On Coming Back

Kaschovia

Under the Sakura
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Pronouns
He/Him/His
TNP Nation
Kaschovia
Discord
kaschovia
Hello! :D

Since early 2016, which is unbelievably over 6 years ago now, my home in NationStates has been The North Pacific. I remember joining the old forum all those years ago and feeling the same overwhelming sense of greatness about the region and the community here as I do to this day. I've taken most of my enjoyment in this game from sharing experiences with other members of the community as they face some of the same highs and lows as myself: not wanting to mess up my first NPA test operation with the help of Gladio and... messing it up, spamming the forums with the ole' spam crew (Syrixia, Aerilia, IndieGirl, etc), desperately wanting to organise a regional football tournament, which I think I ended up somewhat successfully doing alongside MadJack, meeting the first few people that helped me out here (Bootsie, Frozentophat, and so many more), reading the issues I'd authored and answering them myself, and so much more that I'm sure I will remember after I post this. Admittedly, real life has taken precedent more than I'd have wanted, but every time I revive my nation and log back into the forums, I still feel the same rush of potential and excitement as I did back then, that this time I will do more for the region. More for myself. And honestly? Each time I throw myself back into the fray I have felt that I needed to dial back my expectations and my ambitions more and more. At an earlier point in my time on NationStates, the tales of the legends that dominate the game's history sparked a flame of ambition within me so high I chased it around, trying to use it as fuel before I even knew how to harness it properly. Tales of great leaders and delegates, golden eras of creativity, forum activity, and military prowess. Tales of nations so ancient they seem almost like myths. I look back on the earliest years of my time in The North Pacific and see someone who wanted to write my own tales, eyes brightened with admiration and inspiration, often from the older nations I spoke to here in the region.

But as I have grown, I've found myself wondering if that ambition was misplaced along the way. I'd spent so much time trying to live up to those tales and myths that I'd lost touch with the wonder and greatness of the very thing I was a part of. I had forgotten what it meant to feel that sense of wonder and excitement about the things I really enjoyed rather than having something to prove. And with time, I started to see NationStates as a vessel for that feeling again, despite not being active in any meaningful way in the region. I'd regularly predict who'd be Delegate when I checked the region page again in a few months and always made myself laugh when my prediction was ridiculously wrong. I'd see that some of the people I used to think would never leave had now left and were no longer active, but then be delighted when new names took up the cabinet and remember my days in each of the ministries. I'd see how many more resolutions had been squeezed into the WA, and remembered the effort it took just to have my only ever attempt at a resolution so far be defeated, but it didn't matter because I'd never experienced the anticipation and excitement for a text-based game as much as I did during those nerve-wracking days of the vote. Or my first proper Z-Day experience, trying my best amidst the chaos of the Discord messages to help out our faction. It's things like this that make me remember why I started playing. The interactions with people, the moments of uncertainty and change that put everyone on the edge of their seats, and the rewarding moments of success and in some cases defeat that makes the game what it is.

So, it's my hope that as I make another return not just to the community but to the game in general, I can continue to make more incredible and hilarious memories and help others have those experiences too. I really don't want this to turn into another hiatus, because the people I have come to know here and the memories I have made continue to draw me back in and keep me going. I have so much respect and admiration for the community and the things that have been accomplished all for the sake of a niche text-based politics game, so here we all are, and here we've all stayed. I'd love to hear some of the moments that have kept you here if you're willing to share them because it's likely that many will relate. I know a lot of people reading this may probably have arrived after my most recent period of inactivity, so it's nice to meet you, and I hope you feel the same sense of greatness and history here that I did upon joining and still do now. I know for a lot of people this is very simply a text-based browser game, but I've spent a lot of time here and now it just feels like more than that, given the experience I've had.

So, with that said, It's honestly really good to be back and I look forward to seeing what else is going to happen in the future!
 
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