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This publication is a part of the TNP WondoVerse.
Meditations on First Light
Avenue the 1st
Looking about, there is one reality which claws at me and enters my vision first and foremost. It is that overwhelming imperfection that remains in me. So great is the wonder of the world in all its mysteries and facets and yet my perception of it can not even reach the fullness of its grandeur. My mind speaks of good and yet it evades me. My heart sings of love and yet all attempts fall short of its fullness. There is order within me and yet my acts deceive that order for lesser things which fulfill not and only lead to further sorrows. I a small man remain trapped in a great forest in which the trees one by one are seen yet the wholeness of the forest remains eternally lost upon me. My finitude wares at me like the desert sands upon the rocky face. My minds searches through concept and ideal to find that which is better than all of this and so it rests upon the ideal in its ultimate form. Truly mine eyes evade such perfection and all senses fail in finding it, yet I have found it within myself. My littleness is great, and yet there remains something yet greater by which these visions of greatness come forth. It is a subject always right out of reach. I round the hallway's corner and there it hides beyond the very next doorway. As I walk the royal gardens, those sweet roses hide the subject yet again. It is right there with me and yet always beyond any capture of my five senses.This subject is greater than any ideal for it must be from this subject by which the ideal comes. My throws of wonder paralyze me for so great is the world in comparison to my littleness, and yet this wonder too was generated. Only something greater than all of these things could have been their origin. Such faulty men speak poetry as mystical and wise as any other and the stains of their disfunction has not stained their art. So pure then is the source of their gifts even as their very habits and inclinations fail them. Purest of pure and wondrous of wonder is this elusive subject as I wrestle with my own fault. It is by means of this subject's acts and effects that I rise above my stupor. So does the mystery of life's essences demand. I wander all day by the guidance of my own sight and plots of the mind, yet foolish am I to deny those greater components of my existence. To reduce the universal grandeur to mere facts and finite cause would surely be inadequate in its explanations for a mystery requires yet another mystery to become acquainted with my thoughts. So too does greater require even greater as explanation or spirit even more spirit.
I was trapped in myself and the limits of my judgement destroyed me from within. So charitable were those mysteries and wonders which saved me from myself by allowing me to ponder that which greater than my error filled existence. No crown is unbreakable, nor is any kingship forever. So my yearnings for eternal things set me on a path to a far away land. This land was filled with greater questions, new insights, and means to better view myself in the mirror day by day. My senses were never enough to in vision all that is. Rather I see now that it was vision outside of myself all along that provided further answers. Mystery and glory now carries me forth to new realms and it is that subject who has sent the chariot. Standing is now held and so first steps can now be taken like those of a young child. May this journey take me to first light, for now I have chosen in my weakness and recognition of fault to be trusting in that generous yet mysterious subject. This subject has become my God and now have I completed the march down Avenue the 1st.
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