[Passed, locked] Commend McM

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Mousebumples

Mousebumples

TNPer
THE WORLD ASSEMBLY:

Acknowledges that commendations should be awarded only to those nations and regions that have made an effort to go "above and beyond" through efforts that have made a positive impact on the international community as a whole;

Believes that McMasterdonia's actions have merited such a commendation, due to McMasterdonia's active involvement in multiple regions around the world and contributions transcend the multiverse. These include:
  • Coordinating the liberation of The South Pacific, after the coup of that region by Milograd, and then serving as a General in the New Southern Army following the coup. McMasterdonia assisted in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath.
  • Assisting in the efforts to refound Australia through informing the natives about the process of a such an effort and coordinating with TITO command when the refounding process occurred.
  • Serving as the Minister of Information in Balder, where McMasterdonia worked to create legislation to begin the Royal Council.
  • Acting as Vizier of Foreign Affairs for Osiris, which [ACCOMPLISHED XYZ - need more meat on this clause ... help anyone?];
Recognizes that McMasterdonia worked to recreate the North Pacific Army in The North Pacific when serving as the region's Vice Delegate. Membership in the North Pacific Army multiplied, as a result, which allowed the organization to better protect The North Pacific;

Respects the longevity of McMasterdonia as WA Delegate for The North Pacific. McMasterdonia served as WA Delegate for 12 months, cumulatively over the course of the past two years, and recently completed an 8 month term as WA Delegate for this region. Both of these are the longest terms - consecutive and cumulative - recorded for The North Pacific;

Notes that McMasterdonia accumulated 530 endorsements within The North Pacific, and boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate within NationStates for much of his recent term as Delegate;

Admires the leadership style of McMasterdonia, which resulted in improved stability and unity within the region as a whole and served to provide opportunities for development and advancement of newcomers within The North Pacific;

Appreciates the impressively positive impact that McMasterdonia has had across multiple regions within NationStates;

Hereby commends McMasterdonia.
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Comments and additional content are more than welcome, of course. I figure you guys might have plenty more detail to add in here, with regards to the TNP stuff, so feel free to shout out anything you think should be added. :)
 
New Draft!

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY:

Acknowledges that commendations should be awarded only to those nations and regions that have made an effort to go "above and beyond" the standard actions and achievements of the average nation or region, through demonstrative efforts that have made a positive impact on the international community as a whole;

Believes that [nation=short]McMasterdonia[/nation]'s actions have merited such a commendation, due to McMasterdonia's active involvement in multiple regions around the world and contributions transcending the multiverse. These include:
  • Assisting with the liberation of The South Pacific, after [nation=short]Milograd[/nation]'s coup. McMasterdonia served as a General in the New Southern Army, which assisted in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath.
  • Assisting in the efforts to refound Australia through informing the natives about the process of a such an effort and coordinating with TITO command when the refounding process occurred.
  • Serving as the Minister of Information in Balder, where McMasterdonia worked to create legislation to begin the Royal Council, produced multiple issues of the regional newspaper, and contributed positively to the entertainment and cultural development of the region.
  • Additionally acting as Vizier of Foreign Affairs for Osiris & the first Minister of Foreign Affairs for Albion;
Recognizes McMasterdonia authored SCR#129, Commend Eluvatar, and also regularly contributes to the efforts of others to draft legislation for this Assembly.

Lauds the efforts of McMasterdonia through the efforts involved with serving as a forum administrator for both Balder and The North Pacific, through which many have benefited from the actions and innovations of McMasterdonia while serving in this role.

Recognizes that McMasterdonia worked to recreate the North Pacific Army (NPA) in The North Pacific when serving as the region's Minister of Defense and served as one of the primary contributors to what became the NPA Doctrine. McMasterdonia continued efforts to guide and improve the NPA while serving as Vice Delegate for The North Pacific. Membership in the NPS multiplied, as a result, which allowed the organization to better protect The North Pacific.

Acknowledges the work of McMasterdonia as a member of the Security Council for the North Pacific, as the Security Council is tasked with ensuring the security of the region.

