The East Pacific News Service
April 2020 Edition
By Zukchiva Yura
The East Pacific has always sought ways to revere and remember the nations that have served within its borders. Stemming from resolutions to honorary citizenship, the East Pacific has attempted a variety of ways to honor its heroes. Here’s a look at three of the previous ways in which the East Pacific has tried to honor its citizens, and a short blurb on its newest, fourth attempt!
Honorary Citizenship
Honorary Citizenship was basically a legal concept in which any person who received this type of citizenship would be able to remain a citizen of the East Pacific, even when they no longer meet the traditional requirements citizens need to maintain (remaining in the East Pacific, not ceasing to exist). As one of the East Pacific’s highest honors, the Magisterium awarded honorary citizenship to many monumental nations such as 1 Infinite Loop, A Mean Old Man, Drakkengard (One of the first Viceroys of the East Pacific), and Mexregiona (one of the East Pacific’s former roleplayers and Delegates) for their service to the region. During the Delegacy of Fedele, Fedele himself brought up the idea of removing citizenship, based upon the “elitism” it gave to its awardees as setting them “above” the citizenship of the East Pacific. While a Concordat amendment striking out honorary citizenship would pass the Magisterium, it would fail the citizen’s referendum and would not go into effect. However, honorary citizenship was one again brought up for removal during the November 2019 Concordat reforms. This time, it was passed through both Magisterium and citizen referendum, and was formally repealed within that year, with all honorary citizens now losing their honorary status.
Magisterium Resolutions to Commend an Individual
Albeit the least used method to honor, the Magisterium has used its ability to release extremely strong opinions of the body (resolutions) to commend individuals for their service to the East Pacific. The two individuals who have been commended in such a fashion insofar are Packivilania (also known in TEP as ‘Pax’) and Xoriet. Pax was honored for his work as Delegate-in-exile during the 2008 Empire coup along with his work as a forum administrator and government leader. Xoriet was rewarded for her legendary records she made as General of the Eastern Pacific Sovereign Army, in which she reached record numbers of operations that have not been met since her tenure.
The Hall of Heroes
Perhaps the most recognizable honorary institution to the East Pacifican, the Hall of Heroes was an institution meant to give individuals a detailed description of their exploits, in their own forum thread. The Magisterium was responsible for voting in nominees into the Hall, who, upon passing vote, would receive a thread and a description describing why they deserved to be in the Hall. Ever since its institution in 2014, the Hall has suffered from neglect and disuse. In 2019, a new position called the Keeper of the Hall was created to run the Hall, with Bachtendekuppen serving as first in office. While he would end up completing his duty by writing out descriptions of everyone ever instituted into the Hall, he would end up resigning later on due to tensions with Delegate Fedele. In 2020, the Hall of Heroes Act was repealed after once again falling into inactivity and disuse, and was replaced with the Order of the Golden Ocelot Act, which instituted in legislation a medal long held in esteem by the East Pacific.
