Viedéo

Juhel: You and your father frequently portray father-and-son characters on TV. Usually, they are in conflict or have a strained relationship. Your Dad is usually the bad guy. It looks believable. Is that how you guys are in real life?

Caël: Absolutely not. Our dynamic in real life is different. My Dad is a very chill, cool guy. My Dad and I are extremely close. Being his only son, we two are the only guys in the family, and so we bonded a lot. He’s like my “bro parent” – he treats me at my level but he won’t hesitate to assert himself being my father if he needs to.

Our characters, on the other hand…

Juhel: How many times did you portray such characters?

Caël: Let’s see. In Lancou, my Dad was my character’s rich, neglectful father. In Bed an Eürusted, my Dad played the drug addict who forced my character to cook meth for the syndicate. In Ur bugel nemetañ e oan, my Dad was the spineless father who locked up my character in the basement for 24 years. I could definitely see where the bad rep is coming from. I’d like to make it clear to the audience that my father absolutely loves me. He’s not neglecting me or locking me up in a basement in real life!

Because our relationship is so different from the ones our characters have, I think that makes it easy to separate ourselves from the characters.

Like I put on my profiles, blame my Dad for getting me into acting. It was his dream to be an actor. A dream he had put on hold because of us – he had to support a family. Now that we are all adults, he could pursue his dream. I’m glad I could support him back and be with him in his dream job!

[soft lo-fi music playing in the background]

JAMES:
I think everyone in our industry should respect Pêche and Soto,

because they are the pioneers of an entire ecosystem that are not reliant on the Valhalla Phone OS and they did it all by themselves.

So if it weren't for Pêche and Soto, we wouldn't be here.

In the premium segment Polykor phone is completely dominating everybody and also among the young consumers in the west.

However, you should not be this iterative with your products.

Like if I was them I would be much more worried.

I just don't feel like the Soto Airphone 14 Pro and the Airphone 15—

there's not enough progress between these two for it to be a compelling upgrade for consumers.

---

Mercanti (auto-generated)

Juhel: I heard that you are a member of the nobility. Is this true?

Caël: I knew this question would be part of the rumour mill! (sighs) The rumours are true. And it’s not what you think it is. I will say upfront that we’re not rich!

It’s not my mother’s side that’s the nobles; the Kegelins of Interflix are a self-made family; they descended from fisherfolk and sailors from Béthanie. It’s my Dad’s side, and it not precisely the Boënnecs. In fact, there are still Boënnecs living as farmers near Clisson. They’re commoners.

The noble side of my family are the Du Coëtlosquets, who hail from the village of the same name in the mountains of the upper Boëme valley. The Du Coëtlosquets are a baronial-rank family who were the seigneurs of Coëtlosquet for centuries; they hold large forestry holdings in the intendancy of Cordemais. The Du Coëtlosquets claim descent from Chief Budoc of the Redones, one of the seven Bethonic chiefs in the Battle of Mediolanum Santonum. I haven’t seen the family tree though, but it is said the Du Coëtlosquets are the descendants of Chief Budoc’s youngest son Judicaël.

The Du Coëtlosquets survived the Santonian Revolution because they sided with the Pope-King, the Revolutionary Estates of Bethany, and the commoners. Several family members served in the Royalist Army and even died: Baron Budoc du Coëtlosquet XIX led the regiments from Upper Bethany and died fighting for the revolutionary cause in the Battle of Saint-Gilles-près-Saintes.

It’s a bit of a history lesson, but long story short, because of longstanding traditions and its history as a confederation of tribes, in Bethany and Domnonée, many local nobles typically do not owe their positions to whoever is the duke or petty king. Rather, they have held their positions for centuries, just like the Du Coëtlosquets. Thus, local nobles in the petty kingdoms of Bethany and Domnonée were more provincial, still lived in close proximity with the peasants, spoke the same language (Bethanian), and endured the same hardships that their subjects faced. It was the local nobles rising against Duke George III of Bethany that tipped the province decisively over to the revolutionary cause. Bethany and Domnonée were the few provinces that did not completely abolish their nobility even though their dukes sided with the rebel noble cause. The Estates of Bethany allowed the minor nobles who fought for the revolution to retain part of their holdings as retained leases. The Du Coëtlosquets were part of those.

I am descended from the Du Coëtlosquets through my paternal grandmother Landwenn du Coëtlosquet, the 97th Baroness of Coëtlosquet. Yes, they really count it. My maternal grandmother wasn’t the Baroness her entire life. My grandmother married my grandfather Brivaël Boënnec and she did not expect to inherit the barony. She suddenly inherited the barony when she was in her fifties when it was tracked down that she was the next-in-line legitimate heir of the childless 96th Baron of Coëtlosquet.

My dad Erwan is the third son of my grandmother. My uncle Kenan, my dad’s older brother, died before I was born; he didn’t have children. The second son, Ouën, is the current 98th Baron of Coëtlosquet. Uncle Ouën, or more appropriately Father Ouën, is a priest. He is the parish priest of Coëtlosquet and its adjacent communes. Because Uncle Ouën is childless, the title would most likely pass to my father, who would become the 99th Baron of Coëtlosquet. Aaaaand because I am the only son, so there is a really big possibility that I might become the 100th Baron! Please don’t execute me! (laughs)

Juhel: You’re a noble, the other side is the family who own Interflix, and you say you’re not rich? I think you being poor is the rumour!

Caël: Oh gosh, no. My dad was the black sheep of their siblings. As a young man he wanted to do bohemian hippie things like acting; he didn’t go to university. He almost got disowned by my grandmother. The joke in the family is that he got taken back in when they learned he was marrying into the rich Kegelins!

My dad did not want to take money from my grandmother, and neither did he want to leech off his in-laws' wealth. My mum and dad agreed that they will live within their means. Because we were a brood of five, my mum was a stay-at-home mother and dabbled part-time in small business. My dad was working two to three jobs.

I wouldn’t say we were poor, our parents did their best to make our life comfortable, but we certainly weren’t rich as my parents’ backgrounds would suggest.

Juhel: Did you get any help from your rich families?

Caël: I’d say that our relatives would’ve wanted to help, but my parents wanted to teach us the value of hard work and money. Our relatives respected our parents’ decision. We’d only get fancy stuff from our grandparents and uncles and aunts during our birthdays and holidays. Otherwise, our parents refused to spoil us.

One of the other few things that my parents allowed their relatives to do for us was to sponsor certain activities for us. For me, it was ice hockey. Ice hockey gear and ice time are expensive. My Uncle Thibault on the Kegelin side took care of my ice hockey things and expenses. Still, it was my dad who took me to practice and to games.

The other major one – and it was a surprise when my oldest sister turned eighteen – was that the Kegelins and the Boënnecs put together money for a college trust fund for each of us. My grandparents basically forced my parents to accept it, reasoning that we would be adults when the trust fund would be available to us. So the decision to accept the money should be made by us, not my parents. All five of us took the money.

Juhel: You are a trust fund baby!

Caël: (Sighs) Technically, you could say that… and I am fortunate enough to have money to afford university. Not having to work to pay through college and its expenses allowed me to pursue my collegiate ice hockey career and a double major in Journalism and Mass Communication.

