Liquid Money

[Funkadelia]

Foreman Girma had finished lunch and was just getting ready to leave his construction trailer. He had the auspicious duty of overseeing the digging operation for the new pipelines to bring water from Lake Armush to the northern half of Aksum, Funkadelia's largest city. Previously, all of Aksum was serviced by underground springs, but Aksum's growth in the last decade has been so great that a new water source is necessary to meet all the water needs of the city. It was one of the least envious positions in the entirety of Funkadelia's Infrastructure Ministry. Yup, a million miles of fresh Plembobrian PVC pipe, all just going into the freshly dug up ground, then rolled over again. At least, that day was going to be the last day of construction and the pipes were going to go live as early as next week. To make work go at double the pace, the crews were placing down the pipes as soon as the soil was excavated to lay it down.

Just as Girma was stepping toward the door of the trailer, a construction worker in hard hat and hi-visibility vest burst through the door, nearly taking it off of its hinges.

"Uh, Girma, you've gotta come see this shit!"

Thinking someone fell asleep on the job, or poked a hole through yet another segment of the pipe, Girma slowly followed the now jogging construction worker over to the job site. As he turned the corner around the orange mesh fence, his jaw dropped.

A giant boulder had been knocked free of the dirt by an excavator, and rolled onto the pipe. The boulder destroyed the pipe and displaced the rest of the water pipeline as long as the eye could see. The falling boulder also revealed that the soil between there and the city was full of boulders. Someone in the central Infrastructure office really f****d something up here, and badly. Girma let loose a chain of curse words as loud as he could, then ran into his trailer and frantically began to dial his telephone.

---

Funkadelia Broadcasting Company
​

AKSUM, FUNKADELIA - A major accident occurred north of Aksum today, as the Ministry of Infrastructure admits that a major construction error occurred in the construction of the new water pipeline that was announced to relieve the water sources to the south of the immense pressure due to recent population increases.

According to anonymous sources, the Ministry does not have the money to deal with the new issues that have arisen as a result of this error, which includes the uncovering of improperly assessed land that contains high amounts of boulders that the Ministry is currently not properly equipped to handle safely. Our sources also report that representatives of the Emperor are seeking out outside funding to finish the project. If it is not completed, it is feared that water blackouts may begin to occur across Aksum.

When asked, neither the Emperor's Tongue nor the Ministry of Infrastructure had any comment to make.

 

[Pauline Bonaparte]

Paolo Avelocci left his office at the top of the International Banking Tower at 1:00 PM sharp on a Thursday and had his driver take him straight to the Floresque Jetopolis. Like most executives at the Bank Avelocci, he left work early at the end of the week to retreat from the oppressive city and go somewhere more relaxing. As the chairman of the Bank, though, he often gave himself Friday off for ab extra day of leisure.

His driver drove down cypress lined streets, the tall, uniform glass office buildings gradually turning to high rise apartment buildings, then small houses with neat courtyards, each filled with the same assortment of lush, green plants merely arranged in different ways. Finally, as they approached the massive airport, the distant roar of jet engines grew louder and the trees gently swayed in their distant wake.

Paolo walked into the airport as his driver carried his suitcase. The airport was busy, but not crowded. Most people wore business attire, as there were few other reasons to come to this nation of convention centers. The building itself, of course, was spotless, save some spilled coffee nearby. Three airport policemen, dressed in black body armor and holding massive beige-colored bullpup assault rifles, stood around it as if it was the aftermath of a terrorist attack.

He stood on an escalator, his driver behind him, when his cell phone began to ring. Paolo sighed when he saw the caller ID: the office of his brother, Floresque's Gonfaloniere -- the country's president.

"Hello Alessandro," Paolo said, as if he was greeting a coworker.

"Hello, Paolo. Are you at your desk?"

"I am at the airport. I'm going to Esplandia for the weekend."

"Hm." Alessandro said. "Have you heard of the water crisis in Funkadelia?" he quickly segued.

Paolo almost sighed again, but stopped himself. At this point he and his driver got off the escalator and stepped to the side.

"I don't follow the news in Funkadelia that closely, sorry."