The Order of the Golden Ocelot
The Order of the Golden Ocelot is now the primary way in which the East Pacific honors its citizens. While it is still relatively new in its latest form, it has been in effect starting from 2015. In 2015, Delegate Ramaeus instituted via Executive Order the institution of the first rendition of the Order. The medal was created by British Grand Pacific (a prominent government official of the time), with its design meant to honor Xoriet for her actions and duties she performed in her service for the East Pacific (while this is not explicitly stated, this can be reasonably inferred to the device of an “ocelot”, which remains one of Xoriet’s primary appearances). Ramaeus would award the Order to Todd McCloud, 1 Infinite Loop, and Xoriet amongst a few other select nations. Ramaeus, when awarding the medal, stated that “The members of this Order have profoundly changed and impacted The East Pacific in their given fields, whether it be military or civilian.”, in explaining the purpose and meaning of the medal. These values in which Ramaeus decided who would be deserving of the medal now exist in the medal’s current form. In 2017, Delegate Aelitia would re-institute, via Executive Order, the awarding of the medal to three more nations: Hobbesistan, Free Pacific States, and the British Grand Pacific. For the award, Delegate Aelitia would also design the medal’s ribbon, which is in use today. In 2020, the Magisterium debated and officially passed the Order of the Golden Ocelot Act in April. Ten days later, the Act would become law, instating the Order as the highest civilian award within the East Pacific. This Act would legitimize the versions of the Order initiated by Delegates Aelitia and Ramaeus, while ensuring that from now on the Magisterium may also award the Order by majority vote, alongside the Delegate’s ability to award the medal at their discretion. Within the same month, the Magisterium debated and moved to vote fourteen nominees to receive the Order, consisting of those who used to hold honorary citizenship or were in the Hall of Heroes (but hadn’t received the Order), as well as three other nations awarded separately for their hard work and dedication. The Magisterium has, within the same month of April, passed all nominations for the Order with a high majority. The Order of the Golden Ocelot is another attempt by the East Pacific to honor those who had served it for so faithfully and for so long. While time can only tell whether the medal will accomplish what the Hall of Heroes and honorary citizenship could not, hope is bright for this revitalized award. It’s the hope that this medal will finally bring to its awardees the honor and distinction they have, in the East Pacific’s eyes, rightfully earned.
The Drewpocalypse
By Turtle (Quebec-and-Maritimes/Nordenpunto)
On April 20th, the YouTuber Drew Durnil released a video showcasing NationStates, causing the event dubbed the "Drewpocalypse". Tons of people created nations, which caused the servers to lag a lot.
Who is Drew Durnil?
Many were unaware of Drew before this situation unfolded. A poll was held by Sedequia inquiring about if the respondents had created a nation following the release of the infamous video. Out of 492 participants, 306 (62%) said that they were. The others had no clue what was going on or voted no. These results don’t tell us much though, other than that there has been a lot of new foundings inspired by the video (no surprise on that end). Nonetheless, Drew has been releasing videos showcasing, playing or spectating games related to geography, history, military strategy and the likes for nearly seven years now, so there’s bound to be some overlap in the fanbases.
What exactly happened?
Around noon, "Creating 1 country to battle 184,028 other Countries in the World" came out, causing a large spike in the number of nations created (about 550 foundings per hour in TEP after release, with a slight slowdown later that day). NS servers didn't take this well and delays were observed worldwide. This was because the RAM usage was at capacity, so disk memory had to be used instead. Ultimately, most of the new people won’t stay, and the fans of Drew that do will be considered just another fellow player in due time.
A second wave?
This afternoon, another video of Drew playing NationStates was published, bringing up the possibility of even more players joining in large quantities. Though many new nations were created, the servers didn't seem to struggle too much. The data shows that 360 new nations were founded in TEP today between 16:00 and 17:00 UTC. According to VW53aland, the Minister of Immigration of the East Pacific, "[...] foundings are equally distributed over the 5 feeder regions; TP, TNP, TWP, TSP, and TEP. So the total influx will be five times larger than what we're seeing." Some quick math tells us at least 54,000 new nations have been founded (worldwide) since the start of these events.
Closing remarks
Though it will be remembered, The Drewpocalypse is not a watershed moment in NS history. Most of the people that enjoy and stick with the game would probably have stumbled upon it at some point. Though the amount of people that have joined during these events is unparalleled (for now), it seems unlikely that this will change much in the grand scheme of things. (Except for anyone who has to process applications. VW has shown how many more citizenship applications they’ve been getting and they deserve more appreciation.)
The Catgirl Candidate: Interviewing Sakana
By The Atlae Isles
Atlae: Hello Sakana! I know most of NS will know you as Trans Anarcho-Communist Lesbian Catgirls, the second-place runner-up for the 2020 April Fool’s World Assembly Secretary-General Election, but could you introduce yourself and give a brief overview of your NS and TEP career?
