An adaptation of the Flemingovian Hymn Book

This thread will be used for a gradual adaption of the Book of Flemingovia into a national RP context. I've spoken to Flemingovia and I have his permission to edit the scripture to make it more suitable to nation based RP. If you have comments or questions then let me know.

Please note that this is a work in progress.

The Book of Flemingovia​

Chapter 1

1. IN the beginning was Maxx, and all was formless and void. 2. And Maxx wrote the first book of books, and the words of that book he fashioned the world. 3. and the world was called Eras. 4. And Maxx created powers in the world, and called them Moderators. 5. Rostam was given dominion over all, the god of power and strength; Zahhak was created as the god of moderation. 6. Vipers upon his shoulders, to always guard him. 7. Zahhak, frustrated by the greed and lust of mankind abandoned the Kingdom of Maxx forever.

8. Maxx grieved for the loss of Zahhak. 9. In his grief, he created nations for people to live in. 10. He created the lands of the north - a forbidden place. 9. He created eastern islands – a place of chaos where decisions would never happen. 9. he created central and southern continents. 10. But best of all he created the western lands to be his delight and his joy.

11. And Maxx said, “It is not good for my most beloved of worlds to be without a God. 12. So he created Flemingovia to rule wisely over the people, so that they might prosper. 13. Flemingovia appeared before his people on the Sacred Mountain of Cape El. 14. He said unto his people.

15. I AM YOUR GOD
16. I AM OLDER THAN MUSIC
17. I AM OLDER THAN SPEECH
18. I AM OLDER THAN THOUGHT
19. I BRING WITH ME THE SKY
20. I BRING WITH ME THE LAND
21. I BRING WITH ME THE OCEAN
22. IT IS NOT CHANCE
23. IT IS MY DOING
24. IT IS MY CREATION

25. And the people rejoiced 26 For they knew now they had found a saviour they could believe in. 27. For a time, all was well within Eras. 28. But the people suffered, as Zahhkan released his dark thoughts upon the minds of the innocent.

29. And so the people rebelled against Maxx and Flemingovia. 30 “We want our own god” they said. 31. So they created an idol to worship. 32. The idol had many words and many clauses. And they called the idol “Constitution”. 33. The idol rejected the old ways and the good deeds of maxx. 34. and they worshiped it.

35. Zahhak had hidden himself amongst the innocent people of Eras. 36. The vile act of treachery and dishonesty had become second nature to Zahhak. 37. Those who questioned him were poisoned by his vipers. 38. Those who disagreed with him, were outcast into oblivion.

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Chapter 2

1. And Maxx grew angry with the people, and their Constitution, a false idol dedicated to Zahhak, and sent many plagues to smite the people. 2. The first plague he called “Confusion”. 3. The words of constitution were made so contradictory and the clauses so confusing that none could understand them. 4. Yet the people were stubborn and still they obeyed Constitution. 5. The second plague he called “Decline”. 6. Many people deserted Erastide saying “we will no longer follow Constitution” 7. until only a few were left, with the prophets of the constitution who interpreted its words ruling over them: Elaheh the ignorant and Gholam - a servant of Zahhak. 8. The third plague he called “Justices”. 9. The people chose Judges to rule over them. 10. But Maxx made the judges to be ignorant and foolish, unable to make a decision or even to tell the time. 11. Yet the people were stubborn and still they obeyed Constitution. 13. The final plague he called “Slavery”. 14. Maxx caused the people to become the servants of Constitution, obeying its every whim.

15 And the constitution sore oppressed them. And the people languished and begged for a saviour.

Chapter 3

1 And Flemingovia saw the suffering of the people, and he went and stood before Maxx. 2 And he said “The people are suffering from Confusion and Decline and Justices and Slavery. 3 Let me go down and show them my ways, so that they may be happy and prosperous. 4 And Maxx agreed. 5. The people had suffered long enough.

6 So Flemingovia went to the people and said “7 No longer follow the Constitution which oppresses you. Follow my ways and my laws, which are shorter and simpler.” 8 And the people rejoiced. 9 But then Gholam spoke up and said 10 “The constitution is your master. You must do what it says. 11 You have no free will, except what the Constitution grants you.” 12 And the people were afraid.

13 Then Elaheh the ignorant spoke with silken words, and he said 14 “the constitution can be easily tweaked so that these plagues leave us. 15 If you just pray to the constitution, it will change. 16 Then you will be happy and all the plagues will be over. 17 All it takes is a little tinkering." 18 And the people said "Elaheh, what do you mean?"

19 and they were confused.

