The Unexpurgated Flemingovian Hymn Book

Flemingovia

Flemingovia

TNPer
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JAL is crazy as fuck
to the tune "Crazy as Fuck" by MC Hawking
CLICKY To Listen


[Trash Talk]
Yo, this one goes out to all you punk
bitches who think the JALman is soft
just because I let you put me on trial.
Listen up, I got something to say.(Let’s do it)

[Verse 1]
Straight out of Montana a crazy motherfucker named Durk.
When I get the ban button I just go beserk,
you hate me cause I'm a bad mama-jamma,
you wanna lock me up put my ass in the slamma.
But fuck that shit 'cause no court can hold me,
you can't even convict me much less control me.
So if you get me as delegate you better duck,
'cause JAL is crazy as fuck.

[Verse 2]
Back in mid-2011 they put my ass on trial,
It’s been going on for quite a while.
The trial goes on, it just seems to persist,
Cos twice all the charges, they have been dismissed.
Cos I’m kicking justices like no one else can,
my dick is twice as long as my attention span.
So if you cross me bitch you're out of luck,
'cause JAL is crazy as fuck.

[Breakdown]
Uh yeah! Make it funky now!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go trial day! It's your birthday!
Yo! Break it down!

[Trash Talk]
Aah ya, that's right. I'm fuckin' nutty.
I'd just as soon send your nation to Kandarin as look at you.
But when you wait for years to accuse me of Treason.
The gate is down and the lights are flashing but there ain't no sense of reason.
Yo, I ain't through yet. Kick that shit back in.

[Verse 3]
Once again a judge is back and I got to predict,
He’s going to try the JAL to convict.
But when I roll I roll it heavy and I roll it phat,
Cos there’s bitches in the courthouse and this trial will fall flat.
Yo, I told you twice already, I wont tell you again,
the mighty JAL is fuckin' insane,
So if you get me as delegate you better duck,
'cause JAL is crazy as fuck.
 
On 21 May 2012 the third longest delegacy in the whole of Nationstates (the 2663 day delegacy of Advanced Weaponry in Lemuria) was ended by a raid spearheaded by the Black Hawks.

For a long time I have wondered why people would raid. On the NS forums TBH said they did it for “fun”. I have long suspected that there are deeper psychological reasons for raiding than this.

So, in honour of the Russian entry in the Eurovision Song Contest, the “Russian Grannies” bring you:

EVERYBODY RAID
CLICK HERE TO SEE THE BLACK HAWKS PERFORMING THE SONG


When I see a region like Lemuria whose delegate’s been there an age
I'm sorry, I can’t help myself I have to piss on his parade
Raiding for everybody, Raid!

Come on and raid
Come on and raid
It’s better than boom, boom

So When I saw Lemuria was peaceful, happy and free
I just got so pissed off, because nobody was looking at me!
I have to raid some regions, can’t help myself at all
Cos when I stop I remember that my penis is so small.

I can’t go boom boom, boom, So I must raid, raid
Can’t make it boom boom, boom with anybody

So I Raid, everybody, raid
Come on and raid
Come on and raid
Come on and
Raid for everybody, raid

Come on and raid
Come on and raid
too small to boom, boom

Why else would I play king of the hill? I need to compensate
cos sexual relations I cannot consummate
So I make out I’m a badass who’s marching out to war
But Keeping score in raiding’s the only way I’m gonna score

Desperate to boom boom boom, but I just raid raid
I wanna boom boom boom with anybody

But I just Raid, everybody, raid
Come on and raid
Come on and raid
Come on and
Raid ‘gainst everybody, raid

Come on and raid
Come on and raid
No time to … boom, boom

Raid, everybody, raid
Come on and raid
Come on and raid
Come on and
Raid, everybody, raid

Come on and raid
Come on and raid
I’m too small to boom, boom, boom, boom
 
Dismayed at the number of Abstain votes in the last election, Eluvatar has announced the first major initiative of his new administration. Namyeknom, who abstained in the delegate election is the first to be told…. VOTE OR DIE.

Based on Puff Daddy, VOTE OR DIE​


Here is the South Park original


Namyeknom: Eluvatar?

Eluvatar: Your friend Flemingovia told me you don’t understand the importance of voting.

Namyeknom: I…..

Eluvatar: Apparently you haven’t heard of my “vote or die” campaign?

Namyeknom: Vote or die? What the hell does that even mean?

Eluvatar: What do you think it means … bitch?

Namyeknom: AAAAAAARGH

Security Council: Vote or die, motherfucker, motherfucker, vote or die!

Eluvatar: Rock the vote or else I'm gonna stick a knife through your eye.

Security Council: Democracy is founded on one simple rule!

Eluvatar: Get out there and vote or I will motherfucking kill you.

Security Council: Vote or die, motherfucker, motherfucker, vote or die!

Eluvatar: Rock the vote or else I'm gonna stick a knife through your eye.
I like it when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)
Shake them titties when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)
I slam my jimmy through your mouth roof (mouth roof)
Now get your big ass in the pollin' booth.
I said vote, bitch, or I'll fucking kill you!

Security Council: Vote or die, motherfucker, motherfucker, vote or die!

Eluvatar: You can't run from a 38, go ahead and try!

Security Council: Let your opinion be heard! You gotta make a choice!

Eluvatar: 'Cause after I slit your throat you won't have a fucking voice
Vote or die! Vote or die!
 
I found a black hawks smiley:

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in Honour of Govindia's unbanning from the region by Court Decree and Eluvatar's hand, I had to celebrate with a hymn:

Based on Without Me, by Eminem. Sing along!

"govindia" don't use my real name, no gimmicks.

Two Global Mods go round the outside,
Round the outside, round the outside
Two Global Mods go round the outside,
Round the outside, round the outside

Guess who's back, back again
Gov is back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back, guess who's back?
Guess who's back?

I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to
See Ramaba no more they want Govindia
I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Govindia, then what I’ll be sustainin’
A little bit of whining mixed with some complain’
Some Mod reports that will be so entertainin’
I veto so many judges that there’s none remainin’
But the Attorney general is not cooperatin’
So I’ll complain about Flem’s forum operating "Hey"
You waited this long to stop debating
Cos soon there will be 500 trials waiting
So letting me back is a victory
Though it seems like a common-sense valedictory

So the powers that be won't let me be
Or let me be me, on IRC
They tried to shut me down on #tnp
But it feels so empty without me
So come on and post This region will be toast
And get ready 'cause this is about to get heavy
I’ll start another lawsuit, "Fuck you, Flemmy!"

[Chorus]
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
I said, this looks like a job for me
So everybody just follow me
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me

A-tiskit a-taskit,
Blue wolf banned my ass and thought it fantastic
If you’re annoying like me you can get yo kicked
But I thought his actions just a little too drastic
And Flem? You I want to condemn,
You fourty nine year old bald headed bastard, blow me
You don't know me, you're too old
Let it go its over, nobody listens to Old Guard
Now lets go, just give me the signal
I'll be there with a whole list full of new law suits
and Mod reports, pouring out all my griefs
And from all the bias I just get no relief
But sometimes this all just seems
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting
But it's just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Biyah
I keep on going without a cease fire
Wont let a thread drop – I just gotta open fire.
"Hey" there's a concept that works
Twenty million other trolls emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It will be so empty without me
 
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