DRAFT: Nuclear Transportation Safety Act

Egalotir

Egalotir

TNPer
This would be my very first attempt at a WA resolution. Please rip it apart so I know what to fix and do better. It stands at 551 words, 3,299 characters no spaces, 3,839 with.
WA proposal 116: http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=4025870#p4025870 , is similiar to this but I feel like it isnt dense enough in the safety of actual transportation, instead it just lists options for international trade of material waste.


I present to you the drafts of the:

Hazardous Materials Transportation Safety Act​
Category: International Security
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Egalotir​
Co-Authored by: Jurisdictions​

Draft 1:
Description:
REALIZING that World Assembly nations are allowed to hold nuclear arms by the World Assembly Resolution #10.


FURTHER noting that WA members are allowed to use nuclear fuel for energy and research purposes.

ACKNOWLEDGES that improper handling of nuclear materials can result in catastrophic disasters such as, but not limited to: injury/death, inhabitable radioactive zones, environmental decay, and hijacking of nuclear arms.

WHILE further acknowledging that World Assembly nations have laws on transportation of nuclear material, it is a concern for under developed nations who do not have the proper safety or knowledge in place to handle or transport nuclear materials.

EXERCISES that an international safety standard in nuclear material transportation must be put in place.

THUS an international committee for nuclear material transportation safety, dubbed Nuclear Materials Transportation Safety Committee, shall be created to overlook all nuclear material transportation, and implements safety control and management in developing nuclear nations. The committee will serve as a guide until it feels that the nation can undertake the responsibility of nuclear safety control on its own.

FURTHERMORE proper identification of a nuclear transportation vehicles, planes or ships shall must available in clear eyesight with radiation hazard warning sign, a black trefoil with yellow background. This sign shall be adopted as the international sign for radiation hazard for public safety.

MOREOVER all operators of nuclear transportation vehicles must undergo proper nuclear safety handling training outlined by the committee and thus will be licensed by the committee. If safety regulations change, drivers must attend re-training under the new regulations. Training shall be provided in each nation, sponsored by the NMTSC.

In order to bring safety technological standards to a new high, all nuclear transportation caskets must undergo extensive testing including extensive falls of over 30 feet (9 meters), puncture testing, withstand flames of 800 degrees Celsius (1475 degrees Fahrenheit) for over an hour’s time, and survive direct collision from a vehicle of a minimum of 100 tons. Caskets will undergo less extensive testing every 5 years.

IN-ADDITION, the committee, with assistance of each nuclear nation, shall put in place approved routes for nuclear transportation such that to avoid possible accidents occurring near large population centers, military locations, or environmental protection zones. When within a heavy population center an armed escort must be provided to deter attempted hijackings. All states and/or nations must be notified of transportation before the load embarks, as well as the committee keeping a log of all nuclear material shipments.

CONDITIONALLY, if nations cannot afford the technological upgrades, they will be provided by the international committee as a loan that will be paid back monetarily in a time period negotiated by the committee and the aforementioned nation.

REAFFIRMS that the costs of these safety regulations outweigh the risks of mishandled nuclear material and the fallout that could follow.


After extensive work with Jurisdictions, and taking all advice and critique into account, we have our second draft. The most noticeable change is that the Resolution is now known as the Hazardous Materials Transportation Safety Act. I was going to highlight in red all of the changes made, but we made so many it's basically a new act, you'll find the changes very easily.

Please, once again, all feedback is welcome. thank you!

Draft 2:
The General Assembly,

REALIZING, that World Assembly nations are holding hazardous materials for both military and civilian purposes.

DEFINES, hazardous material as material that poses substantial or potential threats to public health or the environment.

ACKNOWLEDGES, that improper handling of hazardous materials can result in catastrophic disasters such as, but not limited to: injury/death, inhabitable radioactive zones, environmental decay, and hijacking of nuclear arms.

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING, that while World Assembly nations have laws on transportation of hazardous material, it is a vital concern of the international community that under developed nations who do not have the proper safety, knowledge or security in place to handle or transport hazardous materials be provided with standards in hazardous materials safety.

