Hello, and welcome to the first full-length edition of SillyString's Silly Advice. This will be a fairly straightforward advice column, where readers write in with questions, problems, or dilemmas, and I provide completely serious, definitely not at all silly advice. The question to kick all of this off comes from a long-time fan of the show who has only now worked up the nerve to bare their soul.
How do I become involved in the TNP Cabinet?
-Anonymous FriarTuck
That's a great question, AFT! The TNP political system is a morass of corruption, bribery, nepotism, and plain old confusion, so if you want to get seriously involved it's important to understand the dynamics at play.
There are two powerful cliques within TNP, which are sometimes (but not always) at war with one another - the Oligarchy (sometimes affectionately called the Elugarchy) and the IRCabal.
The Oligarchy consists of those members who consistently serve in some area of the government term after term, and it frequently controls the Delegate's Cabinet Ministers. If you want to know if somebody is a member of the Oligarchy, just ask! Evasive or confused answers always mean "yes".
The IRCabal, meanwhile, consists of several (but not all) TNPers who dare to venture into that mysterious land known as IRC, and it exercises control over all voting results. Members of the IRCabal are very secretive, but some intrepid investigation by a few brave non-Cabalists who have infiltrated their ranks has revealed a growing number of names. If somebody has been publicly accused of being in the IRCabal, they probably are.
As you can see, these two cliques can be nigh unstoppable when their priorities lie in the same direction, a situation which is more common the more crossover and intermarriage there is between their memberships. At times, however, they are bitterly opposed, and will attempt to tear down the system itself just to come out on top.
To bring this back around to your question, the only people who get ahead in TNP are those who join one of these cliques and exhibit unquestioning loyalty to its goals. Both of them freely reward hard work and dedication with increasing levels of power and decreasing levels of responsibility; you just need to pick which one you think is right for you. Switching membership later on is highly frowned upon, so it's important to make the best decision that you can early on!
Seriously silly,
SillyString
Edits away!
