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BREAKING: Wussie Smolleteress attacked in possible hate crime
In breaking news, the Security Council said that it is investigating claims that Wussie Smolleteress, commonly known as “Wonderess” was attacked in Magicality City. @Wonderess reported to the Regional Assembly early on Tuesday morning that he was assaulted by a number of individuals who yelled out racial and homophobic slurs. Smolleteress told the Assembly that he had informed the Security Council.
Allegedly the suspects smacked him in the face around 2.a.m by not responding to his unnecessarily verbose commentary on the philosophical influences of christianity on the breeding of alligators in Louisiana in the #real-life channel on The North Pacific’s discord server.
Wussie cries while recounting the harrowing story of the attack that totally happened
Reportedly, the attackers did not even participate in a discord voice chat with Wonderess when they “poured an unknown substance” on him before fleeing.
UM, a devoted man servant of Wonderess and someone who doesn’t even go here, was reportedly in the voice chat and alerted the authorities about what had transpired. UM spoke of the the clear discrimination shown towards Wussie. “This is worse than segregation” UM said to Greitbart.
“Leave Wussie alone!!” - UM
When invited for comment, @Sil Dorsett said that the Security Council were investigating the claim when they arrived upon the scene and discovered that Wonderess still had the rope around his neck.
Wonderess told Sil Dorsett that the attackers had yelled “SLOTH Country” before attacking him. Reportedly the attackers were wearing red hats, notably worn by supporters of embattled former Delegate and security council applicant Sloth J Siwale.
The accusations have made waves in the Regional Assembly where it soon became apparent that by continuing to post, Wonderess had in fact tied the rope around his own neck. Furthermore, the Security Council confirmed that Wonderess had paid the attackers and that Sloth J Siwale was not responsible.
Tlomz praying for Wussie Smolleteress
Prominent feminist thought leader and Vice Chairwomyn of TNP Cow, Ms @TlomzKrano spoke to Greitbart and said “It is important we believe Wussie. Otherwise when others come forward about things that didn’t happen, who will believe them?”
On their evening talk show “The Privileged Few”, Greitbart co-hosts @Darcania and McMasterdonia went further saying on air that “The racist, homophobic attack on @WussieSmoletteress is an affront to our humanity. No one should be attacked for who they are or which male figure they worship. I pray that Wussie has a speedy recovery & that justice is served. May we all commit to ending this hate once & for all.”
Nevertheless, former Delegate Sloth J @Siwale continues to refuse to post in the #real-life channel or to participate in voice chats. Proving once again, that he is completely unfit to serve on the body responsible for our regional security.
#WeBelieveWussie
More to come.
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