WARZONE SANDBOX FALLS TO CITIZENS' MILITIA; ASSOCIATION OF IMPERIALISM SET TO DISSOLVE
[img=329,480]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/bb/Pauline_Bonaparte_princesse_Borghese.jpg/329px-Pauline_Bonaparte_princesse_Borghese.jpg[/img] Her Worshipfulness Pauline Bonaparte is a part-time columnist for the Voice of the People and a member of the Taijitu Citizens' Militia.
OPINION
by PAULINE BONAPARTE
You can imagine my surprise today when, while being carried to my morning bath of milk and honey by a dashing servant, I was informed that the Association of Imperialism - that motley crew, led by the indominable Rifty, trying to unite the Warzones - was on the brink of collapse.
Now granted, they weren't going to completely disappear off the face of the Earth as I dared to hope; instead they seemed set to move to Balder, as Rifty tired of being a founder. This turn of events shocked me - I was just settling into my new palace in Warzone Sandbox when the news came and it seemed out of the blue. But as I soaked in my bath, I thought on it and it soon all made sense.
I suppose I should start from the beginning - about a week ago, our esteemed colleagues in Aura Hyperia made a run for Warzone Australia and joined the Imperialists. This concerned me, as well as my allies back home in Taijitu. The Association of Imperialism - a group of raiders that often bothered role-play regions - seemed set to complete their goal of unifying the Warzones under one banner. Quickly removing my feet from the decolletage of a lady-in-waiting lying at my feet, I rushed to see what could be done.
The Citizens' Militia was swiftly called up and that evening we took Warzone Australia, removing Aura Hyperia from the region and - I'll admit - having a little fun with the World Factbook Entry at their expense. With help from my esteemed friend, the Right Honorable Gentleman The Kumquat Fairy, the Militia explained our motives and, by the minor update the next day, cleared the region and left. I thought this would be the end of my little excursion into gameplay and that soon I could return to the parties and feasts I so dearly love.
Just yesterday morning, though, I recieved notification that Rifty was again running his mouth; bragging about raiding role-play regions. You can imagine my consternation - a rather fetching artist, applying clay all over my body for a sculpture I commissioned - had to cease work so I could deal with this nonsense. The Militia was again called, so that we could see what to do about this affront.
It was decided that we should take Warzone Sandbox - a member region of the Association of Imperialism and one that was lightly defended; we had little desire to waste our energies on a bigger target. While preparing for our assault that night, we heard word that Aura Hyperia had suffered a great calamity. While at first, I admit, there was rejoicing, the extent of the catastrophe soon became known. It involved no less than total forum destruction, a cleared region, and password protection. We mourned our fallen Hyperian colleagues but decided to continue with the action against Warzone Sandbox.
The update came and Warzone Sandbox was easily taken. Again we had a bit of fun with the World Factbook Entry, but we let the natives be and preserved the regional flag and dispatches. More exchanges followed between my good friend the Kumquat Fairy, and members of the Imperialist regime; overall, though, it was a quiet occupation. I must thank our friends with the North Pacific Army for helping us hold this target so that members of Taijitu Militia might go and help operations elsewhere.
I went to bed that evening happy that we had knocked the Imperialists down a peg... or two, but this morning, as I said earlier, I was informed that the Association of Imperialism was near collapse - with the entire community prepared to move to Balder!
"How can this be?!" I asked myself, combing milk and honey through my long hair. "Was it because of the tragedy in Aura Hyperia? That's possible."
"Or perhaps it was because of our great victories in Warzones Australia and, a week later, Sandbox. Perhaps Rifty saw that there was no victory he could get in his war to unify the Warzones that couldn't be undone in a single update. Perhaps he saw that it was time to take a step away from leadership, after those disasterous losses to a region that, as he put it, was 'just a role play region with a small military that grew some balls'. Or perhaps he decided that after losing member regions left and right to tight, professional forces with military precision, it was time to learn a thing or two about how to raid in a large, game-created region."
"No," I thought to myself. "It must just be a coincidence."
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