Krulltopia
TNPer
TNP Pirates Vs Gatesville Ninjas
The infamous Flemingovia of TNP - irate over Gatesville's declaration of war. Again.
The North Pacific
September 19th 2008
It has now been two weeks into the TNP/Gatesville war. With The North Pacific under threat of an approaching Armada from Gatesville, the rum supplies are reaching dangerously low levels, which is having a drastic effect on the TNP populace. By judicious usage of The Pacific Post's Pirate-to-Landlubber translator, the citizens of TNP have been interviewed: "My major query is the location of the coconut derived alcoholic beverages. I am further vexed by the vitamin C deficient, non-nautical persons from Gatesville. This is a completely unacceptable turn of events. They should be tied to a rope that is looped beneath a vessel, thrown overboard on one side of the ship, and dragged under the ship's keel to the other side."
This war began due to the apparent intervention of certain TNP citizens in the ongoing TEP/Empire conflict, with the Privateer Kharkistania and Flemingovia engaging in cover and overt opposition to the Empire that has been set-up there:
In the past week, Gatesville has been in uproar over highly publicised attacks on Gatesville governed regions by Buccaneers flying the colours of The North Pacific Navy. This led to an infuriated response by Gates:
"How dare you attack my innocent populace directly and ignore all conventions of war. This is the last straw. There will never be a peace and I will not rest until this region is burnt to the ground."
This is an unusual move from TNP, which has been referred to as the 'punch bag of NS' by it's own populace, and has not been active in this area for years. Rumours that the navy had to resort to launching coconuts, mangos and Monkeys at the enemy remain unsubstantiated.
Darkesia readies the Gatesville Ninja's for battle.
The Pacific Post can exclusively reveal that Gatesville is preparing it's own insidious counter attack, in the form of the Deadly Darkesian technique known as "Death by Chocolate". The inventor of this technique, Darkesia, explains what this entails. "Highly trained Gatesville Ninjas will be dropped into TNP territory, where they will dispatch key TNP members with specially created chocolate shurikens. The result is delicious, but deadly".
As this ongoing war unfolds, we at the Pacific Post can only hope that the Chocolate and Rum related deaths are few.
----
Written by Krulltopia
Writer of The Pacific Post - Hopping on Bandwagons since 2003!
Copyright 2008, The Pacific Post. All rights reserved
Note that all of this is fabricated and not based on (much) fact
The infamous Flemingovia of TNP - irate over Gatesville's declaration of war. Again.
The North Pacific
September 19th 2008
It has now been two weeks into the TNP/Gatesville war. With The North Pacific under threat of an approaching Armada from Gatesville, the rum supplies are reaching dangerously low levels, which is having a drastic effect on the TNP populace. By judicious usage of The Pacific Post's Pirate-to-Landlubber translator, the citizens of TNP have been interviewed: "My major query is the location of the coconut derived alcoholic beverages. I am further vexed by the vitamin C deficient, non-nautical persons from Gatesville. This is a completely unacceptable turn of events. They should be tied to a rope that is looped beneath a vessel, thrown overboard on one side of the ship, and dragged under the ship's keel to the other side."
This war began due to the apparent intervention of certain TNP citizens in the ongoing TEP/Empire conflict, with the Privateer Kharkistania and Flemingovia engaging in cover and overt opposition to the Empire that has been set-up there:
Gates:
In the past week, Gatesville has been in uproar over highly publicised attacks on Gatesville governed regions by Buccaneers flying the colours of The North Pacific Navy. This led to an infuriated response by Gates:
"How dare you attack my innocent populace directly and ignore all conventions of war. This is the last straw. There will never be a peace and I will not rest until this region is burnt to the ground."
This is an unusual move from TNP, which has been referred to as the 'punch bag of NS' by it's own populace, and has not been active in this area for years. Rumours that the navy had to resort to launching coconuts, mangos and Monkeys at the enemy remain unsubstantiated.
Darkesia readies the Gatesville Ninja's for battle.
The Pacific Post can exclusively reveal that Gatesville is preparing it's own insidious counter attack, in the form of the Deadly Darkesian technique known as "Death by Chocolate". The inventor of this technique, Darkesia, explains what this entails. "Highly trained Gatesville Ninjas will be dropped into TNP territory, where they will dispatch key TNP members with specially created chocolate shurikens. The result is delicious, but deadly".
As this ongoing war unfolds, we at the Pacific Post can only hope that the Chocolate and Rum related deaths are few.
----
Written by Krulltopia
Writer of The Pacific Post - Hopping on Bandwagons since 2003!
Copyright 2008, The Pacific Post. All rights reserved
Note that all of this is fabricated and not based on (much) fact
