Cretox
Somehow, Palpatine has returned
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- Cretox#0125
Greitbart: The Hunt for the Missing Endorsements
Many things have gone missing since alleged citizen @St George (if that is his real name) was carried into the Delegate's office on a sedan chair: freedom, success, patriotism, rum, the de facto classification of RPers as second-class citizens. But no shortage has been more evident or more alarming than the sudden disappearance of endorsements from nations throughout The North Pacific.
You don't need to be a genius to figure out the cause of the recent shortage (and it's actually much easier to understand if you're not that smart): various government bodies, led by the Security Council, have reportedly1 been covertly stealing countless endorsements from innocent nations while said nations are resigned from the World Assembly and therefore unable to track their endorsement counts in real time. This nefarious scheme has targeted everyone from random RMB posters to soldiers of the North Pacific Army, and has allowed the region's government to orchestrate a backdoor nullification of the Constitution that they couldn't accomplish via their tyrannical "policies" and "agenda." With the G-people stockpiling endorsements like @Hulldom collecting brazen conflicts of interest, few endorsements remain for normal freedom-loving citizens.
Were the government and its SC vanguard vacuuming up all those endorsements for some useful end, such as to launch a long-overdue invasion of Europeia or kidnap the editorial board of The Northern Lights, such a scheme may be understandable. Sadly, their aims are far more predictable: the government is, most likely, preparing for a mass coordinated attack to neuter the remnants of the endorsement-holding public, repeal the Bill of Rights, and bring about the communist fantasy dictatorship that Madjack has dreamed of ever since he was a little boy peddling bootleg marijuana outside an abortion clinic on the streets of Magicality City.
At this point, anyone who still doubts that Madjack is a closet imperialist-francoist-communist-moralist-dictator hellbent on gutting the Legal Code and transforming TNP into his own personal socialist fiefdom need only take a look at this sketch for a proposed revision to the office's seal found on the Delegate's desk by a Greitbart operative disguised as a fashion reporter:
Madjack apologists may also care to attempt to explain this first page of a draft of his autobiography, which the Delegate carelessly dropped during a campaign event last December:
The liberal elite, of course, have resorted to their usual platitudes about the supposedly hysterical and overreacting patriots who dare question them, with Vice Delegate and closet President of the Soviet Fan Club @Sir Kasto reporting that average regional endorsement levels have experienced no sudden drop- a shallow claim that transparently attempts to delegitimize the good-faith concerns of freedom-loving citizens by reframing them as the paranoid ramblings of insane conspiracy theorists.
Others blindly following the liberal herd who believe that regional endorsement counts aren't being directly tampered with by the government and are largely determined by free-market-esque forces2 need only look up from their farmer's market baskets long enough to see the following Google Maps screenshots of an endorsement-selling facility. In the first, taken last July, one such facility appears to be fully operational in Stamford, Connecticut:
In the second image, taken just yesterday, the warehouse appears to have been demolished to make way for some cockamamie green energy project:
While it may seem as though all hope is lost, a great opportunity may be upon us. The tyrannical government, which has systematically stripped our freedoms until TNP is barely recognizable, is now attacking the most fundamental freedom of all: the right to have endorsements. The Bill of Rights clearly wasn't intended to allow nations to stare at their little number going up so their brains release the happy chemicals; it was written principally so TNPers would have a perennial defense against government overreach.
The frantic rate at which our government is stockpiling endorsements is the greatest sign of a democracy in peril since women gained the right to vote, and is a clarion call for TNP's patriotic citizens to prepare for all-out war against our corrupt government. All our region's endorsements combined should be more than sufficient to take down our governmental bodies. For those who think that a bunch of "lunatics" couldn't possibly stand a chance against the most powerful region in the game, the history books overflow with examples of small bands of seemingly outmatched freedom fighters triumphing against an overwhelming force. Take the heroic Ewoks, who, as immortalized in the 1983 documentary Return of the Jedi, took down the Empire's seemingly impervious war machines with little more than a few tree branches and their own wits. There's no reason why modern-day TNP patriots can't similarly overcome the forces of Dictator Madjack with clever contraptions made from widely available goods. For example, a well-placed trampoline could easily catch and redirect any shells fired by one of the NPA's tanks.
At this time of great peril, it's up to us, the citizens of The North Pacific, to lead the crusade against the overbearing nanny state of the St George administration.
1All our information comes straight from our gut, not the so-called "journalists" clearly coerced to work as the government's propaganda arm.
2It's common knowledge that free-market justifications are only accurate when explaining why wage suppression is a good thing or why factories should be allowed to pump as many toxic chemicals as they want into the atmosphere.
Disclaimer:
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