Finding Answers (Solo RP)

Sil Dorsett

The Belt Collector
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TNP Nation
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(Rewritten to be in first-person style, Finding Answers is an Alice-centric story told from Alice's perspective, involving a deep-dive into the mystery of the separation of her parents and an examination of her own thoughts into royal and noble culture. Enjoy.)

Part 1: The Debutantes' Ball

Every year, my family brings together the nobles and other members of Silien high society at our palace to celebrate the coming of age of their children. Young women eighteen or nineteen years old would be formally presented to the other high families at the The Debutantes' Ball, the most exclusive of soirées.

It's tradition for a debutante to be presented to the monarch before being presented to the other families and waiting bachelors. The expectation was that the young men and women would develop new relationships that eventually lead into a socially equal marriage, but often times the adults in the families would play matchmaker. I personally loved the event. It was a chance to mingle, taste the finest of foods, and see the latest fashionable dresses. I always thought I'd find my perfect match at one of these dances, but I always struggled to seal the deal with a nobleman. It'd be years before I found out why.[link]

After my sister ascended to the throne, every year she threatened to cancel the event. Tradition didn't matter to her. Even after she agreed to share power with me, it was her who had the responsibility to set everything up; she had to answer the debutantes' applications to be presented and make the arrangements, but she didn't want to do any of it. She wanted the practice abolished, but barons and businessmen would always pressure her into making the event happen every year. I didn't help her cause either. We all cited tradition and expectation, but also resorted to guilt tripping her by accusing her of smashing the dreams of up and coming young women who actually wanted to be presented and were looking forward to their time in the spotlight. Every year, we'd fight. Every year, we ended up winning in the end.

* * *​

Together, this year's six debutantes walked into the Chamber of Rule and approached the throne. Only Claidie sat in her chair, with my chair kept in storage. I just stood on the other far side of the room out of the way. Each lady stepped forward as her father announced her name and heritage, whether of noble pedigree or by virtue of familial success. Each one of them curtsied and stepped backwards to return to the line without turning her back my sister. When all the introductions were done, Claidie stood up and walked past the line, the women turning to face her as she passed them to lead them to the ballroom. I joined my sister at the front of the procession as she came near.

A long dinner table for my sister, the barons, and myself sat opposite of the door in front of the small ensemble of string musicians, while tables for the other family members, cadet branches, and the businessmen took the sides. It was the center of the ballroom, however, that was featured, spacious and wide open in anticipation for a long night of dancing, surrounded by young bachelors waiting for their turn.

Each of them held a different playing card, and a separate deck with all of the cards the bachelors drew was created. When we all entered the ballroom and the debutantes were announced to the waiting crowd, Claidie took the deck and held on to it, allowing the women to draw from it. The bachelor whose card matched the card a lady drew became their dance partner. As the dance went on, the young ladies drew new cards to be matched to new partners.

A couple of hours went on before the deck was finally exhausted, allowing free selection of dance partners and for the rest of us to join in and enjoy the night. With her traditional duty complete, my sister retired to her seat next to me at the back table. She didn't seem interested in dancing. I couldn't blame her, since her boyfriend wasn't in attendance. That was another thing I had to remember to keep my mouth shut about. Sebastien Whittemore, on the other hand, who our father previously arranged to marry one of us and preferrably my sister, had other ideas about Claidie and dancing.

He prepared for the opportunity to address her yet again, as he did every year, much to her Claidie's despair. This time, he had with him a deck of cards, which he laid down in front of her. It seemed very symbolic of the cards used to determine the dance partners earlier. I had never seen Sebastien do this before. "What exactly was he up to?" I wondered.

"A proposition, if I may, Your Highness?" Sebastien asked her. "A game of chance for a dance."

I noticed Claidie raising an eyebrow, and to be honest, I was just as curious. "Ah, Sebastien. Is your father still enjoying the monthly check I'm sending him?" she told him, referring to the payment her and I owed the Whittemores for that damn frigate in the harbor since neither of us married Sebastien.

