New Kervoskia
TNPer
N. Kervostein's guests tonight are...
Senator Karpathos
Emperor Moo-cows with guns
Ping Yang Pong
& Santa Claus
Paid for & Produced by The Pacifican Post. Note that all of this is fabricated and not based on (much) fact
Copyright 2007, The Pacific Post. All Rights Reserved
Senator Karpathos
Emperor Moo-cows with guns
Ping Yang Pong
& Santa Claus
[19:18] <NewKervoskia> Good evening folks and welcome to the second edition of Nightline NationStates, your most trusted source for scandal, rumors, and spin. Owned and operated by The Pacific Post- remember, if we didn't write, it's an outright lie! Tonight's guest is returned Senator and Gangsta-At-Large Karpathos.
[19:18] <NewKervoskia> Welcome, Senator.
[19:19] <Karpathos> Thanks for having me Comrade Senator NK
[19:19] <NewKervoskia> You took a brief sabbatical a few months back. What did you do during that time?
[19:22] <Karpathos> Well, as some here know, my last few months of activity were minimal, at the least, due to pressing RL issues. So while I was taking my little break I was forced to do RL...stuff
[19:22] <Karpathos> That's all the men in the black suburbans will allow me to say
[19:22] * Dalimbar gasps
[19:22] <NewKervoskia> How did you survive?!
[19:23] * Fae gasps
[19:23] * Khab gasps too!
[19:23] * Moo-Cows gasps
[19:23] * Moo-Cows coughs
[19:23] * TseMoana gasps
[19:23] * TseMoana swallows a fly
[19:23] <Karpathos> Well, it wasn't easy, there was a lot of drinking involved
[19:23] <Moo-Cows> I knew it!
[19:23] <NewKervoskia> Was it - oh horror- Budlight?
[19:23] <Karpathos> Worse
[19:23] <Karpathos> Keystone Light
[19:24] * Fae faints
[19:24] <NewKervoskia> Jesus Christ!
[19:24] <Karpathos> I was forced to play beerpong and flip-cup in order to cope with NS withdrawl
[19:24] * Khab faints on top of Fae!
[19:24] <NewKervoskia> Not even JAL deserves to have that.
[19:24] <Moo-Cows> yes, he does
[19:24] <NewKervoskia> He deserves a Keystone callonic.
[19:24] <Karpathos> At one point I was having paranoid hallucinations that Pope Hope was trying to mess up my pong-shots
[19:25] <Karpathos> It was horrible
[19:25] <Moo-Cows> HORRORS!
[19:25] <NewKervoskia> Praise ADMIN it's over.
[19:26] <Karpathos> I've sacrificed a few bulls in his name
[19:26] <NewKervoskia> Before we continue, a word from our sponsor.
[19:26] <NewKervoskia> Lonely?
[19:26] * Karpathos nods
[19:28] <NewKervoskia> Afraid? Tearful at night? Then drink Madam Moo's Turkey Vodka. Yes, folks, the tenderness of turkey and the side effects of vodka.You'll feel tired and blind.
[19:29] <Karpathos> I used to be lonely
[19:29] <Karpathos> Really lonely
[19:29] <Karpathos> My right hand didn't even want me
[19:29] <Karpathos> Then one day, I saw Madam Moo's Turkey Vodka, and BAM!
[19:29] <Karpathos> I was so smashed I couldn't even remember why I was lonely
[19:30] <Karpathos> I swear it improved my drinking skills too!
[19:30] <NewKervoskia> And you too can feel the elation of Senator Karp if you use Madam Moo's Turkey Vodka.
[19:31] <NewKervoskia> Karp we have some people who wanted to see you.
[19:31] <Karpathos> Oh?
[19:33] <NewKervoskia> While we have a special guest.
[19:33] <NewKervoskia> She came all the way from South Central Lazarus to be here.
[19:33] <Karpathos> Who can it be?
[19:33] <Karpathos> I just rolled through that hood earlier today, almost got capped by some mark ass bustas
[19:33] *** PingYangPong has joined #The_Pacific
[19:34] <NewKervoskia> Your Asian wife Ping Yang Pong.
[19:34] <Karpathos> ...
[19:34] <NewKervoskia> She has something she needs to tell you.
[19:34] <Karpathos> I paid child support already
[19:34] <Karpathos> It's in the mail!
[19:34] <PingYangPong> Karpathos!
