The Aurora Alliance first draft

Pauline Bonaparte

Pauline Bonaparte

Her Worshipfulness
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TNP Nation
Floresque
Discord
DivaythFyr
Aurora Alliance renewed and expanded

A treaty between the North Pacific and the South Pacific renewing the Aurora Alliance passed the Regional Assembly of the North Pacific handily on January 24. The updated treaty already passed the Assembly of the South Pacific earlier in the month, meaning that with the North Pacific’s ratification the new treaty came into force.

The new document includes several mandates upon the signatories not included in the previous one, including clauses requiring in-game embassies, intelligence sharing, and cultural cooperation. McMasterdonia, in introducing the resolution, called the new treaty a “vast improvement” and encouraged the Assembly to think of the long alliance between the North and South Pacifics and of the warm friendship between them.

Speaking on the aid that the two signatories have lended to each other in the past, McMasterdonia said the North Pacific was “the strongest and most unwavering supporter of the Coalition [of the South Pacific]” during Milograd’s coup, and called it a “great day” when the united forces of the North and South Pacific restored the democratically-elected Coalition to power. McMasterdonia went on to thank the forces of the South Pacific for offering help when his nation was accidentally ejected from the World Assembly.

The new treaty’s most substantial addition was the intelligence sharing section. Here the signatories formalized procedures for the disclosure of relevant intelligence gathered by either region; with such information going to the Security Council of the North Pacific or the Committee for State Security of the South Pacific, depending on to whom the inteligence was relevant. Looking back on a time where the Delegate of the South Pacific had to discuss vital intelligence in “private, non-governmental areas”, McMasterdonia called these changes a “great improvement”.

In addition, the new document allows the two regions to be on opposite sides of a gameplay operation without such a situation being considered an attack by one government on the other. This new clause, designed to guarantee each region’s sovereignty to choose themselves which operations to take part in, was likewise called by McMasterdonia an improvement upon the old treaty, which had no such clause.

The renewed treaty serves as an affirmation by both governments that this fruitful alliance will continue. Though the new document was debated robustly by the Regional Assembly, the final tally of the vote - 35 ayes to 7 nays and 8 abstentions - shows that the common people of the North Pacific support the new changes as well.
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Wasn't sure what to put for dates on the Milograd coup and McMasterdonia's WA being ejected. Also would like to work on the conclusion but nothing is jumping out at me right now on what improvements to make there.
 
This is a nice draft :) . Here are some suggestions on the article, primarily on content:

1) The title is somewhat inaccurate. The term "Aurora Alliance" is a new name that was coined during the negotiations, when we were looking for a name for the treaty. The previous treaty did not have a name, and the treaty before that, which also included other regions besides TSP, was called the "Azure Alliance". So I don't think we can talk about a renewed Aurora Alliance.

As for the name itself, we selected it for a few reasons (or at least these were the reasons why I suggested it, I can't speak for why others liked it):
-The aurora happens in the arctic (north) and antarctic (south) parts of the planet, including the north and south pacific, as aurora borealis and aurora australis respectively. It is a shared and unique characteristic of these regions.
-The aurora borealis (the northern lights) has been featured prominently in TNP culture recently, including in the name of our newspaper and in the semi-official regional nation.
-It sounds cool :P .

2) I think providing some context on the negotiations will improve the article, and is important for a comprehensive presentation of the story. The original suggestion for an updated treaty was made back in April 2014, by then Delegate mcm and MoFA r3n to our TSP counterparts, Escade and Kringalia respectively. At the time, both regions had other ongoing priorities, and seeing that the treaty update was not something urgent, we did not pursue it.

The issue was brought up again in TSP in November 2014, during their MoFA elections. Following the conclusion of the elections, I approached newly-elected MoFA Raven, and we decided to fast-track the project. We drafted the new treaty during December, with input from MoFA mcm and TSP's Cabinet, and selected New Year's Day as a symbolic date for the signing. The signing was done in our embassy in TSP's forum.