I am not flexing, but I was awarded a Class C quota for Journalism because I had good grades in high school. Because of the trust fund, I was able to pay off the tuition entirely. In Saintonge, if you are able to pay tuition upfront without a loan, they would give you a discount on tuition. That’s what I did. The tuition itself was discounted in the first place because I had a Class C quota. On top of that, a certain percentage of the tuition was waived because I made it to the University of Bethany’s ice hockey team.

That meant I had money left over for living expenses. Because of my upbringing, I was accustomed to living frugally. By the time I finished uni, I still had some money left over. I used that money as seed capital to establish my content creation company called Seabee Productions. It’s just a small outfit, we have only four full-time employees as of the moment.

Juhel: Is this why you don’t endorse stuff or have sponsors in your videos?

Caël: Partially, yes. Seabee Productions’ model is slightly different from the other content creators. The conventional model is that the content creator makes his own content and there would be sponsor reads or affiliate links. With Seabee Productions, the companies – such as Câblé magazine or the Réquins ice hockey team – contracts us to make content for them. These would be uploaded on our client’s channels. Essentially we’re like production studios for the online presence of companies and organisations.

The videos on my personal channel – those aren’t made for our clients. Those are my personal videos. I don’t do endorsements or sponsors so far. This is because I want to research the product/service first before endorsing them. It’s not because I don’t need the money, but my personal stance is that I will only endorse something that I personally use and I am satisfied with.

Juhel: One of the things you have endorsed is the Bethany Suicide Helpline… does it mean you have used it?

Caël: You took the wrong conclusion! Yes, I did mention the 505 Suicide Helpline in some of my videos. I even did a photoshoot for them for publicity materials.

But no, I am not “endorsing” the Suicide Helpline because I used it and I am satisfied with it. It’s not even an endorsement. I did it for free; I wasn’t paid for the photoshoots or voice-overs that I did for them. Seabee Productions was not involved in it.

Remember my Uncle Kenan that I mentioned before? My Dad’s older brother? He committed suicide before I was born. That’s why there is an increased awareness about mental health in our family. Because I did not have to work during college, I spent some of my free time taking up shifts at the Bethany Suicide Helpline. They were in need of volunteers to man the Bethanian-language helpline. They gave me training on how to deal with suicidal individuals who would call the helpline.

I spoke to a lot of people who were in dark places and were in distress. I hope all of them are doing better now. All of us get sad. All of us get depressed. Oftentimes, we just need an outlet. Someone to talk to, someone who will listen. As a college kid, I used to do that for the helpline. I hoped I helped a lot of people feel better.

Juhel: That’s very… noble of you.

Caël: Thank you! Now that my schedule is getting packed with my careers and all, I found myself with less free time to volunteer. I now only take up shifts about once every two months or so, and I explained to them why. They were very understanding. But I told the Bethany Suicide Helpline organisation that if I can do something else for them aside from manning the phone lines, I will do it for them. Nowadays I do some content creation, photoshoots, and voice-overs for their media campaigns – I am now a volunteer social media consultant for them.

The photoshoot I did at the Suicide Helpline was one of the few things that my father – who is my talent agent and my publicist – didn’t like. Didn’t like is too strong a phrase though. I did a few scenarios and photoshoots, and they went with the image of me pointing a gun to my head for the poster.

Normally, as my talent agent, the projects offered to me goes through my Dad. As my publicist, all pictures for publication approval also goes through my Dad too. But because the Bethany Suicide Helpline organisation knew me, they contacted me directly. They didn’t have to go through my Dad and I approved the pictures myself. That’s not the reason why he was… upset with the poster.

As I have said earlier, one of the reasons why I volunteer at the Suicide Helpline was that Dad’s older brother committed suicide when he was around my current age. Dad said that the imagery of me pointing a gun to my head was upsetting because it reminded him of Uncle Kenan. We Boënnec men look very much alike. I look like my father, my father looks like his brother (my uncle). To him, it wasn’t much of a leap of imagination that it was his brother that is pointing the gun to his head. He wasn’t angry or anything; he told me he just couldn’t bear looking at the poster. And this is my Dad who was giving me project after project that involves my characters dying!

Juhel: What were the usual things you encountered at the helpline?

Caël: Mostly relationship things. Breakups. Family issues. We also got some calls from LGBT youth. A gay teenager was upset that his parents found out he was gay and was in a relationship; they were angry and pressuring him to break up with his boyfriend. Those are the more challenging calls to take, when there is an LGBT angle I need to address. My usual technique for other calls is that I tend to tap on my experiences to reassure the callers and connect with them on a personal level… but for calls with an LGBT angle, my experience in that aspect is almost nothing.

Juhel: So you are straight? I heard some people thought you are gay. They were like “Oh Caël is an attractive successful guy in his twenties, but he doesn’t have a girlfriend… he must be gay!”

Caël: I am straight! It’s just that I am not in a relationship right now. You don’t have to be in a relationship to prove your sexuality.

Juhel: Some suspect Fintann over here is your boyfriend.

Fintann: Hey, why did I get involved here! I am just working behind the camera!

Caël: I love Fintann like a brother. He’s my friend since childhood, since we were learning how to walk haha! We’ve known each other all our lives and he’s like my brother from another mother.

Juhel: So, not gay?

Caël: I love my gay fans, but I’m afraid to disappoint you guys… I prefer girls and I am looking for a woman as my life partner.

Juhel: “Looking for??” Does it mean you are single but ready to mingle?

Caël: Yes.

Juhel: Are you dating?

Caël: Mhmmm… yes. I am dating, I hope they go well!

transcript starts at minute 49 of the interview

Hallvard Berge: So you had some remarks, saying that the only distinction between the Syndicalists of Prydania and the Santonian syndicalists is that the Santonian syndicalists have yet to have the opportunity to enact a dictatorship.

Dr. Tryggvi Eskildsen: Specifically I said they hadn’t yet had the opportunity to consider tyranny.

HB: But the Santonian National Party, who syndicalists of that country call home, has the nickname “natural governing party.” They’ve had plenty of opportunities to be in power.

TE: I think we need to make some distinctions. The National Party being in power does not mean their syndicalists are in power, even if the party leader and Prime Minister come from the labour wing, which hasn’t happened since the 1970s.

HB: I’m not sure I follow.

TE: chuckles Every nation has its own internal sets of values and historical contexts that inform the political compass of the present. For most this is simply a shifting of the political centre left or right a few degrees, but Saintonge is different. What qualifies as left or right wing in Santonian politics doesn’t translate neatly to a lot of other countries, our own included. To be clear, this is not a new phenomenon. It was commented on through the early and mid 20th century in Prydania, but the aftermath of the Civil War has sort of brought it into clearer focus here, as many of our friends and family now call Saintonge home. We’ve taken a keen interest in their politics, and the idiosyncrasies have stood out. Our government is led by a right of centre party, Peace not Blood, that is partially spurred on by events surrounding a Santonian National Party National Assembly member of Prydanian birth, and the National Party isn’t right wing, at least not in the Santonian context.

HB: And this context informs this distinction between the National Party gaining electoral power but the labour wing not? They’ve had PMs from the labour wing of that party.

