As a simple Regional Assembly member, I am concerned at hearing on IRC that we may have five or six members of the UDL high command who are members of this region. Not only have they not been burned yet, they are not even singed.
In a spirit of investigation, I feel we ought to be told a couple of simple bits of information that will help us determine which of these we need to burn first. Of course, in time we will get round to all of them.
I have no authority to offer immunity from prosecution, or shit like that. So I appeal to you, whoever you are, in the spirit of openness and seriousness for which TNP is famed, please post your weight in this thread (in pounds, please – none of that metric nonsense here) so that we can compare it with a duck. If you weigh the same as a duck, you are obviously a UDL spy, and we will burn you. Nothing personal.
To make the test as rigorous as possible, I will compare you with a particularly large breed of duck, the Aylesbury Duck (that is also cockney rhyming slang, but we will pass on that one.)
The Aylesbury duck can weigh up to 12 pounds. If you weigh the same, we will move on to the second stage of our investigation, and determine whether you can lay up to 125 eggs in a month.
For the record, here is a picture of an Aylesbury Duck. If any UDL members look like this, please report them immediately. They are probably a spy.
In a spirit of investigation, I feel we ought to be told a couple of simple bits of information that will help us determine which of these we need to burn first. Of course, in time we will get round to all of them.
I have no authority to offer immunity from prosecution, or shit like that. So I appeal to you, whoever you are, in the spirit of openness and seriousness for which TNP is famed, please post your weight in this thread (in pounds, please – none of that metric nonsense here) so that we can compare it with a duck. If you weigh the same as a duck, you are obviously a UDL spy, and we will burn you. Nothing personal.
To make the test as rigorous as possible, I will compare you with a particularly large breed of duck, the Aylesbury Duck (that is also cockney rhyming slang, but we will pass on that one.)
The Aylesbury duck can weigh up to 12 pounds. If you weigh the same, we will move on to the second stage of our investigation, and determine whether you can lay up to 125 eggs in a month.
For the record, here is a picture of an Aylesbury Duck. If any UDL members look like this, please report them immediately. They are probably a spy.