"There was this terrible accident laying a pipeline, the work has been set back for months... and they are almost out of money."

"That's too bad."

"Yes, it is... " Alessandro trailed off. There was a silence on the line as if they were in the midst of a negotiation.

"Is there anything else?" Paolo asked, already sure of the answer.

"I am sure that your bank could lend them the money if Funkadelia's emperor was so inclined to accept it?"

"I cannot lend any money to Funkadelia with the unrest that's going on over there."

"I thought you didn't follow the news?"

"I don't, but I know they're not the kind of place we would want to lend to."

"That's disappointing, Paolo." Alessandro said sternly. The airport policemen ran by, clearly with something more serious on their minds than spilled coffee. Paolo watched them as they ran towards an old, confused man standing by the metal detector.

"Alessandro, if the government is so concerned about the - what was it? the roads in Funkadelia, why don't you just lend them money directly?"

"The water, and I've already asked the Signoria. They are not cooperating." There was another silence. "All they need is a few million to finish the project. And when they need more infrastructure built, maybe they'll think about hiring some real Floregasque contractors instead of Goofus and Doofus or whoever in their country is doing it now."

Another silence. Over the PA, a pleasant feminine voice said: "Flower Air, Flight 233 to Esplandia, boarding at gate 37F."

"Okay, fine. I have to go." Paolo said. He hung up and turned to his driver.

"Have Brigida call whoever she knows in Funkadelia and see if they want a loan. But DON'T let anyone do anything before we send in an engineer and consultant to see how much money this is going to take."

His driver nodded and scribbled on a note pad. Paolo took a deep breath and adjusted his hair.

"Come on, I have to get to the plane."

 

[Funkadelia]

Birtukan Mengistu, Funkadelia's Minister of Infrastructure, paced back and forth across the marble floor of the royal palace as she waited to be called into her meeting with the Negusa about the solution to the irrigation disaster going on in the country. She looked at the clock every time she paced one way, waiting it for it to move even a few seconds. Her job was on the line, and she knew that she had to do something to convince the Negusa that the Floregasque plan was the best offer they could scrounge up. Emperor Menelik II was stubborn, and there weren't many people out there willing to take a look at Funkadelia as a source of investment, so there wasn't exactly all that many options to choose from. The budget was simply not there for an internal development of the water system. People coming in from somewhere else was absolutely necessary.

Right in the middle of this thought, the giant chamber door a few yards away from Birtukan slowly opened. A young page dressed in a flowing, lime green kaftan poked his head out. "Um, Ms. Mengistu, the Negusa will see you now."

Birtukan clutched her robe and swiftly shuffled into the throne room. She got to her knees until motioned to stand again by the Emperor, as was the ancient custom for official audiences. She wasn't sure why anyone did that, especially when there were only three or four people in the room. That train of thought ended for Birtukan as she had to begin speaking about the much more pressing topic at hand.

"Your highness, as you know, we're here to discuss the urgent remedy to the Aksum irrigation accident. As you know--"

"Let me stop you there, my dear. I've already heard all about it from the servants. I'm sure we can deal with this ourselves." Emperor Menelik slowly drooled out his words, clearly not too badly affected by the idea of parts of his own country being without water.

"With all due respect, there is simply no budget for this project, and we've had a very favorable offer come in from Floresque. It's going to ensure that the jobs are filled by Funkadelian workers while still getting the job done for us."

Menelik sighed and rolled his eyes. "I suppose we could go that way, but I'm not sure why you are so insistent on going with this Floresque contract. Surely there are other offers to deal with."

Birtukan's mind's eye flashed to the thought of a new house on the edge of the city that was offered by the banker over the phone, but returned herself to the current conversation as quickly as she had left it. "Well, yes, but only one, and it's from a Plembobrian company that barely has the money to handle draining a pond in their home country, never mind a foreign irrigation system. Floresque has the capital to get people with experience to work on this project for us, and it can help to open up our relations with the rest of the world as has been our goal for the last few years."

"Very well. Let one of the servants know that they need to set up a conference call between me and the bank as soon as possible. We don't need any more riots around here."

Birtukan nodded her head and turned on her heels to exit the room.