Hey, guys.
Today, I committed an act that was uncalled for, over the line, and wrong. At 2:41 PM, Eastern Standard Time, I sent a link via DM (direct messaging) to a player that brought that same player to a page that contained numerous images and subjects of an inappropriate nature.
Recently, I have been going overboard with the frequency of my joking. I have overused various jokes to the point where they have become irritating and no longer funny. I have also shitposted too much recently, and for both of these things I apologize, but that is not the primary reason for my writing of this post.
When I sent the link to the player, who shall remain nameless, though I have no doubt many know who they are, I was basically just joking around. I thought, "Oh, he'll be like "lol wtf" and then that'll be it". The reaction I received was different than what I had expected, and in addition, when I was confronted by the Moderation Team about the subject, I learned that this was also in violation of the Discord Terms of Service. In essence, I crossed the line, and I wasn't aware that I was doing so.
With all these things in mind, I believe I have learned a slew of very important lessons. It is always important to be careful of one's audience when making jokes. It is always important to read the Terms of Service of every application you install. I also know that, as a veteran roleplayer of three years in this region, more is expected of me, and I will try my very hardest to ensure that these standards of conduct are met.
I have been banned from the TNP Roleplay Discord Server for three days. I will not appeal this ban in any way, shape, or form. There are consequences to one's actions, and I made a mistake. I believe that this punishment is deserved. In addition, this occurrence has led me, in contemplation, to surmise that there are deep-seated psychological reasons for not only why I joke too much, but why I do many other things.
As those of you here who are closer to me may know, (Unless I haven't told anyone. I forget.) I was bullied in elementary school, and until the eighth grade I did not have any friends whatsoever excepting those I made online. Firstly, I believe that me being bullied led to my constant desire for strength and influence both IC and OOC, as when I do not have power, I feel less safe. I also believe that the Internet became my refuge during those tough years, and as a result I have a borderline obsessive need to make people laugh. This is the likely reason for the frequency of my jokes.
Sun Tzu said that to win a battle, you must know your enemy and myself. My enemies are these psychological demons, and by realizing them I am on the path to knowing myself. In the coming 3 days I will be consulting with my parents, my friends both online and in real life, and other people that I care about and who care about me, as well as contemplating with myself, so I may continue walking this path of self-realization and understanding.
If you need to contact me, I'll still be on my own server. I will be using this period, whenever I have free time during it, to engage in various TNPRP-related activities, such as map-making and other forms of worldbuilding; and if you need a post from me, let me know. As well, a personal note to the player who I sent the bad link to- I sincerely hope this does not degrade your opinion of me in a negatively significant manner. I hope we can still be friendly- one RPer to another.
I ask you all to find it in yourselves, if possible, to forgive me, and to help me on this if you can. I will try my best to change my ways, and if any of you catch me seemingly reverting to my old ways, please send me a DM. I should be better, I can be better, and I want to be better.
Thanks for reading this, guys. It means a lot.
Today, I committed an act that was uncalled for, over the line, and wrong. At 2:41 PM, Eastern Standard Time, I sent a link via DM (direct messaging) to a player that brought that same player to a page that contained numerous images and subjects of an inappropriate nature.
Recently, I have been going overboard with the frequency of my joking. I have overused various jokes to the point where they have become irritating and no longer funny. I have also shitposted too much recently, and for both of these things I apologize, but that is not the primary reason for my writing of this post.
When I sent the link to the player, who shall remain nameless, though I have no doubt many know who they are, I was basically just joking around. I thought, "Oh, he'll be like "lol wtf" and then that'll be it". The reaction I received was different than what I had expected, and in addition, when I was confronted by the Moderation Team about the subject, I learned that this was also in violation of the Discord Terms of Service. In essence, I crossed the line, and I wasn't aware that I was doing so.
With all these things in mind, I believe I have learned a slew of very important lessons. It is always important to be careful of one's audience when making jokes. It is always important to read the Terms of Service of every application you install. I also know that, as a veteran roleplayer of three years in this region, more is expected of me, and I will try my very hardest to ensure that these standards of conduct are met.
I have been banned from the TNP Roleplay Discord Server for three days. I will not appeal this ban in any way, shape, or form. There are consequences to one's actions, and I made a mistake. I believe that this punishment is deserved. In addition, this occurrence has led me, in contemplation, to surmise that there are deep-seated psychological reasons for not only why I joke too much, but why I do many other things.
As those of you here who are closer to me may know, (Unless I haven't told anyone. I forget.) I was bullied in elementary school, and until the eighth grade I did not have any friends whatsoever excepting those I made online. Firstly, I believe that me being bullied led to my constant desire for strength and influence both IC and OOC, as when I do not have power, I feel less safe. I also believe that the Internet became my refuge during those tough years, and as a result I have a borderline obsessive need to make people laugh. This is the likely reason for the frequency of my jokes.
Sun Tzu said that to win a battle, you must know your enemy and myself. My enemies are these psychological demons, and by realizing them I am on the path to knowing myself. In the coming 3 days I will be consulting with my parents, my friends both online and in real life, and other people that I care about and who care about me, as well as contemplating with myself, so I may continue walking this path of self-realization and understanding.
If you need to contact me, I'll still be on my own server. I will be using this period, whenever I have free time during it, to engage in various TNPRP-related activities, such as map-making and other forms of worldbuilding; and if you need a post from me, let me know. As well, a personal note to the player who I sent the bad link to- I sincerely hope this does not degrade your opinion of me in a negatively significant manner. I hope we can still be friendly- one RPer to another.
I ask you all to find it in yourselves, if possible, to forgive me, and to help me on this if you can. I will try my best to change my ways, and if any of you catch me seemingly reverting to my old ways, please send me a DM. I should be better, I can be better, and I want to be better.
Thanks for reading this, guys. It means a lot.
-Syr
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