[Draft] HMS Unicorn Setting Sail

Delegate HMS Unicorn started his Delegacy to heavily biased and unjustifiable criticism - described as being like an accountant, beige, and boring, his critics sort to sink the Delegacy before it could set sail. The newly elected Delegate would not be deterred by what TNPers knew to be complete nonsense, and his time in the Delegacy quickly proved any of his critics wrong. To put it simply: the Delegacy of HMS Unicorn over the past 8 months has been exemplary, and extraordinary. The achievements of the former Delegate include (but are not limited to), the introduction of the executive staff, the overhaul of citizenship legal reform, and the introduction of the World Assembly Development Program (WADP).

The executive staff (ES) reform saw an unprecedented level of involvement in the running and management of Cabinet Ministry’s from citizens of the North Pacific. The ES was effectively used to encourage new members to join our forum and have a fast tracked path into the Ministry. The program focused on teamwork, effective management & delegation, and helping individual members to participate in a way that they found the most enjoyable. While individual Minister’s also provided a key role in the execution of this program, Delegate HMS Unicorn was the chief facilitator of the Executive Staff. In every area of the Executive Staff, as a driving force for activity and reform, Delegate HMS Unicorn’s touch and hard work was felt. No task was too big or too small, no idea too silly or unnecessary, the Delegate provided the best example of hard workmanship, team work, and of course leadership, in the development of this important part of his agenda.

The World Assembly Development Program (WADP), jointly sponsored by the Delegate and Security Council, saw a renewed vigor for endotarting in the North Pacific - which has always been relatively famous for it’s lax approach to endorsement limits. For years now, nations in the North Pacific have been able to quickly gain more than 100, or even 200 endorsements within a single update. Delegate HMS Unicorn used this enthusiasm for endotarting to dramatically improve the security of the North Pacific, and to guarantee the long term stability of our great region. Regional security in game created regions has for a long time focused on the consolidation of influence in the hands of the few. This initiative, reflects the reality of what actually occurs when the Delegate goes rogue, or the Delegacy is usurped by a foreign force. The real difference occurs with the number of WA nations that the Delegate can ban from the region, to drive down the count of the legitimate Delegate and to cling on to the Delegacy for as long as they can. The WADP directly encourages nations to tart regularly, to gain influence, and to continue to pay attention to what is going on in their region. A greater level of endorsements and influence across all nations in the North Pacific benefits the security of the entire region in the long run. This program has been supplemented by real awards and encouragement from the Delegate, and members of the Security Council, and is very likely to remain a strong part of TNP Democracy in the years to come.

Finally, the overhaul of the citizenship reform in the North Pacific tackled a rather controversial issue in the interests of improving the region, maximising participation of TNP nations, and preserving the continued democratic values of the North Pacific. For years, the Regional Assembly had been a requirement for TNPers who wished to vote or serve in government positions. VIce Delegate Abacathea and Chief Justice Democratic Donkeys are two recent examples of active officials who were removed as a result of the strict RA voting requirements. Delegate HMS Unicorn saw a flaw in the system and immediately strived to fix it - actively convincing long time TNPers, and carefully explaining the effects of the changes to all who asked. It was because of the Delegate’s careful approach to this controversial issue, that the Regional Assembly overwhelmingly voted to support his proposed changes. This was a real and tangible example of strong leadership from Delegate HMS Unicorn.

This article touched on a couple of the most significant achievements of the Delegacy of HMS Unicorn. There would not have been enough space for one article to cover them all; from the Democratic Union, the Lennart Awards, the TNP Trivia Game, Stories of the North Pacific, the high point of more than 600 endorsements, the breaking of the modern NPA deployment record, the continued development and strengthening of TNP foreign relations, the excellent mentorship Delegate HMS Unicorn provided to new nations, and finally, the incorruptible and unwavering dedication he provided to the North Pacific under his stewardship over the last 8 months.

As a former Delegate, a Cabinet Minister since 2012, and as Delegate HMS Unicorn’s Foreign Minister over the last 8 months of TNP Governance, I thank him for his constant efforts to improving and strengthening the North Pacific, and today as the current WA Delegate I am honoured, to have him serve as WA Minister in my cabinet.

A few notes:

-I think the beginning could be strengthened greatly by a couple of quotes from detractors right after the election. Could you grab something from TRR's coverage of r3n's first election?
-I think that a celebratory tone is appropriate, but this may go a bit overboard in places. I will likely go through and scale it back some.
-We can probably trade the last two paragraphs for a quote from r3n to cap it off.

That's what jumped out at me so far. I'll go through in more detail soon. Grab those quotes

Will do.

Just gave it a quick look over and the following things jumped out at me:

While I understand that this is an opinion piece, phrases like "our great region" and "exemplary and extraordinary" scream "propaganda" to me. We should trust TNL's readers to judge for themselves that r3n's accomplishments are varied and numerous. Phrases like "actively convincing" in the third-to-last paragraph also contribute to this. Adverbs should be used sparingly, lest the whole sentence reads like an email filled with corporate buzzwords. While some explicit praise for r3n is warranted, an excessive amount might turn a reader off to the whole thing, maybe making them consider it sycophantic.

The paragraph on the World Assembly Development Program could be shortened somewhat without losing its meaning. Even simple changes, like shortening "For years now, nations in the North Pacific have been able to quickly gain more than 100, or even 200 endorsements within a single update." to "For years now, nations in the North Pacific have been able to gain up to 200 endorsements in a simple update" would, when accumulated, streamline the article and keep readers interested. If you haven't read Politics and the English Language by Orwell, the passages on short and plain speaking can be very instructive.

Some of the space gained from a shortening of the WADP paragraph could be used to write a short explanation of what endotarting is. While most readers will be familiar with this concept, others may not.

As COE said, quotes would be helpful. In fact, quotes from people doubting r3n or his policies could be explicitly refuted by you, the author. This is a common rhetorical tactic, but would engage a reader's mental faculties at a level beyond simple praise, making the praise that remains less obvious.

Overall I think this is a good opinion piece that just needs to be tightened in some places and expanded in others. One or two more drafts would make this ready to publish in my opinion.

We will need to update the content of this, and do a re-write. The story is now r3n's legacy in the context of his departure from the game.