Flemingovia for Attorney General

Flemingovia

Flemingovia

TNPer
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Here is what I will stand on.

1. I will implement the law exactly as it is written. Where the law is silent, I will do nothing.

2. Since the law does not mention breathing (either inhaling or exhaling) I will not breathe from the moment I am elected.

3. After about four minutes I will fall to the ground, gasping for breath. I will decide to CHOOSE LIFE! Give it to the man!

4. After that epiphany, I will not bring any prosecutions as Attorney General. That is right. none. Nada. Nothing. Face it, most people want to just have the fancy titles anyway.

5. Towards the end of my office, I will disappear - poof!!! - in a cloud of smoke, safe in the knowledge I cannot be recalled.

6. Should a recall happen earlier than that, I will scream that the RA, by reading this thread has given me a democratic mandate. What fun we shall have!

7. Why will I do nothing? Let's face it. Our courts are a total joke, and have made our region a laughing stock for years. TNP existed for many years without a court system at all, so I think the best service I can offer the region is to bring the whole house of cards crashing down.

8. Did I mention what fun we shall have?

9. So, er. Vote for me for AG. There really is, when you think about it, no sensible alternative.

10. Oh yes. I also believe that the Attorney general's seal is not nearly large enough or phallic enough. If elected, I shall immediately commission a new one that just screams "I've got a great big Tonker." I want a seal that will make all the ladies in the room immediately fan themselves and go "whew." If I achieve this, I will have achieved more than the past two Attorney Generals, pretty much.

11. That's about it.
 
You have my vote, at least you are honest.

I do have questions:

At what point do we blame the electorate for voting for such incompetent people time after time? Do you think the people who vote are too cabalistic (not the jewish version) in this region?
 
Democratic Donkeys:
You have my vote, at least you are honest.

I do have questions:

At what point do we blame the electorate for voting for such incompetent people time after time? Do you think the people who vote are too cabalistic (not the jewish version) in this region?
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2009. At least, that is when I started blaming the electorate. I have seen nothing in the years since to change my opinion.

I disagree with you on the Cabalistic issue. I think we need more cabals. Assuming you meant Camels with a head cold. there is definitely not enough of those in the region.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLYcQagd6qE[/video]
 
I don't think the Voting Booth can see you. Perhaps it is because of your godliness?
 
SillyString:
What do you think are the greatest strengths and weaknesses of the other two candidates for AG?
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Their strengths?
I am afraid I find that difficult to answer. You see, every time I read through their campaign platform my eyes glaze over and I fall asleep.

It is not their fault, bless their little cotton socks. Their dullness is to be pitied rather than criticised. Perhaps they were born dull, and gravitated to constaytooshunalism because it is the last refuge of the boring. Or perhaps their slavish obedience to the constaytooshun has turned personalities which in other circumstances might have been vibrant and colourful into grey and formless mush.

I suppose their strengths are that each of my opponents are ideally suited to slavish obedience to the rules and a term of mind-numbing dullness.

If that is what TNP wants.....


Their weaknesses?
Mainly, their weakness is that they are not me. I mean, I do not want to brag, but the difference between my opponents and me is a bit like the difference between Tesco value brand cola and real Coca Cola. From a distance they may look similar, and my opponents may be cheaper, but once the election is over and you get them home, you will wish you had brought the real thing.

I am awesome. taste the real thing.
 
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