TE: Saintonge’s unique political compass is a result of the Santonian Revolution. While the National Party isn’t an immediate outgrowth of the Revolution, its unique circumstances shaped the political paradigm in Saintonge to this day, and the National Party is reflective of that. It’s made up of five wings, four of which represent a branch of the revolutionary forces- you have labour, agrarians, moderates, the religious who are tied to the national church, and the green faction. The latter is the newest branch and the branch with the weakest ties to the traditional National Party identity as a party of the revolution, which explains why they broke off to form the Santonian Green Party. The remaining green faction in the National Party is probably the weakest of the five factions.

HB: That’s another distinction. Here agrarians have always been a conservative force.

TE: We need to be careful due to how distinct our political contexts are. Yes, in Prydania agrarianism was a conservative force broadly, and still is as a driving force behind Peace not Blood. Yet the Prydanian Agrarian Party, at its height, championed economic interventionism for the agrarian sector, pulled the Conservatives to the centre on economic matters, and this is one of the many legacies informing Peace not Blood's social market policies. Which is a similarity with the wider National Party, by the way. But when you factor in the fact that Prydanian agrarians also had strong ties to the church…well… you can find a lot of connective tissue with Santonian agrarians. Context places one of the left and one on the right in different national circumstances, not that they are radically different. But back to Santonian syndicalists.

HB: The labour wing…

TE: Each of the five branches of the Santonian national party… well to be fair more like four and a half… all support each other like sheaths of wheat. Já, you’re correct, Saintonge has had National Party PMs that belong to that party’s labour wing, but no matter what wing the National Party’s leader comes from, they need to garner support from the other branches. No single branch can take over the party on its own, so whoever gets to the top of that mountain has to compromise. Centrists need to make promises to labour, agrarians have to make concessions to the urbanites, and labour has to moderate. This arrangement has made the National Party as electorally successful as it has been. You don’t become a nation’s “natural governing party” without widespread success. Every leader of the National Party, by virtue of having to build an electoral coalition in their own party, emerges as very electable to the wider voting base. So any and all labour PMs Saintonge has had have been tempered by the National Party’s own internal structures. Not to mention that the National Party’s labour wing isn’t entirely uniform in their syndicalist leanings.

HB: This could change, though, right? Say the labour branch of the party grows larger than the others, enough that they don’t have to compromise as much.

TE: If that happens it will be a reflection of wider Santonian social shifts. We make the mistake of assuming that parties shape society via policy and governance, and they don’t. Society shapes parties. That this four and a half way situation is still valid means that it’s still reflective of the Santonian National Party voting base.

HB: So it’s just internal party structures that you believe has held Santonian syndicalists in check.

TE: Já, I do.

HB: It seems like an unprovable thesis though. Maybe you’re right, but how can you prove it?

TE: Well I did temper it by saying it was my opinion chuckles Still, let’s look at it. We need to understand the eroding of democracy from a partisan political standpoint. Let’s use our own Syndicalists as an example.

HB: Ok.

TE: The Prydanian Syndicalist Party didn’t emerge in the late nineteenth century as a party of tyrants and murderers. Rune Læt was elected to two terms in government, and when he lost the 1931 election he stepped aside peacefully. This was a party that, at the time, was fully committed to the principles of parliamentary democracy. A series of events happened between 1931 and 2002 to turn them into a party that would rather trade one dictatorship for another rather than fight to restore democracy. And even then, these changes were fluid and late-coming. After all, Thomas Nielsen’s five questions…

HB: The speech that won him the Syndicalist Party leadership.

TE: Já. He was elected party leader in 1983, after he gave a speech in the Alþingi where he asked his ‘five questions to the powerful.’ Those being ‘what power have you got?’, ‘where did you get it from?’, ‘in whose interests do you use it?’, ‘to whom are you accountable?’, and ‘how do we get rid of you?’ These are fundamentally egalitarian and democratic in nature. That the man who asked these questions in the national legislature went on to establish a dictatorship is interesting, but it goes to show you that the transition from a party playing by the rules of parliamentary democracy to a dictatorship in waiting was still happening late in the process. So when people say that the Santonian syndicalists in the labour wing of the National Party are good democrats that doesn’t mean much. Good democrats can become tyrants in short order.

HB: It’s kind of wild though, to say that the same events that shaped the Prydanian Syndicalists into dictators can be applied to the Santonian National Party’s labour wing.

TE: Well I don't apply it to the entire labour wing, just the syndicalists. To them though, who said anything about the same events? Nations are shockingly insular when it comes to their political contexts. I wouldn’t expect the processes to be the same. So I don’t focus on events. I focus on end results. And I didn’t say what I said about the Santonian National Party’s syndicalists out of the blue.

HB: chuckles that’s what I’ve been trying to get from you.

TE: laughs We need to keep context in mind! But já. During our Civil War, there were some voices in Saintonge, the loudest of which came from the Santoian syndicalists, who called reports of Syndicalist brutality in Prydania FRE propaganda. Perhaps a reserved and prudent position from their perspective at first, but following the liberation of Austurland and the access the free press of the world had, both to people who had lived under Syndicalist rule and to mass graves and labour camps and prison camps, that position became less and less tenable. The final planks of real support for the Syndicalist Republic in Saintonge, already weakened by this point, fell when the Harrying of Hadden and the Advent Executions happened in quick succession. Even then there were members of the labour wing of the National Party who refused to back down and had to be cowed into silence by the rest of the party, who didn’t want to be associated with ideologues who were championing an abusive regime. Fast forward to the New Aleman invasion of Predice. Santonian neutrality was in play, but the leading figures of the National Party’s labour wing syndicalists were very vocal in decrying anything from the government that even hinted at sympathy for the Predicians. They used the idea of Santonian neutrality- incorrectly mind you- to try and argue a both sides paradigm for a situation where a communist power was invading a democratic power, unprovoked. In both of these cases I think it’s safe to say there’s a degree of moral decay. The willingness to champion abusive regimes and invaders because of ideology overall is a warning sign of democratic decay. If the Santonian National Party's syndicalists were to gain control of the levers of government unencumbered by the opposition or even the rest of the National Party… well… I do think it would be a crisis in Santonian democracy, já.

HB: Recent polling shifts in Saintonge show that the Prydanian community there has shifted to the National Party. How does this work into things?

TE: I’ll be frank here, I’m not Santonian, I do not live in Saintonge. My niece and nephew do, true, but I don’t pretend like I have any authority to tell citizens of another country how they should vote in their own affairs. That’s not my place. Still, I would imagine that if a large contingent of Prydanian-born citizens of Saintonge who fled the Syndicalist regime are comfortable supporting the National Party then that tells me that they perceive the syndicalists of that party as not being an overt threat. That just makes sense, I think.

HB: But you mentioned moral and democratic decay.

TE: Just because I notice these trends doesn’t mean I think they’re in danger of seizing power.

HB: A few months ago you wrote an op-ed that painted the Radical Party of Saintonge as a danger to Santonian democracy.

TE: Já, I did. I stand by that.

HB: So you see threats to Saintonge’s democratic traditions on the left and right, however you want to define those. Isn’t that a crisis?

