SSSA #3

SillyString

TNPer
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Dear SillyString, how do I get to be as good as you at saying things like "accusative interrogative personal pronoun" and actually know what that means? How did you get so good at words?
- Mysterious Monkfish


Well, MM, first you need to find the biggest, heaviest, most uncomfortable dictionary that you can find and use it as a pillow for at least three months. This will allow most of the words it contains to osmose into your brain while you sleep. It's even better if you can take frequent naps during this time it'll work even better!

Then what you want to do is take your friendly dictionary pillow and start to tear the pages out one by one, fry them up in some butter, and eat them. You should only tear out what you need for any given meal, though, because the flavor degrades rapidly, and always use butter to preserve the educational value. Continue to use your dictionary as a pillow until you have eaten the entire thing, minus the covers. These can be composted and used in your garden.

Once you have followed these steps, you should be just as good at words as I am!

Dear SillyString, Please tell me why I shouldn't have a peanut butter and banana sandwich for lunch.
- Hungry Hungry Hippo


Oh, there are all kinds of reasons not to have a peanut butter and banana sandwich for lunch. If you're allergic to peanuts, for example, you probably shouldn't eat one[note]Though you could, of course, if you're only a little allergic.[/note], and if you don't have any milk to wash it down, you might not feel very refreshed afterwards. Alternatively, if you happen to have some delicious Fluff, you would be better off making a fluffernutter and banana sandwich as that is much tastier. And if you really want to get fancy, a fluffernutella sandwich is really to die for, with or without banana slices.

But if you don't have fluff, or nutella, and you've got plenty of milk, and you're not allergic to peanuts, well, I can't think of a single reason why not.

Dear Silly String, I like this girl. I think she likes me. Wat do?
-Confused


Aww, Confused, didn't you learn this one in middle school? Stick gum in her hair and push her when you pass each other in the hallway. This will show her how you feel! If she hits you back, you're officially going out!

Seriously Silly,
SillyString
 
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