[img=105,105]http://i.imgur.com/ZwlAdVn.png[/img]
PARLIAMENT OF ORCHIDS
SEGLIPTOSTROB
To whomever it may concern,
It is admittedly rare that the Parliament of the Mycorrhizal Union asks me to reach out directly to the heads-of-state and learned scholars of foreign nations, as the affairs of foreigners, for better or for worse, mean little to the wizards, philosophers, sorcerers, and biomagicians of the Union. Many of them would rather be at home with their studies than at work even in the halls of their own nation's legislature, let alone bothering themselves with the affairs of others. But the Parliament narrowly voted this morning to request I write to you, and therefore I am bound by law and duty to do so.
An incident occurred late last month that has come to the attention of the Parliament of Orchids. This incident has the potential to affect peoples abroad, and though the chance of it doing so is exceedingly low, it is not zero.
A volcanic eruption in the north of the Mycorrhizal Union last summer - more specifically in the constituency of Minister Leucoari set-Nympharum - ejected a particularly large piece of pumice stone about the size and shape of a tall man. In the course of his studies of this object, Minister Leucoari sculpted this piece of pumice using solid sounds into the a more accurate shape of a man and imbued it with magiartifical animato-intelligence; "bringing [this pumice] to life" would be a woefully inaccurate method of describing the result but might get the point across.
His method of doing so, to be honest, was surprisingly elementary but I will review the basics for those unfamiliar with the work of thaumautomata-crafters like Minister Leucoari.
As I'm sure you're aware, all space is made up of an infinite number of planes, transfinitely small in height and infinitely long and wide. Imagine taking one of these planes and turning it into graph paper; every square is either black or white (as we all know, colors are meaningless at the transfinitely small plane level, but this is merely a thought experiment). Depending on the color of each square, the colors of the orthagonally adjacent ones change depending on any number of rulesets. Whenever a square's color changes, the colors of the orthagonally adjacent squares to
it change depending on the ruleset and so on. As you can imagine, it is quite easy to construct a method of state-changing that continues forever with this process.
It's easy enough to imagine this process in three dimensions, though the proclivities of non-planar geometry do result in some interesting changes to this model. Using a method of interspacial-discrete magiprojection, Minister Leucoari succeeded in projecting an automata like the one described above onto the three-dimensional shape of the pumice-man, or, as he termed it, "golem". Again, this is an elementary application of magicelluar thaumautomata regularly practiced in graduate schools across the Union.
It was Leucoari's novel and even ingenious idea to apply this interspacial-discrete magiprojection into
four dimensions that lead to the situation we find ourselves into today. Using phrases such as "onto" or even "into" would be quite useless when discussing more than three dimensions, but nevertheless Minister Leucoari succeeded in magiprojecting this elementary thaumautomata
into the fourth dimension of the pumice golem, and thus after only a few weeks of running, the thaumautomata lurched the being into magianimation.
Leucoari, teaching a class far to the south at the University of Segliptostrob at the time, did not notice what had happened for a full week and in the intervening time the pumice golem walked through the wall of his workshop - as well as the walls of several other fungally- and arborally-constructed buildings in town. Eventually, the pumice golem found its way into the ocean and as far as we know is drifting with the currents to the southeast.
Minister Leucoari is quite happy with his creation but, of course, sees the inconvenience of it wandering, unstoppable, through the entire world. The Parliament of Orchids, as you may be able to guess from this letter, evidently agrees. You are receiving this communication because the Mycorrhizal Union would like to invite you to send a representative of your nation to a conference to be held in Segliptostrob to form an international team dedicated to stopping this pumice golem from causing any more unneeded destruction and allowing it to be transported back to the Union in a deactivated form for further study.
Special skills are requested and, indeed, necessary for this mission. As a being made of pure volcanic stone, the pumice golem is exceptionally resistant to the Union's biologically-centered magic theory. I, and the entire Parliament of Orchids, thank you for your time and hope that you are able to send someone with an appropriate skillset to help the Union in this mission.
In sincerity,
Dr. Rhodoarren set-Galeropsis, MgD
Prime Minister of the Mycorrhizal Union
Archmagister of the Geometrical Architects' Guild