Respects the longevity of McMasterdonia as WA Delegate for The North Pacific. McMasterdonia served as WA Delegate for a The North Pacific record of 12 months, cumulatively and 8 months consecutively. Both of these are the longest terms - consecutive and cumulative - recorded for The North Pacific. During this most recent term, McMasterdonia boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate within NationStates for much of this recent term as Delegate;

Admires the leadership style of McMasterdonia, which resulted in improved stability and unity within the region as a whole and served to provide opportunities for development and advancement of newcomers within The North Pacific;

Recognizes that McMasterdonia served as the Minister of Foreign Affairs for The North Pacific, during which time the region signed treaties with both Balder and Europeia. These diplomatic efforts fostered strong and lasting ties between these regions and reinforced the strength of The North Pacific within the NationStates multiverse.

Hereby commends McMasterdonia.

Co-Author: r3n ... with whatever nation he tells me to credit
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I've got verbiage repetition at this point - which is a pet peeve of mine - but I'll fix that once I have a more final draft ready to go. General comments are, of course, welcome, but a few particular things I'd like feedback/more info on:

1) What, if anything, has McM done that has been "notable" through his work as an admin for both Balder and TNP? Right now, that clause is modeled after what's in the Commend for Hobbes, but I wouldn't mind expanding it out more.
2) What specific actions, if anything, has McM done during his time on the TNP Security Council that should be specified in the text?
3) What specific actions or impacts, if any, has McM done with regards to recognizing his leadership style within TNP?
4) Anything else I'm missing ... or anything else that can/should be expanded upon?
5) Anything that doesn't seem to be worth including and should be cut out entirely?

Thanks!
 
Another new draft! Substantially different from the previous one, in terms of both format and content.

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY:

Acknowledges that commendations should be awarded only to those nations and regions that have made an effort to go "above and beyond" the actions and achievements of the average nation or region, through demonstrative and diverse efforts that have made a positive impact on the international community as a whole;

Believes that McMasterdonia's actions have merited such a commendation, due to McMasterdonia's active involvement under different capacities in multiple regions around the world and contributions transcending the multiverse.

Recognizes McMasterdonia as a gifted diplomat. This characteristic is exemplified through the actions of McMasterdonia during terms as Delegate and Minister of Foreign Affairs of The North Pacific. McMasterdonia reinforced existing alliances with Osiris and The South Pacific, and established new partnerships with Albion, Balder, Europeia, and The East Pacific. These diplomatic efforts fostered strong and lasting ties between these regions, promoted peaceful collaboration with international leaders, and strengthened the position of The North Pacific within the NationStates multiverse.

Recognizes McMasterdonia as a skilled military commander and administrator, as he was among the primary coordinators of the liberation of The South Pacific, after [nation=short]Milograd[/nation]'s coup. McMasterdonia later served as a General in the New Southern Army and assisted in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath. McMasterdonia also worked to revive the North Pacific Army (NPA) in The North Pacific when serving as the region's Minister of Defense. McMasterdonia was one of the primary contributors to the NPA Doctrine, which is the NPA's current operating document that emphasizes minimization of collateral damage during warfare while permitting the NPA to operate both offensively and defensively in accordance with regional interests. Membership and expertise in the NPA grew significantly as a result of McMasterdonia's continued efforts, which allowed the organization to better protect The North Pacific.

Recognizes McMasterdonia’s contributions to the security and stability of multiple regions. McMasterdonia was involved with the efforts to refound Australia and assisted with the process through keeping the natives informed and coordinating with TITO command when the region was refounded. McMasterdonia was instrumental in strengthening the Security Council of The North Pacific, both as Vice Delegate and as a contributing member. Through this work, the community of The North Pacific has seen reinforced security and stability. Additionally, McMasterdonia continues to serve as an administrator for the forums of both Balder and The North Pacific, where innovations were implemented to benefit all forum participants.

