LWU April 2021 Update

Sidoneia

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April 2021 Update




Drip Island
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This was an operation we technically started last month, but we will count it still. Using clean puppets, we swiftly took the delegacy to bring enlightenment to Drip Island. We quickly drew a great following, with over 20 wolves moving to the region before the next update, despite some lower numbers due to a previous deployment to help our Europeian friends in Equestria. The occupation lasted for a week and was practically unresisted, as defenders deemed the region unworthy of existence. Following this verdict by our moral compass in 10000 Islands, we proceeded to eject the remaining natives and password the region. With in total 26 endorsements hailing from our own region, a successful purge of the region and a safe password lock to finish it all, the operation is considered a great success.

Editor's Note: While this operation has been featured in last month's regional news, the Drip Island operation has been one of the largest LWU-only operations conducted in recent months, and as such, we believe that this operation is worthy of its own serious press release, silliness of the previous post aside.



Microtransactions
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Some people say history is written by the Victors. Well... it's absolutely true. Case in point: Everyone in LWU is called Victor. And this month, once again we have made history. Our jolly group of Victors have decided to expand our activities. Besides raiding, and other NS-related stuff, we at Lone Wolves United Inc. have decided to venture into the gaming industry. To celebrate the launch of our microtransation-only subsidiary Arts Electronic, what else is there to do but to take over a region with our name to build up hype as a starting marketing campaign? Seeing the region Prima Victoria, we had to do what we do best. Defenders followed, but apparently none of them got the idea to endorse the sitting delegate, leading to us successfully taking the region. A big thanks to our partners in Balder, the Land of Kings and Emperors, the West Pacific Armed Forces and Caer Sidi for their support in the operation.

Okay. I lied. Not all of us are called Victor. We're an accepting community after all. Some of us are called called Victoria. Or Vicky. And for those who don't identify as male or female, if your name has some variation of Vic, you too can join. In any case, look out for this place where you can see even more exciting games... coming out of Arts Electronic, a subsidiary of LWU Inc. Note: terms and conditions apply. Side effects include: constipation, diarrhea, vomiting, nausea, brain damage, cough, sore throat, runny nose, depression, hyperactivity, obesity, weight loss, excessive sweating, dry mouth, and sudden death. For your protection, of course.



MesoMiso-transactions

To better conduct research for our new gaming subsidiary, we have decided to conduct research into our most likely competitors.
(Working hours are not for gaming - Ed.)

Naturally, we had to buy PCs, Xboxes, Switches, Playstations, Macs, graphing calculators, and an etch-a-sketch.

Wait.

So it seems like the PS5 shortage continues. Perhaps something should be done to remind Sony... Maybe we should go right where they came from.

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Yep. Japan. Pan, get it? Explaining a joke never makes it funny.

Accrordingly, we decided to pay Japan a friendly visit. It seems we were not the only ones interested too. Under allied command, we assisted in taking the region in a grand show of force, and hopefully they'll remember to give us our products sooner next time.

To end this section, we shall present a fun fact about Japan:
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[citation needed]



Macrotransactions

Being a native in a region that was raided may not be the best experience. If you're lucky, it would only be an annoyance for about a week. Other times, things may not be as benign. It may well be the darkest day of a region.

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This region felt the might of LWU and allies on the 25th of April, 2021. Why is this date important? Well... it was a Sunday. So you could say that to those natives, it would have been a black sun-day.

Editor's Note: The "Black Sun" motif has been used as an occult symbol, particularly associated with Nazism. Nonetheless, we're trying to keep things light-hearted here. Please bear with the terrible puns instead.

Now you may ask, this was just another raid, so what is with the title? Is it purely a pun for Micro-Meso-Macro? Why yes, astute reader. This was absolutely contrived for yet another of our LWU Lupus trademarked terrible puns. However, it also goes deeper than that. As any experienced raider would tell you, sometimes success may not come immediately. Defenders, not realising the target region, moved to defend it initially but relented, after which the region was taken successfully. It was occupied for about a week with help from our friends in Balder and the LKE, after which the region was prepared to be refounded when we felt like it. But shock and horror hit us when the founder revived and... proceeded to sit in Lazarus, apparently oblivious to the raid. To ensure that remained the case, the former fascist region was refounded and now remains as a trophy in LWU's possession.


 
And on a personal note, I won the LWU Dead Pool by causing predicting the deaths of HRH Prince Philip and scumbag Bernie Madoff. As a reward, I was promoted to Khalif. Watch out for the next round of Dead Pool, starting soon, and you too can become a member of LWU command! Or just get Postmaster General if you're lame
 
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