"I told you last year that he loathes those checks, and, with all respect, you know why. They're a reminder of how he pushed just that little bit too hard with you. Anyways, a deck of 26 cards. Two identical suits, Ace to King of Spades twice. I'll draw a card, and you can cut the deck however you like before you draw. Draw the card I have and I am rewarded with a dance."

I wasn't surprised by Sebastien trying for yet another year, but now this just seemed like desperation. I think he had come to the realization that charm wasn't going to win the day and instead he had to resort to luck. But, the odds weren't all that great. Taking into consideration probability and everything, it'd be another twenty-five years before he got that dance. Something was up.

"Alright. Draw your card," I heard my sister reply.

Sebastien drew his card. "If I recall, this was the card you drew first back in 2008, when your father reserved the ball just for you and made the other debutantes wait a year," he said, as he revealed the Ace of Spades. Of course it was the Ace of Spades. Our father probably rigged the deck that year.

As the exchange went on, my curiosity only grew more intense. "What are you doing, sis?" I thought to myself as I was eating and watching on. Was she actually going through with this? Well, a twenty-four out of twenty-five chance of not drawing Seb's card was at least some relief to this. "There's a one in twenty-five chance of you drawing that card, sis," I reminded Claidie, "so the odds are in your favor if you're not feeling a dance."

Claidie shook her head at me. "No." She paused for a while, maybe letting me think about it a little more? I started to wonder why she seemed so sure that I was wrong about my assessment. Then, it hit me. Since my father probably rigged his deck, then...

"Sebastien, I know you've desired me for years, and I feel this has been a yearly ritual, but I never thought you were this desperate. I'm a Dorsett, not a Gabbiani, and I know the card I'm about to draw is the Ace of Spades," Claidie projected. She cut the deck, drew the card, didn't even bother to look at it before revealing it to me and Sebastien before putting it back on top of the deck. She was right, it was an Ace of Spades. But wait, I thought she cut the deck. Did she really cut right into the Ace of Spades?

"...because you lied. It's a deck of all Aces of Spades." She then flipped the deck and fanned it out, revealing twenty-five Aces of Spades. "Next time you want a dance, don't lie, and play me in a fair game. But, since I drew, and I did indeed draw your card, I'll let you have your dance... this time."

I couldn't believe it. The cheating was one thing, and my sister knowing it was another. But, she actually gave in this year and went off to dance with him despite all of that? That seemed odd. Was it really just holding her end of the deal, or had charm actually won this time? It wasn't luck, that's for sure.

* * *​

Later that night, I was walking around to all of the guests' tables, greeting them, checking up on them, making sure our staff was caring for them, when Sebastien approached. "Your Highness, a moment of your time, please?" he asked me.

"Certainly. What's on your mind, Seb?" I replied.

"Alice, I don't understand your sister," he somberly said to me. "We were so good together in our academy years. I thought there was something between us, but now that chemistry is gone. Sure, she let me have tonight's dance, but it didn't feel right. What happened?"

He didn't really know, did he? I had to be honest with him and tell him everything, about the ship, the arrangement, and even the contingency plan I was unknowingly drafted into. One thing I didn't tell him about was about my sister's currently ongoing relationship.

"Seb, I think both our fathers ruined your chance," I started to explain."They both wanted to take away her freedom to choose, and then take mine if she continued to rebel. That's what this is all about; her right to think for herself. And, what happened years ago is why she hates high society. It's why those six young women almost lost their moment in the spotlight this year, and why many others almost lost theirs."

"But how did that happen?" Sebastien asked. "Raised by the same parents, how did the two of you end up so differently? Why is she the only one that hates the way our society is?"

I knew the real reason why, but that was something I didn't want to explain. It was hard enough leaving him in the dark over the investigation into his father's conduct, and I didn't want to reveal more than I needed to. But then, I thought about my trip to Merilia a while back, and how I finally came to terms with my father's death and how he was as a person prior to that. That's when I realized that I still only had half of the story, and I hadn't yet followed through with something that I told myself I needed to do.

