Ask a stupid question and get a dumb answer

“Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?" Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... "
Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"
Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!" Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price”


Was that what you wanted?
 
300 degrees orange, with a side of tuna.

tumblr_nur9732kUM1ugnoaco1_1280.jpg
 
Why not?

If it is six o'clock on a Tuesday morning, how many toasters will I need to use to make a cup of milk?
 
You need to get a refund on that, mine came in all 16 colours.

How many degrees does it take to get to sleep?
 
because he ran the surface of the moon in sixteen seconds.

how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
 
When your brain chemistry tells you to chop.

If you blend with a blender and wipe with a wiper, what is a fing in a finger doing?
 
1 for you, 6,431 for the grumpy old man.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a 1" rock?
 
None, you just need to smash it against your forehead until you pass out.

Why can't I feel my legs?
 
When Americans celebrate independence by using decorative colored flares and eat fried chicken.

If the polar ice caps melting is so bad, why don't we just dump them in the desert?
 
Because they don't like smooth surfaces.

What is the difference between an ostrich and a frying pan?
 
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