Sakana: Hey there, Atlae! I'm Sakana, also known as Feu de Glace. I'm currently spending most of my time in The Black Hawks, but I've also been in a few other regions. I started my NS life by spending about three years in the region that I decided I liked the welcome telegram of (New Warsaw Pact). After deciding that I needed to get out of that rather isolated region, I got unexpectedly invited to Lily. From there I somehow ended up in The Pacific's military, Legio--but that's a weird and confusing tangent. At some point I joined The East Pacific as a citizen and when there was no one with any experience in R/D to take over the position of Overseeing Officer, I was offered the position. This was right in the middle of Fedele's attempted coup of TEP so I was immediately thrown into the thick of things. Since then I've been moderating TEP's Discord, keeping things clean and the bots working.
Atlae: Why did you ultimately decide to run for WA Secretary-General?
Sakana: Well, the event started on the Trans Day of Visibility and it was an April Fools' event so what nation would be better than Trans Anarcho-Communist Lesbian Catgirls?! It was fun, silly, and timely. I also hope that there were some smiles from it. I also really enjoy the April Fools' events and like competing in them so no matter what it was going to be fun. Stressful, but fun.
Atlae: What did you think about the previous 4 years of Caelepes’ term as WA Secretary General?
Sakana: Wh-oh right. The Sec-Gen position is one that wields immense power and should be treated with utmost respect. With their power to veto anything and kick anyone out of the WA, it's scary. Imagine being kicked out of the WA while you're trying to tag a region? That'd be awful! Okay, so I'm being told that they don't actually have that power. Huh, I wonder what they do...
Atlae: In your campaign bulletin, you start with “We’re here, we’re queer: the Trans Catgirls are here!” You mentioned earlier that you began your campaign on International Transgender Day of Visibility, so do you think your campaign resonated with many young catgirls at home?
Sakana: Oh, I know that it did! I got a lot of telegrams from people that were really happy to see the nation running for office. Those telegrams really made me happy since, between the gorespam and awful telegrams that I kept getting, there was a lot of negativity. Those good telegrams made it all feel worth it. I also had some people come out to me which was always an amazing experience.
Atlae: Speaking of telegrams, one of the main complaints of those voting in the election was the amount of campaign TGs sent to them. What's your opinion on this?
Sakana: Haha, there were a lot of telegrams. I myself tried to not send that many out (ie. one WA wide telegram) but I know that other people sent out more than that. All I know is that Alti made that lovely dispatch which was hilarious and made it clear that people weren't liking the amount of telegrams. I also don't think that I have a good perspective on it since I got ~500 telegrams from people. Oh, and I, uh, may have had WA Campaigns blocked on accident sooooooooo who knows!
Atlae: On your campaign thread in the Election Headquarters subforum, you and your campaign picked out catgirl pictures for the top SecGen candidates and anyone who requested one. Where did you get the catgirls from and can you confirm right here and now that they are doing okay one month later?
Sakana: The worldwide team of catgirls volunteered in support of the election! They were all given the highest accommodations and got homemade cookies as thanks. All are safe now and, from what I last heard, are still enjoying the after party. Maybe they'll be partying until the next election, who knows!
Atlae: Who were the people who helped you with your campaign and what work did they do?
Sakana: I'd like to wait to answer that one since I need perms to see an old Discord chat to make sure I get everyone.
Atlae: TEP was one of the first regions to support your candidacy, along with TBH [The Black Hawks]. What impact would you say that those early boosts/endorsements gave you in the election? How were you able to appeal to so many different regions?
Sakana: I think that those early boosts were very helpful in getting momentum. The support from both of them made a solid base for a coalition. I think that we were able to appeal to so many different regions because we had a fun and silly campaign. We weren't worried about being serious for April Fools', that'd be heresy! That non-serious tone definitely helped us appeal to a lot of regions.
Atlae: Late into the election, [violet] introduced the running mate mechanic into the election. One of the major surprises in the final round of voting was when McMasterdonia became your running mate. Could you share some insight into how this came to be?
