TNP Writer's Club

[Gradea]

TNP Writer's Club

Welcome to the TNP Writer's Club, a place for writers to share their stories, get advice on worldbuilding and writing and share tips on the ancient art of writing.

 

[Nebula]

Idk, sure.

 

[Piscivore]

Yes.

 

[Felis]

Yes

 

[Syrixia]

Why not?

 

[Kannex]

Gut. c:

 

[Wolfsea]

I'm up for it

 

[Gradea]

Nice to see we are getting interest for my idea.

Okay, the format will be similar to the Writing Thread on the NS forums, a thread where TNPers can share their ideas, review each other's stories and get advice on writing and worldbuilding. There will be no need to signup for the club, you simply just jump in and begin.

 

[Nebula]

I've been doing a little with a science fiction story. We'll see if I can finish it.

 

[Gradea]

I've been doing a little with a science fiction story. We'll see if I can finish it.

What sort of sci-fi subgenre would you classify your story as?

 

[Nebula]

Non-zombie.

 

[Kannex]

Non-zombie.

Valid.

 

[Piscivore]

Non-zombie.

Thank you.

 

[Hiskjriaana]

I'll join. I've been planning on writing a fantasy novel for quite some time, but I've been in the worldbuilding stage for 3 years

 

[Felis]

This is something I just came up with on the fly, I can't guarantee decency in it's quality but I wrote it out of the concept of Eknorvia, pre-reboot Cronaal, and current Cronaal colliding and finally confirming the 'Split-Timeline Conundrum' the Crol-Protestantism followers believe.

Collision. - Eknorvia and Cronaal collide.

As the reporters rushed to Lara Kray's person, her mouth wide open and her glasses falling off of her face with little reaction from the woman herself, her body itself spasmed. It was not humane, her limbs twisted in such unnatural ways, her foot bent backwards into her lungs and her arms bent both forwards and backwards, sticking right into her skull. And for a split second, her body was levitating, her hair strewn across the perimeter and her face appeared to be screaming - but silently whilst such a short period felt like minutes, hours. And after the split-second period, her body returned to her normal stance, standing still and facing forward as if nothing had happened. The reporters backed away, in terror, their eyes widened and a handful of microphones were dropped, they had experienced beautiful horror. A false reality. A collision.

The world had known something was wrong when the entire Crol Archipelago had suddenly disappeared in a flash, without a trace, and a small isle had appeared to the East of South Sytarenne. It had shook the entire world, all that was learnt about the isle whilst Cronaal was gone was the name of it, Eknorvic Cronaal. It had sparked discord and confusion throughout the world and there was no logical explanation until Cronaal had returned and 'Eknorvia' had left. But now, now, they were terrified.

Behind the reporters, the Kray Towers began to spasm, the towering skyscrapers that dominated Ganjarius themselves. They switched between a pile of rubble and the buildings themselves several times before reverting to the original building. A collision.

 

[Gradea]

I'll join. I've been planning on writing a fantasy novel for quite some time, but I've been in the worldbuilding stage for 3 years

I know the feeling.

Anyway, there is no sign up for the TNP Writer's Club, you just begin posting in the thread.

 

[Gradea]

This is something I just came up with on the fly, I can't guarantee decency in it's quality but I wrote it out of the concept of Eknorvia, pre-reboot Cronaal, and current Cronaal colliding and finally confirming the 'Split-Timeline Conundrum' the Crol-Protestantism followers believe.

Collision. - Eknorvia and Cronaal collide.

As the reporters rushed to Lara Kray's person, her mouth wide open and her glasses falling off of her face with little reaction from the woman herself, her body itself spasmed. It was not humane, her limbs twisted in such unnatural ways, her foot bent backwards into her lungs and her arms bent both forwards and backwards, sticking right into her skull. And for a split second, her body was levitating, her hair strewn across the perimeter and her face appeared to be screaming - but silently whilst such a short period felt like minutes, hours. And after the split-second period, her body returned to her normal stance, standing still and facing forward as if nothing had happened. The reporters backed away, in terror, their eyes widened and a handful of microphones were dropped, they had experienced beautiful horror. A false reality. A collision.

