[WV] Meditations on First Light

Wonderess

"I will be true to you whatever comes."
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Meditations on First Light
I have decided to begin an experiment based on Rene Descartes's Meditations on First Philosophy. A worldview or means of understanding all that we experience must have a beginning, a foundation, as well as an end, and so this meditation will strive to explore that beginning and end because where we start drastically defines where it is we go and finally where we end up. I will warn newcomers to my literature that I veer more towards the poetic and mystical voice of philosophy instead of the more analytic variety. Regardless it should be a grand time!

Avenue the 1st
Looking about, there is one reality which claws at me and enters my vision first and foremost. It is that overwhelming imperfection that remains in me. So great is the wonder of the world in all its mysteries and facets and yet my perception of it can not even reach the fullness of its grandeur. My mind speaks of good and yet it evades me. My heart sings of love and yet all attempts fall short of its fullness. There is order within me and yet my acts deceive that order for lesser things which fulfill not and only lead to further sorrows. I a small man remain trapped in a great forest in which the trees one by one are seen yet the wholeness of the forest remains eternally lost upon me. My finitude wares at me like the desert sands upon the rocky face. My minds searches through concept and ideal to find that which is better than all of this and so it rests upon the ideal in its ultimate form. Truly mine eyes evade such perfection and all senses fail in finding it, yet I have found it within myself. My littleness is great, and yet there remains something yet greater by which these visions of greatness come forth. It is a subject always right out of reach. I round the hallway's corner and there it hides beyond the very next doorway. As I walk the royal gardens, those sweet roses hide the subject yet again. It is right there with me and yet always beyond any capture of my five senses.

This subject is greater than any ideal for it must be from this subject by which the ideal comes. My throws of wonder paralyze me for so great is the world in comparison to my littleness, and yet this wonder too was generated. Only something greater than all of these things could have been their origin. Such faulty men speak poetry as mystical and wise as any other and the stains of their disfunction has not stained their art. So pure then is the source of their gifts even as their very habits and inclinations fail them. Purest of pure and wondrous of wonder is this elusive subject as I wrestle with my own fault. It is by means of this subject's acts and effects that I rise above my stupor. So does the mystery of life's essences demand. I wander all day by the guidance of my own sight and plots of the mind, yet foolish am I to deny those greater components of my existence. To reduce the universal grandeur to mere facts and finite cause would surely be inadequate in its explanations for a mystery requires yet another mystery to become acquainted with my thoughts. So too does greater require even greater as explanation or spirit even more spirit.

I was trapped in myself and the limits of my judgement destroyed me from within. So charitable were those mysteries and wonders which saved me from myself by allowing me to ponder that which greater than my error filled existence. No crown is unbreakable, nor is any kingship forever. So my yearnings for eternal things set me on a path to a far away land. This land was filled with greater questions, new insights, and means to better view myself in the mirror day by day. My senses were never enough to in vision all that is. Rather I see now that it was vision outside of myself all along that provided further answers. Mystery and glory now carries me forth to new realms and it is that subject who has sent the chariot. Standing is now held and so first steps can now be taken like those of a young child. May this journey take me to first light, for now I have chosen in my weakness and recognition of fault to be trusting in that generous yet mysterious subject. This subject has become my God and now have I completed the march down Avenue the 1st.
 
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Avenue the 2nd
These insights have nourished me and the spirit present here, but still I must come to know if this journey is worth the continuation. What is it that draws me forward if there be anything at all. Is not the world around me enough, the fullness of my fulfillment and purpose. Look, for I have senses and a body which lives off of this bountiful land. Why then must I search beyond it if satisfaction is already mine in the here and now? These questions together trouble me for it seems this pursuit is superfluous to what is. The spark of a new road ahead began to fade, and so I turned away from the avenues to return to my former way. Just then the Star of the North Winds turned to me from the sky and spoke of wonderful things so that my questions might be answered.

She spoke of a different part of me that was not mere body. It was the center of all my hopes and curiosities, the ideals and the imagined worlds, the desire for great things, and the cause of all that moved the heart. It was these things that beckoned towards more than what could ever be found here below among the fields and mountains. There was a calling which pulled on every soul so that each may come to know what is greater than the mere parts of this universe. God who had revealed Himself to me before was indeed the beginning and the end of all these things and so it was placed in us to pursue more than all that we could see with the eyes. It was by muse and abstraction that we came to Him and that we came to ourselves. The pursuit was not superfluous nor was it some extra thing. It was the way of humanity to go beyond mere world and matter and seek the truth of higher things as they silently mold and transform us into something greater than we now are.

This light calmed me as my questions were all being answered together by one glorious wave of the star's light. New passion stirred in me and so I was able to move forward once again. There were so many things ahead to discover and take into my heart and it is by the pursuit of greater things that I was to do so for purpose and the highest of things are enough as ultimate ends so that these smaller revelations along the road are made justified. All these great things called to me so that I may know and befriend them, and it is that greatest of all in my newly acquainted Lord that I press on from first things to final cause. In the end the star has opened a new gate for me, and I was unworthy to decline this avenue given in charity for no cost was asked of me. So came to be this great gift to me a seeker, Avenue the 2nd.
 
This is unique! I read the thread you posted. It's interesting... very thoughtful and solid thinking. Thanks for shearing here. As Philosophy is the study of common and fundamental questions such as existence, reason, knowledge, values, mind and language.
 
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