"I've thought about that before, and I think I know why, but there's someone I need to talk to first," I told him. My father's decline into madness all started after the divorce, right before he ascended to the throne. I never understood what caused the break-up. I needed to know. I needed to talk to my mother.
 
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Part 2: The Trip West

I had to beg Claidie to let me borrow one of her Coweta SUVs instead of subjecting myself to sit in the more upper-class Aventeur-branded sedan I drove while I was the chamber speaker. My thought was that I'd blend in better with the more rural traffic this way. After the divorce, mother moved back into the western part of the principality where she came from and basically abandoned the royal lifestyle. She moved back to Avonville, where she grew up in, which was definitely one of the more farmland dominated working-class areas that a baron or a princess would be out of place in. I didn't want to stand out. This kind of preparation worked for my sister in the past, and I was sure it would work for me too.

Refusing an escort and really any kind of support, I made the two and a half hour drive to my mother's ranch. I, of course, gave her plenty of notice about what I was doing. It wasn't the time to pop up uninvited for a surprise. I was hoping to see the whole family, my two stepbrothers Jules and Henri, half-sister Amelie, and even my stepfather Philippe, but none of them were around, it seemed. When I arrived, I only found my mother Liliane tending to the garden in front of the house. I just parked behind their car in the driveway and stepped out as mother turned around with a smile. She left her garden behind to walk up towards me, and we gave each other a hug. It felt like we hadn't seen each other for years and were just reuniting, though, given how busy I usually am, any time we find to meet up feels like a reunion.

"Welcome home again, my dear," my mother said, totally ignoring the protocol for greeting a royal. It felt liberating in a way how casual mother was towards me. I started to feel like I understood Claidie's apathy towards protocol.

"Good to see you again, Mom," I replied. My curiosity and expectation did get the better of me, though. I had to know where the others were, and so I asked.

"The boys are out in the field doing work and learning the trade, you know..." mother replied.

"And Amelie?"

"Oh, she's out at hockey practice. She'll be there for another hour or so. So, it's just the two of us for a while. So, how about a bite to eat? We tried some Skandan curry recipe for lunch today, and it was pretty good. Ever try it?"

Maybe the one-on-one time while the rest of the family was occupied was a blessing. There were things I wanted to ask without the family around. If asking over a lunch I had never tried before was the time to do it, then so be it. I just hoped my mother was right about curry being tasty.
 
Part 3: Virgin's Luck

I was originally feeling rather nervous about asking mother about father and why they separated. The curry was delicious and satisfying, though, and I basically forgot how nervous I was. It's amazing how a good home-cooked meal can make you feel. I ran through happier thoughts and realized I hadn't told mother about the trip. Seemed like a good starting point.

"I took a trip not too long ago. Went to Merilia," I told her.

"I read about that in the paper."

"That made the paper?" I asked. I missed it, apparently. It must not have made the politics section of the paper, which I always skipped straight to for a quick laugh to start the day.

"Yeah. Any time you girls go abroad it makes the papers," she let me know. "What was it for again? Beltane? Samhain? I never could keep all those celebrations straight."

"It was Samhain. Claidie did Beltane a couple years ago. I did Samhain."

"Oh, that's right. That was right after her accident," mother reminded me. "So what did you do out there?"

"Well, we were all invited to give a dedication to a relative who is no longer with us. I did one for father," I explained. "We all brought something as a memento of our loved ones. I had our family album, from before you and father separated. It was what I reflected on. I missed those days."

Mother didn't seem all that troubled by it. She had this calm smile the whole time. I thought she might have been upset, but instead...

"Oh, Allie, I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stay and be there for you two."

...she was apologizing? Why? Did she really think that it was her that did something wrong? It was like the whole narrative about my father was being thrown into flux. Was their break-up really his fault, or did everyone else around me years ago lie to me?

"Mom, what happened back then? I want to hear it from you."

She paused for a while, and wouldn't even look at me. I could tell... she was feeling guilty. I was finally going to get the answer I was looking for, but I knew deep down it wasn't going to be anything like I expected.