20 So the people preferred slavery, and rejected Flemingovia and his ways, except for a righteous few who saw the light. 21 Led by King Kian the Benevolent they built a Temple in Intelligentsia.

22 But Zahhkan saw the Temple, and he was jealous.

Chapter 4

1 And it came to pass that on the 14th day of the month of Nisan, the followers of Flemingovia were worshiping in the Temple, peacefully exercising their faith. 2 But Zahhkan entered the Temple. And he was angry. 3 And he said “who gave you the right to build this Temple? 4 And the people said King Kian! 5 And Zahhkan trembled with rage, and he said “The King, that insignificant nobody? 6 I am the guardian of Constitution. Kian shall be brought down, if it takes me a dozen plagues. 7 I am the power in this world. 8 Nobody since Maxx has held the power that I have. 9 Now Maxx is weak and old. 10 You are peasants who exist to do my will – you shall not disobey me. 11 I alone am the Law in Eras, for I am GOD…. Hang on, did I say all that out loud?”

1 And the people were afraid.

12 And Zahhkan demolished the Temple and drove Flemingovia and his followers out of Intelligentsia. 13 And as they left, Zaahkan cried out, 14 “That will teach you to listen to fucking so-called Kings. I am the power in Eras, and don’t you forget it. In this region, I AM THE LAW!”

15 And the people wept.

Chapter 5

1 And it came to pass that the people went to Zahhkan and said to him “now that Flemingovia is expelled from Intelligentsia what shall we do for wisdom and guidance?” 2 And Zahhkan considered the matter.

3 And Zahhkan asked Ghoulam to set up a stone statue in the people's assembly, and he told the people “This stone statue will look and listen but will do nothing. 4 You are to call this statue “Diablu”, and it will be your guide from now on. 5 Diablu will speak as I instruct him unto you. And you will call him "Inquisitor", for he will speak my words to you."

6 But the people said “is not this statue the same Diablu we will not speak to, for he is a heathen? 7 Why then should we go to him for wisdom?” 8 And Zahhkan said “shut up”

9 So the people went to Diablu and asked their questions. 10 They said “Why are we so unhappy since Flemingovia was driven out of Intelligentsia?”

11 And Diablu replied “Respect me or I'll report you, sir”

12 And the people furrowed their brows and said “whut? That does not answer the question. ”

13 And the people said “there are many among us who are bone idle, and do not serve the peoples assembly. What should be done?”

14 And Diablu replied “Respect me or I'll report you, sir”

15 And the people said “but your name is among them. Should not you also be punished”

16 And Diablu replied “Respect me or I'll report you, sir”

17 And the people grew wise to Diablu's ways, and they said “let us test Diablu. Diablu, what is 2+2?”

18 And Diablu replied “Respect me or I'll report you, sir”

19 And the people realised that they would never hear wisdom from the lips of Diablu, and would never see any action from him. 20 So they began to weep all the more for someone to save them.

21 And Diablu saw their sorrow. 22 But all he would say was “Respect me or I'll report you, sir”

Chapter 6

1 And the people said “Diablu should not be in the People's Assembly. It is contrary to our laws.” 2 So they laid hands upon the statue of Diablu and started to drag him from the Assembly. 3 But Diablu could not be moved until Zahhkan decided that he should move.

4 And Zahhkan entered the city.

5 And the people spoke to Zahhkan and said “Diablu should not be in the People's Assembly. It is contrary to our laws.”

6 And Zahhkan's face was as thunder, and he spoke harshly to the people. 7 And he said “Diablu is my representative, who speaks as I desire him to speak and decides as I want him to decide. 8 Although the Law says that he should be removed, I am above the Law because I decide what the Law means. And I decide that Diablu must stay.”

9 And the people said “we are many and you are one. This is a democracy. Why should you decide against our will?”

10 And Zahhkan said “you are right when you say that Intelligentsia is a democracy. 11 A democracy means “one man, one vote.” In TNP I am the man and I get the vote. 12 Now shut the fuck up and do as you are told. Diablu stays until I decide that he goes.”

13 And the people were sad.

14 The woodcutters and the huntsman gathered at the south of Intelligentsia. 15 They had decided something must be done about Zahhkan and Diablu. 16 "We must kill them" one man said. 17 "A god cannot be killed" said another.

18 Zahhkan observed this meeting and decided they must be punished. 19 "Ghoulam" Zahhkan called "Yes, master" Ghoulham had returned from the east of Asiah. 20 Zahhkan ordered that all the woodcutters and huntsman be put to death. 21 "Take their first born children as punishment" he said.

