Greitbart Opinion: The Case for Banning RolePlay

[Cretox]

Greitbart Opinion: The Case for Banning RolePlay​

Ever since @St George saddled up his high horse and started riding a hole through our Constitution seven months ago with the momentum of @Sir Kasto sprinting toward his CPSU membership card, few things have changed more in our region than the increasing prevalence and acceptance of RolePlay. It's high time to put a stop to it.

It's simply astounding how rapidly a group that has remained- along with perverts, hippies, environmentalists, and moralist defenders- at the far fringes of TNP society for centuries has rewritten social norms so that RP is no longer considered unnatural, but normal or even good, its permanent integration into our institutions inevitable. RPers have the green light to romp through our armed forces, serve at all levels of government, and post on the regional Discord.

Listen closely, and you'll hear the starting gun signaling TNP’s decline (unless Madjack already implemented a background check on the sale of starting guns prior to this article’s publication). It's a sound that will not only invite our enemies, such as Europeia, to our gates, but very likely incur the wrath of the Almighty. The heavenly consequences of normalizing this deviant behavior could include- but are by no means be limited to- meteor showers, famine, plague, swarms of locusts, the onset of a new ice age, a black hole materializing to swallow the Earth, or, in a worst-case scenario, the re-election of Madjack to a third Delegate term.

Do not doubt that we have God’s attention here. That RP is a manifestation of pure evil is indisputable. The liberal media and the many proponents of the RolePlay agenda have somehow convinced many TNPers that RP is innocuous, even a good thing. However, one need simply study this recent photograph of Eras, where the fires of Hell can clearly be seen blazing across the landscape:

Note: Fires have been enlarged to make it appear as though they actually exist.​

That hellish fires would begin to engulf wicked RolePlay nations is no surprise, as RPers have long been closely associated with a range of crimes. Evidence¹ suggests that RPers are inherently more prone to shoplift, take candy from babies, counterfeit money, and vacation in The East Pacific than the TNP population at large. Research² has shown that RPers hate freedom, democracy, TNP, the Constitution, and Hollywood depictions of elite groups of NPA commandos parachuting into nebulously identified enemy regions and kicking the crap out of bumbling bad guys screaming in languages indecipherable to true TNPers. To legitimize RP entry into mainstream regional culture by allowing RPers to have the same rights as everyone else for their sole benefit is to validate every element of their nefarious criminal lifestyle.

But we need not wait for the worst effects of RP to become evident: the continued existence of RolePlay has already corresponded with a host of troubling regional developments, including higher property taxes, inflation, spiking gas prices, and the loss of manufacturing jobs. Additionally, as the number of TNPers participating in RP has increased, the rate of murders, nuclear power plant explosions, and people spontaneously combusting have skyrocketed, as displayed in the chart below:

Note: All facts made up.​

In addition to gutting the region’s bedrock culture like a Madjack stimulus plan, the permitting of RolePlay presents an undeniable regional security threat, as this fringe behavior- punishable by banjection in such stalwart regions as the Confederation of Corrupt Dictators- can be perceived by our enemies as a capitulation to a rogue counter-culture movement, reflecting a regional weakness that is all but an invitation to invade.

We need to make our stance on this subject clear, and outlaw RolePlay in The North Pacific. The liberal political establishment must be stopped.

¹There's no evidence.
²There's no research. It's more like a gut feeling.

Disclaimer:
Greitbart is satirical in nature. Statements made in Greitbart articles are not representative of the individuals named in those articles. If you're offended by any of these articles, don't be. It's a joke.

 

[Xentherida]

Agreed! I hope we ban these disgusting R*leplayers soon!! GOD BLESS!!

 

[Tim Kasto]

I am offended

 

[Cretox]

I am offended

Silence, commie

 

[Tim Kasto]

Silence, commie

As a NATO fanboy this offends me even more.

 

[Cretox]

As a NATO fanboy this offends me even more.