The world had known something was wrong when the entire Crol Archipelago had suddenly disappeared in a flash, without a trace, and a small isle had appeared to the East of South Sytarenne. It had shook the entire world, all that was learnt about the isle whilst Cronaal was gone was the name of it, Eknorvic Cronaal. It had sparked discord and confusion throughout the world and there was no logical explanation until Cronaal had returned and 'Eknorvia' had left. But now, now, they were terrified.

Behind the reporters, the Kray Towers began to spasm, the towering skyscrapers that dominated Ganjarius themselves. They switched between a pile of rubble and the buildings themselves several times before reverting to the original building. A collision.

Nice. I don't particpate in TNP roleplay so I am unaware of any baclground information but I must say it's a pretty intriguing concept you got going there. Also, the first paragraph description of Lara Kray is fantastic.

 

[Felis]

This is something I just came up with on the fly, I can't guarantee decency in it's quality but I wrote it out of the concept of Eknorvia, pre-reboot Cronaal, and current Cronaal colliding and finally confirming the 'Split-Timeline Conundrum' the Crol-Protestantism followers believe.

Collision. - Eknorvia and Cronaal collide.

As the reporters rushed to Lara Kray's person, her mouth wide open and her glasses falling off of her face with little reaction from the woman herself, her body itself spasmed. It was not humane, her limbs twisted in such unnatural ways, her foot bent backwards into her lungs and her arms bent both forwards and backwards, sticking right into her skull. And for a split second, her body was levitating, her hair strewn across the perimeter and her face appeared to be screaming - but silently whilst such a short period felt like minutes, hours. And after the split-second period, her body returned to her normal stance, standing still and facing forward as if nothing had happened. The reporters backed away, in terror, their eyes widened and a handful of microphones were dropped, they had experienced beautiful horror. A false reality. A collision.

The world had known something was wrong when the entire Crol Archipelago had suddenly disappeared in a flash, without a trace, and a small isle had appeared to the East of South Sytarenne. It had shook the entire world, all that was learnt about the isle whilst Cronaal was gone was the name of it, Eknorvic Cronaal. It had sparked discord and confusion throughout the world and there was no logical explanation until Cronaal had returned and 'Eknorvia' had left. But now, now, they were terrified.

Behind the reporters, the Kray Towers began to spasm, the towering skyscrapers that dominated Ganjarius themselves. They switched between a pile of rubble and the buildings themselves several times before reverting to the original building. A collision.

Nice. I don't particpate in TNP roleplay so I am unaware of any baclground information but I must say it's a pretty intriguing concept you got going there. Also, the first paragraph description of Lara Kray is fantastic.

Thank you!
I had another idea which I might post later.

 

[Syrixia]

We could make an RP outta that, Cro. I could have the Republic of Syrixia be there too.

 

[Felis]

We could make an RP outta that, Cro. I could have the Republic of Syrixia be there too.

You mean the incredibly abstract concept of Eknorvia and Cronaal becoming one? Cronaal being twisted by the fabric of reality and destroying itself whilst the world watch almost impossible things happen, some similar to when a game glitches (things suddenly popping in and out, entities going through others with no damage)?

Pffft.

 

[pri]

This is something I just came up with on the fly, I can't guarantee decency in it's quality but I wrote it out of the concept of Eknorvia, pre-reboot Cronaal, and current Cronaal colliding and finally confirming the 'Split-Timeline Conundrum' the Crol-Protestantism followers believe.

Collision. - Eknorvia and Cronaal collide.

As the reporters rushed to Lara Kray's person, her mouth wide open and her glasses falling off of her face with little reaction from the woman herself, her body itself spasmed. It was not humane, her limbs twisted in such unnatural ways, her foot bent backwards into her lungs and her arms bent both forwards and backwards, sticking right into her skull. And for a split second, her body was levitating, her hair strewn across the perimeter and her face appeared to be screaming - but silently whilst such a short period felt like minutes, hours. And after the split-second period, her body returned to her normal stance, standing still and facing forward as if nothing had happened. The reporters backed away, in terror, their eyes widened and a handful of microphones were dropped, they had experienced beautiful horror. A false reality. A collision.