TE: I think that depends on the political establishment in Saintonge. In that article I wrote about the legacy of the Santonian Revolution. Defining events that set the political status quo hold firm as long as people who were alive for them are around to keep those memories and lessons alive. The lessons of the Prydanian Civil War won’t be lost as long as people are alive to remember it. But in a hundred years when we’re all dead? That will depend on how good a job we do at passing those lessons onto our children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. In Saintonge, the Santonian Revolution was hundreds of years ago. Anyone with a memory of it died a long time ago. For a while the Santonian establishment did an excellent job of passing the lessons of that conflict down the generations, but here we have syndicalists in the National Party putting ideology above basic democratic norms and we have the Radical Party openly embracing bigotry. I want to be clear, I don’t think all is lost. Far from it, I think the Santonian democratic traditions are strong enough to weather this, but whether or not they do depends on how the political establishment responds to them

HB: You did get some criticism for that Radical article, that Saintonge is a country that has freedom of speech and association.

TE: Já, and I think a few of the Santonians who expressed that view took the opinion that as a Prydanian the concepts were foreign to me chuckles

HB: Well regardless, it’s true. Is your solution just to lock up the nuts?

TE: No, and I think it’s a lazy attack to go to. ‘You don’t like their politics, you must want to lock them up.’ No, no. I don’t like their politics, and I’d like to see the political establishment take them seriously as a threat and work to minimize the risk they represent. Jailing political opponents never works, even with the best of intentions. I’m sure the SocComs and the Syndicalists here told themselves everything was for the greater good.

HB: So when you say you want the political establishment to take them seriously…

TE: There’s a belief in what I call privileged countries, such as Saintonge, that if you engage the nuts you validate them and help them grow by giving them a spotlight. I think Prydania, our own history, is a testament to what happens when you let this stuff fester. Because when you ignore them, you let them grow under your nose. It’s a bad situation. Privileged countries…

HB: Could you define that?

TE: Countries that haven’t had to consider political upheaval in at least three generations. It can, in my opinion, lead to complacency in the face of threats to democratic norms. Anyway, in these privileged countries inertia is a powerful force and there is an unwillingness to confront threats to the democratic order. Arrogance, laziness, and complacency all come together. So my warning, from a country that let these forces fester and paid a great price, is for the Santonian political establishment to challenge these anti-democratic factions openly, and push them. Push them until they crack under the pressure. The Liberal Party needs to hold the Radicals to account. The agrarians, centrists, faithful, and greens in the National Party need to discourage the orthodox ideologues among the syndicalists they share a party with. As I said, if Prydanian Santonians who fled the Syndicalists are joining the party, that’s a sign to me they’re doing a decent job of this already. Keep it up. Smack it down.

HB: Is there a reason you see these elements popping up now, over the past twenty years or so?

TE: I think it’s just time. Any political status quo will leave unclaimed space on either the right or left. Often both. And after a certain point there begins to be a feeling that some sort of re-energized electoral success can be found by venturing into these spaces that have long been considered off limits. This is fundamentally the start of democratic decay, and it falls on the establishment to recognize it and push back, to not be complacent. Hell, you don’t even need to be a democracy. Look at Waltalriche.

HB: You’re referring to the Party of the Holy Mother, aren’t you?

TE: I am. I am not going to lie and say that the Waltalriche regime is democratic, because it very clearly isn’t, but it is ruthlessly pragmatic. The political arm, the interestingly named Liberal Democratic Party, has built a status quo based on the accumulation of power, both domestic and internationally. While many of us might recognize it as an extremist regime, it has its practical elements. They refuse to push Waltal nationalism, emphasizing the multi-ethnic nature of the state and affording ethnic minorities some autonomy. They also tolerate the Friedensstadt. This is both an economic arrangement and a social one. The Friedensstadt, while not a fully fledged democracy either, has far more relaxed laws regarding religion, morality, and one’s private life. So Friedensstadt serves as a safety valve. Rather than make martyrs, the regime sends people who refuse to conform to Friedensstadt. So let me ask you this. How do you think the Party of the Holy Mother, a party that believes Andrenne needs to be annihilated in nuclear hellfire, views Friedensstadt?

HB: I don’t…um,, I don’t think they’re fans.

TE: No they aren’t. The Liberal Democratic Party and the regime they serve sees it as a pragmatic partnership. The Party of the Holy Mother views it as an unacceptable heretical compromise. And sending their version of the Pius Militant into Friedensstadt to subdue it and purge it in the name of “purifying the motherland” will be far easier to do than picking a fight with Andrenne. So Friedensstadt has to be our canary in the coal mine on Gothis. If the Party of the Holy Mother gains any influence in the Waltalriche government then we, and by that I mean the PGU, need to guarantee Friedensstadt’s sovereignty, even if it’s not a member nation. If we allow PHM-controlled Waltalriche to move on Friedensstadt than a broader, more destructive war is over the horizon. That would be integral to any wider plans they would have.

HB: And all of this is because of dissatisfaction with the status quo.

TE: It falls on every political establishment, be it a democracy like Saintonge or a dictatorship like Waltalriche, to continue justifying itself to the populace. If they fail to do this then the radical fringes gain traction.

HB: Dr. Eskildsen, I’d like to thank you for joining us. I’d also like to suggest that our listeners and viewers check out your new book Problematic Populism.

TE: Thank you for having me. And thank you for the plug!

Juhel: You used to play ice hockey.

Caël: I did! And I still do!

Juhel: When you were playing ice hockey, did you follow your stats?

Caël: No, I don’t look at my stats. I am a defenceman, my goal counts are usually big fat zeroes.

Juhel: Well, I have here…

Caël: Uh-oh…

Juhel: … I have here a scouting report for you as an ice hockey player.

Caël: Awshucks, now we will know why I wasn’t drafted!

Juhel: Are you ready to hear it?

Caël: Oh dear… go shoot.

Juhel: Scouting report for Caël Boënnec, RD, from Dépistage.co.


Caël: Yep, I played on the right side defence.


Juhel: You are so tall… yet you look like a teenager.

Caël: Yeah I am tall, and height is an asset in ice hockey. The babyface isn’t, haha!

Juhel: You look like you’re fourteen or something in this headshot in your uniform! What does the “A” mean?

Caël: If there’s an “A” in my uniform, that means that was taken in my senior year. It means “alternate captain” or “assistant captain” of the team.

Juhel: So you were like a leader in the team.

Caël: You can think of it that way, yeah.

Juhel: Okay, going back to this, it looks like height is the first thing they look into. The first sentence here mentions your height.


Juhel: I’m not into ice hockey, but it said you are a rare guy?

Caël: Right-shot ice hockey players are less common than left-shot ice hockey players. It has something to do with the placement of your hand on the hockey stick and the orientation of the blade. Because a lot of people are right-handed, there are a lot of left-shot ice hockey players.

Juhel: Are you left-handed?

Caël: No, I am ambidextrous.

Juhel: Ambidextrous huh?!

Caël: Yes, I can write equally perfectly with my right hand and my left hand. Also an asset in handegg.

Juhel: That’s interesting! Anyway, going back to ice hockey…

Caël: And then, in ice hockey, defencemen are by themselves a less common breed of hockey player… because people like to score goals and that’s usually the role of the forwards. Forwards in ice hockey are like strikers in football, while we defencemen are like defenders. Children gravitate towards the striker position; same in ice hockey. Being a defenceman is less popular. And then, defencemen playing on the right are less common than those playing on the left. So I have three already uncommon attributes – right-shot, a defenceman, playing on the right – essentially I am like a rare VasaMon haha. Right-shot RDs are highly sought-after in ice hockey… but you’d probably learn later why teams didn’t have any interest with me! It’s embarrassing!