[19:34] <PingYangPong> I pregnant again.
[19:34] <PingYangPong> 23rd time.
[19:34] <Karpathos> AGAIN!!!
[19:34] <PingYangPong> It yours
[19:35] <Karpathos> Damn left over ADN-brand condoms
[19:35] <PingYangPong> I swear.
[19:35] <PingYangPong> You pay more money or I carr porice.
[19:35] <Karpathos> I want a paternaty test!
[19:35] <Karpathos> I bet if I was poor it wouldn't be mine!
[19:35] <PingYangPong> He rook just like you.
[19:36] <Karpathos> You tramp! The baby looks spanish
[19:36] <PingYangPong> And I would quit if you had only 100,000.
[19:36] <PingYangPong> I mean, I never quit on my chirdren.
[19:36] <Karpathos> uh huh
[19:36] <PingYangPong> You pay now!
[19:37] <Karpathos> I regret the day I exploited the commodities loop-hole all those months ago
[19:37] <Karpathos> YOU WON'T GET A CENT!
[19:37] <PingYangPong> Then I sue your ass!
[19:37] <Karpathos> Right Moo?
[19:37] <PingYangPong> I go to Emperor.
[19:37] <Karpathos> Oh yea? Well Moo's the the law
[19:37] <PingYangPong> That cow law?
[19:37] <Moo-Cows> I AM THE LAW
[19:37] <PingYangPong> In Asia you be dinner.
[19:37] <Karpathos> and he owes me for that some time I saved him from becoming a Big-Mac!
[19:37] <Moo-Cows> we're not in Asia, now are we?
[19:38] <PingYangPong> Emperor, I want chird support!
[19:38] <PingYangPong> He pay now!
[19:38] <Moo-Cows> you go to work
[19:38] <Karpathos> Oh yea? Look what the pacific did to asia a few months ago!
[19:38] <Moo-Cows> then you get money
[19:38] <PingYangPong> Damn it!
[19:39] <PingYangPong> You hear from lawyer.
[19:39] <Karpathos> She still won't get a cent
[19:39] <Moo-Cows> the only lawyers allowed in TP are the ones I appoint
[19:39] <Karpathos> hahahaha
[19:39] <Karpathos> No Johnny Cochran here
[19:39] <Moo-Cows> besides, you haven't gone to the fathers of your other children
[19:39] <Moo-Cows> go pester them
[19:40] <PingYangPong> Okay, I wirr.
[19:40] <PingYangPong> Moo, I have your child!
[19:40] <Moo-Cows> I hear Flemingovia hasn't mailed his check yet
[19:40] <Karpathos> I'll give your fi dorrah to leave me alone...
[19:40] <Karpathos> Flem's kid is butt-ugly
[19:40] <Moo-Cows> I don't do Asian girls
[19:40] <PingYangPong> It smell like Quarter Pounder. I ate it last night.
[19:40] <Moo-Cows> then you don't need money, now do you?
[19:41] <NewKervoskia> Miss Pong, please be calm.
[19:41] <PingYangPong> You go to herr!
[19:41] *** PingYangPong has quit (Quit: www.pjirc.com)
[19:41] <NewKervoskia> Oh, thank ADMIN she left.
[19:42] <NewKervoskia> Holy crap on a pyre. Why do wives always do that on my show?
[19:43] <NewKervoskia> Apologies, Senator.
[19:43] <Moo-Cows> you bring out the best in them, NK
[19:43] <Karpathos> Cause you give them ample amounts of PCP?
[19:43] <NewKervoskia> Yes, but it's soooo easy to get.
[19:43] <Karpathos> I hear PetrosPharm is having a sale
[19:44] <NewKervoskia> Do you plan to rebuild your financial empire?
[19:45] <Karpathos> I plan on opening one or two shops at the most, nothing like my previous empires
[19:45] <Karpathos> My focus will be more towards in-game roleplay
[19:46] <NewKervoskia> Arms dealing?
[19:47] <Karpathos> Well, I have come across a stockpile of AKs and M16s
[19:47] <NewKervoskia> I have one right here.
[19:47] <Karpathos> Hopefully I can aquire some biological agents for a few... friends of mine
[19:47] <Naivetry> oooh
[19:47] <Karpathos> Fighting the "flu" and all
[19:47] * TseMoana goes aaaaaah!
