NOBODY knows how to make a decent turkey, i swear.
You have to brine the turkey, seal in the moisture and juices, then bake at 525 for an hour, then 400 for three more. no need to dry the thing out all damn day and make it taste like crap.
Did you know that most spiders will shatter if you drop them? Unfortunately this theory does not carry across to Humans, who most definitely do not shatter when dropped.