August 31, 2020
By Zukchiva
For anyone who stalks the NationStates Gameplay Forums, you are probably aware of the recent survey results released by The Rejected Times (TRT), the Rejected Realm’s most prominent newspaper. This survey has been posted every two years since 2014, and addresses how people view certain aspects of the larger Game-Created Regions. With the opinions of 53 people having been recorded and analyzed, TRT released a detailed analysis of their 2020 survey, with various categories being used to assess regions. Some of the categories included Overall Perceptions, Diplomacy, Activity, Culture, and Stability. I, in this article, will set out to explain why the East Pacific’s scores in the categories of Culture, Military Presence, and Stability, have fallen so far compared to most of the other categories. Only three categories will be covered for the sake of keeping this article simple!
1. CULTURE
One of the greatest hit categories for the survey was Culture, with the East Pacific losing a large margin of -16% of its score compared to 2018. The East Pacific is one of the lowest ranking regions on the list, only barely scraping by the Sinkers. To the
average East Pacifican, this may seem confusing as the East Pacific is traditionally a region steeped with inside jokes and history, some common examples being fridge owls, caek, and pax fruit. However, one should not view this category as assessing a region’s cultural history, but rather how publicly viewable and invested is a region in developing its culture. An examination of all the other Pacifics, and the Rejected Realms, show a large variety of public events both big and small constantly being hosted. Examples of such events include Democracy Day within the North Pacific, Thinksame in the Pacific, and Punday Mondays in the West Pacific. It is no coincidence that the North & South Pacifics are some of the top regions in this category, while the West Pacific surpasses the East Pacific by a hefty .39 points. The above facts reinforce the idea that the East Pacific, whilst having a strong cultural identity, does not do much to grow and encourage participation of the community in cultural festivals and games. This should not be blamed upon anyone specifically, but rather how focused the Ministry of Culture has been on hosting interregional events rather than East Pacifican-only events. It is obvious that the East Pacific therefore needs to take a step forward in terms of hosting cultural events and activities solely, or at least focused upon, the East Pacific. Only then will the East Pacific be able to increase its own cultural values and heighten community involvement to the level of the other Game-Created Regions.
2. MILITARY PRESENCE
Another hard-hit category for the East Pacific, with a 13% drop from the results of the 2018 survey. Similarly to Culture, the East Pacific is barely scraping by the Sinkers and is below all the other regions within the survey. That being said, this is not much of a surprising category. The Eastern Pacific Sovereign Army (or EPSA) has not always been the most active military. Infact, EPSA had not really done many updates and mainly acted as a glorified piler force for the better part of 2015 until recently. Updates were so minimal during this period that having participated in even one update was all it took for a soldier to be considered “experienced”. While the Army is now facing a revival by Overseeing Officer Atlae, it still has a long way to go before it becomes the organization it once was. Especially considering both the small scale of operations the Army is undertaking as well as just how recently Atlae became Overseeing Officer, and it’s plausible to see why The East Pacific was ranked so low. One way in which the East Pacific can raise this perception is to post update reports on NationStates Gameplay forums. While this is not necessarily important nor necessary, considering the Army already posts its updates on the East Pacific forums, posting such reports will show just how active and present the Army is compared to the military organizations of the other Game-Created Regions.
3. STABILITY
Stability was one of the categories in which the East Pacific hit hardest, with a gigantic drop of -25% since the last survey. The East Pacific only scores above Lazarus, and barely above at that. It is not too much of a surprise as to why the drop occurred. Once a region gets couped, the systems it had in place get questioned and the region is seen as vulnerable when it once seemed strong. This drop of perceptions occurred to the East Pacific mainly due to the Fedele coup of 2018. However, the reason for this drop can be further explained than just the coup. One reason why so many people may have perceptions of instability within the East Pacific is the government’s recent actions, such as the recent situation with the West Pacific, the inclusion of A Mean Old Man within Army Command (although that was later reversed), amongst other choices. NSGP in general seems to view the East Pacific as a region that, while active and friendly, is not the most stable with a lot of changes coming into the region’s lifestyle and traditions.
