
1. Please open your lips while kissing
2. Only girls are allowed to wear lipstick on, guys are forbidden.
3. No gay is allowed to kiss here.
4. No camera is allowed here.
5. Please do not bring your husband/wife if you are going to kiss another girl/guy.
6. Do not litter around here. After kissing, please clean up the floor.
7. The kissing booth will not be responsible on any private property (eg: lips, lipstick, siliva, etc) lost and damage.
8. Now, ignore those above.
 
Seriously, we need to find Veebs. I know his first name, and where he went to uni. Facebook can work with that, rigth??
 
Oh, surely! Though I've been trying in vain for a few weeks now to find Syd on there... I doubt he uses it. But maybe. And I semi-remember what Veebs looked like... I'm sure we'd be able to find him with a picture a name and a school.
 
Response from FB stalking attempt numero uno:
C____ J W____February 3, 2011 at 5:19pm
Re: I'm hoping this is the right C____!
sorry wrong C____, I hope you find who you're after!

That was the hot one, HS. No luck. Haven't heard back from squirrel guy yet.
 
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