Sakana: Oh, that twist! We had that planned for a bit which is why the catgirls didn't have a running mate before. It was something fun and unexpected that we thought would shake things up a bit. It was also brought up briefly between the five candidates (I think I talked to everyone?) that got into the final round that we would all drop out at once leaving the election with no winner. The would've been the most ridiculous thing to happen and I'm sort of sad that it didn't.
Atlae: There have been many accusations that you and other members of the “WA Elite” - namely, the other four candidates that made it into the final round of voting: Kuriko, Caelepes, Valentine Z, and McMasterdonia - conspired to keep Jocospor out of the final round of voting. At risk of a substantial reaction from the Confederation of Corrupt Dictators, do you have any comment on this whole affair?
Sakana: Okay, I have to say the idea of me being a WA elite is hilarious to me since most of the time I don't even know where my WA is, lol. And, as for saying anything on the matter, I think that those that got into the final round of voting deserved to be there. Everyone worked very hard to get into the final voting round.
Atlae: Could you give your thoughts on each of the other 4 final round candidates? I know you’ve already given them a catigirl pic. :p
Sakana: Sure! I think that all four of them are fantastic people and it was extremely fun to run against them. The election allowed me to get to know a few of them better and I'm really glad for that. If you want specific thoughts on each on, the campaign telegram that I sent out gave an adjective for them:
Atlae: What would you say to Kuriko right now about her very grueling job as WA Secretary-General?
Sakana: Hope you enjoy reading the thousands of pages of requirements that you have to follow~!
Atlae: How has post-election life in NS been for you?
Sakana: Post-election life on NS has been about the same as pre-election life. I'm still having fun doing silly things. The only difference is that the catgirls have had c/c proposal(s?) written about them. Oh, that and I keep getting replies from my WA all telegram from people that are just now opening their telegrams up. Other than that things have been pretty much the same. I have enjoyed sneaking puppets into XKI [10000 Islands] for Kuriko to find, though. So far she's only found one but who knows, there might be more~
Atlae: Last question. Will you be running again in 2024? NS is dying to know.
Sakana: If I'm still here, maybe. The world always needs more Trans Anarcho-Communist Lesbian Catgirls~
Atlae: Alright, thank you for your time. It was a blast interviewing you.
Sakana: Let me know if there is anything else that I can help with!
The Judgment
By Inquisitive Examinations
Editor’s Note: The following is a work of satire and does not represent the views of The East Pacific.
Where were you on 4/20/2020? A date that will live in infamy, and not just for its auspicious date. It is the day when the deity known as Drew Durnil came down from the heavens and destroyed NationStates’ servers with his divine wrath. Only the likes of [violet] could stop his rampage, but the damage was already done. His army of followers, ranging from 30,000-50,000 nations strong, would have been enough to topple all of the GCRs and major UCRs (CCD’s pipe dream, I suppose) if they were commanded to. But nay, they have dispersed around the world, settling in the regions whose recruitment telegrams were the most interesting. Despite everyone’s initial rage about the lag and general inconvenience caused by Drew’s divine judgment, NationStates as a whole benefited from the publicity. The East Pacific, for that matter, increased by at least 50%, with the citizenship application office ballooning with requests after his divine message was available to the public. Clearly the East Pacific was favored, since that was the birthplace of Drew’s digital manifestation. The day that he returns would signal the Second Coming. It soon emerged that Marrabuk, the Delegate of The East Pacific, posted the following message: “Hippity hoppity Drew Durnil's channel is now TEP's property” 1 (Marrabuk). This message may seem innocuous to the average reader, but here at Inquisitive Examinations we examine things inquisitively. Clearly Marrabuk has the Mandate of Heaven (why else would he be Delegate) and must have some message from the beings above us. Perhaps he is even descended from them, given his luscious coating; he really is the most handsome. But that would mean that fate has ordained that the destinies of The East Pacific and Drew are irreparably entwined, and that Drew would return one day. Of course, one would be remiss if they were not to supply evidence. TEP’s Provost, A Mean Old Man, submitted a proposal to the Security Council queue and it quickly made it to quorum. However, he rustled quite a few feathers even in The East Pacific for not drafting it in the forums first, which a 10x-WA Resolution author like AMOM should undoubtedly know to do. Even though by April 30, the proposal had overwhelmingly failed, AMOM posted this message in his defeat: “I think he may have planned to post the video as this was ending. :wink:” (Mean Old Man) The video in question was a sequel to Drew’s first divine revelation, causing the influx of nations of the Drewpocalypse. The message that AMOM had left also contained an image, which inscribed on it were these words: “When your resolution fails...But your plan works” (Mean Old Man). Clearly, either Mean Old Man had either coordinated this with Drew, or the action of condemning Deruuu had captured his attention again. Drew’s divine revelation at one point mentioned the condemnation of his digital manifestation, expressing pleasure while voting for the doomed-to-fail resolution. Following the failure of the resolution and the deliverance of Drew’s divine revelation, Mean Old Man changed his classification to “MASTER PLAN.”