The world had known something was wrong when the entire Crol Archipelago had suddenly disappeared in a flash, without a trace, and a small isle had appeared to the East of South Sytarenne. It had shook the entire world, all that was learnt about the isle whilst Cronaal was gone was the name of it, Eknorvic Cronaal. It had sparked discord and confusion throughout the world and there was no logical explanation until Cronaal had returned and 'Eknorvia' had left. But now, now, they were terrified.

Behind the reporters, the Kray Towers began to spasm, the towering skyscrapers that dominated Ganjarius themselves. They switched between a pile of rubble and the buildings themselves several times before reverting to the original building. A collision.

Wow! Absolutely stunning descriptions of Lara! I want to read moreee now!

 

[Felis]

This is something I just came up with on the fly, I can't guarantee decency in it's quality but I wrote it out of the concept of Eknorvia, pre-reboot Cronaal, and current Cronaal colliding and finally confirming the 'Split-Timeline Conundrum' the Crol-Protestantism followers believe.

Collision. - Eknorvia and Cronaal collide.

As the reporters rushed to Lara Kray's person, her mouth wide open and her glasses falling off of her face with little reaction from the woman herself, her body itself spasmed. It was not humane, her limbs twisted in such unnatural ways, her foot bent backwards into her lungs and her arms bent both forwards and backwards, sticking right into her skull. And for a split second, her body was levitating, her hair strewn across the perimeter and her face appeared to be screaming - but silently whilst such a short period felt like minutes, hours. And after the split-second period, her body returned to her normal stance, standing still and facing forward as if nothing had happened. The reporters backed away, in terror, their eyes widened and a handful of microphones were dropped, they had experienced beautiful horror. A false reality. A collision.

The world had known something was wrong when the entire Crol Archipelago had suddenly disappeared in a flash, without a trace, and a small isle had appeared to the East of South Sytarenne. It had shook the entire world, all that was learnt about the isle whilst Cronaal was gone was the name of it, Eknorvic Cronaal. It had sparked discord and confusion throughout the world and there was no logical explanation until Cronaal had returned and 'Eknorvia' had left. But now, now, they were terrified.

Behind the reporters, the Kray Towers began to spasm, the towering skyscrapers that dominated Ganjarius themselves. They switched between a pile of rubble and the buildings themselves several times before reverting to the original building. A collision.

Wow! Absolutely stunning descriptions of Lara! I want to read moreee now!

I wish I added that blood was seeping through her skin during the split-second period!

Not that kind of period!

 

[pri]

Haha that would've been cool !

 

[Nebula]

O_O

 

[Felis]

O_O

Wat! ;-;

 

[Gradea]

It probably sounded better in his head.

 

[Felis]

It probably sounded better in his head.

Everything does!

 

[Syrixia]

We could make an RP outta that, Cro. I could have the Republic of Syrixia be there too.

You mean the incredibly abstract concept of Eknorvia and Cronaal becoming one? Cronaal being twisted by the fabric of reality and destroying itself whilst the world watch almost impossible things happen, some similar to when a game glitches (things suddenly popping in and out, entities going through others with no damage)?

Pffft.

 

[Felis]

What, ;-;

 

[Gradea]

Anyone still here?

 

[Felis]

Maybe!
I should finish what I was writing for this thread but never posted ;-;

 

[Piscivore]

Here's something unfinished I've been working on:

Spoiler

Text removed. Let me know if you want to see it.

Let me know what you think.

 

[quak1234]

I think that was amazing. Duh. I seriously forgot I wasn't reading an actual published book.

 

[Piscivore]

I think that was amazing. Duh. I seriously forgot I wasn't reading an actual published book.

Thanks! Was there any part you didn't like, thought was weak or felt forced or anything?

 

[Nebula]

I should start posting bits of my sci-fi story.

 

[quak1234]

I think that was amazing. Duh. I seriously forgot I wasn't reading an actual published book.

Thanks! Was there any part you didn't like, thought was weak or felt forced or anything?

I don't think so. You set up the world nicely, believably. It all felt so coherent. Was this intended to be the complete story (not patronizing, asking), including the parts in red where more was hoped to eventually be?

Oh! The part where Efessim shows Phel how to use the chopstick things. That felt non-descriptive. I don't know if you were being intentionally vague, but it just felt like "do this, then this, and then this", while I sat there confused as to what was happening.