Juhel: Hey, that should’ve been your ticket to being drafted to the professional leagues. I’ll continue reading:


Caël: Oh gosh, there you go. I was called a pylon so many times!

Juhel: A "pylon"?

Caël: It’s hockey slang for a player who doesn’t seem to move… like how electricity pylons are stationary. I had also been called a traffic cone, because opponents are able to skate around me ha!

Juhel: You are slow?

Caël: I do skate slower than most of my teammates, yeah, I admit that.


Caël: Ouch.

Juhel: Hahaha you are being roasted by the scout!


Caël: Oh dear. I am literally facepalming right now. This is embarrassing.

Juhel: Hahahaha!

Caël: What did I get myself into? Haha. They’re destroying me!


Juhel: Hey, the scout says positive things too!

Caël: But overall it’s not good! He says I am best suited for third pairing!

Juhel: What does ‘third pairing’ mean?

Caël: In ice hockey, you usually have three pairs of defencemen that you rotate throughout the game. Your best ones are the top or first pair, the ones you play the most and the longest. The third pair is the bottom pair… that is, your worst defencemen! That was me!

Juhel: So the last sentence was a dig?

Caël: You can see it that way, yes! I don’t actually mind. I know what my capabilities are. I was even called a 7th D.

Juhel: What’s a 7th D?

Caël: Seventh defenceman. Normally, a roster has 23 players. Then the team “dresses” – or plays – 20. Normally you play 12 forwards, 6 defencemen, 2 goaltenders. There are three extra players. These three players do not play, it’s called a “healthy scratch”. Usually the roster contains two extra forwards and one extra defenceman. The seventh defenceman is the extra defenceman who doesn’t play. And can I just say… I had been the seventh defence and healthy-scratched so many times! I was thaaaat bad.

Juhel: You are so hard on yourself, Caël. I mean, you got accepted into your university ice hockey team. That’s gotta be something, right? It’s better than the huge majority of Santonians who can’t play ice hockey, let alone skate…

Caël: Wait till you read some more. There’s probably more that the scout will say. I haven’t read that report but there’s probably more criticism in there!


Juhel: FOUL! Oh god that’s foul! I feel offended on your behalf Caël.

Caël: Don’t be!

Juhel: This guy just made a dig at your intellect and initiated a takedown of you!

Caël: I know what my capabilities are, I am self-aware enough not to be offended!

Juhel: You think you suck, but you got to be the assistant team captain! That’s gotta be something…

Caël: I don’t know how I stumbled upon that role, honestly.


Juhel: Ah there you go, the reason you became an assistant captain. Your teammates liked you.

Caël: Now it makes sense. Shoutout to Trev, Ouën, Kegan, Tebod, and Gaël, my buddies in the team.

Juhel: I feel that the assessment is too harsh.

Caël: It is what it is! I just don’t like hitting people in ice hockey. People thought that because I am big, I should use my size to my advantage… but I really feel bad crushing a smaller opponent just to get the puck off them! That’s why I suck at ice hockey!

Juhel: Do you still play ice hockey?

Caël: Yeah, I do, recreationally. I am a member of a rec league in Redon. We play about once a month. You don’t hit a lot in rec leagues, in some it’s even forbidden.

Juhel: Rec league… that’s an amateur league, right?

Caël: Yes it is an amateur league. I’m not good enough for the professional leagues or even the semipros, but our team had been winning the amateur rec league for two years straight already!

Fintann: Hello and welcome to a special episode of Câblé Explains. I am Fintann. You might have heard Caël mention me a few times in some of his videos. I am Caël’s best friend and his partner in his content creation company that makes the explainer videos for Câblé.

Since Caël is away filming his latest TV series, I have taken over this space for now. Don’t tell him or tag him on social media. He doesn’t know we’re doing this. Tag him when we’re done.

It’s Caël’s birthday today and we decided to surprise him with a special unannounced video livestream about him. Caël, don’t worry, Câblé had fully colluded… I mean, collaborated… with this. This video has their approval, you just didn’t know it because we went behind your back! Câblé appreciates your impact on their channel. Your content had helped drive the growth of their subscriber numbers and provided fun answers to questions that people are too afraid to ask.

We have also seen Caël’s personal channel grow too, thanks to you, our beloved viewers and subscribers, who enjoy the quirky content that we produce. I would’ve cross-posted this there too, but only Caël has access to that channel… so I couldn’t.

Today we are trying to explain the explainer guy. I know he had made at least two Ask Me Anything (AMA) videos, but that’s him answering the questions. I would like the audience to hear about Caël from the people who know him the most – his sisters!

If you watch Caël’s videos, he had mentioned quite a few times that he grew up with four sisters. So I had invited them all to this video call. Hello ladies!

Sisters: Hi!

Fintann: So I will be asking you questions about Caël and then we will be selecting a few questions on the chatbox if we have time. But first, ladies, please introduce yourselves.
Morgane: Oldest first?
Kristenn: Ha! It always has to be that way. My name is Kristenn Boënnec-Kersaudy, and I am the eldest child. I am now married with two little ones.
Morgane: I’m Morgane-Clémentine Boënnec, the second child and the only one with a second name. Like Fintann, I am a partner at Caël’s video production company. I am a trained accountant, so I handle the administrative and financial stuff.
Fintann: Before anyone gets the wrong idea – no, our production company is not big. There’s just five of us.
Maëlle: I’m Maëlle, Caël’s twin sister. They say we are polar opposites.
Fintann: So it’s your birthday too. Happy birthday Maëlle.
Maëlle: Thank you!
Rihann: My name is Rihann, Caël’s younger sister and the youngest in our siblings. I’m a college student.

Fintann: Thank you ladies for introducing yourselves. For his birthday, we are either going to butter up or roast Caël!
Rihann: What is he, today’s roast dinner?
Fintann: I’m sure the birthday boy will be fine with it. He’s a good sport. So, first question for the ladies, describe Caël in one word.

Kristenn: Sweet.
Morgane: Hardworking.
Rihann: Caring.
Maëlle: Naughty.
Morgane and Rihann: NAUGHTY! (laughs)
Kristenn: You got to explain that, Maëlle.

Maëlle: You see, Caël and I are polar opposites. Before the audience gets the wrong impression, Caël and I are not enemies. But being twins meant we had that special bond and we are a bit competitive with each other… which I don’t see him doing with my other sisters.
Fintann: Sounds like a juicy tidbit. Tell us more.
Maëlle: I’m the sister that Caël likes to rib and tease the most…
Morgane: Yeah, you have that weird relationship that he doesn’t have with the three of us.
Maëlle: … and it’s mostly because I start it. I’ll admit that. I’m the instigator.
Rihann: You always like to point out that you’re older than Caël by five minutes.
Maëlle: I’m more of a bully to Caël sometimes!
Morgane: You used to call Caël “fat” when you were little.
Maëlle: That’s because he was pudgy when he was like two or three. I started teasing him about it when I saw our toddler pics. He had that fat phase. Not anymore. Caël is a tall buff guy now.
Kristenn: The number of times you made Caël cry is more than the number of times he made you cry.
Maëlle: Not contesting that fact! I am the black sheep of the sisters. When we were children, I liked to rile up Caël until he cries. Mind you! I do not do that anymore, we’re adults now.

