Kobold Science

[MacSalterson]

Introduction - Kobolds and Their Relationship to Science​

There is, among many, a belief that the Kobolds are savages - an uncivilized, xenophobic, and backwards race, barely elevated above the status of nuisance, or pest. They point to the "primitive" tools, the lack of iron-working, the "unrefined" magic, the gleeful use of poisons and traps, and the tendency for Kobolds who have taken up residence in cities to claim cellars and basements, a supposed mirror of their maze-like warrens in their homelands. Despite this, at least within the Freeholds, Kobolds have taken to studying and theorizing on the world around them - its aspects, its mechanics, its fundamental principles and axioms. A burgeoning class of these apparent academics have engaged with the various sciences with the curiosity and glee of unsupervised cats in a fish market. Some firmly entrench themselves in the study of a particular science, while others dash from subject to subject with a rapidity and abandon that would blur the lines to any outsider. But, were an outsider to point out the blurring of these lines, they would leave any Kobold baffled. Even further, if one were to suggest that there was a delineation between the realms religion, philosophy, and science, and that they were distinct ontologies, you would be regarded as if you had just grown a second head, or possibly enthusiastically invited them along for a fun day of spitting on grandmothers and children. Even once you explain the definition of an ontology to a Kobold, which they might, admittedly, have initially mistaken as things you'd fry with mushrooms and fiddleheads, they would still regard this claim with utter confusion. To the Kobolds, the studies of Religion, Science, and Philosophy are inherently interwoven, if not indistinguishable from one another. All concepts follow from the core tenets of the Triadic Cult, all mechanisms and phenomena can be explained within it and all subjects are harmonious with it. In some aspects, this lends itself well to the flexibility of thinking typically prized in scientists and philosophers. In other aspects, it can result in conclusions and assumptions that can border on the comically absurd, and arguments that last for years.

Part I - Fallacies in Physics​

There are, of course, three fundamental forces in the world. Every good Kobold knows that. There is the force of Light - the fundamental drive to repulse, change, and obliterate things, to tear apart that which is cohesive and fling it every which way - that follows from the Sky Above and its incarnation in Bahamut. There is the force of Oblivion - the fundamental drive to coagulate and coalesce, to draw all things to a standstill and mire them in entropy - that follows from the Void Below and its incarnation in Tiamat. And then there is the force of Darkness - which is neither light nor oblivion, and is the fundamental drive to continue on the present course of things, to stay and slow the constant pulling between Light and Oblivion - that follows from the World and its incarnation in itself. These three forces explain the entirety of the world and how it works, and thus are established, unchangeable fact, obviously. Kobolds may quibble back and forth on the specifics of how they interact, and what force determines how something or someone will act, but clearly these forces are sufficient for explaining all of existence. At least, to most Kobolds.

The room, already quite small, was packed full - a dozen or two kobolds standing and sitting elbow to elbow, jostling each other, rifling through writings and diagrams and excitedly engaging in debate, creating an atmosphere of colorful chaos. Discoveries and experiments in physics were bandied about and notes were compared, contrasted, critiqued, and crumpled. Eventually, two of the more senior Kobolds in the room butted heads and the focus in the room quickly shifted to them. It's not quite clear how the argument started, something to do with the force that allows birds and dragons and bugs to fly. Said one of the pair, chuffing in smug derision, "Clearly, the mechanism of flight is powered by the force of Light, you imbecile! What else but the repulsive force would allow a creature to stay aloft? All the flying creatures have a primary aspect of Light - you can see this in how they act! Even the blessed dragons, those of them that fly, are almost universally those associated with light!"

The crowd murmured. That was a good point, they thought. This argument, or variations on a theme, were a constant.

The other shook their head, feathers swishing, "No, no, no. Perhaps, the initial thrust off the ground taps into the force of Light. That is clearly repulsive and you are right in that matter. But the act of flight, and staying in flight, is clearly reliant on the force of Darkness! Once aloft, Darkness takes precedence to keep them as they are, and landing relies on the coalescing force, thus balancing the equation. Under your theory, what takes flight would never be able to land again due to the repulsive force and would constantly gain in height, even if struck dead by an arrow or stone. I'm sure we have all observed here how birds do not, in fact, remain in flight once struck dead or even unconscious?"

The crowd nodded, murmuring a little louder. An elegant riposte, indeed. The first Kobold looked incensed.

A third Kobold butted in, holding up a finger, "A-ha! You forget, comrade, that your explanation does not account for that phenomenon either! Clearly, both of you are missing something fundamental in your explanations. I would posit that there is some universal counter-acting force of Oblivion at play here that flying things overpower with the repulsive force in order to take flight. It simply appears to be the force of Darkness keeping them aloft as Light and Oblivion, acting constantly, against each other, prevents them from disappearing into the sky or falling to the ground, recalling the battle that formed the world. Once they are rendered unconscious or dead, they cannot exert that repulsive force, as it has left their body, and they are brought back to the ground by the coalescing force."

Here there was excited chatter. This was a novel idea, and it fit neatly within the bounds of the established laws. The first two Kobolds seemed genuinely taken aback as they considered this. The second one spoke up again, "Let's say your theory holds water. How would we observe this coalescing force, if it's so constant? Clearly none of us feel it at the present. Surely its existence would be evident in some manner."

The third Kobold thought for a moment, before excitedly exclaiming, "I know! The coalescing force exerts itself in reaction to the repulsive force. Observe,"

They jumped in place, landing back down on the floor neatly, "Though we cannot fly, we can exert a repulsive force and temporarily remain off the ground. However, we come back down quickly. This is because, as we are flightless, we cannot exert the repulsive force constantly."

The Kobolds in the room all nodded. Some even tested this themselves, jumping up and down. The two Kobolds who had started the argument were silent, obviously working through the theory in their heads. The first one tapped their snout a few times, brow furrowed, obviously struck by a complication in the logic. They spoke, "Can this theory account for gliding? That is to say, does it explain our ability to slow our falls and travel through the air without flying?"

With this, the room erupted into a roar of excited debate again. Was gliding different than flight? Obviously, but how? Kobolds jostled towards the walls to begin scrawling theories with charcoal to explain the mechanics of gliding. Several dashed outside, clamoring with each other to find a suitably tall tower or cliff to jump off of, in order to test gliding with this newfound theory in mind. The third Kobold, whose name was Yesãw of clan Nùtán, smiled, triumphant in their theory's popularity.