Sports News

BIER IST GUT
National Kannexan Beer-Pong Tournament
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Ever wanted to impress those schlamps at the local bar down the street? Ever want to relive the days where you had free time to party and feel important for the only time in your life? Ever want to spend an entire weekend getting pig-faced drunk?

Well, wait no longer!

Here at the Tsingtao Stadium in Manhatt, Jurchland, we're offering a chance for you to shine, even while shit-faced!

The National Beer-Pong Tournament is an age-old tradition proudly presented by the Manhatt Association of Bars and Breweries. Come and join the fun!

Entrance fee is 20 Marks, and the 1st place winner receives 10,000 Marks.

*Your alcohol blood level must be at a certain minimum to enter.
*We are not responsible for any deaths, injuries, liver damage, drunken texts to ex-girlfriends, or moronic purchases while under the influence at this event.
*Drink responsibly.
 
The Kilamba Blues Corporation
A Joint Statement by St. Agatha's High School, Alba Longa; & the Tribunal for Restoring Historical Perceptions of the Imperium

Announcement of Acquisition of the Kilamba Blues by the August Brokerage Council




At nine o'clock this morning, local time, representatives of St. Agatha's High School, Alba Longa; & the Tribunal for Restoring Historical Perceptions of the Imperium (on behalf of Imperium Augustum), signed an unprecedented acquisition agreement with representatives of shareholders in the Naizerri National League 1 club, the Kilamba Blues. The text and negotiation of the acquisitions agreement parallel those of the August acquisition of the Tamerlan Corporation, Plembobria, itself carefully negotiated to maximize the protection of local jobs and managerial autonomy for the acquired corporation.


The Kilamba Blues are best known for being the first Naizerri team to acquire a foreign player, Seneca Barbus of Imperium, an offensive libero in the typical August fashion. In the following days, he worked to build a working relationship between the Tribunal for Restoring Historical Perceptions of the Imperium, a Senate working group chaired by the Patrician Aemilius Ephyrus Angelis; the Kilamba Blues; & his former club, the St. Agatha's Alumni side. Seneca Barbus' work culminated in the development of an acquisition agreement, guaranteeing the Kilamba Blues administrative and managerial independence on the field and in the selection and development of players, whilst merchandising, sponsorship, and branding responsibilities are to be subsumed by the August Brokerage Council, on behalf of a number of August stakeholders - primarily, the August No-Contact Football Association, and St. Agatha's High School.

It is hoped that the Kilamba Blues will form the capstone of a new international tradition of football, bringing August sensibilities on sporting branding and audiences to an unparalleled Naizerri understanding of the game, spearheaded by the Kilamba Blues' development of a new aggressive, fast-paced playstyle, as exemplified by their acquisition of offensive libero Seneca Barbus. The new management of the Kilamba Blues corporation has indicated that it intends to prove itself as a pillar of Naizerre sports ownership, by providing a channel through which players for the Kilamba Blues can work towards meeting Naizerri and August educational and player developmental staffing requirements, following their retirement from the pitch. It is hoped that under August ownership, players for the Kilamba Blues will become a mainstay of international sports management and education.
 
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