[19:47] <NewKervoskia> Oh, it's a menance here.
[19:48] * TseMoana ehm... ahhhhh!
[19:48] <NewKervoskia> We'd all do well to buy some of your product.
[19:48] <Karpathos> Or stock
[19:48] <Karpathos> hint hint
[19:48] * Karpathos winks at the crowd
[19:49] * Karpathos winks at the ladddiieeessss
[19:49] * Khab swoons and falls at Karpy's feet.
[19:49] <Karpathos> We have women-folk now?
[19:49] <NewKervoskia> Oh, yes.
[19:50] <NewKervoskia> At least two.
[19:50] <Karpathos> WHHOOAAA
[19:50] <Karpathos> It's been a while since we had that many
[19:50] <Karpathos> Back in the PRP days wew had like 4
[19:50] * TseMoana joins Khab in falling at Karp's feet, just for the heck of it
[19:50] * Karpathos chuckles
[19:51] * Naivetry Naivetry follows Tse
[19:51] <Karpathos> Any Lost fans here?
[19:51] <Karpathos> If so, call me after the show
[19:51] <Karpathos> If not, you all suck
[19:51] <Karpathos> Sorry for the interruption NK
[19:51] <NewKervoskia> Now it's time for our dear Emperor to come up.
[19:51] <NewKervoskia> BUT
[19:52] <NewKervoskia> A word from our sponsor.
[19:52] <NewKervoskia> Because this show ain't free.
[19:53] <NewKervoskia> If you're tired of your old-rusty car. then come to Herr Schnorer's Auto Dealers and turn your rust bucket into a rust bucket with new wheels.
[19:53] <NewKervoskia> Now Emperor, please come on stage.
[19:53] <Moo-Cows> yo
[19:54] * TseMoana claps and cheers
[19:54] <Karpathos> MOO! YOU'RE MY BOY!!!
[19:54] * Khab prostrates and claps. But you'd better help her back up again, her knees are creeky today.
[19:54] <Moo-Cows> Karp!! Da Pimp is back!!
[19:54] * TseMoana helps Khab up
[19:54] * Naivetry claps excitedly
[19:55] * Khab thanks TseMoana terribly.
[19:55] <NewKervoskia> I have someone whom you both will love to meet.
[19:55] * Naivetry remembers to prostrate as well
[19:56] *** SantaClaus has joined #The_Pacific
[19:56] <SantaClaus> Christmas has come early, bitches.
[19:56] <Karpathos> Oh word?
[19:56] <SantaClaus> I have presents for all of you to mark the return of dis pimp-ass mo'fo here.
[19:56] * TseMoana hides
[19:56] <Moo-Cows> fo shizzle
[19:56] <Karpathos> yyeeaaa
[19:56] <SantaClaus> For my man Karp
[19:56] <Karpathos> Did my tre-duece gat come in?
[19:57] * SantaClaus hands Karp a platinum AK-47
[19:57] <Karpathos> oooh snnnaaappp sonnn
[19:57] <Karpathos> I can shoot so many mark ass hos
[19:57] <SantaClaus> For teh Emperor himself, I have something special.
[19:57] <Karpathos> pound it my chubby red brotha
[19:58] * SantaClaus gives Moo The Empire
[19:58] <SantaClaus> I found it here in my sleigh.
[19:58] * Khab applauds!
[19:58] * Naivetry whistles and cheers
[19:59] * TseMoana cheers
[19:59] * Dalimbar applauds
[19:59] <SantaClaus> For the hos in the house. I have something exxxxxxxxxtra special.
[19:59] * SantaClaus hands them dirty dishes
[19:59] <SantaClaus> I'll pick 'em up at five.
[19:59] <Karpathos> Hell yea
[20:00] * Karpathos hands the ladies his laundry
[20:00] <Karpathos> Hand wash my jeans
[20:00] <SantaClaus> Peace, bitches!
[20:00] * Khab boos and hisses!
[20:00] <Karpathos> thanks ladies
[20:00] *** SantaClaus has quit (Quit: www.pjirc.com)
[20:00] * TseMoana tries to strangle karp with his laundry.
[20:00] <NewKervoskia> Thank you all for tuning into today's edition of Nightline NationStates. Good night, and get out.
Paid for & Produced by The Pacifican Post. Note that all of this is fabricated and not based on (much) fact
Copyright 2007, The Pacific Post. All Rights Reserved