Fintann: Why “naughty”?
Maëlle: Oh you don’t know the stuff that Caël could say or do if he’s angry or doesn’t like you at that moment.
Fintann: Such as?
Maëlle: I’d rather not say, it’s some childish things and we’re over it. Caël can easily do a 180 when he sees someone being hurt. Caël can say or do hurtful stuff one moment, but when he starts to see me cry, he’ll come around, apologise quickly, and give me a hug. Such an angel.
Kristenn: That’s what I know about him. He’s such a sweet, polite boy.
Morgane: Totally the opposite of the roles he had played on TV.
Rihann: Contrary to male stereotypes, Caël does remember all our birthdays and sends us something every year. An expression of his caring attitude. I’m the youngest sister, and while everyone here was doting on me (I hope!), Caël was like the best big brother. There was a time that somebody tried to bully me at school, and one face-to-face with Caël meant that the bully never bothered me again.
Kristenn: I think there’s also the fact that he was the only boy in the brood. My Dad and Caël have a unique bond. Our Dad had instilled in him that he’s the only boy amongst sisters; Caël will be the man of the house when my dad is gone. He had to protect and stand up for his sisters. Even for me, even though I am older than him.
Maëlle: That’s why the three of us are still unmarried!
Morgane: Oy, don’t include me in that. I have a fiancé.
Kristenn: Oh yes, prospective suitors have to go through Dad and Caël first.
Rihann: Caël has even higher standards than Dad does.
Morgane: My fiancé Brice is Caël-approved already.
Kristenn: My husband was initially unnerved by Caël. He called Caël my “scary younger brother”. (laughs)
Maëlle: What did Caël do?
Kristenn: Essentially, Caël walked up to my then-boyfriend Corentin and told Corentin to his face that if Corentin hurts me, he would have to deal with Caël. Caël was merely seventeen at the time… you remember the family dinner where I introduced Corentin? Yes, that was what happened.
Rihann: What did Dad say?
Kristenn: He said he didn’t have to do anything. I quote Dad: “Caël already did my job.”
Maëlle: I thought you said Caël was polite?
Kristenn: Caël was polite! Corentin said Caël told him that in a calm and matter-of-fact manner. Not even threatening. Not even jokingly. Just casually. That’s why Corentin was unnerved.
Morgane: Caël also dislikes lazy people. He once chased away an ex-boyfriend of mine because Caël thought he was good-for-nothing: “You should be able to support my sister, she shouldn’t support you!”
Maëlle: I think Dad really drilled into Caël a man’s role in the family.
Morgane: That’s why I said he’s hardworking. He works a lot. He has this sense of independence that he wants to be his own boss, but not because he wants to lounge around. I mean, look, if he wasn’t too busy, we couldn’t do this podcast!
Kristenn: What is he doing right now?
Morgane: He’s filming a TV series for Skinwel and I know there are some other filming lined up. Dad takes care of that for Caël because Dad is his agent. That’s his personal thing, we are not a part of that. On our side of things is his business. He and I, plus Fintann… we are partners in his content creation company. He set that up when he got the gig here at Câblé. That’s also the company contracted by the Réquins ice hockey team. We do have a few other accounts, but our company is still small. Three full time employees – Tristan and Eved, plus Fintann over here. Caël and I still work other jobs outside the company. I have a part-time accounting job, and as we all know, Caël has gotten into acting.

Fintann: Speaking of acting, @flixative asks on the chat : “What is your favourite TV show/episode that Caël has been in?”

Rihann: Lancou.
Morgane: Oh, definitely that. Caël and Dad are both in that episode!
Maëlle: That show rekindled Dad’s acting career. And bolstered Caël’s.
Rihann: Can I just say, Dad and Caël look so much physically alike. You can’t deny they are father-and-son. Maybe that’s why they worked in Lancou.
Fintann: How about you Kristenn?
Kristenn: I don’t watch Caël’s TV shows.
Rihann: What?
Morgane: Why?
Kristenn: I think we all know – it’s practically much a Twitcher meme already – that Caël’s roles are usually corpses. Or he gets hurt or murdered or something on his TV shows. I just can’t watch it.
Rihann: Awww.
Maëlle: Even though it’s just acting?
Kristenn: Mhmm. I can’t stomach seeing my baby brother getting hurt – even though I know it’s just acting. I have to constantly remind myself that it’s just make believe. I think it’s that motherly instinct?
Morgane: I understand. Mum also doesn’t watch Caël’s TV shows.
Maëlle: She doesn’t?
Morgane: She asks first if Caël will die in the show. She won’t watch if he will.
Kristenn: I do the same with Corentin – I ask for spoilers first. He teases me for it. When I watched that Lancou episode I cried and almost had a panic attack when Caël was shot. Corentin had to calm me down.
Maëlle: Overreacting much?
Kristenn: Haha! I thought so too afterwards, but the feeling was really visceral, something you can’t really describe or control. Corentin was initially amused that I was “crying at the wrong scene”. It was like a family member being murdered in front of your eyes.
Morgane: Does Caël know about this?
Kristenn: He does. After Corentin calmed me down, he messaged Caël. Caël called me immediately and assured me he’s alive.
Maëlle: Did he laugh?
Rihann: I bet Caël didn’t.
Kristenn: You’re right, he didn’t laugh. He was more worried than anything. And then the next morning, he drove all the way here to Saint-Océan for a surprise visit. He brought me flowers. I’ve haven’t been as clingy to him in the recent years. He stayed with me through the morning, played with my sons for a bit, and then he left for Redon after lunch. That’s how sweet Caël is.

Fintann: A relevant comment in the chatbox from @jelvestrc. “I thought it would be easy to watch coming from a family of actors.”

Kristenn: We’re not a family of actors. Only our Dad was the actor, and he did theatre.
Morgane: But didn’t you do some acting… ?
Kristenn: I did not. I think Maëlle did.
Maëlle: I was the one who did. I had some child acting roles and commercials on TV.
Rihann: Neither did I. Although Dad asked me if I was interested. You stopped already, Maëlle?
Maëlle: I stopped after high school.
Kristenn: I thought you would be the one who would go into acting.
Maëlle: I didn’t enjoy it, although I was in theatre class during high school. To be frank, I never thought Caël would get into acting too.
Rihann: I wonder how much cajoling Dad had to give Caël so he would agree to audition for Petit Royaume.
Kristenn: That father-son bond probably would be good enough. I see that with my husband and my sons. He gets them to do things that I couldn’t get them to do.
Morgane: I thought he’d probably be like an ice hockey player as an adult.
Maëlle: He sucks at ice hockey.
Rihann: Maëlle!
Maëlle: His words, not mine. That’s one thing about Caël, he’s self-aware on what he’s good and not good at.
Morgane: Disagree. He still thinks he’s a mediocre actor.
Rihann: Big bro already has a fan club. That’s not mediocre.

Fintann: I have asked you to describe Caël, and you all had positive things to say. Now let’s roast him. What is Caël’s worst attribute? One word answers please.
Rihann: Big bro, forgive us in advance, hehe.
Morgane: Garrulous.
Maëlle: Overprotective.
Rihann: Worrybug.
Kristenn: Unassuming.