3) I think it's worth emphasizing the twofold purpose of the new treaty. One, as the article already covers, was to bring the date up to the standards of modern diplomatic documents. By including the various provisions that are typical in modern treaties, including our own most recent ones, the document becomes much more effective a framework for our bilateral relationship.

The other was symbolic but still very important. It was to reaffirm our relationship as a cornerstone of the two regions' foreign policy. This is represented strongly in the treaty preamble. TSP is our oldest and closest ally, and the treaty renewal was a robust diplomatic gesture that both regions remain committed to this relationship. I think this second aspect is not highlighted adequately in the article. Since you were asking about that, it could serve as a good expansion for your conclusion.

EDIT: My apologies, I just noticed that this was posted in the Editor's Desk, not Comm HQ. I think I only have posting rights here as Global Mod. I'll leave the above comments, but refrain from posting in the future.
 
This is very good. I think a brief paragraph on the negotiation process would cap it off nicely. Also, I suggest approaching involved parties in the negotiations for comment. Once that's done I imagine this will go to press with little modification. Great job!
 
New 'Aurora Alliance' affirms friendship, expands ties

A treaty between the North Pacific and the South Pacific creating the 'Aurora Alliance' passed the Regional Assembly of the North Pacific handily on January 24. The updated treaty already passed the Assembly of the South Pacific earlier in the month, meaning that with the North Pacific’s ratification the new treaty came into force.

The new treaty had a long negotiation process, starting in April 2014. The delegates of the North and South Pacifics, along with their foreign affairs ministries, opened discussions of a treaty expanding on previous ones, most notably the one establishing the Azure Alliance, to which the North and South Pacific were signatories. Other issues, though, prevented serious talks from occurring until November of last year; a drafting process throughout November led to the signing of the new treaty on New Year's Day, 2015, in the South Pacific's regional forum. The date was a symbolic one - illustrating a "new beginning" to an old friendship.

The new document includes several mandates upon the signatories not included in previous treaties, including clauses requiring in-game embassies, intelligence sharing, and cultural cooperation. McMasterdonia, in introducing the resolution, called the new treaty a “vast improvement” and encouraged the Assembly to think of the long alliance between the North and South Pacifics and of the warm friendship between them.

Speaking on the aid that the two signatories have lended to each other in the past, McMasterdonia said the North Pacific was “the strongest and most unwavering supporter of the Coalition [of the South Pacific]” during Milograd’s coup, and called it a “great day” when the united forces of the North and South Pacific restored the democratically-elected Coalition to power. McMasterdonia went on to thank the forces of the South Pacific for offering help when his nation was accidentally ejected from the World Assembly. For many, though, the friendship between the North and South Pacifics goes without saying. The two regions have been allies for years, and McMasterdonia's statements merely illuminated some major milestones in that friendship.

The new treaty’s most substantial addition was the intelligence sharing section. Here the signatories formalized procedures for the disclosure of relevant intelligence gathered by either region; with such information going to the Security Council of the North Pacific or the Committee for State Security of the South Pacific, depending on to whom the inteligence was relevant. Looking back on a time where the Delegate of the South Pacific had to discuss vital intelligence in “private, non-governmental areas”, McMasterdonia called these changes a “great improvement”.

In addition, the new document allows the two regions to be on opposite sides of a gameplay operation without such a situation being considered an attack by one government on the other. This new clause, designed to guarantee each region’s sovereignty to choose themselves which operations to take part in, was likewise called by McMasterdonia an improvement upon the old treaty, which had no such clause.

The renewed treaty serves as an affirmation by both governments that this fruitful alliance will continue. Though the new document was debated robustly by the Regional Assembly, the final tally of the vote - 35 ayes to 7 nays and 8 abstentions - shows that the common people of the North Pacific support the new changes as well.
Click to expand...

Sorry this is late; came down with the flu last week and just got over it. Any thoughts concerning the additions?
 
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