'She deftly wrapped her long fingers around them. "Like this." Phel took them back, tried with limited success to hold them as she had. "Almost." She giggled. "Move this finger back," she gently adjusted his grip, "... and rest the bottom stick here. Great, now just move the top one to meet the bottom at the point."'

But that's probably being nit-picky. What you wrote was definitely better than some published work I've read.

 

[Piscivore]

I think that was amazing. Duh. I seriously forgot I wasn't reading an actual published book.

Thanks! Was there any part you didn't like, thought was weak or felt forced or anything?

I don't think so. You set up the world nicely, believably. It all felt so coherent. Was this intended to be the complete story (not patronizing, asking), including the parts in red where more was hoped to eventually be?

Oh! The part where Efessim shows Phel how to use the chopstick things. That felt non-descriptive. I don't know if you were being intentionally vague, but it just felt like "do this, then this, and then this", while I sat there confused as to what was happening.

'She deftly wrapped her long fingers around them. "Like this." Phel took them back, tried with limited success to hold them as she had. "Almost." She giggled. "Move this finger back," she gently adjusted his grip, "... and rest the bottom stick here. Great, now just move the top one to meet the bottom at the point."'

But that's probably being nit-picky. What you wrote was definitely better than some published work I've read.

Yes, this is intended to be a complete story. If it goes into a larger work eventually it will be as a stand-alone episode. I kind of know how the troll bit will go, but the part at dinner especially has been giving me fits, because I need to have the traders making him nervous but also changing his mind so he wants to go. Any ideas?


As far as the chopsticks thing; I didn't want to bog the story down with too much technical detail there. That would take three or four sentences that would break up the flow of the scene when the important part is showing Effie's innate friendliness and helpfulness, to contrast with the hostility of the guards and the amulet man and therefore generate sympathy for the troll.


The guards didn't come off too stupid, did they? I was trying a dialect technique I cribbed from another source and I'm not sure if it worked.

 

[quak1234]

For the dinner part: Perhaps the traders can show him some scars and tell him about how dangerous their life is, but how it is also an exciting adventure. I don't really have a clue though, and your obviously better at this sort of stuff then me.
Chopsticks: That reasoning makes sense.
Guards: Ah, I didn't catch that they were supposed to be using a dialect. I thought they were speaking a different language, and I was reading what Phel was able to translate. I couldn't tell, though, between it being a different language or if they were just uneducated, so I just assumed the former. Perhaps the fact that it's a dialect could just be passingly mentioned by someone Phel is with as they arrive at the city?
Question: Is this story about Phel's travels, or is it set entirely in this one city? Also, is Efessim a love interest?

 

[quak1234]

I should start posting bits of my sci-fi story.

Yes, you should.

 

[Felis]

I wrote this some time ago, not very original names, I know. It's meant to be a follow on from collision where Cronaal is officially lost in the other 'dimension' of sorts and has been abandoned by most of the populace, it tells of two people who live in a small tribe/village there and have to go to the abandoned city of Roden (Rodon) to find a generator because their town's one is broken.

It's not very well written and it's only the first paragraph :c

Aka stared up, the sky was grey and bland as it had always been since the very moment he was born and decades before. His ancestors were some of the few who didn't leave the isles, the cold, punishing isles that houses towering mountains and oceans of urban landscape, the cities of old. Eden places his hand on Aka's shoulder, motioning him to get up from the small pile of dirt they were crouching over, it seemed to be an ant's nest in the first place. Aka turned his head a little, to face Eden who was standing, in response to Eden’s motioning and then lifted himself up, it was currently no time to be admiring the sky and they had to keep trudging along into the city – the one their small camp had come to call Roden. Roden was both magnificent and terrifying, its colossal, half-collapsed structure stood tall and mighty over the surrounding snowy waste that had taken many lives with their bitter, furious winds and snow. Roden was also the last place that Aka and Eden’s camp knew had a generator, the rarest of technology that had to be replaced every few decades, it was holding them back. The only issue, Roden was incredibly difficult to enter and leave, the wastes allowing the foolish and unprepared to succumb to its grip.