The Schnauzer Bill

[Crushing Our Enemies]

It has recently come to my attention that a loophole in the Bill of Rights has led to a misunderstanding in how the Bill of Rights is to be interpreted. In my ignorance of the history of the Bill of Rights and its author, I concluded that the final judicial authority over the Bill of Rights resides in the Court of TNP. Imagine my shock when I discovered that it is actually Grosseschnauzer who is the arbiter of the true meaning of the Bill of Rights. See this exchange for the context of my discovery.

Clearly, this calls for urgent legislative action to close this loophole and ensure that no further misunderstandings result in erroneous court rulings that claim to interpret the Bill of Rights. The Court did not write the Bill of Rights, so they have no authority to interpret it, despite discrepant clauses in the Constitution and Legal Code that might lead one to believe that they do. I propose an amendment to the Bill of Rights to resolve this misunderstanding once and for all:

1. A clause shall be added to the Bill of Rights that reads as follows:

12. No governmental authority of the region has the power to interpret the Bill of Rights. The exclusive judicial authority to interpret the Bill of Rights resides in Grosseschnauzer, the ROOT of all rights.

 

[mcmasterdonia]

 

[Flemingovia]

This is a dreadful law, undermining the fundamental principles of the Bill of Rights, which CoE does not understand because he wasn't there, man, he doesn't KNOW.

The main problem is that CoE refers to the Courts. I would like to ask CoE two questions about the court: Were you there when the courts were established? Did you write the legislation?

 

[Flemingovia]

This is a wonderful law, in the finest traditions of TNP legislation. CoE clearly has a forensic grasp of the principles and traditions of TNP. It deserves our full support.

I am a little concerned that it may not go far enough. Our Bill of Rights was adopted in November 2007. It is clear that anyone who joined the forum after that time cannot have a clue as to what is going on, and should not be allowed to take part in any constitutional debate. Perhaps the Bill should be widened to include this? I mean, they were not there when the Bill of Rights was written, and may not even know who wrote it, for [reference to deity deleted]'s sake.

 

[Blue Wolf II]

I enjoyed that point/counter-point, Flem.

 

[Lord Nwahs]

I am absolutely in support of this

 

[Deleted User (Guest)]

The simplest solution would be to make Grosseschnauzer an illegal entity and create a committee to ensure that Grosseschnauzer is monitored and closely investigated.

 

[Crushing Our Enemies]

These comments read like NationStates issue options.

 

[Romanoffia]

I object to the entire Schnauzer Bill. Everyone knows schnauzers have snouts, not bills.


Now, this would have never arisen as a problem has Grosse permitted me to add a clause concerning Enumerated Rights, Reserved Rights and Delegated Authority to the Bill of Rights.

I have just received a communication from the Great Cheese God who has ordained an aromatic message from Cheese Cellar in The Heavens that should be added as an amendment to The Bill of Rights:

"Thou shalt not harm another. That is, unless they attack you with a pointy stick or other implement of destruction or metaphorically so, in which case you may rent the offender's abdomen, remove the offender's small intestines, use them to strangle the offender, and then examine the intestines for portents of the future. Afterwards, you are to feast upon deep fried canine feet and noses (covered in a wonderful sauce consisting of melted Stilton or other such suitably aromatic cheese)."

 

[Flemingovia]

I object to the entire Schnauzer Bill. Everyone knows schnauzers have snouts, not bills.


Now, this would have never arisen as a problem has Grosse permitted me to add a clause concerning Enumerated Rights, Reserved Rights and Delegated Authority to the Bill of Rights.

I have just received a communication from the Great Cheese God who has ordained an aromatic message from Cheese Cellar in The Heavens that should be added as an amendment to The Bill of Rights:

"Thou shalt not harm another. That is, unless they attack you with a pointy stick or other implement of destruction or metaphorically so, in which case you may rent the offender's abdomen, remove the offender's small intestines, use them to strangle the offender, and then examine the intestines for portents of the future. Afterwards, you are to feast upon deep fried canine feet and noses (covered in a wonderful sauce consisting of melted Stilton or other such suitably aromatic cheese)."

I am deeply offended by this reference to an imaginary friend here in the regional assembly.

Some of us would rather not get involved with having doctrinal warfare as a tool of statecraft. Do The Tudors ring a bell?

I was so outraged my left testicle immediately exploded.

 

[Blue Wolf II]

Sounds messy and painful.

 

[Romanoffia]

Not only messy, but frightening. Exploding testicles could pose a danger to commercial airlines. I can just see some terrorist jumping up into the aisle of a crowded airliner and yelling, "everybody remain and stay calm! If my demands are not met, I will explode my testicles and take down this plane!"

 

[Blue Wolf II]

I can imagine someone shouting back "You don't have the balls!"

 

[Flemingovia]

As exploding testicles happen below the waist line, I see no threat to passing aeroplanes. Most of the blast is directed downwards.

 

[Crushing Our Enemies]

Let's please keep this thread on topic: fixing the massive loophole in our legal system that allows non-grosse entities to interpret the Bill of Rights.

 

[Flemingovia]

Sorry.

As the author of the bill, have you considered my suggestion preventing anyone who joined the forum after 2007 from interpreting the Bill of Rights or the constitution? Since they were not there they cannot understand, QEG*



*Quod Erat Grosse.

 

[Crushing Our Enemies]

I think that establishing Grosse's exclusive judicial authority over the interpretation of the Bill of Rights kinda covers that.

 

[Romanoffia]

I think this bill should be entirely re-designed.

It should be phrased thusly:

"All interpretations of Civil Liberties as per The Bill of Rights shall be settled by a coin-toss. Grosse gets to flip the coin. Those who disagree with this will be subject to testicular fulmination."

 

[Flemingovia]

I think this bill should be entirely re-designed.

It should be phrased thusly:

"All interpretations of Civil Liberties as per The Bill of Rights shall be settled by a coin-toss. Grosse gets to flip the coin. Those who disagree with this will be subject to testicular fulmination."

that's just silly.

The original suggestion is much more sensible, and in keeping with TNP tradition.