(Artist’s Rendition: Drew Leading the Masses, probably by some guy)
(Artist’s Rendition: The Conjurers’ Ritual, probably by another guy. Depicted from the top, clockwise: Marrabuk, A Mean Old Man, Libertanny, Bachtendekuppen, Todd McCloud. Center: a burning lotus flower.)
Work Cited
Editor’s Note: These last three articles are short submissions from nations in The East Pacific, about categories ranging from roleplay and satire. They are intended to stoke community involvement in chronicling the stories of TEP.
Tensions rise in Sokala as 2020 Prime Minister election starts
By Dominic Brual
One week after the start of the Prime Minister candidacy declaration period, tensions between various political parties rose to alarming levels. Several political leaders have been brought in for questioning for being suspected of instigating incidents of vandalism and theft that were observed by the Sokalan National Police Association. Among them was Ronaldo "The Rock" Rose, Party Representative of the ROCK party.
Meth Addicts Add Additives to Meth
By Methany Gladd
Ever since methamphetamine production was standardized in the nation of Jakubonia, the official manufacturers have began to add additives to an addict's favourite drug. This is to lower the concentration of the drug, causing people to buy larger batches of it. Some illegal drug rings have already began distilling and purifying this product, to gain a taste high. Luckily, the practically nonexistent law enforcement has been gradually cracking down on these fiends! Legislations to make a minimum drug concentration quota are underway.
Thany Devito Can Beatbox
By George Joestar (local aristocrat and interpreter)
Y’all gon make (pwt) me act a fool (pwt) up in here (pwt) up in here (pwt). y’all gon make (pwt) me lose my cool (pwt) up in here(pwt) up in here (pwt). y’all gon make(pwt) me bust a SMACK (pwt) up in here (pwt) up in here (pwt). y’all gon make my fingers snap (pwt) up in here up (pwt) in here (pwt). Why should I battle a crusty old man when you can’t even defeat a little weak Peter Pan. You’re lucky this is only a beatbox battle (pwt), cause in a real battle I would make you feel rattled. Look at him, he’s only got one (pwt) planet, I’ve got the whole galaxy (pwt) under my dependence. You’re gonna pay when you bleed and die, yes you will die destiny arrives. Y’all gon make me aha prt aha sss aha prt ahaha prwrt prwrt aha sss Y’all gon make me aha prt aha sss aha prt ahaha prwrt prwrt aha sss Y’all gon make me aha prt aha sss aha prt ahaha prwrt prwrt aha sss Y’all gon make me aha prt aha sss aha prt ahaha prwrt prwrt aha sss Bwm saia semi bwmbwm ama don stopa bwm saye bwm don bwm stopa pwt bwmbwm saia semi bwmbwm ama don stopa bwm Let me show you how to scratch it ahuHU bwm sama uta p utaata uta eta uta bwm etauts bu pww hu pww eta pww uh seta eta pu etta pu bwm either way destiny still arives.
