Regional sports: dissing Simone

[Simone]

All replies in this format: Simone is _____ that _____.

No repeats and PG-13 please. Note that my IC pronoun is "it".

Example: Simone is so furry that after it finishes shaving, it has to start again.

 

[Great Bights Mum]

Simone is so large that it is the OG of Fat Bear Week

 

[Reagan]

Simone is so out of touch that it thinks "going viral" means catching a cold.

 

[Ayuzh]

Simone is so hairy that he is called a bear