CREATES, an international safety standard in hazardous material transportation and the international commission for hazardous material transportation safety, named Hazardous Materials Transportation Safety Commission, hereinafter initialed as HMTSC, shall be created to regulate all hazardous material transportation, and implement safety control and management programs in developing nations.

FURTHERMORE, proper identification of a hazardous material transportation must be available in clear eyesight with the proper insignia designated by the HMTSC. These signs shall have distinct markings and colors to depict each type of hazard, including radiation, chemical, electrical, laser, bio hazard, and general warnings. The signs shall be adopted as the international signs for hazardous materials for public safety.

MOREOVER, all operators of hazardous transportation must be trained in safe hazardous materials handling and self defense and firearms training as as outlined, provided, and sponsored by the HMTSC in each member nation. Operators will also undergo extensive medical and psychological background checks. Each World Assembly member nation shall license by local rules, those operators who have shown competency in safe hazardous material handling. As HMTSC regulations are updated, operators must attend training on such new regulations, to retain or renew their license.

NECESSARILY, to provide uniform standards for hazardous material safety technology all transportation caskets must undergo extensive testing including, but not limited to: extensive falls of over 30 feet (9 meters); puncture testing; extreme heat testing to withstand flames of 800 degrees Celsius (1475 degrees Fahrenheit) for over an hour’s time; and survive direct collision from a vehicle or other object of a minimum of 100 tons. After every five years of initial tests, Caskets will undergo less extensive testing to verify the safety of their continued use.

IN-ADDITION, the Commission with assistance of each member nation, shall put in place approved routes for hazardous material transportation such that to avoid possible accidents occurring near large population centers, military locations, or environmental protection zones. When within a heavy population center an armed escort must be provided to deter attempted hijackings. All affected member nations must be notified of transportation before the load embarks if it will cross their respective national borders, as well as the HMTSC keeping a log of all hazardous material shipments.

LASTLY, if nations cannot afford the technological upgrades, they will be provided by the HMTSC as a loan that will be paid back monetarily in a time period negotiated by the committee and the aforementioned nation.

REAFFIRMS, that the costs of these safety regulations outweigh the risks of mishandled hazardous material and the fallout that could follow.

HEREBY ENACTS, the Hazardous Materials Transportation Safety Act.

Authored by: Egalotir
Co-Authored by: Jurisdictions
 
Looks good for a first draft, I'll give you what advice I can here and then turn you over to the GA regulars and see what they can give you that I might have missed :)

REALIZING that World Assembly nations are allowed to hold nuclear arms by the World Assembly Resolution #10.
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I would be iffy about this, it's technically a house of cards. If for arguments sake GA #10 was ever to be repealed, this particular aspect of the proposal would be moot. Better not to have it and still have your safety agenda than to have it and it become moot down the line.

Secondly, you seem to switch in and out of tenses, you go from noting, and highlighting, to acknolwedges etc... might be better for continuity and flow to have one consistency throughout if you get me.

As a third knitpick, stylistically, you're a little all over the place, there's no real definer between what is a recommendation and what is a mandate, what is a suggestion and what is preamble. I would recommend popping by previous resolutions to see how the style etc... works out.

I also have some concerns regarding the "loan" aspect later on, but the GA might be able to direct you better in that regards.

The last big one that I can see, and maybe it's not a big one depending on what you had intended is this;

Thank you, President of the United States of Egalotir
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If you were just signing the forum here, thats fine, if you intend to make that an actual part of your draft, it'll be illegal for branding. Just bear that in mind on the day k? :)

There's probably more, but this isn't really my area of expertise when it comes to GA law, so wait and see if others weight in here, then bring it to the GA and see what they throw at you. Just bring a flack jacket when that time comes. You might need it ;)
 
Great starting point! That being said, this does need some work. First, a few basic guidelines. This is not exactly my personal style, but it's the most widely accepted within the General Assembly: always begin with "The General Assembly," and then move into your preamble (which, as I'm sure you know, comprises of non-binding clauses that establish why this proposal is necessary). The first word of all preambulatory clauses should be a participle (e.g. recognizing, acknowledging) because, believe it or not, a resolution is supposed to be one very long sentence. For example, the general assembly, acknowledging x, believing y, hereby prohibits z. Therefore, your preambulatory clauses must (or should, but it's strongly recommended) begin with verbs rather than terms like "while." Similarly, your operative clauses (i.e. the clauses that actually do things) should begin with verbs in the third person singular indicative form. For example, mandates, prohibits, urges, promotes, and so forth. There should also be a clear distinction between your preamble and your operative section. "Hereby" usually does the trick.

