This time in England

Lennart

Lennart

TNPer
27.II.2014 / (2.27.2014 if you write dates in that order)

I never thought I would have a blog here, at least not one like this; a biographic piece of self compassion. Maybe one with nice fiction, you know: sword and sorcery, science fiction, with blood and sex and black humour... That kind of thing, but not this. I think that makes a good disclaimer, so you know what follows is about me, the real me, and may not be of any interest,

I arrived in England past January, I have been living here for fourty seven days and the only thing I regret is not coming ten years ago. English people have been incredibly kind to me and the few friends that I'm making they always make me feel happy about my life here. "you're so lucky", they say, "you got a good job very soon", the thing they don't know is that I had no alternative. I came with enough money to survive for two weeks and I don't want to even think what could have possibly happened otherwise. The only person I knew here left soon after my arrival so I was left on my own and I am very happy with how things turned out.

But there's always a cloud, isn't it? And that's not even a reference to England's lovely winter. It perfectly normal for inmigrants to feel alone from time to time, even more if they are actually alone as I am now, and as I am more times than I'd like to. I can't help but remember it's been no more than a year since my grandma passed away, and fifty days since my cousin did as well. Now it's my grandpa who is in the hospital... He and my granma were my real parents, they raised me while my parents worked countless hours and, even if I accept illness, old age and death as natural things to face in our lives, if anything happens right now I couldn't be there. For the first time I can't be there, and I'm afraid of that.

I can't simply go; my parents, now too old to get a job in that bloody colony but too young to retire, and my brother, still studying, need me to send them money. I can't simply risk everything I got here...

Meanwhile, Carnival is breaking in Tenerife and everyone lucky enough will be partying till next week. Great friends and old loves among the hundreds of thousands of masks dancing in Santa Cruz, getting drunk and high and who knows what else they do these days. "Life's a Carnival", an old song goes... That should be our motto. The show must go on.

Also, tomorrow I'm seeing my old friend Mary Jane *wink*, a friend I haven't seen in months, and hell, how I miss her, she will make me change my mind, for sure.

Bye, TNPers. I hope my next update to be more optimistic :)
 
So somebody actually reads it! ^_^, great, then, here comes the second chapter.

10.III.2014 (3/10/2014)

Carnival is over.

Now it's time for old friends to tell me the crazy things they tried and did on that absolutely crazy week in which Tenerife becomes both a loveable and a hateable place at the same time. They say they missed me, some say there was a lot more booze left undrunk than usual when those nights (and days) were over. It might be true... And it kinda feels good to be missed but I really didn't miss Carnival.

For once, I was glad to be in a quiet place, surrounded by quiet people and not in a sea of drugs and hormones and latin music, a stage on which most of my sentimental, and health, breakdowns have taken place. The words from my sister <<Grandpa is now better, we're OK, don't think so much about us>>, they calmed me even more. I probably didn't need to smoke more marijuana afterwards, but I did anyway... I was so calmed, so peaceful I could have taught one thing or two about meditation to Buddha himself. I sometimes wonder if he got stoned under that tree. Well, I am totally sure he did.

Being so calm, it's no suprise that things get better at work and with my new friends here, now my days off are more and more productive (not today though, I've been playing Mount&Blade for many hours now xD but you know, normally) and I am even looking for a second job (with a very interesting opportunity in the horizon, I'll talk about this later) and developing an unexpected interest in the Italian language and Italian girls. Mainly northern Italian. Yes, I had to go to England to discover that... Because, believe it or not, it's literally easier to find English people in Tenerife than it is in Cambridge.

But we don't have so many haunted houses there and our trees don't lose their leafage in Winter, this foggy setting is perfect for a different kind of story, definitely not a massive latin goddamn party... Somehow I think Carnival is over for me.
 
Change is a natural part of life. It is good to know that you're embracing it. I experienced a similar feeling when I toured Europe in 2011. Many of my friends said that they missed me and talked about what they had been doing. It seemed like nothing at all had changed back there while I was off doing so much. I did find it hard to adjust when I came home. Doing the same things we did in High School just wasn't good enough for me any more.
 
Thanks mate, it's always nice to have your point of view :)

21.III.2014 (3/21/2014)

It's been a crazy week at the not-so-flashy (although certainly elegant) Italian restaurant where I'm working at the moment. Not because of the lot of work to do, that's something we are used to and it hasn't been so busy as it is on holidays, anyway... No. It's been a time for arrivals and departures, changes, mistakes and surprises.

There is this mate who moved on to a different job, and another one leaving England next month. Others will surely follow. There's a new head chef and a lot of details needed to be taken care of. Waiters are always coming and going and, in the midst of such confusion, Managers have to prove their value and grease the wheels.

And they were doing exactly that. Even though, from a prudent distance, one would say he was just telling them off. And I thought I was next. And I was, but I was surprised not to get reprimands and corrections, but praise and reward instead. I was like one of those dogs who were beat by their former owner and now hides when you try to play with them... I think that I even made the gesture.

My conditions will be better and I'll be promoted soon. My bosses are true gentlemen and even if sometimes things go wrong, the future looks bright this time in England.

;)
 
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