[SC - WITHDRAWN] Condemn Baggieland

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Caius

Caius

The Minister
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Condemn Baggieland
Category: Condemnation | Target: Baggieland
Proposed by: The Forest of Aeneas | Onsite Topic​

The World Assembly:

Introducing Baggieland as a nation ruled de jure by King Alswitch, who is mostly a benevolent and laid-back ruler but has delegated most of his authority to a much less benevolent despot, Queen Alma, who to this day rules over Baggieland with an iron fist and a pervasive cult of personality surrounding the royal couple;

Further exposing Baggieland as the home of some of the most secretive and malicious intelligence agencies, which have, perhaps due to the endless paranoia and brutality of Baggieland's leadership, been responsible for numerous covert mass infiltration missions of thousands of innocent nations, relying on the most cruel and barbarous means to achieve petty ends, and whose shocking actions have, until now, been ignored by this most excellent assembly;

Bemoaning Baggieland’s launching of Mission #820: These Heels Weren’t Made For Working, in which Baggielandian agents coerced employers into requiring female employees to wear high-heeled shoes specifically designed to cause arthritis, before posing as employees subject of such arthritis to encourage nations to prosecute employers victim of Baggielandian coercion in an attempt to crash world manufacturing sectors;

Observing Baggieland’s subsequent launching of Mission #831: Give Us A Break, Leader, where Baggielandian agents ran heavily biased polls to paint national leaders as the best of their nations and then used these polls to urge national leaders to deprive trillions of multiversal citizens of basic political rights;

Intensely sickened by the thousands of massacres of innocent soldiers following kangaroo trials for supposed ‘military desertion’ systematically carried out by Baggielandian agents posing as military generals, and shocked that these agents then used these massacres to manipulate national leaders to permit military generals to carry out such atrocities in the future, all part of an unforgivable attempt to boost authoritarianism and the arms trade across the multiverse named Mission #1431: Just Deserts for Desertion?;

Noticing Baggielandian agents’ brutal, systematic brainwashing of the gullible nieces of thousands of national leaders into harassing their Secretaries of State over excessive use of a certain punctuation mark and then encouraging national leaders to drop formality in public communication, a mission euphemised as Mission #1447: Yet Another Issue About Periods;

Greatly annoyed that Baggieland has extended its malice to destroying the environments of other nations, best shown through Mission #1473: Sandbagging, where Baggielandian agents mined foreign seabeds to a deliberately environmentally destructive extent to coerce governments into allowing Baggielandian agents to destroy deserts with their funding;

Denouncing how Baggielandian intelligence agents have gone as far as repeatedly helping intelligence agencies of countless other nations engage in their own mass infiltration missions, advising those intelligence agencies on manipulation of national leaders, impersonation, practicality, the structure and organisation of missions, and the reporting of mission success, inter alia;

Concerned by Baggieland’s attempts at sportswashing to cover up for its heinous acts while still being unable to actually act with goodwill;
  1. Beating numerous innocent nations merely trying to get involved in international sports to revel in its 'victories' in numerous competitions, like coming runner-up in and later winning the Rugby Union World Cup, and winning one competition and coming runner-up in two competitions of the NationStates Tennis Tour (in which Baggielandian Tennis player Goran McEnroe unjustifiably sprayed wolf repellent at a five-year-old child).

  2. Hosting international sporting events, like the Three Degrees Open tournament of the NationStates Tennis Tour, and the Aussie Rules World Cup (which Baggieland helped establish with Sylestone and hosted three times, and which remains the most prominent international Aussie Rules tournament to this day), only to permit piracy that may or may not target foreign sports players by the submarine HMS Onslaught (which once plundered a ship from Electrum for Olympic medals), and force foreign sports players to eat lasagna using a spoon, branded as somehow 'not as uncouth as it sounds'.
Therefore, believing that Baggieland's wanton, abhorrent actions have caused mayhem beyond mortal control across this grand realm, and further seeking to rid Baggieland of the helpful and benevolent image it still tries to maintain to ensure that no member state attempts to emulate the dark legacy of this nation ever again;

Hereby condemns Baggieland.
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