NATO's a bunch of communists. Makes total sense you shill for them

 

[Tardine]

Greitbart Opinion: The Case for Banning RolePlay​

Ever since @St George saddled up his high horse and started riding a hole through our Constitution seven months ago with the momentum of @Sir Kasto sprinting toward his CPSU membership card, few things have changed more in our region than the increasing prevalence and acceptance of RolePlay. It's high time to put a stop to it.

It's simply astounding how rapidly a group that has remained- along with perverts, hippies, environmentalists, and moralist defenders- at the far fringes of TNP society for centuries has rewritten social norms so that RP is no longer considered unnatural, but normal or even good, its permanent integration into our institutions inevitable. RPers have the green light to romp through our armed forces, serve at all levels of government, and post on the regional Discord.

Listen closely, and you'll hear the starting gun signaling TNP’s decline (unless Madjack already implemented a background check on the sale of starting guns prior to this article’s publication). It's a sound that will not only invite our enemies, such as Europeia, to our gates, but very likely incur the wrath of the Almighty. The heavenly consequences of normalizing this deviant behavior could include- but are by no means be limited to- meteor showers, famine, plague, swarms of locusts, the onset of a new ice age, a black hole materializing to swallow the Earth, or, in a worst-case scenario, the re-election of Madjack to a third Delegate term.

Do not doubt that we have God’s attention here. That RP is a manifestation of pure evil is indisputable. The liberal media and the many proponents of the RolePlay agenda have somehow convinced many TNPers that RP is innocuous, even a good thing. However, one need simply study this recent photograph of Eras, where the fires of Hell can clearly be seen blazing across the landscape:

Note: Fires have been enlarged to make it appear as though they actually exist.​

That hellish fires would begin to engulf wicked RolePlay nations is no surprise, as RPers have long been closely associated with a range of crimes. Evidence¹ suggests that RPers are inherently more prone to shoplift, take candy from babies, counterfeit money, and vacation in The East Pacific than the TNP population at large. Research² has shown that RPers hate freedom, democracy, TNP, the Constitution, and Hollywood depictions of elite groups of NPA commandos parachuting into nebulously identified enemy regions and kicking the crap out of bumbling bad guys screaming in languages indecipherable to true TNPers. To legitimize RP entry into mainstream regional culture by allowing RPers to have the same rights as everyone else for their sole benefit is to validate every element of their nefarious criminal lifestyle.

But we need not wait for the worst effects of RP to become evident: the continued existence of RolePlay has already corresponded with a host of troubling regional developments, including higher property taxes, inflation, spiking gas prices, and the loss of manufacturing jobs. Additionally, as the number of TNPers participating in RP has increased, the rate of murders, nuclear power plant explosions, and people spontaneously combusting have skyrocketed, as displayed in the chart below:

Note: All facts made up.​

In addition to gutting the nation’s bedrock culture like a Madjack stimulus plan, the permitting of RolePlay presents an undeniable regional security threat, as this fringe behavior- punishable by banjection in such stalwart regions as the Confederation of Corrupt Dictators- can be perceived by our enemies as a capitulation to a rogue counter-culture movement, reflecting a regional weakness that is all but an invitation to invade.

We need to make our made their sentiments on this subject clear, and outlaw RolePlay in The North Pacific. The liberal political establishment must be stopped.

¹There's no evidence.
²There's no research. It's more like a gut feeling.

Disclaimer:
Greitbart is satirical in nature. Statements made in Greitbart articles are not representative of the individuals named in those articles. If you're offended by any of these articles, don't be. It's a joke.

My nation is hell and I'm proud of it

 

[Yamantau Em]

To the guillotine with all of these degenerates

 

[Andrenne]

I'm an RPer this is all true I love kicking babies and setting nursing homes on fire and committing tax fraud (last thing unrelated to being an RPer).

 

[Great Bights Mum]

"Daily Number of Spontaneous Combustions (Self Reported)"

 

[Syrixia]

This dangerous and harmful misinformation must end. We must ban Gr*itbart immediately and arrest all its writing staff for treason against our democracy. Reblog me on Tumblr, uwu.

 

[Fili]

Rolepl*ying contradicts position of neptune in solar system, and constitution of Sealand, so it definitely should be banned.

 

[Prydania]

Poster courtesy of @Kyle