Maëlle: I feel that Rihann’s answer and mine are kinda related. It ties up to Kristenn’s story about Caël talking up to Corentin on the first day they met. I’ve lost count of how many potential boyfriends did Caël scare away.
Morgane: That’s because you tend to choose guys with red flags.
Maëlle: Hey!
Rihann: Caël does that, he points out red flags with the guys who court me. He’s like, “avoid him, he’s a f~ckboy; avoid him, he’s a bum; avoid him, he’s domineering.”
Maëlle: And Caël is not? Domineering?
Rihann: Caël is not domineering towards me, I take Caël’s advice freely. You should’ve, too.
Morgane: Oooh the burn haha.

Fintann: Sounds like juicy gossip here. Maëlle, do you blame Caël for your lovelife or lack thereof?
Maëlle: Honestly…? Partly yes! Not dunking on Caël here. I genuinely think he has my best interests at heart. I refused Caël’s counsel before and look where it got me.
Kristenn: We got a niece.
Maëlle: So I think Rihann is actually right. Should’ve taken Caël’s advice.
Kristenn: You two had a big falling out back then because of it.
Maëlle: We’re ok now. I’m so glad Caël’s got my back again. My daughter has a doting uncle! I still do stand by saying he’s overprotective, because I think there are other ways of achieving the same thing without going over the top.
Kristenn: Fair. For me, I think it’s a good feeling that somebody’s going to stand behind you when you’re falling down, and stand in front of you when you’re under threat.
Morgane: Caël doesn’t look like a ferocious threatening guy on account of his babyface, but you’d be surprised!

Fintann: I think I have seen that before in Caël. We’ve been friends since childhood. Trust me, guys, you don’t want to be on Caël’s bad side.
Kristenn: I know you’d know that. You’re like his brother from another mother. A brother he didn’t have, because we’re all sisters!
Fintann: Gee, thanks, Kristenn! Anyway, you said…

Kristenn: Unassuming.
Fintann: Care to expound…?
Kristenn: I find Caël to be humble to a fault. He doesn’t like taking credit, he doesn’t like the limelight, he doesn’t like being at the centre of things.
Fintann: “Doesn’t like the limelight” feels odd for an actor.
Kristenn: I feel that’s partly the reason why he goes only for bit roles. He didn’t actively pursue acting; I think acting found him. He’s natural at it.
Morgane: He still denies that he is a celebrity, even though he had been in multiple acting gigs, his Viedéo channel has hundreds of thousands of subscribers, and yes, he has a fan club now.
Kristenn: You can trust Caël not to have fame or fortune get into his head.
Maëlle: I feel that I am prouder for him than him being proud of himself. I was ordering coffee one day at a local Tim Ortonnes’ and I paid with my credit card. The barista read the name of my card and she asked, “Boënnec? Like the actor and explainer guy?” I excitedly said “YES, THAT’S MY BROTHER!”
Fintann: That’s one proud sister!
Maëlle: Meanwhile, when Caël and I are having a “twin bonding” dinner at a restaurant a few weeks ago, a server recognised him and asked if he was Caël Boënnec. Caël blushed and smiled and meekly nodded. Meanwhile, I was like “Yes! That’s his name! It’s him!”
Rihann: I also had similar experiences. I once had a college professor asking if I was related to Caël.
Morgane: Even though Caël is talkative, he doesn’t like talking about himself. He likes to talk about other things.

Fintann: Is that why you said Caël is “Garrulous”?
Morgane: Yes. Sometimes Caël can be a talking machine. He's like a smart scatterbrained guy or something. One moment you are talking about… I don’t know, movies, and then a few moments later he’s talking about fruit or something.
Kristenn: There’s never a dull moment with Caël. He always has stories and stuff to say.
Rihann: Also not the typical male stereotype of being laconic.
Kristenn: Maybe it’s because he grew up with women!
Morgane: But even I sometimes couldn’t keep up with Caël. Especially when it’s a topic he’s interested in and has a lot of things to share about.
Rihann: That’s why I think he’s a good Explainer Guy. He can stretch one innocent question to explaining everything related to it… without sounding highfalutin’.
Morgane: I can’t keep up when he’s talking about ice hockey or science.
Fintann: Haha, I agree that Caël can be very animated when talking about stuff he likes. It’s like he’s an endless fount of knowledge that you don’t know where it’s coming from. I don’t play ice hockey, yet I know a lot about it on account of him frequently yapping to me about it.
Maëlle: He’s a NERRRRD.
Fintann: You’re saying it as if it’s a bad thing! I’m offended! (laughs)
Morgane: The best defence to Caël’s yapping is to yap back at him, like what you do, Finn.
Fintann: Hey, this is Caël roasting podcast, not a Fintann roasting podcast!
Morgane: (laughing) All I’m saying is that you two best friends are smart. I’m proud to have a smart brother.
Maëlle: … who I used to bully to do my homework.
Kristenn: Heh, I so remember that.
Maëlle: I got caught, you know that. Not because Caël exposed me, but because Rihann complained that Caël had no more time to help her with her homework.
Rihann: I was playing against the twin card on that one!
Maëlle: Teenaged me was like “Hey Caël, I let you share the womb for nine months with me. Do my homework in return.”
Kristenn: Serious?
Maëlle: It worked only once. I didn’t think Caël was really threatened, he just laughed and proceeded to give me his homework so I could copy the answers.
Morgane: Why did Rihann complain?
Maëlle: It’s because I asked Caël to help me with my homework the next time around. Now he had to help two. Coupled with his ice hockey games, he didn’t have much time.
Rihann: I remember Caël falling asleep from fatigue while he was teaching me science. It was a Sunday evening and he had come from a hockey game. He was tired but wanted to tutor me still. He was worried I might fail my science class.

Fintann: Was that the reason why you think Caël is a worrybug?
Rihann: That and more. Caël, for all his busy schedule, still has time to check on me, message me to ask me how I am, and so on. Like once or twice a day. Even though I live with him because my university is nearer to his place.
Kristenn: I get a message every day or two.
Morgane: I get one every day.
Maëlle: Me too.
Fintann: Don’t worry, I get one every day too!
Maëlle: I wonder how many people he does it to. It’s also not a canned message. It varies every day.

Fintann: Huh. Looks like we don’t know about that; we have to ask him how many people does he check on everyday. Speaking of that, the next question is: What is something a lot of people don’t know about Caël?

