Greitbart: The Great Flag Debate
While many regional governments across the world of NationStates cannot go a week without a legislative meltdown, the esteemed Regional Assembly of The North Pacific rises above its counterparts and passes laws with relative ease. That all changed recently with a seemingly simple piece of legislation: one that proposed changing the flag of the greatest military power of our land, the glorious North Pacific Army.
The proposal was simple, according to Citizen Nubt II of Mortipal (hereinafter referred to as Nubt), the bill's author. "The gold stands for TNP's cultural and financial wealth, and the eagle is the symbol that TNP soars high above all other regions and Pacifics", they said in front of the joined assembly.
We at Greitbart wholeheartedly agree with Nubt. Two glorious powers in real life have utilized the eagle as a symbol of their greatness: The United States ('Murica if you will) and 1940's Germany, and they in no way have been responsible for any awful atrocities in their past! In fact, we at Greitbart think that an eagle is not enough! Where is the hammer and sickle? We aren't The North Pacific without our rum, and uh...stuff to build and farm with...don't know how we're gonna use those symbols but damnit we nevertheless need them in our Legal Code!
Greitbart's Proposed Regional Symbols
Where the bill fell apart was in its execution. It was apparent that Nubt had little understanding of our mighty NPA and its symbols. When we go out and rip regions of their sovereignty like a boss, we need to do it in style.
"Personally, I want to fly a flag of Donald Trump's second favorite son-in-law, but they won't let me," said Gorundu of the change. We definitely understand their frustration and encourage them to fly the flag of a long-deceased guinea pig instead. For the record, that probably is less creepy than Kushner anyway.
Nubt II of Mortipal Asking Sil To Explain "Law" To Them
Sil Dorsett, a helpful citizen, could only facepalm as the poor citizen stumbled in their understanding of the law.
"I think I may not understand what you're trying to do, Nubt II of Mortipal. We already have a flag, you are the only one to motion for a vote, and you need more votes to get an immediate vote," they explained while beating their head against the wall.
Sil Dorsett Attempting To Help Their Fellow Citizen, With No Avail
In the end, it appears that Nubt will not go forward with their ambitious bill. As ashamed as we are to see the bill go up in flames, we applaud the Regional Assembly for doing what it does best: discouraging new citizens from participating in the law and making a difference they believe in.
For those hungry for more, we will keep an eye on the Assembly and report when another fire has erupted from its chambers.
Until then, this has been Bootsie De Luca, and thank you for reading Greitbart News.
Disclaimer:
This article is satirical in nature. Beliefs held in this article are not representative of the individuals named in this article. If you're offended by any of these statements, don't be. It's a joke.
It's really cool to see what people think of others from a different--funny--point of view...