Now for the substance of the proposal. Before I continue, I have a suggestion. This topic is quite narrow - would you be opposed to changing the scope to transport of hazardous materials in general?

Also, Aba is right about preparing yourself for the GA forum. If you're worried that nuclear transportation failures create inhospitable wastelands, just see what alcohol, resentment, and international politics can do.
 
Thank you all so much for the feedback, I'm going to write up a second draft, and also answer all of your concerns tomorrow.

Thanks, again.
 
Hey everyone, I updated the OP to contain the second draft. Jurisdictions and I put a lot of work in the rewording of it as that seemed like our main concern for this draft. Again please give us feedback!.

Thank you,
Egalotir and Jurisdictions.
 
I'm not at all experienced with WA resolutions, but I wonder about the details of the funding for the HMTSC, and whether or not that has to be addressed in this resolution. No doubt the veterans can add a more meaningful comment on that.

Other than that, I really like the way it is shaping up and I like the attention to detail! Great work Egalotir!
 
REALIZING, that World Assembly nations are holding hazardous materials for both military and civilian purposes.

DEFINES, hazardous material as material that poses substantial or potential threats to public health or the environment.

ACKNOWLEDGES, that improper handling of hazardous materials can result in catastrophic disasters such as, but not limited to: injury/death, inhabitable radioactive zones, environmental decay, and hijacking of nuclear arms.

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING, that while World Assembly nations have laws on transportation of hazardous material, it is a vital concern of the international community that under developed nations who do not have the proper safety, knowledge or security in place to handle or transport hazardous materials be provided with standards in hazardous materials safety.
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Commas after the verb aren't grammatically correct, so in the next draft, I'd remove them. Furthermore, "including but not limited to" doesn't need a colon after it, although it's not strictly incorrect. Underdeveloped is also one word. I would focus the argument of your preamble to "member nations may have good reasons to transport hazardous materials, it's dangerous to transport hazardous materials, there are no international standards on transporting such materials, therefore the World Assembly must act." I feel as if that would clarify your argument a bit better. Furthermore, defines is an operative verb and shouldn't be in the preamble. And end preambulatory clauses with commas, not periods, because as I said before, a resolution is one very long sentence. Preambulatory clauses should end in commas and operative clauses should end in semi-colons, except for the last clause in the resolution, which should end in a period.

CREATES, an international safety standard in hazardous material transportation and the international commission for hazardous material transportation safety, named Hazardous Materials Transportation Safety Commission, hereinafter initialed as HMTSC, shall be created to regulate all hazardous material transportation, and implement safety control and management programs in developing nations.
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It might not be necessary to create an entirely new committee. The WA has a vast bureaucracy and chances are, there's usually a committee already available to assign extra duties to instead of making a new, very similar committee. For example, the International Transport Safety Committee already exists. You can either assign it the duties you've given to the HMTSC or create the HMTSC within the ITSC as a more specialized agency.

If you choose the former, which I recommend, try this phrasing:

"Charges the International Transport Safety Committee with the following responsibilities:

- Creating a list of materials deemed hazardous and establishing transport regulations for such materials including, but not limited to, personnel training requirements, packaging requirements, and transport vessel requirements,
- Developing and assigning internationally recognized labeling and identification for hazardous materials, which shall clearly indicate what type of hazard the material poses,
- Liaising with relevant parties, including, but not limited to, the governments of member nations, transport companies, manufactures and producers of hazardous materials, and relevant non-governmental organizations to determine whether regulations are reasonable before enacting them;"

FURTHERMORE, proper identification of a hazardous material transportation must be available in clear eyesight with the proper insignia designated by the HMTSC. These signs shall have distinct markings and colors to depict each type of hazard, including radiation, chemical, electrical, laser, bio hazard, and general warnings. The signs shall be adopted as the international signs for hazardous materials for public safety.