ENDWORD
It is ultimately clear that the East Pacific has heavily dropped in NSGP’s general perceptions since 2018. And while it is plausible for the East Pacific to work its way back up to the good graces of the interregional community, it remains up to the government on whether or not it will decide to do as such. But for now, while perceptions may say one thing, it is true that the East Pacific is a thriving and active region. Whilst many improvements can be made, at the end of the day the East Pacific is still chugging along. Ultimately, that is what matters most.
The Ebil Rick-Rolling Goose of TEP
By TechTag
Zukchiva, also known as Zuk, Zukkini, Zukchiva Yura, ZUKHOMINGMISSLE, MOMMY I’M TERRIFIED, derp derp it’s a zuk, derp, Gooseastley, Resident Goose Overlord, let us coup the east pacific, EPSA Cheerleader, and many more one of TEP’s influential and important person/nation up until this day, starting his government work on Marrabuk’s delegation has helped TEP to recover from its knees today. And many people of TEP look up at him as a good person/nation that gives fun to everyone. TechTag: Ok now we’re on the river where Zukchiva currently lives on and I can also hear some “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley in the distance so it means he’s nearby here. <proceeds to make honking sounds> Zukchiva: Stoopid hooman, don’t speak in my language, I can’t literally understand you. And you suck at honking lol. Anyways, why did you decided to visit me in my rick-rolling river? TechTag: I came here to interview you for our EPNS Issue for this month! Would like you like to spare a bit of time for a few questions, please? Zukchiva: Eh sure, why not? I have some time for it. TechTag: Thank you very much! Okay, here is the first question. Why did you decide to be a goose? Is there any particular reason or anything that led you to be a goose? What was the reason that made you make it canon if it was accidentally mentioned by someone? Zukchiva: There was no particular reason. I was watching some videos of the game known as “Untitled Goose Game”, which for the uninitiated is a game where a goose causes trouble in a small village in Europe. And I felt that it was a cool character so I became a “goose”. And when people began calling me a goose, I began reacting to them in a way I find slightly annoying and sometimes slightly funny. And over time, this cycle of people calling me a goose and my reactions to them solidified my goosey persona.
TechTag: What was your first experience when you joined The East Pacific? Zukchiva: My first experience was just one of uncomfortableness. I received the welcome telegram from Queen Yuno (our Delegate of the time), and I think I decided to stay in TEP based on that. But I found the game to be weird in general, and I didn’t really like all the telegrams being spammed onto me from recruiters. After that, I began roleplaying on the RMB and things went up from there. TechTag: What does it feel like being an important person in TEP and being a meme at the same time? Zukchiva: To be honest, I don’t think my memeness and importance conflict with each other. TEP is all about memes and if you look into TEP’s important people, you’ll find that each has a lot of personal mottos and jokes. One I particularly remember but don’t understand is Bach’s tendency to eat children. That being said, I don’t feel that important. I’m just chilling here and trying to have fun, so being a meme just means I’m enjoying myself in TEP! TechTag: Is Bach going to eat me? Zukchiva: Yes. TechTag: What is your opinion on TEP as a whole? Zukchiva: I feel like we are doing well as a region. The Magisterium is full of Magisters who vote and debate on stuff. Roleplay is chugging new stories at a rapid pace. The government is no longer a dead fish in the water, compared to a few months before the coup. So I think TEP is doing well, considering it hasn’t even been a year since the coup. 