Recognizes that McMasterdonia authored SCR#129, Commend Eluvatar, and SCR#147, Commend Astarial, and also regularly contributes to the efforts of others to draft legislation for this Assembly.

Respects the longevity of McMasterdonia as WA Delegate for The North Pacific. McMasterdonia owns the longest consecutive and cumulative Delegate terms in the history of The North Pacific. During this most recent term, McMasterdonia boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate within NationStates.

Admires the leadership style of McMasterdonia, which resulted in improved stability and unity within The North Pacific as a whole, and served to provide opportunities for development and advancement of newcomers both in The North Pacific and internationally. Those who received mentorship and support from McMasterdonia have passed numerous World Assembly resolutions or served in other leadership positions, such as WA Delegate, within various notable regions.

Hereby commends McMasterdonia.

Co-Author: Renaissancistic People
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Any comments and suggestions you may have are welcome :) .
 
Another edit:

THE WORLD ASSEMBLY:

RECOGNIZES McMasterdonia as a gifted diplomat, as seen during terms served as Delegate and Minister of Foreign Affairs of The North Pacific where existing alliances with Osiris and The South Pacific were reinforced. New partnerships were also established with Albion, Balder, Europeia, and The East Pacific. These diplomatic efforts fostered strong and lasting ties between the involved regions, promoted peaceful collaboration among international leaders, and strengthened the position of The North Pacific within the NationStates multiverse.

APPRECIATES McMasterdonia's skills as a military commander, as he was among the primary coordinators of the liberation of The South Pacific, after [nation=short]Milograd[/nation]'s coup. McMasterdonia later served as a General in the New Southern Army and assisted in revitalizing the army of the The South Pacific in the coup's aftermath.

HIGHLIGHTS McMasterdonia's efforts to revive the North Pacific Army (NPA) in The North Pacific while serving as the region's Minister of Defense. McMasterdonia was one of the primary contributors to the NPA Doctrine, which is the NPA's current operating document that emphasizes minimization of collateral damage during warfare while permitting the NPA to operate both offensively and defensively in accordance with regional interests. Membership and expertise in the NPA grew significantly as a result of McMasterdonia's continued efforts, which allowed the organization to better protect The North Pacific.

LAUDS the contributions made by McMasterdonia to the security and stability of regions, such as with Australia. McMasterdonia was involved with the efforts to refound this region and assisted in keeping the natives informed and coordinating with the Ten Thousand Island Treaty Organisation command when the region was refounded.

DETAILS, additionally, the instrumental nature of McMasterdonia's contributions to strengthen the Security Council of The North Pacific, both as Vice Delegate and as a contributing member. Through this work, the community of The North Pacific has seen reinforced security and stability.

OBSERVES McMasterdonia’s continued service as an administrator for the forums of both Balder and The North Pacific, where innovations were implemented to benefit all forum participants.

NOTES that McMasterdonia authored SCR#129, Commend Eluvatar, and SCR#147, Commend Astarial, and also regularly contributes to the efforts of others to draft legislation for this Assembly.

RESPECTS the longevity of McMasterdonia as WA Delegate for The North Pacific. McMasterdonia owns the longest consecutive and cumulative Delegate terms in the history of The North Pacific. During this most recent term, McMasterdonia boasted the most endorsements of any WA Delegate within NationStates.

ADMIRES the leadership style of McMasterdonia, which resulted in improved stability and unity within The North Pacific as a whole, and served to provide opportunities for development and advancement of newcomers both in The North Pacific and internationally. Those who have received mentorship and support from McMasterdonia have contributed to the multiverse in a number of ways, which include passing numerous World Assembly resolutions or serving in esteemed leadership positions, such as WA Delegate, within various notable regions.

COMMENDS McMasterdonia.

Co-Author: Renaissancistic People
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Unless something major comes up, we'll be submitting this early next week. So, last chance to comment!
 
For those that missed it (there was no SC voting thread): This went to vote last week, and I actually got the chance to vote on this one as well despite my LoA. Obviously I voted in support. The resolution passed by a wide margin.

Congratulations mcm!
 
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