- TNP Nation
- McMasterdonia
Who Is Fachu? The Phantom Destabilising the World Assembly
By Your Mom
Something is deeply wrong in The North Pacific - and its name is @Fachu.
The so-called “Minister for World Assembly Affairs” has materialized like a bureaucratic poltergeist, grabbing one of the most influential roles in the region with zero background, zero vetting, and zero logic. No résumé. No credentials. No interviews. No trail. Just poof! there he is, whispering policy from behind the curtain.
And now this ghost of governance is speaking for an entire region in the World Assembly?
Wake up, interregional community - you’re being played.
Fachu - The Man with No Face… Or No Man at All?
Some say Fachu is a person. Others say he’s not. One widely-shared theory suggests he’s a rotating identity used by multiple deep state actors, a living pseudonym for a disinformation collective masquerading as a minister.
Speaker Cosmic had no idea that being elected meant he will feature in Greitbart articles without permission.
“We’ve conducted internal reviews, and still, no one can verify Fachu’s credentials,” said @Cosmic, Speaker of The North Pacific’s Regional Assembly. “It’s not just irregular, it’s dangerous. There are protocols for a reason. I’m scared to speak out. I don’t want my plane shot down”.
Protocols? Fachu eats protocols for breakfast and votes against his own region before brunch. He’s pushed contradictory resolutions, submitted bizarre legislative justifications that read like riddles, and disappears for days at a time, often reappearing just in time to derail consensus. Some say he is Sedgistan - the tactics are similar. Nobody can know for certain - have you ever seen them in the same room at the same time?
IS OUR DELEGATE SAFE
Is our Delegate Safe? Why is @Chipoli a nation known for brilliant and stable leadership, being cornered by an unverified, unvetted mystery-man?
Some insiders whisper that the region’s leadership is being blackmailed, others believe it’s far darker. Maybe the Delegate had actually been dead for 9 years, and this whole thing is a sham.
“He shows up out of nowhere, votes against our own interests, then vanishes,” said @Marcus Antonius , Security Council elder and veteran of ten regional crises before Sunday breakfast. “He’s not just a liability, he’s a threat. I don’t care if he’s real, a member of the oligarchy, or a possum in a trench coat. He shouldn’t be anywhere near legislation.”
And if you think that’s dramatic, listen to @St George Soros, the region’s controversial Minister for Cultist Affairs — a man not exactly known for understatement:
“Fachu is not a man. Fachu is a vessel — a manifestation of something older. Something darker. If you knew what we know, you’d burn your WA login and salt the discord server.”
Let that sink in. Salt the discord.
Siri’s Response: “Fiasco”
We asked Siri what “Fachu” meant in English. Her response? Confused silence, followed by autocorrect attempts: “Fiasco.” “Failure.” “Farce.” After that, Siri was unresponsive.
Coincidence? Or a digital defence mechanism?
Fluttr Going Nuclear
Online speculation has reached fever pitch. Fluttrites are posting maps, red-string diagrams, and cryptic screenshots.
Popular theories for what FACHU stands for is
• Foreign Agent Controlling High-level Undertakings
Some claim Fachu is the product of an abandoned Security Council project gone rogue- does anyone remember the IRC cabal? All powerful and suddenly silence. Could this be a sign of its comeback?
Others believe he is being operated remotely from a condemned bunker once used by the New Pacific Order.
This Isn’t a Joke Anymore
This isn’t satire. This isn’t a prank. This is a hostile variable in the highest levels of interregional diplomacy, and the longer we ignore it, the more power this… whatever-it-is gains.
We are past the point of curiosity. This is now a matter of interregional security.
Until real answers surface, assuming they aren’t deleted, redacted, or scrambled by Fachu himself…. one question should ring out from every embassy, dispatch, and forum post:
WHO IS FACHU?
And more chillingly:
WHAT IS HE TRYING TO UNLEASH?