TechTag: What’s your say on the government of TEP? Zukchiva: I think our government is active enough. But I feel like we have a LOT of legal problems that I believe we should seek to fix. Some of them include our citizenship process, resident rights, and how our legislature functions. As such, I have been pushing for Concordat “reform” in order to fix our most basic set of laws, in the hopes that we can fix all of the Concordat's major flaws! TechTag: What does it feel when you ran for the delegacy and lost? Are you somewhat expecting to lose or some sort? Zukchiva: Honestly, it didn’t really feel that good. I definitely felt some form of disappointment and some other mixed emotions. However, within the next few months, I would get over it and focus my efforts more on TEP! I honestly was expecting to lose the moment the first votes came in. Libertanny always had a slight lead ahead of me. So while I did try to remain hopeful, I also did some-what expect to lose elections. :p TechTag: Let’s say in an alternate universe, that you win the delegacy, what would you rather do in general? Zukchiva: Work for the East Pacific’s best interests. In other words, host more cultural events, set up a WA program, expand our news capabilities, and forge new relations with new regions. Those are the main things I would’ve done if I was Delegate! TechTag: What’s your opinion in Libertanny running the TEP Government? Zukchiva: Libertanny has done extremely well in running our government. He’s handled so many situations and issues in ways I would have never even thought of. It’s almost to the point where I wonder if I would have done nearly as well as Libertanny is doing now if I had become Delegate. One thing I do love about Libertanny is his balance with his goals and the views of his cabinet. Libertanny has set goals and definitions for his term, but he also listens to his advisors and Ministers and adjusts his plans according to their input. His ability to listen and not be too stubborn has led the way to a diverse, active, and really well-functioning Executive in my opinion. TechTag: What do you think about the people of TEP? Zukchiva: I think everyone in TEP is awesome. We have the capabilities of being serious and being funny/crazy/insane on a dime, which I really love. I do feel like we shitpost too much, but besides that, we’re pretty awesome as a community. TechTag: Did you enjoy life here in the Nation States as one of the oldest nations? Zukchiva: While I do enjoy life in NationStates, I do have to say that in terms of age I am a very young nation. In fact, I am what most would consider a toddler. TechTag: If new nations were to join and interested in working here in TEP, what would be the best advice you can give to them? Zukchiva: Have fun. Don’t feel obligated to do anything. Ask for help. Join the Magisterium and vote, so that you can learn about our laws. Don’t feel awkward about sharing your opinion, and don’t apologize for it. And in everything you do, try to do it both for yourself and for the betterment of TEP. TechTag: Lastly, if you haven’t encountered the Nation-States game, what would you think your roleplaying life would be? Does it stay the same? Zukchiva: Frankly, I probably wouldn’t be roleplaying at all. xD Not sure what I would be doing, but roleplay outside of NS doesn’t really interest me. TechTag: wHaT dO thInK AbOuT mE? (ofc we would not let go a memey question cause this is Zuk peeps.) Zukchiva: A very cool person who seems to be working hard at his goals, and a person I consider a friend! You kinda remind me of well… me. Yes, that sounds weird, but it’s a fact. Whether that’s cool or not is up to you. TechTag: Thank you very much for your time Mr.Goose! I hope you have a good day and life ahead of you! Here’s a loaf of bread by the way as a gift! Also, Zukchiva hates Grammarly and other grammar checkers. -TechTag Thaecia and the East Pacific; Friends & Comrades
By Zukchiva
Under the guidance of Delegate Marrabuk and Delegate Libertanny, the East Pacific has made great strides in recovering its strength and rebuilding itself. One important aspect both Delegates have focused on is foreign affairs. During both Delegate’s administrations, the East Pacific made a strong focus to form new meaningful relations with a multitude of regions, as well as to solidify and expand long-standing relations. One of the regions whom the East Pacific chose to form bonds with is a User-Created Region known as Thaecia. Marrabuk initially reached out to Thaecia to establish relations sometime in October, right after the coup occurred. Negotiations were favorable Thaecia and the East Pacific had established consulates with each other by Janurary. In March, relations were furthered when an in-game embassy was established between both regions. While the building of relationships was certainly fast, it was not without merit. Both communities share various similarities, such as having a love of memes, being democratic, and being generally inclusive communities. With their similarities to each other, the outpour of support each region has for each other is to be expected! Given the region’s strong relations, as well as how close the region’s communities are, it was no surprise when both regions eventually began thinking of entering into a treaty. Negotiations began in early June, and the treaty was brought before the Magisterium in late July. Eventually, the treaty would be ratified by the East Pacific in early August, with a 94% majority of Magisters in favor of ratification. In order to specify the special bond between the East Pacific and Thaecia, a poem named “Poem of the Greats” was included as the treaty’s preamble. In addition, the treaty avoided the use of treaty templates often utilized by regions ironing out treaties, with The East Pacific and Thaecia opting to write their own unique treaty instead. With these two facts in mind, it is obvious both regions sought to build a special treaty for their unique friendship. While time will tell if the bond between the East Pacific and Thaecia will hold, it is obvious that both regions are hoping to build a more fruitful and mutually beneficial relationship with each other, to last for years to come.