"Well... Tell you what. Let me tell you a story..." mother suggested, "... about how we met in the first place."
Summer 1988...

I had just graduated from academy, and my friends, Caroline and Sophie, and I wanted to take a trip to the city to celebrate, before we all went to university. You probably don't remember them, do you? Sophie and I were the math geeks and we thought we could use our brains to make a little money from the casino...

"How much did you bring, Lily?" Sophie asked all excitedly.

"Ten thousand! All those nights waitressing are gonna pay off tonight!"

"Yeah! Gotta risk it to get that biscuit! Right, Carly?"

Now, Caroline had her eyes set on something else. She thought we were going to walk away broke. She wasn't a gambler, but she was absolutely a gold digger. She always had her eyes on the richer kids in the class, and that attitude didn't stay in the academy after we left.

"Yeah, yeah, you two go play your games while I go get my Baroness rank."

"You don't really think a nobleman is gonna give a shit about a trio of westerners, do you?" Liliane asked.

"Hey, you and I've got it where it counts," Caroline said, noting her and Liliane's... attractiveness. "Sorry Sophie."

Present day...

"I wish I could say Caroline was wrong, but she wasn't," mother explained. "When we made it to the city we went to Casino de Norvalle, the richest place in the city. We all knew we were outclassed but none of us cared. We just had to see it for ourselves. Sophie was a wannabe card shark, so she ran off to the poker tables with Carly. I didn't realize how much money Sophie had with her. I mean, she must have been in one of those hidden billionaire families out west to be playing high stakes against Axle Skov of all people. She regretted that."

"And where'd you go?" I asked.

"I went to the craps tables. I could never bluff my way to a win in poker, and slots have no strategy behind it, so I figured craps was a good fit for me. And that's where I met Stéphane."

Summer 1988...

Stéphane was hovering around all the craps tables, but I noticed he had an interest in my table. I didn't know who he was at the time, but someone as well dressed as him was hard to ignore. I had already lost three thousand, and the stickman pushed the dice to me. My time to throw, and that's when he came up to me. He was good at picking out how I was feeling.

"First time, mi'lady?" Stéphane asked. "Put it all on the pass line. I'll guarantee it."

Present day...

"I thought he was nuts, but that's when he explained 'virgin's luck' to me," mom said.

"Virgin's luck?" I asked, not knowing a thing about it.

"A girl playing craps for the first time is considered lucky for the whole table. It went against my train of thought, but I figured if he was going to pay for it, why not? So, seven thousand went on the pass line, and I rolled a seven. I was up four thousand, and he said do it again, so I did. Another seven. This went on for a while. I must have rolled four or five points before I finally crapped out. But, I was so far ahead I called it quits. Not to mention I had the attention of a dashing nobleman. At least... I thought he was a nobleman."

"And he turned out to be a lot more."

"He did everything right. We went to the buffet, had a bunch of drinks together, and next thing I knew I was waking up in the Rivage Palace. I had no idea what I had done."

"And that's how the family started..." I alluded.

"No, it wasn't. Not yet, anyways..." mother said, correcting me. "But it might as well have been. Prince Christophe found out about our little adventure and mandated that we marry. He was furious at Stéphane, but he said I'd be the one thrown in Chateauroche Oubliette if we didn't marry. He didn't care for the law. He was the law."

Suddenly, everything made sense. It really was a loveless marriage, with my grandfather trying to do whatever it took to protect the image of the family. I could see now why it all collapsed, and it made me think about how things might have been if our society had been just a little bit different. Stéphane wasn't the problem. Our whole family was.
 
Part 4: A Double of Brennivin

That evening, Mom wanted to take me down to one of the local bars, Timothee's Bar and Grill, for some drinks. I thought she was crazy to take me into a place like that, but she wasn't having any of my nagging. She wanted to go there, and she wanted me to be there too, even going as far as to let me borrow some of her clothes to help me blend in. I guess Claidie got her penchant for disguises from Mom.