22 And the woodcutters and huntsman were put to deaths. 23 Mothers wept as their children were butchered before their ayes. 24 "Who will save us?" the mothers wept

24 And Diablu spoke and said “Respect me or I'll report you, sir” 25 But his words were as ashes in the ears of the people, for they knew that there would be no freedom and no liberty and no rule of law so long as Zahhkan ruled over Eras.

26 And they longed for the Temple that Zahhkan had destroyed. They longed to be free.

Chapter 7 – The Fall of Diablu

1 But the clamour against Diablu grew louder and louder, for the people knew that he should not be in the people's Assembly. 2 But the louder the people shouted, the more Diablu refused to leave.

3 So Zahhkan stood up and began to speak. 4 And he spoke many, many words. 5 All day he spoke, and all night, and through the next day. 6 He appealed to Constitution, he appealed to the Constitution that had been there before the Constitution. He appealed to the traditions of their forefathers that everyone had forgotten except him. He appealed to the traditions of those shadowy days between the Constitutions. 7 And as he spoke the eyes of the people grew heavy.

8 And the people fell asleep, and they slept.

9 And Diablu grew bold, and he began to speak, echoing the words of Zahhkan. 10 Everything that Zahhkan spoke, Diablu repeated.

11 And Elaheh the Nomad returned from his travels. And nobody knew where he had been. 12 But Diablu and Zahhkan rejoiced, thinking “Elaheh will speak and the people will listen, and they will end their clamour.” 13 But Elaheh added his voice to the voice of the People. 14 And so Diablu knew that the people would soon remove him from the People's Assembly, so he left, crying out and demanding an apology.

15 And the people rejoiced.

16 But Zahhkan said “Now you have disobeyed me, and I will introduce my wrath to the people". 17 And he introduced Pairika to the people.

18 And the people said “who is Pairika, that we should obey her? What will she do for us?

19 And Pairika said "I am the Queen of the the darkness 20 and lady of the great fire

21 Obey me and you shall be spared

22 And the people’s hearts grew heavy because they knew that nothing had changed in Eras

Chapter 8 - the writing on the wall.

[1]And it came to pass that in the second year of his reign, King Kian gave a great feast for a thousand of his nobles and he drank wine with them. [2]And Flemingovia was among them.

[3]While Kian and Flemingovia were drinking their wine, suddenly the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall, near the lampstand of the King's palace. [4]And Kian and Flemingovia watched the hand as it wrote. [5]Kian’s face turned pale and he became so frightened that his legs became weak and his knees were knocking.

[6]And Kian summoned all the enchaters, astrologers, and diviners and he said to the wise men of the North Pacific, “[7]Whoever reads this writing and tells me what it means will be clothed in purple and have a gold chain placed around his neck, and he will be made the third highest ruler in the Kingdom.”

[8]And the words that the ghostly hand wrote were these: EXCUSATIONE EXIGO.

[9]And Flemingovia spoke and said “May the King live for ever! Do not be alarmed and do not look so pale! The hand that you saw was the hand of Diablu and this is what the words that he wrote in the language of the ancients mean:

[10]EXCUSATIONE: An apology.

[11]EXIGO: I demand.

[12]And Kian grew angry, and he said “who is this Diablu to demand an apology from me? I did not write his name in the list of nobles who may attend this gathering. I will not apologise to him.

[13]But Flemingovia decided to show his love for all humankind, and his tolerance of the the weak of mind, and he wrote a touching yet troublingly homoerotic apology to Diablu.

[14]And Diablu snubbed and ignored the apology of Flemingovia.

[15]Then Zahhkan entered the Temple and said “Diablu is my beloved, my child. Who are you, Flemingovia, that people call you God? And who are you, Kian, that you are titled Delegate? [16]I am Zahhkan, the creation of Maxx himself. I am above the Law and my word IS the Law. [17]Hear therefore what I decree concerning Diablu”

[18]And Zahhkan gave five commandments concerning Diablu:

[19]Thou shalt not call disrespect Diablu or he shall report it and thou shalt be punished.

[20]No King may punish Diablu, no matter what he says or does, for I, Zahhkan, am a tolerant God with a soft touch. I shall overturn any warning given to Diablu, and thou shalt be bitchslapped for your actions.

[21]Thou shalt not exclude Diablu from any assembly, or else thou shalt be punished.

[22]If thou offendest Diablu, he shall demand an apology of you. If you ignore him, thou shalt be punished.

[23]Even if Diablu is forbidden from other worlds, in Eras he is untouchable, for I AM GOD


[24]And Kian and Flemingovia and all the people went and pondered these words. And they were sorrowful.

[25]And Kian replastered the wall.

reserved