EPSA Mission Reports
By Catiana (Editor’s note: These reports detail EPSA’s activity in the past couple of weeks. They are written in a different style than the usual articles.)
Actual picture of a dark and stormy night
Actual picture of CatBot
Catiania The Atlae Isles Refuge Isle Songaria Virgolia Philville2 Loreintor Vorztovia
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The Atlae Isles Virgolia Refuge Isle https://www.nationstates.net/region=New_Missouri
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Roleplaying with Music: Urthvision
By Sammy and Blueacia
Back in 2018, when I (Sammy) wasn’t really involved in any TEP stuff, I used to spend a lot of time on our old Skype server. Blue was one of the people around there, and as soon as he realised I knew some stuff about Eurovision, he suggested me to join a contest he had been making for Forum Roleplay for some months. It was called “Urthvision”, and was an attempt to emulate Eurovision on Urth. I made New Leganés join then in the third edition of it, and since then Urthvision has reached an incredible number of 12 editions. In the seventh edition, there was a tie between Blueacia and New Leganés on the first position, so we both won and hosted the next edition. It was a really nice time, but people might have some questions… So let the expert talk!! First of all what is the Urthvision Songfestival? Simply said it’s Urth’s version of the Eurovision Songcontest. How did it come to existence? Few years back I (Blueacia) asked on the old Skype server if people knew Eurovision and if they would join a RP when it would be on the forums. After some questions from people I knew I had to think some more about it. In november 2017 I dared to really start it and asked a few people who I talked a lot with to join. Since then we had 12 editions, the last edition just ended. How is it RP’ed? Well, if I may say so, it’s quite an easy roleplay. People pick whatever song they like, come up with RP names and write a bit about the song and/or about the performers. The host collects all the info and makes it into 1 post and can write a bit bit around it. when the post is up all the participating countries can vote on the songs with the Eurovision rules (so no voting for your own song). The winner will host the next edition just like Eurovision. How many editions and winners are there? The 12th edition just finished. And because of a tie in one of the editions there are 13 different winners, we’re still waiting for the first nation to win it a second time. Some of them are no longer on Urth, but the winners are: 1 - Caltharus 2 - Hama 3 - Free Syllvin 4 - Furnifold 5 - East Cerdani 6 - Absurdistan 7 - New Leganés & Blueacia 8 - Kuthernburg 9 - Tivot 10 - Shango 11 - Norgsveldet 12 - Acronis How many participants are in Urthvision? The total of different nations joining Urthvision is 55. The record of participants in 1 Urthvision is 18, this happened twice. 1 time was when people were allowed to join with multiple nations and the second time it was 18 different people joining. Anything else? (Sammy) Before ending, we must also mention the extraordinary roleplayers that now make the hall of fame: Dylan, Oan, Furni, Arramall, Rico, Tuva, Todd, Norgs and Ben, as well as we both. The contest has seen how people have come and gone, and the history of Forum Roleplay and Urth itself during these 3 years, making it one of the oldest events still going on and part of Urth’s essence. It brings hype and activity to the roleplaying, and also a diversity of music tastes, styles and culture of each nation and even each roleplayer. It is a real honor to have participated in it for such a long time, and we hope it continues along with both the old and new generations of roleplayers.