Even as I stepped out of Mom's truck and knew it was too late to go back, I still pleaded with her to reconsider. This was no place for royalty, or even for politicians in general.

"Mom, they'll notice me. We'll be mobbed," I whined.

"I know this town better than you, hon. Even if they know who you are, they won't care. Besides, you look more like a farmhand than a princess," Mom reassured me, and reminding me why she let me borrow her outfit.

We went inside, and... Mom was right. The wait staff didn't say anything about us. Instead, they just asked if we wanted a table or a bar seat. We took the bar seats. It was still early in the evening; the place wasn't densely packed, just a few pairings and maybe one or two groups of university-age kids, and they all seemed to keep to themselves. I still had a feeling there was a purpose to her dragging me out here, so I asked, only for Mom to tell me that I should have a drink first.

When the bartender came around, Mom just ordered a light beer. I wanted to see if they had brennivin, and to my surprise, they did, so I ordered a double of that, to my mother's shock and disbelief. "Just supporting that trade deal I helped get done," I whispered to her once the bartender moved on." Then, Mom explained herself.

"I wanted you to see the life I missed out on for so long. Look around you, and look at those who are here just having a good time, drinking, socializing with close friends, and not even paying attention to the fact that royalty is in their presence."

Mom had a point. I'd spent so much of my life believing I was the focus of the social scene, being royalty and all. Here, in this bar, I wasn't.

"For a while, things were easy," Mom started to explain. "Stéphane and I still made the best of things, despite basically being forced into marriage, and we still had a little bit of fun at times. We learned to appreciate each other's company, and the births of you two brought us closer together.

"It wasn't until Christophe's dementia became crippling that your father took things more seriously once he started acting as regent. All the high society events we went to, that we used to just be there for the sake of being there and had fun while we were there, now were such a big deal. He started to demand perfect etiquette and protocol, and yelled at me when I got it wrong. He just wasn't the man I married anymore."

It started to become clear to me what was going on, but Mom continued on. "I remember one time we were going to a horse race, and he was so upset that the first outfit I picked wasn't a hoop dress, and then it was that I didn't pick a hat, and then when we were there, it was about my posture and me not keeping my hands clasped low in front of me. He was just dictating my every fashion choice and hand movement. And then, I wasn't even allowed to talk anymore. He was so afraid I'd say something out of protocol. I just sat or stood in silence."

For a decade and a half, I never understood why Mom left, and now here she was confessing to me, trying to justify herself to me. She may have been selfish in leaving my sister and me behind for the life she wanted, but I would have been just as selfish to demand she endure her torment.

Claidie must have felt it harder than I did, to watch our mother leave under the pressure of satisfying a group of haughty barons, and then to almost be sold off to them. The high society was a menace, and she wanted to burn it down. After hearing my mother's side of the story, finally, so did I.

"That's why I brought you here, Alice, and why I was so glad you came out this way," she admitted. "I wanted you to see the kind of life I was forced to leave behind. I also wanted you to see something else. Everyone here just doesn't care about the intricacies of royal and noble life in the east. Here in the west, It's all about the community. Nobody here knows you right now because you aren't close to the community. I think if you changed that, somehow, you might enjoy it more than the life you have now."

The contrast was clear between having your every move watched and every choice dissected in that "noble" environment, versus this "commoner" bar. I looked around once again, and everyone was still keeping to themselves. Still, nobody had picked me out of the now growing crowd. But, as people filed in through the front door, I spotted someone I knew, the race car driver I helped with strategy decisions when my sister and I were getting the E-Series off the ground. I couldn't believe that out of all the towns in the principality, he lived right here, and I didn't know! I excused myself from my mother's presence to greet him, and I could see that she was keeping a close eye on me, very interested in what I was doing as I approached my old teammate.

"Oliver?" I asked, playing dumb to make him think hard about who I was, hoping my borrowed clothing and alternative hairstyle was enough to conceal me. Didn't work; he knew me right away.

"Alice!? What are you..." he said in surprise before I put my finger over his lips to quiet him down to a whisper. "What are you doing here?"
 
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