MOREOVER, all operators of hazardous transportation must be trained in safe hazardous materials handling and self defense and firearms training as as outlined, provided, and sponsored by the HMTSC in each member nation. Operators will also undergo extensive medical and psychological background checks. Each World Assembly member nation shall license by local rules, those operators who have shown competency in safe hazardous material handling. As HMTSC regulations are updated, operators must attend training on such new regulations, to retain or renew their license.
Click to expand...

NECESSARILY, to provide uniform standards for hazardous material safety technology all transportation caskets must undergo extensive testing including, but not limited to: extensive falls of over 30 feet (9 meters); puncture testing; extreme heat testing to withstand flames of 800 degrees Celsius (1475 degrees Fahrenheit) for over an hour’s time; and survive direct collision from a vehicle or other object of a minimum of 100 tons. After every five years of initial tests, Caskets will undergo less extensive testing to verify the safety of their continued use.[/quote]

If you choose to use the clause I wrote for you, these three clauses are unnecessary.

IN-ADDITION, the Commission with assistance of each member nation, shall put in place approved routes for hazardous material transportation such that to avoid possible accidents occurring near large population centers, military locations, or environmental protection zones. When within a heavy population center an armed escort must be provided to deter attempted hijackings. All affected member nations must be notified of transportation before the load embarks if it will cross their respective national borders, as well as the HMTSC keeping a log of all hazardous material shipments.
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Some of the regulations in this clause are not necessary. For example, a truck carrying a shipment of sulfuric acid to a high school does not need an armed escort. Furthermore, domestic transport requirements might be outside the scope of this resolution. Having member nations create routes for transport within their own country might not be necessary or appropriate. I'd recommend a more non-binding "urges" or "recommends" clause, but that's your call. I do like the last sentence, however. Perhaps this would suffice:

"Requires that all affected nations be notified of the transportation of any hazardous material through their respective territories before the load embarks;"

LASTLY, if nations cannot afford the technological upgrades, they will be provided by the HMTSC as a loan that will be paid back monetarily in a time period negotiated by the committee and the aforementioned nation.
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I would extend a loan program like this to commercial entities as well, because they're typically the ones that are responsible for transporting cargo, not member nations. Also, remember to start with verbs. Lastly isn't a verb, so I would recommend against using it to start a clause.

REAFFIRMS, that the costs of these safety regulations outweigh the risks of mishandled hazardous material and the fallout that could follow.
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This clause isn't really necessary, although if you do really want to keep it, it belongs in the preamble.

HEREBY ENACTS, the Hazardous Materials Transportation Safety Act.
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You don't need to worry about having clauses like this. Enactment of resolutions is axiomatic upon passage, you don't need to say it explicitly.

Also, I would include a clause that requires member nations to adopt and actively enforce the regulations created by the ITSC, as well. The ITSC can't enforce its rules by its self, so a helping clause like that would be useful. And perhaps a clause prohibiting the transport of hazardous cargo on passenger vessels (unless the material is necessary in fueling the vessel).

I'm not at all experienced with WA resolutions, but I wonder about the details of the funding for the HMTSC, and whether or not that has to be addressed in this resolution. No doubt the veterans can add a more meaningful comment on that.
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This is an entirely reasonable concern to have, but luckily, funding in the World Assembly is assumed. GAR#17 funds all World Assembly expenditures so any committee costs are automatically chalked up to the General Accounting Office, which gets its funding from member nations. I hope that clarifies any concerns. :D
 
Scion I want to thank you so much for taking the time to cover the resolution in such detail! I will take all your advice to heart and fix it all for the 3rd draft, at which point I think would be sufficiently ready for the GA forums.

Thanks again
 
Thanks a lot Sciongrad! I'm learning a lot from your posts. :)
And good luck with your resolution in the GA forums Egalotir!
 
Posting it to the GA forums after many changes. Sciograd thank you so so much for taking the time to give such in depth advice it was a lot of help.
 
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