N-Day 4 - A Flying Disaster
By Aga (Editor’s note: This article is a work of satire. None of these views represent that of the Eastern Pacific News Service.)
Right from the very beginning, UPPERCUT knew it wasn't going well. They already sounded like a shady butchery, and battling with fake factions with the same of similar names wasn't going to do any wonders for their bad naming situation. Seeing that the name "UPPERCUT" was taken, they rushed to create a newer faction: "UPPERCUTS". That didn't only make them sound like the butchery, but made them sound like a shady slaughterhouse, which uses terrible karate to dispose of cattle. However, it soon emerged that UPPERCUT(s) has much larger problems than cows. They had to face genocidal jockeys- The Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death; Pestilence and Famine.. The Short Tempered Horsemen (administered by Hell) rose through the ranks, as they added puppets upon puppets into their factions, some of them unfairly exploiting the fact that they are kind hearted and cute defenders who won't even do a fashbash. Finally, you've got Canopy, a friendly and neutral faction that was powerful but largely irrelevant until it will one day be destroyed, much like the Amazon rainforest. Canopy always strove to maintain the friendly irrelevance, hoping that no bigger powers will betray them, and that their friendly yet strangely irritating apathy will eventually pay off. Pay off it did. Second place was significantly better than they could hope for. So, three powerful amigos (Jockeys, Canopy and the Slaughter-House) were off to war, armed with the illusion of peace, Slaughter-House moving bullishly; 'Fenda Jockeys with a short temper and Canopy being forgotten. However, we all knew that Harmony wouldn't last. It's N-Day, after all - the only day when defenders can be violent. The Horsemen attacked the butchers, not the forest. Jockeys, can unfortunately get away with anything. So they attacked, with their multiple satellite states, nuking UPPERCUT(S) to obliteration. Then, that was it. The nasty defenders won. What more is there to say? I could ramble on about how the UPPERCUT(S) leadership structure was non-existent, how Canopy will remain irrelevant unless they become controversial, and how the usage of puppets should be curbed, but I won't. Partially because there is no point- N-Day will probably be changed by a team of mods hell-bent on changing everything to make it easier for them to win, but also because is there really a point horsing (geddit?) on about this? No. It’s once a year- enjoy it for Christ’s sake! Let’s nuke each other to death without a care in the world! Pretend we’re not maniacs playing a strange and infamous game, and enjoy nuking people who don’t agree with us. Because that is the true spirit of N-DAY.
The Puppetmaster By Inquisitive Examinations (Editor’s note: This article is a work of satire. None of these views represent that of the Eastern Pacific News Service.)
The East Pacific’s foreign affairs are in turmoil. If left unchecked, it would result in possibly irreparable damage to The East Pacific’s image and reputation among foreign regions. The East Pacific has lost the #2 spot to Chicken Overlords. On August 16, the WFE (World Factbook Entry, pronounced ‘woofie’) of Chicken Overlords proudly proclaimed “We Beat The East Pacific to become the 2nd largest region!“ right around when both regions were around the 8100 nations mark. Although The East Pacific quickly regained the #2 spot, with Chicken Overlords’ WFE saying “We temporarily Beat The East Pacific to be the 2nd largest region!”, it was all for naught, as Chicken Overlords steadily surpassed The East Pacific, which did not catch up. As of August 31, Chicken Overlords has about 9,687nations, set on exceeding The North Pacific’s population of 9,727 (only 50 away). Now, what makes Chicken Overlords so special? It is currently the largest user-created region, so one would expect people in Gameplay to really care about it. However, its delegate, -The Chicken-, only has one endorsement. Including the delegate, there are 14 WA nations in Chicken Overlords. Assuming that they are goody-two-shoes, that means at least 14 natives, with some non-WA puppets here and there. However, that still accounts for... *checks notes* 9,713 nations unaccounted for. Aside from the fact that 0.1% of these nations are WA and only one of them is endorsing the delegate, that’s an absurd number of nations whose identities are otherwise unknown! It soon becomes apparent that Chicken Overlords is stuffed with nations called “Womble” with a number affixed to it. Their most recent additions have been going closer and closer to five digits, which would be extremely