Rihann: He’s good at cooking.
Morgane: Yuh.
Kristenn: Wait, Caël cooks?
Morgane: Why do you think his place has a full kitchen with all those gadgets?
Rihann: He’ll tell you that his cooking sucks. But his cooking is good… now. It was blech at first.
Kristenn: When did he start cooking? I haven’t tried any!
Morgane: I have tried some. He sometimes brings food to the office. It’s yummy.
Rihann: He picked up cooking when I moved in. He said he doesn’t want me eating “college food” like he used to.
Maëlle: What is his definition of “college food”?
Rihann: Junk food and takeaway food. He wanted me to eat tasty healthy stuff. So he studied cooking. He meal preps for us on the weekends.
Maëlle: What does Caël cook?
Rihann: He cooks a lot of varied stuff. He does fancy Santonian cooking – I think he took a few classes.
Fintann: Yes, he dragged me into one of those cooking classes.
Rihann: He also cooks Predicean cuisine – he loves those. Also Skandan.
Kristenn: Do you cook for Caël too?
Rihann: No.
Kristenn: Why aren’t you cooking for Caël?
Rihann: His cooking is better than mine!
Kristenn: Your brother might be a domesticated boy, but you should learn how to cook too! Think of your future spouse!
Rihann: I’ll find myself a domesticated boy then! (laughs)
Morgane: Good luck with that, Rihann. Anyway, for the women our audience who wants a domesticated boy, Caël is single and ready to mingle. That’s my answer to your question, Finn.
Rihann: I’m not sure about the ‘ready to mingle’ part.
Morgane: Well, people already know he is single, but not everyone knows he is ready to mingle. Even Caël, he doesn’t know he’s ready to mingle!
Maëlle: What are we now, a matchmaking service for Caël?
Morgane: Of course! His wife should be sisterhood-approved. Right?
Sisters: YES!!!
Kristenn: He had relationships before, yes?
Rihann: I think he had two.
Morgane: He had one, that social climbing b~tch cheater. She was his girlfriend in high school and then when they went to different universities, she cheated on Caël with another guy from her uni.
Maëlle: By that “social climbing b~tch cheater”, you are referring to…
Morgane: Yes, I am referring to her. She is your friend.
Maëlle: Correction! Was my friend. She’s not my friend anymore. Caël and I might not have been on speaking terms when they broke up… but Caël is still my brother and I chose him over a “social climbing b~tch cheater”. She actually tried to manipulate me against Caël because she knew that Caël and I were not on good terms. Instead, I cut her off and her toxicity. Friendship over. She hurt my twin brother and only I should be able to do that! (laughs) Just kidding.
Rihann: Caël had another girlfriend in college, but I think it was short lived… Fintann knows more.
Fintann: Lasted three months.
Maëlle: WHO IS THAT WOMAN WHO BROKE CAËL’S HEART?
Fintann: They parted amicably. Caël met her at a student org at uni.
Kristenn: Was Caël hurt?
Fintann: He’s over it.
Morgane: Why did they break up?
Fintann: Apparently the girl was on an exploratory phase. She realised she was a lesbian, came out to Caël, and they split. Caël was actually the first person she came out to. They’re still friends to this day. Hi Eved’s wife!
Maëlle: (points at the camerawoman) That was you!?
Eved (off camera): No, it isn’t me. It’s my wife that was Caël’s ex. She said Caël’s encouraging and nurturing nature helped her find her true self. She’s forever grateful to Caël.
Kristenn: Caël didn’t introduce her to us!?
Fintann: From what I know, she wasn’t ready to face your sisterhood. Because she was still unsure of herself. And who wouldn’t be scared of you four!
Morgane: Yes, all prospective girlfriends of Caël must go through with the sisterhood. If Caël does it for our boys, we will do it for his girls!
Fintann: Sounds like Caël would never find a wife with your high standards! Anyway, I haven’t heard from Maëlle and Kristenn about what people don’t know about Caël.

Maëlle: Caël saved Saintonge.
Fintann: I don’t think we’re allowed to talk about that.
Maëlle: We’re not?
Fintann: Caël and I were sworn to secrecy.
Maëlle: Oh I see. How about… Caël plays handegg. He’s better at handegg than he is at ice hockey.
Kristenn: Yes, he was the captain of his school’s handegg team.
Maëlle: I’d say though, it’s kinda easy to become the best at handegg because it wasn’t a popular sport. Our high school had just started a handegg programme when we were there and Caël was one of the first to learn the sport. Only a few people went into that sport at the time.
Fintann: Caël dragged me into that too.
Rihann: You played handegg too?
Fintann: A bit, but there are people who were better than me, so I was always benched. Caël was a quarterback, and he led the team.
Maëlle: I feel he could’ve been more successful in handegg than in ice hockey.
Fintann: Our team was not good! Also, Caël preferred ice hockey. I wasn’t surprised that he opted for ice hockey in uni rather than handegg.

Fintann: And Kristenn? What’s one thing people don’t know about Caël?
Kristenn: Caël almost died when he was a child… because of me.
Morgane: Oh that. I vaguely remember the incident.
Kristenn: Maybe that’s why I react that way to Caël’s TV shows? I literally saw him almost die when we were children.
Fintann: I only know a bit, Caël never told me the details.
Kristenn: I think I was ten years old and Caël and Maëlle were two years old. It was Caël’s “eat everything” phase – that’s why he was a pudgy toddler. Mum told me to watch over the twins as she was attending to Morgane at the time. We were in front of the TV and I was eating fruit. Grapes. Caël reached over and wanted some. Being the doting older sister, I gave Caël a grape – whole. I even put it in his mouth. Big mistake. Caël gobbled the entire grape without chewing. He swallowed the grape whole. Next thing I knew, he was turning blue. I didn’t know it at the time, but you should never give small children large pieces of food. Caël was choking on the grape. I screamed for Mum and when she came, she found me cradling an unconscious Caël on my lap. I was crying so hard. She tried doing back blows as she yelled at me to call 159. I was crying on the phone with the ambulance dispatcher. Caël was still unconscious when the ambulance came. I wanted to come but Mum yelled at me that I can’t. I thought I killed my brother. I was inconsolable the entire day and the days after. I wouldn’t go to school unless I saw Caël. When Caël was finally stable, Mum and Dad brought me to Caël’s hospital room. I hugged him tight. Caël’s first words to me was “I love you big sis.” No blaming, no anger, just pure innocence.

Caël stayed in the hospital for three weeks because of complications, but I was so happy I have my baby brother back. His “eat everything” phase stopped after that event. He lost a lot of weight during the hospitalisation that’s why Caël is thinner in his later pictures. He stopped gobbling everything up. He did not become fat afterwards, even though Maëlle likes to call him that.

Maëlle: Is that why you and Caël seem especially close?
Kristenn: I guess so. Maybe it’s my guilt from almost killing him.
Fintann: When Caël became older and he came to know more about it, did he blame you for the event?
Kristenn: Absolutely not. When Caël was a teenager, I opened up to him about it after it got mentioned in passing during one of the family gatherings. Caël is a sweetheart. He understood I was also just a child at the time. He just joked that he loves grapes, he just wouldn’t accept one from me anymore. So I cannot give him grapes as a gift.
Fintann: That is noted. Do not give Caël grapes.

Fintann: There are a lot more questions on the chatbox but I think we’re running out of time. Maybe we can reserve it for another session.
Morgane: Which we will include Caël next time.
Fintann: Yes. But before we end, do the ladies have anything else to say? Birthday wishes?
Maëlle: I’ll let the oldest speak for everyone.
Kristenn: Hi Caël. On behalf of your sisters, we wish you a happy birthday! You had been such a blessing to us. We love you very much and we wish you success in all your endeavours.

Fintann: Thank you ladies for getting on the call! Also thanks to everyone watching! And Caël, please don’t fire us haha! Again, if you enjoy our content, please subscribe to Câblé’s Viedéo channel and Caël’s own channel. Links are below. Have a great day!