less alarming if this “Womble” character counted in binary instead of base 10. This proves, without a shadow of a doubt, that this “Womble” persona is not a machine or a program, at least not 100%. It’s been speculated that this “Womble” person maintains the puppets with Auralia’s login script, and it has also been observed that this “Womble” individual really loves Anarchies, since all of the “Womble” nations are Anarchies. This has created a large anomaly in statistics, much to the consternation of WA Census Bureau statisticians and stats-lovers alike, who have clearly nothing better to do. At first, this story may seem like a non-story. Who cares about this “Womble” being creating thousands of nations to hold the top spot in regional leaderboards anyway? Chicken Overlords is nothing but a bloated puppet storage and embassy collector region, with its activity generated by either talking to themselves or other puppets, right? But there’s more than meets the eye. Some have speculated that these “Womble” puppets serve a purpose. Some have speculated that they are to partake in ‘ardee’ (we at Inquisitive Examinations have been told that this is inaccurate due to Chicken Overlords being early to update and rather a nuisance to must ardeers) and others have suggested that they are card farmer puppets (which, while there have been many puppets of card farmers, Womble does not appear to be a very big one), but they seem to miss the true purpose here. There must be something more than creating the nations out of boredom and leaving them and counting up the numbers. There’s got to be an ulterior motive here to creating thousands of governments and billions of citizens out of thin air for. It only takes a bit of digging. An obvious solution would be N-Day or Z-Day, which, although unconfirmed, is rumored to take place in late September and Halloween, respectively. A nine or ten-thousand nation army would be formidable at N-Day, for example. But there may be more. “Wombles,” according to a Chicken Overlords official, referred to those of the Wimbledon Common, which according to Wikipedia Britannica are little animals that love recycling. Could this be a message to those across NationStates to recycle? Is this “Womble” figure attempting to spread their recycling propaganda, during these times, across NationStates by flooding puppets to the point where no one can go anywhere without seeing them? This is ghastly. This is nefarious. As a proud, freedom-loving investigative journalist team, we pride ourselves in exposing the inner doings of the elite and the corrupt and the mainstream media. We strongly advocate for national sovereignty and we will not stand for this explicit messaging poisoning the world with pro-recycling propaganda! When we at Inquisitive Examinations examine inquisitively, we proudly assert the right to throw evidence and things we don’t agree with in the trash. No snowflake like this “Womble” fellow can make us change our mind. You will take this refuse from our cold, dead hands! This explains everything. The collection of embassies. The race to the top of the leaderboard. They are trying to tell everyone. But we cannot let this stand. Look at The East Pacific. After Chicken Overlords overtook it, what color was TEP’s flag? Green! This is environmentalist advocacy at its finest. In addition, around the 30th and the 31st, the so-called “servers” were going down for upgrading. This is a metaphor for the recycling lobby getting its way, as the number of nations were to blame. If this “Womble” bloke didn’t overtake The North Pacific by the time “downtime” occurred, they can at least be satisfied that they could slow down the world, temporarily, with their recycling protest. Only our lord and savior Drew Durnil can slow down time and space by supplying an influx of nations. If only the “Womble” puppets were for the best and most dedicated ardeer or card farmer or nuke factory in existence. Don’t let this “Womble” personage indoctrinate you with their anti-trash agenda. It is time to eject/banject every nation possible into The Rejected Realms, the trash collector of regions, so that our mound of trash will surpass even that of the Wombles. It’s politically incorrect to call The Rejected Realms a trash heap, you say? Hmph. We at Inquisitive Examinations are being told that telling everyone to empty their regions into TRR amounts to “Sedition” in the Conclave. We will not be censured by the corrupt East Pacifican government and its arcane and stupid legal system. Imagine democracy, anyway. We will continue to examine inquisitively the nefarious Chicken Overlords! These chickens will never be our overlords!
EPNS brought to TNP by TEP Ambassador and Diplomat Sycon
